"Don't bullshit me, bitch."

Dropping her head, Danny sighed softly and prayed someone would come save her. Already it was beginning to snow softly and so Danny tried to use the cold weather as her excuse to shy away and hide and her jacket. Her best friend wasn't having it though and only began speaking louder.

"Daniela Simone Grant I know you are lying! You were not at your house sick because a. I went to try and check on you. And b. Your mom called and asked me where you were. So come on chica, spill it."

Aubree crossed her arms over her chest and stopped in the middle of the campus, refusing to move any further until Danny started telling the truth.

For the past two, almost three days Aubree had been trying to get in touch with Danny and she hadn't answered one single text or call. It would have been one thing if she had lost her phone or was out and just wasn't answering, but she wasn't even at school and Danny never missed a class.

She may not be the smartest or know everything, but she wasn't dumb. She knew whatever her reasoning for being m.i.a, it had to deal with Ray.

"Aubree I'm telling the truth! I wasn't feeling well which is why I missed classes and I lost my phone which is why I didn't answer."

"And why did your mom call asking me where you were?"

"Because I snuck out and went to Ray's now can we please go get some lunch like you promised? It's freezing out here and I'm hungry."

Aubree narrowed her eyes and Danny did her best not to crack under pressure. She was convinced she wasn't lying, not really at least. She wasn't feeling well with everything going on and she really did loose her phone....after Freddy kidnapped her and most likely trashed it.

It sucked lying to Aubree, especially because she'd never done it before and she knew Aubree hadn't either, but on top of not wanting her best friend to worry too much, she also didn't want to break omerta or whatever Mafia code there was Freddy told her about. Danny herself still barely understood what was going on and she refused to bring Aubree into any of it.

"Fine!" Aubree screamed, throwing her hands into the air and finally cracking. Danny smiled and flew forward, wrapping Aubree in a tight hug. It hadn't been this hard explaining her absence to her parents but she knew Aubree was gonna be a tough nut to crack. She was just glad her friend wasn't interrogating her anymore.

"Dammit, Danny I'm just worried about you. It's not everyday you of all people like a guy and it's....weird. I'm happy for you, I really am, but sometimes it feels like you forget I even exist. I don't treat you like that when I want to spend time with Brandon do I?"

"What? God Aubree no! You know I love you and I never meant to make you feel that way! Ray is......well Ray is great. He's really the best thing to ever happen to me and the way he treats me has me over the moon but.....," Danny paused for a moment, trying her hardest to put her feelings into words.

She hadn't meant to ostracize Aubree or maker her feel forgotten but it's not like she'd had much time to focus on anything else with everything going on.

"I really don't know how to explain it," she finally grumbled, rubbing her palms into her eyes and groaning in frustration. She'd just gotten out of the slump she'd been in about finding out Ray killed people for a living and now, as she sat there and tried to figure out more lies to tell her best friend, she felt herself sinking right back into.

God the man was like candy. He was sweet and tasty and Danny could never deny what he offered, but in the long run she knew he was bad for her. She knew too much of him would be trouble in the end but she couldn't just get rid of him. He'd been feeding her sweet tooth too long.

It just sucked when she had to put that candy down and remember there were still other things and people out there.

"But you love him?" Aubree said sympathetically, her smile soft as she sensed her friends inner turmoil. Danny didn't look up. She couldn't yet or she feared there'd be tears in her eyes. Even though she'd agreed not to leave Ray and made him promise he wouldn't leave her, that didn't mean she was satisfied or even comfortable with what he did. He'd still lied to her and he was still a murderer.

But she was still in love and she was gonna do her damnedest to make what they had last.

"I do," Danny said, wiping her eyes as she finally looked up. "You're right. This is new for me and as great as he is, he's also just as damaged. His personal life is a lot and trying to deal with it all is hard and sometimes I don't know if I even can. I don't know if I'm strong enough too. I love him though......but that doesn't mean that I don't love you too Aubree. I promise I'll do better as your friend and I won't make you feel forgotten anymore. You're still my number one, babe."

Aubree chuckled softly and shook her head, sighing as she wrapped her arm around Danny's and pulled her along to the campus coffee shop.

"No I'm not Danny, but it's okay. When you're in love no one else can come between that. So I can wait until you have time for me. Just don't forget to have time alright?"

"I promise Aubree. No matter what happens with me and Ray, I'm never gonna forget what's happened between us too."

"Good. So! Moving onto a less serious topic, you didn't seriously think I wouldn't notice the hickey on your neck did you?"

"Well......."

"Oh my gosh Danny you slut!"

***********************************

"So did you handle everything?" Gage asked as he and Danny walked the streets towards his car.

Well, a car.

That he'd stolen.

So yeah, his car.

"Yeah. All my teachers have agreed to post everything online so I can just catch up when I get a chance. Aubree is satisfied and my parents are grumpy but they're understanding. I'm an adult and they get that I can do what I want when I want."

"I still don't get why you had check in with all of them anyway. Couldn't they have just figured it out eventually?" Gage grumbled and Danny could only grin.

"I check in because if the roles were switched I would want someone to check in with me too. If you or Ray ever go missing and you don't check in I'm not gonna know what to do with myself."

"Sweetheart my ass is too pretty to not be the center of attention. I aint going no where. And the only way Ray would go missing is if someone promised a pot of Daniela Grant at the end of the rainbow. You've got that man wrapped around your pinky finger."

"No I don't," Danny giggled, clinging to Gage as the cold wind picked up. Gage smiled softly and let her hold onto him as they walked.

There were a lot of things Gage had done and trying to get into the pants of some of the women who liked to cling to ray had been one of them. But even as they walked with Danny wrapped around his bicep and her head on his shoulder, he knew it was completely platonic. Gage liked Danny and thought she was hot as fuck, but he liked his position in her life as just a friend.

When they finally made it to the car both Danny and Gage were surprised to see a woman leaning against the black Camry with a cigarette hanging out the side of her mouth.

At first Gage was worried but then the woman turned and gave them her best attempt at a smile and he relaxed.

"Hey Row, what are you doing here?"

Rowan finished her cigarette before stomping it out and holding out her hand.

"I came to pick up Danny. We're having a girls days."

The area was so quiet if someone's stomach growled you would have been able to hear it. Gage's eyebrows were furrowed and his lips pulled together in a line. She couldn't see herself, but Danny was positive she looked just as confused.

"A what?" She mumbled. It's not like there was a real problem between the two of them, but Danny was certain she and Rowan weren't friends. Half the time she couldn't even figure out if Rowan liked her or not. And now she wanted to have a girls day? During the middle of everything that was going on?

"Well come on! Stop staring and just give me the keys!" Rowan fussed and Gage held his hands up in surrender and shook his head.

"Sorry Row, as much as I'd love to encourage your girly adventures, the big man will kill me if I let Danny outta my sight. What if someone shoots up the place your getting your nails done?"

"That's not gonna happen and Ray is the one who sent me anyway. He needs you back at Rico's to help with the plan. We're big girls Gage, we can handle ourselves."

Gage furrowed his eyebrows and glanced down at Danny. It was a convincing argument considering Gage did ask for Ray to involve him in the plan making, but he still wasn't sure. If he wanted to think about it though Rowan didn't give him the chance.

Rushing forward, she smiled her first genuine smile as she tackled Gage to the ground and stole his keys. "Go!" She screamed, pushing Danny towards the car.

"We'll be back before eight and we know not to talk to strangers and the parts of town to avoid. Thanks Gage, love ya!"

With a final wave, Rowan slid into the car and sped off as Gage ran into the street screaming after them. It was weird and probably a terrible idea to leave on their own, but even danny couldn't help but laugh as they sped off.

"He's gonna hate us forever,' she chuckled, watching Gage through the back mirror.

Rowan grinned. "Nah, he'll be okay."

"So, did Ray really send you or are you kidnapping me too now?"

"Oh it's totally a kidnapping," Rowan shrugged, glancing at Danny briefly before focusing on the road again. "Ray's gonna flip his shit but I needed a break from all the testosterone and considering you're the only other person without a penis, I figured why not."

"So you were serious when you said you just wanted a girls day?" Danny asked, a little disbelieving still. Rowan didn't seem like the 'girls day' type and, again, was now really the time to do it? "I don't even have any money."

"You don't but your boyfriend does. And I just happen to have his back up card. Danny, girl, maybe this got skipped in the big 'I'm dating a murderer' reveal, but Ray makes more money than all of us combined. Even Rico doesn't make as much as Ray. Your boyfriend is stacked sweetheart."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. He's a hitman but he's also pretty high up in the ranking. He's a Capo so he's supposed to be in charge of a group of men and they carry out whatever orders and stuff Sammy gives. He also handles a lot of the money and stuff, kinda like a treasurer."

"I didn't know that."

"That's because he doesn't do much now. He doesn't like being in charge of people because if they don't do it like he wants, he gets annoyed easily. That and all the men are typically older so they start shit because their ego is bruised. Gage is pretty much the only one he hasn't dismissed or beat their ass. Now all the things he would usually spread out between a group of men he just does himself. As far as the money goes Ray only stopped that because, again, people started getting on his nerves. He was good at it though. In school most subjects were hard for him, but he's always been a genius with numbers."

"So instead of killing people Ray can really just stop and focus back on handling money then, right? He wouldn't loose his ranking and he's good at it! Because people annoy you isn't a good enough excuse to just stop, that's always gonna happen no matter what you do!" Danny said, hopeful of their outcome. Ray said he killed to survive but if what Rowan was saying was true, then maybe killing got him to the top but it didn't have to be what kept him there!

Rowan chuckled softly and shook her head. "Maybe if this were a few month's ago you could have convince him of that, but once this is over who knows if there's even gonna be a Mafia to manage."

************************************

Two hours later Danny's nails and toes were both done, she had a completely new and different hairstyle, and she had bags full of clothes that she would have never even blinked at had she been with anyone other than Rowan.

The day had seemed normal at first but she knew when she not only died but cut her hair as well that the girls day had not just been for fun, but for neccesity. Until they figured out what to do Danny was gonna have to become unrecognizable and the new hair style was just the first step.

It bummed her out in the beginning, but she tried not to focus on it and instead just have fun away from all the bullets and tension.

"This is so good," Rowan moaned as she took a bite from the bowl of ice cream she was eating. Ray had been blowing Roman's phone up all day pissed that they weren't back yet so Danny knew they'd be leaving soon, but for now they were enjoying their last bit of freedom.

And that's really what it was.

Once they got back neither one of them would be allowed to do much. It was just the facts of the situation that naturally they were seen as the weakest links who needed to be coddled and protected and away from everything else.

It sucked but, again, there wasn't much Danny could do about it.

They ate in silence for a while longer before Danny looked up. Rowan hadn't been overly friendly today but she hadn't been mean either. Earlier she said Danny was her only escape from the guys, and now Danny was realizing Rowan was her only escape too.

She couldn't talk to Aubree, she couldn't talk to Ray, and it's not like she could talk to her parents either.

What would she even say? 'Hey mom, hey dad. I just found out my boyfriend is a murderer and you know, I love him, but I'm a tad bit uncomfortable with it. Any advice?'

"Just ask it," Rowan sighed, rolling her eyes when Danny did nothing but stare in confusion. All day the younger girls head had been in the clouds and a little frown was on her pouty lips. Rowan knew the conversation was coming and she was ready to get it out of the way.

"Ask what?"

"Ask it! If I think you should still be with Ray, go ahead, ask me."

"Rowan I-"

"We all know you've been thinking since you found out. I'm not judging, just ask."

"Fine," Danny sighed, "do you think I should still be with Ray?"

Finishing her ice cream, Rowan took her time before shrugging and folding her arms over the table. She'd never been the one to sugar coat anything and she wasn't going to do it now either.

"Do you know who Jeremiah Cortell is?"

"Umm....no."

"Yeah, no one does anymore," Rowan mumbled and even though she didn't say anything or pause to reflect, Danny could see a flash of hurt in her eyes. "When I was younger my parents were shit. I probably should have stayed in the house trying to make the best of it and help Ray get through it, but even before I became a prostitute I was always running the streets. I'd do anything just to be away from home.

"A lot of the time while I was out with friends or just by myself even I'd walk by this park and there was this guy there damn near everyday. He wasn't doing anything but playing basketball, maybe smoking a joint everynow and then, but seriously there wasn't anything special about him. Sure he was cute, but so we're other boys. So wed make eye contact, and then keep doing what we were doing. No big deal.

One day though when I left, my dad was drunk and followed me. We got into an argument near the park and he just start wailing on me. He was cussing me out, calling me a bitch and a whore, and then he just start hitting me. There weren't many people around but those who were just stood there an watched. I wasn't surprised. I know the people in neighborhood, so I didn't expect anything different. But in the midst of all that I saw Jeremiah watching and for the first time, I begged my dad to stop. I don't know why it was such a big deal but I didn't care who saw or what they thought just....just not him. He was the only person I didn't want to see me like that....."

"So what happened?" Danny whispered, surprised rowan wasn't breaking down yet because Danny was on the edge of her seat and holding back tears and it wasn't even her story.

"Once my dad was done he just kinda stood there over me catching his breath. Everyone had walked away by now and I thought Jeremiah had too but then here he comes, no older than fifteen and no no taller than my dads shoulders, and he just taps my dad on the back and then, when he turns around, punches him smack dab in the face. Jeremiah reenacts the entire thing. Every word my father screamed to me, he screamed ten times louder and with twice the hate. Every hit or punch or smack my dad gave me, Jeremiah did it a thousand times harder. He literally treated my father the exact way he treated me and then, when my dad was on the ground crying about his wounds and begging him to stop, Jeremiah stood over him catching breath. And then he left."

"Did you ever see him again after that?"

"Of course I did! Before I'd leave the house just to leave, after that I left to go see Jeremiah. We dated for a while, argued a lot, and we're basically two love struck teens who were both too fucked up to really work. So we didn't. He went to the army for a while and I thought I'd never see him again so I became a whore. Time passed and things changed but he's still the only man I'll ever really love. It's just....harder now.

When Jeremiah came back the army had really messed him up. He was already crazy before he left and I guess everything that happened overseas just pushed him to the edge. He changed his entire identity to that of a man who he watched die. Jeremiah Cortell died and in his place was Rico Vernandez. He's so paranoid he's convinced people are watching him even when he's sleeping, his nightmares are so bad he screams until he looses his voice, any loud noise has him on edge, and every now and then you can catch him talking to people who aren't really there. He's crazy and on a bad day he's dangerous. And trust me, he has more bad then good. So, even though I still love him to death and I know he loves me, even though I've got a fucking kid by him, he pretends I don't exists. He won't let me get close to him and he won't let me love him. The only time I can even get him to look me in the eyes or say hello to his daughter is on one of his good days."

Rowans voice trailed off some and Danny took the lull in conversation to wipe her eyes. It seemed every story Rowan told was a sad one and this one may have topped the cake. She couldn't imagine being in love with such a broken man and not being able, or even given the opportunity, to help him.

"Stop crying Danny. I've gotten over it and you will too. The point is, whether you should or shouldn't be with Ray isn't the question. If he really loves you- and I know he does -he's gonna push you away. He's gonna try to shield you from all the bad and danger that comes with him. Thats how men are. They try to protect everything. Even if in the end all it does is hurt."

<3

Hey guys! So it's Friday as usual so I hope you enjoy the update! Just to let you know I'm going to start editing this book as it comes closer to the end. I don't know if that will notify editors chapters as updated or not but just in case, new chapters are only on Friday's! Any other chapter that updates on another day is just an editors chapter. Btw I'd recommend following me if you want to keep up with post about this story or others I may write that spin off this story *wink *wink*