Shawn's P.O.V.

I'm halfway home on foot when I hear someone jogging behind me. I already know it's Jack. He followed me once when I was jogging, I know how heavy his feet sound against the pavement. "Don't you think you've done enough stalking?" I ask once he's in ear shot.

He comes up beside me before slowing his jog to a walk. "I resent that." He says, breathing heavy. "I was just trying to get to know you."

I glance over at Jack. "Look, I can appreciate you wanting to find your family or whatever but it's not with us. My brother died, a very horrible death, but we've moved on."

"Livia doesn't think you've moved on at all. Are you still having nightmares?"

Before I can even think about what I'm doing, my fist curls up and I swing my arm, punching him in the nose. Jack groans and holds his nose, "I don't know what Livia told you or why but it wasn't her place. It sure as hell isn't yours." I turn around and continue walking.

Jack falters behind a little, but continues walking behind me. The fact that he hasn't given up yet makes me even angier. "Okay I overstepped, I get it." His muffled voice pricks my ears, "Look, I have the nightmares too." I stop, turning to him. "I thought it was just a bad dream but...now I know it's real."

I don't answer him, I don't owe him anything so I keep walking. Ten minutes later, I make it to my house. "You can come in and grab your stuff, but then I want you out. If I ever see you near me or my mom again, I'll give you a lot more than a bloody nose." I warn him, opening the door for him to get inside.

I close it behind the both of us and make it to the kitchen to find anything with alcohol in it. I hear Jack go upstairs and pray I never have to see his face again. When I locate an old bottle of vodka I cringe but open it up. Vodka hits me fast and hard but that's exactly what I need right now. I drink it straight from the bottle, gagging at the burning aftertaste that lingers.

"Maybe drinking isn't the right idea. You're pretty pissed off." Jack says as he walks in the kitchen, his suitcase beside him, and a folder in his hand. I look him in the eyes as I take another drink from the bottle. I guess God isn't on my side tonight.

I set it down after that, needing a minute. "What are you, my big brother?" I chuckle humorlessly to myself, feeling more angry at the audacity of this stranger in front of me.

Jack sighs, opening the folder in his hand and laying it on the counter in front of me. "Those are my adoption and hospital records. I went in unconscious, with a head wound and smoke in my lungs. When I woke up, I didn't know who I was. I was there for days, unclaimed, a John Doe. Then Emily Briers saw me in the hospital and saw an opportunity. Adopting a baby takes years and I was just there, with no memory of who I was."

"I don't want your sob story." I spit, unable to control my inhabited thoughts.

Jack continues anyway, "For as long as I can remember I had nightmares of an apartment I was in burning up with fire. It always ends with a beam falling on me, and then I wake up. Recently, I've remembered other things. But instead of them being with my family, it's with yours. I remember that convention, Dianne and Henry telling you and me to get close for the picture."

"Stop it." I say, knowing there's no way he's Gage.

Jack takes a step closer to me. "I remember the trips we used to take. The way me and you played stupid car games in the back seat. Dianne's self-improvement CD's, Henry's road map that he used to hand me to read." He pauses before continuing, "Those are just the little things. I know you were only nine but come on, don't you remember anything?"

I shake my head, I blocked him out. I blocked my dad out. "I. Said. Stop. It."

"No! You have no idea how hard it's been for me. Remembering things about a family so late in life that there's nothing I can do about it. I can never get those years back with you and Dianne. So no, I'm not going to stop until you realize that I am who I say I am."

He doesn't know half of it. "Stop it! Get the fuck out of my house."

"Not until you listen to me!"

I let my anger take over, grabbing the collar of his shirt and putting him up against the wall. He's stronger than me, he can stop me if he wants to, but he doesn't move. "Let's say you're right, you're my long lost fucking brother. What good is that going to do? You have no idea what I went through either. Gage was my mom's fucking angel child. So when she lost him and my dad there was nothing left of her. I had to pick up the pieces, she couldn't even be that perfect mom you remember so much. If you are who you say you are, then fuck you! Fuck you for leaving me with her!"

"Kevin!" I let go of Jack at the sound of Dianne's voice. When I turn to her, both Livia, and Katie are right behind her. I didn't even hear them come in.

I try to catch my breath and point to the folder on the counter, "There's your proof, Dianne." I say before grabbing the vodka and walking past everyone to get to the stairs. I get inside my room and slam the door behind me. The alcohol burns down my throat as I drink as much as I can handle. It's disgusting but the only thing that makes me feel something else. Anger bubbles inside me still, not magnified but not dissipated either. I put the vodka on my nightstand at the same time Livia walks in. "Not now Liv, as you can tell, I'm not having a very merry Christmas." I chuckle to myself.

Livia crosses her arms over her chest, "You're mad at me, I get it."

"Mad is an easy term isn't it?" I sit on the bed and grab her waist to pull her in, so that she's standing in between my legs. "Let's play doctor," I point to myself. "I'll tell you I'm in pain or whatever, " I point to her, "And you, hand me that bottle over there to cure me."

Livia stands back, clearly frustrated by my game. "This isn't a joke Shawn. You need to talk about this."

I stand up in front of her, needing to do anything other than talking through my feelings. I wrap my arms around her and try to kiss her, "Why don't we do something else hmm?"

My attempts at kissing her fall short when she moves her face away from me. "Shawn stop."

I pull away, still angry and not thinking, "Why? You're not the only one who wants to use sex as a distraction. Or don't you remember coming to me every time Dean hit you?" A part of me regrets it immediately after saying it. The bigger part of me is drunk and doesn't care.

She takes a step back from me, pointing out the obvious. "You're drunk, and being mean."

"Then why don't you leave me alone?"

"Because I love you." Livia says, thinking that's enough to make up for everything.

I look up at her, "How long have you known about Jack?"

"Shawn I-"

"How long?!" I yell.

Livia hesitates before replying, her perfect face saddened by my demeanor. "I found out right after your birthday." That's almost two months of her knowing and keeping it from me.

I pick up the bottle, staring at it. It's half a pint, 375ml of alcohol that's supposed to make me feel better or numb at least. I don't feel anything other than anger. I trust Livia with everything I have. Then Jack comes along and pretends to be something I've pushed away for eighteen years. I spent years wishing he was alive before I couldn't handle the pain anymore. So I acted like it was always just Dianne and I. I was the son she never wanted, and she was the mom I never wanted. It was balanced, it worked for us. Now, it's all been a lie? If Jack is Gage then what's worse is he thinks he had it bad.

Without thinking, I turn around and throw the small bottle at the nearest wall. It shatters into small, wet pieces on the floor. Livia jumps and lets out a small scream. I look at her, wondering why she hasn't left yet. She's crying now, clearly scared, or mad at me, or both. I don't care though, I can't care. After a moment, she reaches down into her bag and tosses me a box, "Go ahead and break that too. Ruin everything in this room until you can't breathe anymore. I know what it feels like to get news that alters everything you knew about someone."

"Please, for once, don't make this about you."

"I'm just trying to help you!" She cries, wiping the tears from her face. "Fine, fuck you, Shawn." Livia says softly before opening the door and leaving me to myself.

I fumble to the bed and sit down. The box is medium sized and velvet. It looks a little worn, like it's old or something. I open it slowly, hearing the creak from the box. It only takes me a second to figure out this was my dad's watch. With golden roman numerals, and a chestnut strap. It's ticking away, which means someone got it fixed. This was my father's favorite watch, the only reason he wasn't wearing it when he died was because it broke the day before our flight to New York. He didn't have enough time to take it to a shop before our trip.

I remember Gage putting it on his wrist and doing an impression of our dad. He was trying to make me laugh because I was upset over something. I don't remember what it was but everything is so clear, like it happened yesterday.

God, I think to myself, I'm a dick.