By the time we get back to the apartment, Shawn is home. "Where have you been?" He questions.

I look up at Jack and Katie, "I was just looking for something in my dorm room. They gave me a ride." I'm lying, I know that. Going to see Dean is something he wouldn't understand.

"Oh." Shawn says. "Did you find it?"

I shake my head, another lie. "No." I make my way into the kitchen, fully aware of the room full of people looking at me, watching my every move. I grab a bottle of wine and a corkscrew, opening it with an audience.

"Isn't it a little early for that?" My mom questions.

I find a wine glass before turning to her, "I don't have anywhere else to be tonight." I begin to pour my wine but stop halfway to look up at my friends. "Is everyone going to watch me or grab a glass?"

Jenny, Becca, Luke, and Katie grab themselves a glass to put the wine in. Even my mom and Jack give in and have me pour them some. Everyone except Shawn. "Someone should stay sober." He decides in front of everyone.

I begin to laugh, "Why?" I ask as I take my first sip of wine. "What do we have to be so mature about these days?" Another sip. "It's not like we have a baby anymore."

"Livia!" My mom chastises.

The three people in the room, that had no clue gasps. "Wait you were...?" Jenny trails off while I drink some more.

"About six weeks or so." Shawn adds, he's not happy with me. Neither is my mom, it was a low blow. One they're willing to overlook because of what happened to me.

Another drink. "Yes, it's all very dark and depressing." Before anyone else can say something, I fill up my glass and walk away.

Shawn's P.O.V.

The door slams shut behind her, it causes me to tense. "Why the fuck didn't she tell us?" Jenny questions, a little angry at Livia.

I answer her question, "She said it was too early, and anything could happen." The irony isn't lost to me, everything did happen.

"That is so messed up." Becca adds. "I didn't think Dean was capable of something like that."

Unfortunately no one did. I never saw something like this coming. Not even after he came to visit me in my classroom. "Someone should go talk to her." Jenny suggests.

I shake my head, "If someone goes in there, Livia's guard is just going to come right back up. She'll lash out and say something she'll regret. Right now we just need to give her some space." They listen to me, why wouldn't they? I was the only one who handled Livia after everything Dean did. I know her like the back of my hand and yet we're still ripping apart at the seams.

"You're right." Olivia says with a sigh. "Do you think she'll ever be okay again?" It's strange that Livia's mother is asking me this. It's her daughter and yet, she doesn't know her like she should.

"It's Livia." I tell her. "She's stronger than she seems." She'll get through this, just like she always does. I take a seat on the barstool, "When is your flight back?" They've been here for two days already, and lives to attend to.

Olivia answers for everyone. "Early tomorrow morning."

"Is she going home with you?" I know they talked about it briefly.

She shakes her head. "I want her to." We can't always get what we want, Olivia knows that.

"Well if she does come home, I want to stay in the loop." Becca says. "We want her to know she has our support." I don't think Livia gives her friends enough credit. They're there for her in a heartbeat. Perhaps if she went home, she wouldn't take that for granted.

"Livia is lucky to have you guys." I voice.

Jenny smiles but shakes her head at me. "I could say the same about you." before I can add anything, her phone begins to ring. "Oh, it's Jake." We all wait patiently for her to leave the room.

After a few more minutes, I decide to go check on Livia. She is sitting at the end of the bed, playing with her necklace. I move to sit beside her, "Katie had to work tonight, so she left with Jack. You didn't go get something from your dorm did you?"

Livia lets go of the necklace, allowing it to fall promptly on her chest. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

Livia looks up at me, "How do you know me so well?"

Finally, a question I can answer honestly. "I just pay attention to you." I noticed her playing with the necklace, something she does when she's hiding something from me. Plus she didn't come back with anything from her dorm.

"Well stop it." Livia demands as she lifts up her wine glass and drinks from it.

I take it from her and just hold it. "That's something I can't do." I tell her. She looks so sad, "So what did you go do today?"

Livia takes the wine glass back. "I went to visit Dean in jail."

"You what?" I take a deep breath, yelling is not the answer right now. "Why?" I ask more softly.

Livia's shoulders lift up in a shrug as she stares straight ahead. "I wanted to give him his ring back. Besides, I had to give the police my statement."

"You actually went to give him a ring." It's not a question because I already know the answer.

She's a sucker for closure, "I just wanted it to finally be over. To look him in the eyes and-" Livia sighs, her breath smells like Merlot. "I don't know." Livia begins to chuckle softly. "He didn't even care about what he had done. How was I blinded by him for as long as I was?"

I put my hand on her leg in a comforting gesture. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Livia leans her head on my shoulder. "No." She decides. "Can we just stay here for a while?"

I rest my head on hers, "Your friends are leaving in the morning." I remind her.

"Yeah," She says. "I just want to be here with you."

"Okay." I agree and then shut up.

Livia's P.O.V.

I'm going to be honest when I say that I have no idea where to go from here. Nothing is what it's supposed to be anymore. I feel like a fly caught in this web of chaos and drama. All I've wanted is to get out of it. "I'm tired." I tell Shawn because I know he's tired too.

"Yeah." He lifts his head off of mine so that we both are sitting up. Shawn grabs my hand and we stand up together. I set my glass down on the dresser before turning back to Shawn. "Lift up your arms." I do as he says, lifting my arms in the air. Shawn grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls it up over my head. It falls to the floor just as soft as it is quiet. I'm only in my bra now. Shawn has seen me naked many times and yet I feel insecure under his eyes. My arms move to wrap around my torso in an effort to cover up. There's still lots of bruising and swelling. "Are you cold?" Shawn questions.

I look away from him, "Do you have a shirt for me to put on?"

He smiles, taking the shirt he's wearing off and hanging it to me. I take it, loving that it will smell just like him. I turn around fully in order to take my bra off and put the shirt on. "You don't have to hide from me." Shawn tells me, fully away of my sudden shyness towards him.

I sigh and finish changing before turning back to him. "I barely want to look at myself, why would you want to see me?" It's just another reminder of everything that's happened. At least until it heals.

"Because you're beautiful."

"Maybe three days ago." I counter.

Shawn stared at me for a while, thinking of what to say next. "Are you forgetting that I've seen the bruises on your body plenty of times before?" The words that came out of his mouth surprise me. As if he needs to prove some kind of point.

"That was different." I say. "Those other times were only reminders for me, not for you."

Shawn walks up close to me. He reaches his hand out and presses his thumb gently on my bottom lip. He's careful not to touch the cut. I look up at him through my eyelashes. "They didn't hurt any less." Shawn softly retorts.

He's right and I know it. So I nod and his arm falls back to his side. "I think I'm ready to face my friends again."

Okay, let's go then." Shawn grabs my hand as we begin to exit his bedroom

"Wait." I stop him. "You should put on a shirt."

Shawn smiles and looks down at himself. It's been a while since I've seen his lips curl up like that. "You're right. I'll meet you out there."

I nod sharply, reaching up to kiss his cheek before exiting the room. "We made dinner. I hope you don't mind." My mother announces as I walk in. It smells like baked chicken and macaroni. It was my favorite when I was seven.

"Thank you." I say as I take a seat. I haven't eaten much these past few days, so my stomach rumbles loudly.

I sit on the bar stool and my mom places a plate in front of me. "Eat up, you'll need your strength."

"I haven't had the best appetite." I admit as I pick up my knife and cut into the chicken.

Shawn walks down at that moment, he rubs my back as he sits down beside me. "I'm working on fixing that." He jokes more to my mother.

She smiles at him and fixes him a plate. "Have you thought about coming home with me tomorrow?"

Honestly, no. "Not to pressure you or anything, but Noelle has been missing her aunt." Jenny tells me. Becca whispers something inaudible in her ear, causing Jenny to grimace. "Sorry, that was insensitive."

I swallow the food in my mouth and reply, "It's okay. You're allowed to talk about your baby. Especially one as adorable as Noelle." I offer her a smile but I feel like she can tell it's fake. The truth is I'm upset that she has a baby and I lost mine so violently. I have no right to be jealous and yet here I am. I really do love Noelle though, so my feelings feel invalid and pointless.

Luke sits across from Becca, he keeps looking at her from time to time. I wonder how unhappy he is now that they're not together anymore. "You don't have to lie to us. We get it."

I'm momentarily stunned by his bluntness. Shawn responds before I do. "Why don't you answer Olivia's question?"

I silently thank him for the change in topic and turn to look at my mom still fixing plates. "I don't think so. At least not yet, I have class and the police probably need me to stay in town."

"Well once it all blows over, you're more than welcome to come home." Mom tells me just like I knew she would. I'm not exactly sure why, maybe it's because something bad happened to me and she wants to protect me. Or maybe she just misses me. Either way, if I went home I would just be alone. Even though that sounds nice, I don't want to leave Shawn. He's going through something too. Maybe I will go home soon, but for right now I'm okay.

"Thanks, mom." I smile again but this time it doesn't stick as long. I'm starting to feel like partially cooked pasta on the wall.

We get through dinner relatively fast. I find myself walking over to the couch and enjoying the rest of the evening with my friends. My mom leaves for her hotel after dessert and so it leaves the five of us. I curl up on the couch with Shawn, Jenny and Becca are sitting on the armchair across from me together. Luke sits on the other end of the couch, with his arms crossed and his head leaned back. "So," Jenny begins. She's making an uncomfortable face, meaning she's about to ask an uncomfortable question. "What did you want to name your baby?"

Becca sneers at her but I put my hand up to stop her scolding. "It's okay, she's allowed to ask questions."

"I think we had decided on Smith for a boy and Ava for a girl." Shawn answers Jenny calmly.

I look over at him, we both thought it was a baby girl. "Those are really nice names." Jenny says. "I would've enjoyed being an aunt."

"You will be." I assure her as I glance up at Shawn. "One day."

"I know I'm not having kids for a long time." Becca announces. I laugh at this, Becca has never been the wannabe mom type. She's fine with other people's kids, but she's always dismissed the thought of having her own. Now that her and Luke aren't together anymore, it's not as likely to happen anytime soon.

Luke looks at Becca for a moment too long, he shakes his head, seeming to rid whatever thoughts he had. I feel bad for him, knowing what it's like to not have the same goals but strong feelings. They were the most normal out of all of us, and even they couldn't stay together. It really pegs the question of what rights Shawn and I have of staying together.

I begin to hold Shawn's hand a little tighter. Rubbing imaginary circles on his skin calms me. We're different then we used to be, weaker even. Like all of the things that we've been through are finally catching up to us. It makes me wonder how much longer we'll be able to pretend. We love each other, and we always will. Just like Becca and Luke, it might not be enough.

"Why are you staring at me?" Luke whispers to me.

I shake my head, ridding the thoughts of my future with Shawn. Attempting to push down the possibilities of what's to come. "Sorry." I say. "I zoned out."

"Hmm." He mumbles, sitting back in the chair.

I dismiss myself to bed after that. Not wanting to endure the reminders anymore. Shawn makes sure everyone has everything they need before following me up the stairs. He shuts the door behind him and leans on the door. "Are you okay?"

I turn to him, not missing how good he looks. "Why are you always asking me that?"

Shawn pushes himself off of the door. "Because you always seem sad."

"Well, maybe I am sad." I lift my arms up as I speak. "What chance do we really have?" I voice my insecurities.

Shawn takes a step closer to me. "Do you want me to be honest?" I nod, even though I don't. I want him to lie to me, to tell me we'll be together no matter what happens. But what good would that do for us in the end? Shawn licks his lips, hesitating before finally replying. "I think we've never stood a chance."

He's right, just like I knew he would be. From day one, we've been doomed. "What does that mean for us?"

It means the worst, it means we're a ticking time bomb, an alarm set super early in the morning, it means we don't have all the time in the world. Shawn lifts my chin, "I'm not sure." I'm not either, I always look to him for all of the answers, I never thought he might not have any. "Do we have to figure it out tonight?" He asks softly.

I shake my head, "No." But we can't put it off forever.