Chapter 30

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

"Are you okay?" He whispered into my ear as my breathing had finally slowed down, back to its normal pace. After I came to the realization, I immediately felt nervous all over.

"I think so," I sniffled, gently wiping my long sleeve shirt under my nose to help my nostrils clear up. "Thank you for listening to my fucking sob story."

I snorted, slightly shaking my head as I slowly raised my legs off of his and lifted my head off his shoulder. We sat side by side, our legs barely touching each other as we both stared at the sun that was setting through the trees.

"I told you I'd be here if you ever wanted to talk," he breathed, slightly turning his head over his shoulder as his eyes connected with mine. This was the second time I broke down in front of him, and both times, he never left me alone.

"I just wanted to tell someone," I shrugged my shoulders, my eyes wandering off to watch the beautiful blue and pink colors swirl together in the sky. The sun was a rich, orange color and the sky surrounding it was just as vibrant as the Christmas lights that sparkled against the pine trees. 

"It feels good to tell someone," he commented as I hummed in response. I lightly trailed my finger against the wooden bench, running over the details in the wood as I bit my lip in concentration.

"I'm- I'm sorry for what I said about your dad that one day at the coffee shop," he sighed as his electrifying emerald eyes darted to meet mine.

"It's okay," I shrugged my shoulders as I fought back the small smile that threatened to break out. He actually apologized.

"I'm also sorry about Jason," he huffed, a hint of anger lacing in between his words. I could tell he was furious after I told him what Jason did. I wondered why he cared so much, but then again, why did I?

"Let's just talk about something else, yeah?" I chuckled as his plump lips morphed into a small smile. "I've got you at a time where you aren't being an ass, so I need to take advantage of it."

He barked a laugh, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as his dimples were now visible on each cheek. I didn't know how long we've been out here, but I knew I had to get home soon because I didn't want Jace to be overwhelmed with taking care of Liv.

"I'm an asshole, I know, I know," he mumbled under his breath, sarcasm evident in his tone as he lightly shook his head. I bit the inside of my cheek as I watched a few strands of hair graze against his forehead from the random gust of wind.

He caught my eyes, his emerald eyes brighter than the stars that appeared after the sun went down. He genuinely took my breath away. We stared at each other for who knew how long before I cleared my throat, my cheeks burning up from embarrassment.

"You know," I started, trying to keep my mind off of the gorgeous boy that sat next to me. What is going on with me? "I always wonder what life would be like if my dad hadn't passed away."

Karson turned his body to face me, my body shivering as the temperature significantly dropped. I wrapped my arms around each other, slightly rubbing my hands up and down as I tried to build up warmth.

"I'm sure you do, princess," he whispered, his eyes holding a look of pain as he watched me rub my arms. "Cold?"

"A little bit," I shrugged, the cold weather bothering me more than I thought it would. I was too distracted to even care how cold I was.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear that flew in front of my face as the wind kicked up. My teeth slightly chattered as goosebumps pricked my arms, the small hairs raising as the temperature continued to drop. We were the only ones left in the park.

"What was your dad like?" Karson asked, curiosity seeping through his smile lines as he slightly tilted his head to the side.

I smiled, so many vivid memories coming to me at full force, all at once. "He was my best friend and he was the only person I really looked up to. He absolutely adored any genre of music and he adored my mother. Those were his two favorite things in the world, God, his love for her was so powerful."

Karson smiled as he watched me talk about my father. He didn't say a word, he just let me continue talking about my father. "Every morning, we would be the first two to wake up and we would catch up with everything that was going on, just the two of us. I would look forward to our talks every morning. Our conversations would be about boys, how fast Jace and Olivia were growing, or even something simple like what the fucking weather would be. We would talk about anything and everything."

"He sounds amazing," Karson smiled, his eyes never once leaving mine. The wind blew his shirt as it tightly hugged his muscular body. His broad shoulders were slightly tensed as we sat inches away from each other on the bench.

"He was," I smiled, trying not to tear up as I thought about how different our lives would be if he was still here. No scars, no abuse, no Jason, no alcohol. I wish things were different, but unfortunately they weren't. "Enough talking about me, I'm boring. Why don't you say something you've been wanting to open up about, Ryder?"

His shoulders were slightly hunched over as his jaw tightened. Something was bugging him, but I wasn't sure if he was ready to talk about it just yet.

"Those stitches," he pointed to my hand as I slowly flipped it over to where my injured palm was on show. "I only knew how to do it because I fought for my dad."

My eyes widened in shock, not expecting those words to fall from his mouth. I briefly remembered Colton saying something about that, but I couldn't quite remember. "You fought for him?"

"He forced me into the business. I didn't have a fucking choice," he growled, his eyes narrowing at the stitches he gave me.

"What business?" I hesitantly asked as my eyes trailed down to watch him clench his fists until his knuckles turned white. These memories were obviously traumatic for him just because of how he was reacting.

"It was some illegal underground shit," he sighed, keeping the answer short as his eyes burned with rage. "He made me fight for him. He was a very well known man in the underground, everyone always cowering away from him when he walked by. He forced me to fight for him so I could win him money, and if I didn't, he threatened to hurt Amelia. I had no fucking choice and even after we moved down here, he still sends texts threatening Amelia and I."

I frowned, my heart shattering into pieces as I thought of Damon laying a hand on that young girl. My gut clenched as I imagined Karson fighting in the ring, miserable as he kept fighting for the sake of Amelia.

I glanced down at his fists once more and gently scooted closer to him. His forehead creased, his eyes holding a mix of confusion and defeat. I gently grabbed his hands and pulled them apart so he was no longer hurting himself.

My fingers lightly grazed over the scars that were visible on his rough knuckles. Some were bigger than the others, but most were small, white lines. His breath hitched, his eyes watching me as I ran my finger along them.

I looked up at him and gave him a reassuring small smile, trying to tell him it would be okay. I held one of his hands, placing it in my lap as I gently ran my thumb along the back of his hand. He visibly gulped as he stared at our hands, but he didn't move one inch.

"Keep going," I assured, nodding my head as we stared into each other's eyes. We were both vulnerable. This was real. This moment was not between anyone else except Karson and I.

Something about seeing him now, in a new perspective has made me feel a whirlwind of different emotions. He makes me feel nervous, safe, stupid, angry, loved and even worthy. No one has really been able to make be feel all of those at once except for him. 

The Karson at school was a boy who hid behind every wall he built around himself, just like me, too afraid to show how he really felt. He didn't want anyone to know how much he was struggling, he just wanted everyone to think he was okay.

He trusted me. He opened up to me, showing me this was the real Karson. At school, he was an asshole that only knew how to cope by pushing his anger onto everyone. By ourselves, he was just a boy who needed someone to help him cope with everything he's been through.

Although he thinks he fucked up, in reality, he's just hurt. His dad fucked with him, leaving deep scars that would haunt him forever, but that didn't mean Karson and his father were the same person. Karson is so much more, but he doesn't understand that.

"I trained for a few months so I could be ready to move up in the ring. I would finally be able to fight, and if the men were bigger than me, I ended up making more money, so I usually fought men who were twice my size," he explained.

"I had all this anger inside and I didn't know how to get rid of it. When I fought my opponents, I would let all my anger out on them. Each punch I thought about my father hurting Amelia, and that gave me enough strength to push through and beat them every time. I was fucking undefeated," he growled, his eyes dangerously dark as his began to clench his fist in my grip. I gently pulled his fingers apart as I gave him another reassuring smile. "I think that's the main reason my father was mad when I left. Because I was undefeated, I was winning a shit ton of money, so when I left, he had no one to help him get thousands of dollars."

"That's so fucked up," I shook my head, anger coursing through my veins as I thought of Karson's bruised body after every match. I hated his father. How could he do that?

"Colton and Braxton were with me too. They didn't fight, but they helped me with everything. Wrapping my bandages before the fight, encouraging me to keep pushing, anything. They were there for me the whole goddamn time," his lips were pressed in a thin line, occasionally glancing up at the stars that were miles and miles above us.

"Why did they move down here with you?" I gently asked as I continued to rub circles on the back of his hand for comfort.

"We've all known each other since we were little and we've been by each other's sides for years. They both have shitty home lives too. Braxton's parents were never home, either in a different state or country, so he lived with my family and I for most of his life. They forgot about him," Karson clenched his jaw at the memory, his eyes shut as his breathing got heavier. My eyes were wide, the realization hitting me, finally understanding why they had the closet bond within the group.

"And Colton?" I questioned, the curiosity getting the best of me. I knew it wasn't my business, so if he didn't want to tell me, I was perfectly okay with that.

"His dad was an alcoholic, and his mom died when he was only five years old. Her grave is in this town, buried in some cemetery only a few miles from here. This was Colton's home town before they moved to where Braxton and I lived. I guess his father didn't want to be reminded that his wife died in this town," he shivered, the cold wind hitting his bare skin. "We all knew we wanted to leave our shit lives and that town, but we didn't know where, so Colton offered moving here. We didn't have any other idea on where to go, so we just moved down here."

Oh. Colton went to his mother's grave when he was 'visiting someone' the other day. "What about Amelia and Colton's dad?"

"We dropped Amelia off at my grandmother's house. I didn't want her to come with us because if he ever found us, he would go for her first to get back at me. I knew the best option to keep her safe was for her to live at our grandmother's house. As for Colton's father, he was on the brink of death because of how much alcohol he drank. When he was piss drunk, he would hit Colton, leaving a few bruises, but it didn't happen often. Colton wanted to leave, so he just left his father behind," he confessed, all this new information clouding my thoughts as the pieces finally connected. All they wanted to do was get away from that fucked up town. It wasn't home anymore.

Colton wanted to get away from his abusive father, while Karson and Braxton wanted to get away from Damon and the underground. My heart clenched as I thought of Colton's father hitting him at such a young age, not having a clue on what to do because he was alone.

I was finally able to understand why he was so quiet. When my mother first hit me, I was quiet for a while, not having enough strength to get any words out because I was so afraid. I was afraid that if I said the wrong thing, I would get hit. Colton was still afraid, his trauma still weighing down on him.

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath as my forehead creased in sorrow. All three of them have been through so much more than I ever imagined. "I'm so sorry, Karson."

"It's in the past, you know? I'm just glad we got away when we did. God, I'm so fucking glad Amelia is safe," he sighed in relief, using the words I said to him, it's in the past. His tense shoulders hunched over himself as his hand crawled out of my grasp.

He bent over as his elbows propped against his knees, the palm of his hands gently holding his head. I frowned as I watched his leg bounce up and down, anxiously moving as his chest rapidly rose up and down.

"Hey, hey, it's going to be okay. Amelia is safe, Braxton is safe, and Colton is safe. You did fucking amazing, you got that?" I reassured as I gently tugged at his arm. His hands released his head, giving me time to glance at his cheeks under the moonlight. "Karson?"

I whispered his name, my gut clenching as I stared at the small tear that escaped from his eye. I gasped, my heart pounding in my chest as I looked at the broken boy in front of me. He shook his head as I still held onto his arm, my grip tight so he couldn't slip through.

"Look at me," I demanded, my voice small yet rough. His eyes met mine, the visible tears resting on his water line as I scanned his face. The tear fell onto his lips, slightly grazing his bottom lip before it fell to his chin.

I scooted closer to him, grabbing both of his hands as I held both of them in my lap. His eyes only held pain, anger, and defeat. My heart clenched in pain as I watched his walls crumble in front of me.

"I'm so fucking scared, Dakota," he admitted, his voice merely above a whisper as his jaw clenched in frustration.

I took his head in my hands, slightly wincing as my stitches connected with his soft cheek. My hands encased his head, his eyes intensely staring into mine as my thumb wiped the tear off his chin. His lips slightly twitched, almost into a smile before he brushed it off.

"I know you're scared, Karson, but look how far you've gotten. You saved Amelia and you saved Colton from his father. You should be so fucking proud of yourself, because we all are. You need to stop being so hard on yourself, because you don't fucking deserve it," I rushed out, my chest rising up and down as I caught my breath. He stared at me with wide eyes, not expecting those words to fall from my lips.

Before he could say anything, his arms quickly crawled around my waist and pulled me into chest. I slightly squealed, surprised by the sudden movement, but I subconsciously wrapped my arms around his neck. His head was resting against my shoulder as I gently ran my fingers through his soft hair.

"Thank you," he mumbled into my hair, the words almost inaudible. He clawed at my back, but not hard enough to hurt me. I raked my fingers through his hair and gently held the nape of his neck, trying to tell him I was here for him.

We pulled away from each other as comfortable silence filled the atmosphere around us. Neither of us spoke a word, the only noise coming from our heavy breathing that quickly aligned with each other's.

I felt a small weight fall off my shoulders knowing that I told someone about Jason. This time, someone actually showed they cared and didn't show any pity towards me. We both went through some fucked up things, and we are still fighting those same battles to this day.

I gently raised my body off the bench, grabbing my phone from my back pocket as the bright screen hurt my sensitive eyes. I slightly squinted, turning the brightness down as I glanced at the time. 10:04pm.

I turned off my phone and slid it back into my pocket. I sighed, breathing in the fresh air as the wind continued to nip at our skin. I gently ran a hand against my cheeks, trying to get rid of any residue from the tears that only fell a few minutes ago.

"I'm glad you actually showed up," Karson snorted, breaking the comfortable silence that only lasted a few moments. "A small part of me didn't think you were going to come."

I shrugged my shoulders, a small smile pulling at my lips. We were going to be okay. "How could I resist?"

Karson barked a laugh, rolling his eyes before his gaze connected with mine. We both showed each other who we really were tonight. "No girl can resist me, I'm a fucking God."

Sarcasm was evident in his words as I continued to play along. "You're quite ugly for a God. Aren't they supposed to be handsome or beautiful?"

"Who said I'm not both?" he raised his eyebrows in a playful manner, smirking as he began to stand up.

"Do me a favor and look at yourself in the mirror one time," I jokingly shook my head. "You'll be disappointed. I mean, when I first saw you, I definitely didn't expect to look up and see the person who I ran into was such a hideous creature."

"Ah yes," he gasped, patting his chin with his index finger. "The first time we met, I remember it like it was yesterday."

"Oh really?" I joked, biting my lip as I fought back the laugh that threatened to fall out. My eyebrows raised in suspicion as we both stood face to face.

"I remember thinking, how dare such an ugly blonde monster run into me? She shall be punished," he jokingly growled as his eyes lit up with amusement. I gasped, placing my hand over my heart for the dramatic effect. We shared a look before both us of burst into laughter.

"What the fuck are we doing?" I snorted as I let out another small laugh. We sounded so fucking stupid.

"I have no fucking clue," he shrugged his shoulders, his dimples on display as a huge smile covered his lips. My stomach fluttered with nerves.

"I don't really want to see your face anymore," I decided, fake gagging as I pointed my finger inside my mouth. "I've seen too much ugliness for one day. My eyes need a break."

"Ha-ha, very funny, princess," Karson rolled his eyes, but he couldn't hide the glint of amusement seeping through his smile lines.

"Bye, Ryder," I playfully winked as I slowly placed one foot behind me and started walking backwards.

"Fuck off, Anderson," he mocked, my last name falling off his tongue so smoothly. The way he said my last name made me feel giddy inside.

I flipped him off, turning on my heel as I walked towards my car. I kept my head low, giving up as I no longer tried to fight the smile that threatened to break through. I heard the gravel crunch beneath his feet behind me as he walked to his car.

We went our separate ways, knowing damn well tonight had completely changed the game. Tonight, we both came to the realization that both of us weren't okay. He opened up to me, and I opened up to him.

Deep down, I knew that we both weren't able to win our battles on our own. I needed his help and he needed mine, and eventually, we would be okay.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net