"Woke up in tears, with you by my side

                Breath of relief and I realize we're not promised tomorrow."

Finally finished with Valeria's last present I took a breath of relief, as I looked at the final product. It was a denim jacket that I had bought and decided to get creative with. I figured that if I knew Valeria at all, I knew that she'd be happier if I made something personalized for her than gave her something store-bought. So I knitted patches all over the jacket, a yellow rose for her favorite color, a mic and a piano representing her love for music, a cupcake so she could always remember me, her name stretched over the back widely, and a bunch of little miscellaneous things I figured she'd adore. I wanted to make our first Christmas together special, something memorable especially after everything we'd both gone through this year. Though the jacket took way longer than I imagined, I managed to finish it in time.

Valeria had just texted me thirty seconds ago letting me know that she'd be here soon, insisting we exchange presents at my place because her place was too wild this time of the year. I was disappointed because seeing the girls were always fun but I agreed with her. Technically, it wasn't Christmas yet, it was Christmas eve, but all things considered, my mom had insisted we stay with family this year, indicating a big fat chance we didn't see each other tomorrow.

 Lily had also been keen on hosting a "friendsmas" as she and Lucas insisted on calling it, today at her place. So Valeria planned to exchange presents and go over to Lily's together once we were finished. She had been super secretive about her present, trust me I'd tried to pry it out of her, but she had stayed silent, sadly, so had Lily. I hoped everything was going to be perfect, mom was out doing her errands for people at the hospital she wanted to give presents to and Lily had bribed Jay to come early and help her get everything set up, though, I doubt how true that was considering Lily has an entire staff to do that. Nevertheless, I didn't want to think about what else the two could possibly be doing.

Wrapping Val's present the best I could, I put it to the side with the rest of her presents. In the far pile of the room lied Lily's. Yup. Lucas had the brilliant idea to do a secret Santa this year within our friend group, needless to say, everyone had agreed. So a couple of weeks ago we picked names out of a hat and set the budget for anything under 100 bucks. That was a problem all on its own because I got Lily, of all people. She got everything she wanted, never had to ask twice, and though that was usually a good thing, I had struggled for a long time to figure out what to get her. I couldn't even ask Valeria, because apparently, there's a rule in the activity where you can't tell anyone in your group who you got. It was a pain. 

Then about 3 nights ago, amidst stressing about her gift and making Valeria's, the perfect idea dawned on me. I stayed up all night making it and hoping to God she liked it because, to be honest, it was all I could think of. It was a blessing in disguise, the secret Santa, it meant that I didn't need to get anyone else in the group a gift because this covered it. Besides Valeria, of course.

Ding! I picked up my phone to see who had texted me and my eyebrows shot up in surprise when I saw it was none other than Maddie. Though we had somewhat solved our problems and put our differences aside in pranking V, we still rarely talked to each other. Every time I went over there, she'd always be in her room, or if for some reason she was downstairs, she'd be eerily quiet sketching.

 She knew about Valeria's present, but of course, she wouldn't be Maddie if she showed even a speck of interest in it. Cupcake had mentioned a couple days ago to me, how Maddie had been looking into when her dad was coming out of prison. Honestly, I didn't know her entire story but I knew enough. Enough to understand that Maddie looking into that type of stuff was as bad of a thing as their father was a person. I knew Valeria was concerned, but I'm pretty sure there's nothing we can do about it but wait for her to confront us.

Maddie: Merry Christmas Eve...I still don't like you :))). V's on her way, I hope whatever you have planned is good.

I smirked, shaking my head at the text, and responded with a just as interesting response.

Me: Merry Christmas Mads...who said I liked you? Jk, V would have my a**. Happy Holidays, M.

Setting my phone down I climbed onto my bed, laying there, just thinking about this past year. These last 12 months, I had cut almost everyone out of my life, shielding myself from hurt, I had seen my dad again after a while, I had found a job but sacrificed my passion for it, my migraine problem had gotten worse, but I had also met one of the most wonderful people in my entire life. Someone who could make me smile wider than ever, someone who's meadowy green eyes was a forest I often found myself lost in. Her mind had trees surrounding it and I was always running and running after her, but never able to catch her. That's the thing with Valeria, no matter how hard anyone tries, she's always there to surprise you with the unexpected. Doing the impossible was her goal, what she worked towards.

After her, I'd changed, reverting back to someone I could stand being around. My mom had been cured, I'd met girls who I knew would forever now be apart of my life. My stepsister had crawled into my life and I loved her to death now. My dad had wiggled his way back into my life, and as much as I'd rather be caught dead than admitting it, I was glad he had. Everything had changed, but I wasn't mad about it. Sometimes change, even if it's bad, can be made good by surrounding yourself with people that love you and people you love. That's what I'd done. Jayden, Valeria, Parker, Lily, Lucas. They weren't just people I hung out with, they knew me, all of me, the good and the bad. They were my people; the ones who made life worth living. All of them were people I didn't know how to be myself without. They were my family.

A small smile had spread across my face, and I was about to get up when the doorbell rang when a sudden sharp pain hit the back of my head. I groaned clutching at it, it felt like someone was taking a sharp cut edge knife and poking my head with it. I screamed, I couldn't take it, my migraines were bad. But never this bad. My eyes closed as I slipped into the unknown oblivion of a dark abyss, as my head hit the ground.

____________________________________________________

The next time I woke up, I was in my bed but my head was laying on someone's lap, and cool fingers were running through my hair. I tried to remember what happened, but all I could recall was a really bad migraine, I figured I'd probably passed out. That's when I felt a cool water drop on my forehead, but it wasn't water. I looked up to see Valeria's figure, her hands running through my hair, but her body was racking shaking with sobs. I immediately sat up, wondering what made her cry. But sitting up wasn't my brightest idea, I groaned again as the sharp subsiding pain hit the side of my head. Blinking through the pain, my vision gradually cleared.

Likely, feeling my movement, she looked up, relief dawning on her face and before I knew it she had pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. Her hands going around my neck and mine automatically, as if it was natural, wrapping around her waist. Body still shaking, while we rocked gently back and forth on my bed. My hands tangled and untangled in her mass of brunette hair. Valeria's hair was beautiful, a brunette mass of gorgeous endless locks that reached up to her mid-back; though, she often wore it up, I adored it when she let her waves loose. I was confused and desperate for answers, my mind filled with a plethora of questions, but if I knew Valeria, I knew she needed to calm down before I ask her anything, that is if she doesn't tell me herself. Her soft whisper penetrated a peaceful silence that was before filled with her sobs and occasional sniffs.

"Kayden. Do you have any idea what you just put me through bubs?" she queried, her green eyes floating in a pool of tears which I caused, and boy, did I hate that. I shook my head, genuinely oblivious as to what had just occurred in the past thirty minutes. Gently taking her face in my hands I caressed her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs. Swiping the tears out from under her eyelids, I looked into her green eyes willing myself to get lost. I urged her to continue, picking up her hands and running my fingers through hers knowing she loved it when I did that.

"I mean, I found you lying on the ground passed out, your hands on your head. Figuring that it was your migraine problem, I tried looking for pills. Luck was not on my side, so I didn't have any. I had no idea what to do. I was so scared I was so so insanely scared, Kay, I don't think you understand. I went into full panic mode, I pulled you on to the bed and called Jayden. The rest is history. I was crying because of the thought of losing you; 

Kay you know of all people, how much I hate feeling helpless, but with you just now, that's exactly how I felt that. Unable to do anything to wake you up, Jayden just said you'd wake up soon. But when was soon? Five minutes, ten minutes, an hour? I just, not knowing and not being able to do anything." 

I cut her off by pulling her into a long, loving kiss. Just to let her know that I was scared too. Just to demonstrate how much I understood her misery. Just to show her how sorry I was for even unintentionally putting her through something like that. Pulling away, I noticed she was breathless, chuckling at the effect of her lack of physical activity clearly showing.

"I'm sorry princess, I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I can apologize for putting you through that today. I wasn't expecting it, everything's been going okay for a while. Nothing's been happening to me, so I don't know I just forgot about it. But that--that was bad, V, I mean I haven't passed out because of a migraine in a while. I just hope that it was a one time thing, that's really all I can do." I lied. 

Actually, I'd passed out multiple times in the last couple of months, just never near her. There had been a myriad of times Jay had come in to see me lying still, eyes closed, heart rate, scary. In fact, the problem had taken such a cruciality that my mother had forced me to the doctor, who gave me medicine. I accepted it, knowing my mother would make me take it against my will if I didn't, but that doesn't mean I swallowed it. The first time I did, the side effects were mood swings, I was rude to everyone, shutting myself out. What was the point of taking medicine to make me better if I couldn't feel like myself once I did. But if I told any of this to Valeria, she wouldn't stand for it, and I can't be shaken on this topic, I refuse to be played mind games with and lose my true self. I'd rather suffer a few times a week, than hurt myself and others by taking the damned medicine.

I tucked a soft stray strand of her gorgeous auburn hair behind her ear, once again losing myself in her wanderlusting meadowy eyes. She shivered then leaned into my touch, inflating my ego a little, but she had no idea the effect she had on me every time she appeared before my eyes. One month, and my heart still beats a little faster at the sight of her beauty, one month, and my stomach still releases butterflies at the thought of her, one month, and my mind works its own when I'm near her, one month, and I can still never take my eyes off of her. I had never felt this way before, that scared me, but neither had she, and that inspired me, to not only be the first one but also the last one.

_______________________________________________________________

A/N: Hiiii. It's 2021!! Happy New Year ya'll. Thanks for making 2020 so much better for us by supporting and reading our book. It's means the world. We have so much more coming this year, and we can't wait to share it all with you guys. 

QOTC: What are your goals/resolutions for the year?

Share. Comment. Vote. Follow. Please? 

We love you guys to the moon and back. 

Signing off for now,