thirty-nine;

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"I'm fine," I say for the umpteenth time. "Really, I am. I just blew a few stitches."

Alex doesn't look convinced. He crosses his arms over his chest and glowers disapprovingly at me. "You pushed yourself too hard."

I roll my eyes, but deep down I know he's right. Why did I have to be so stubborn?

Dr. Ludwig wasn't very impressed with me either when she had to restitch my incision. She wore a similar expression to the one Alex is wearing when she put me on strict bed rest. And just like that, my plan to be up and out of here as soon as possible vanished.

I fiddle with the edge of the scratchy blanket draped over my legs, chewing my lower lip thoughtfully. Is now an okay time to bring up our conversation from the elevator?

The sound of metal scraping against the floor breaks me from my thoughts, and I look up to find Alex dragging a chair closer to my bed. He flips it around and sits on it backwards, laying his arms over the back of it.

"Lizzie is in town," he says, swiping his thumb over his bruised lip. It's looking better since the first time I saw it. The cut has scabbed over completely, and the bruising has lightened to a faint greenish yellow.

"She knows what happened then," I reply slowly.

"Yeah, I told her the gist of it." He cocks his head to the side and studies my face, searching for any clues that I might be upset. "I didn't expect her to fly out here."

"It's okay. What you saw was probably really...fucked up." I wrinkle my nose as the curse word leaves my lips. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. "It was probably pretty traumatizing," I add with a dry laugh.

"Traumatizing?" He echoes, testing out the sound of the word. "For me?"

"Well, yeah. You had to witness someone being assaulted."

Alex shakes his head with a sigh. "The only part of what happened that might've been 'traumatizing' was the fact that you were the one that fucker had his hands on, Mabes."

"Oh."

"Yeah oh. I mean, it would've sucked to see something like that either way...but when it's someone you love..." he trails off, his eyes glazing over. "I just lost it on him."

My heart flutters erratically in my chest, announcing itself on the monitor beside my bed. Alex seems to notice it too, and he shoots me a concerned, yet puzzled, look.

"Are you okay?"

Heat spreads from my chest to my cheeks, and I lower my eyes to the blanket again. "Y-yeah, I'm good."

"Is it about what I said?" He asks, and I can tell by his tone that he's fighting back a smile.

"Which time?" The words leave my lips before I can stop them.

"Hmm...both?"

I fidget with the blanket, curling it around my fingers over and over again. "A little," I admit.

Alex places one of his hands over mine, keeping them still. He squeezes them gently, silently urging me to look up. When I do, I'm met with the most sincere expression I've ever seen on him. His brown eyes are warm and hold a depth of feeling I'm sure I've only scratched the surface of.

"I do love you, Mabes. You mean more to me than I ever thought possible. When you left, I realized a lot about myself. Realized how lost I was before you ever came into my life. You made me a helluva better person just by being...well, you. And I know I should've told you a long time ago, back when I first realized that I was in love with you, but I was too chicken shit." His eyes widen, almost as though he can't believe what he's saying. "Goddamn, that was really fucking cheesy."

I choke back a laugh, slipping one of my hands back out from beneath his to assist in keeping the laugh from escaping.

Alex narrows his eyes at me, a playful smirk twisting his lips. "You're laughing at me."

"I'm not...I promise," I reply between giggles. "I'm just nervous. You're making me nervous."

"I make you nervous?" His smile widens, causing his dimples to appear in his cheeks. "I missed that laugh."

My cheeks burn even brighter. "That's not helping."

A soft knock echoes from across the room and then Aunt Jo breezes past the door, holding a takeout bag tightly in one hand. She pauses briefly mid-step at the sight of Alex, and then continues inside with a small smile.

"I leave for a few hours and you pull a stunt like that, Mabel Mae?" She clucks her tongue disapprovingly and shakes her head at me. "Tsk tsk, young lady."

"I said the same thing," Alex pipes in.

"Would you guys stop?" I whine. "It's not like I tried to blow my stitches."

"No, what you apparently tried to do is give me a heart attack," she says. Her tone is teasing, but concern still shines in her green eyes. "Now, I think it's about time you introduce me to this man you seem to have wrapped around your finger."

God, this is embarrassing.

Alex seems to be eating this up though. There's now a mischievous glint in his dark eyes as he watches the exchange between Jo and I.

"Auntie, this is Alex. Alex, Josephine."

"If I was twenty years younger..." she murmurs, giving him a once over.

"Auntie!" I complain loudly.

She waves me off. "Oh stop, you know I love your uncle."

Alex gives her his best smile, and I swear my aunt melts to a pile of goo on the floor.

Are you kidding me? I want to bury myself under the blanket and hide from the embarrassment.

"Here, hun," Jo says, holding out the takeout bag to me. "Your work sent you a goodie bag."

I mumble a quick thank you and then peek inside the brown paper bag, smiling to myself when I look over its contents. Hazel must have been at least partially responsible because a slice of the chocolate mouse pie has been packed neatly inside. I make a mental note to thank her later, along with my boss Diane, and place the bag on the tray beside me.

"I wanted to drop it off before it spoiled in my rental car," Jo admits sheepishly. "I almost don't want to go and finish my errands though. I mean, look what happened last time."

I duck my head to avoid her pointed look. It's the look. The one all mothers are capable of wearing. I've seen Alex's mom give him the very same stare.

"They have her on fifteen minute checks for the first few hours," Alex tells her. "She's not going anywhere. Especially while I'm here."

Jo makes a satisfied noise in the back of her throat. "Then I'll be back in a few hours." She places a kiss on the top of my head before she leaves, and once she's gone I turn back to Alex.

"You don't have to stay. Isn't an important time for hockey?" The Frozen Four. I've heard Alex mention the championship game a few times in passing. It has to be coming up somewhat soon, right?

He waves me off, but lowers his gaze to the floor. "Screw hockey, Mabes. I've already missed too many practices, there's no chance in hell that Coach will let me play in another game this season."

My skin prickles with anger. "You what? Alex, why would you miss that much?"

He gives me a dubious look, silently asking "Are you serious?"

"I realize that I scared you, that what my attacker did scared you, but you shouldn't have put your entire life on hold because of me," I murmur.

His eyes darken, narrowing in my direction. A muscle in his jaw ticks, and I can tell that what I've said has upset him.

"I just told you I love you not even ten minutes ago, and now you're kicking me out. Seriously?" His voice sounds strained, and his hands ball into fists over the back of the chair. "How could I have just continued on with my classes and hockey practices when I didn't even know if you were even going to wake up? You asked me to stay earlier Mabes, and now what? You changed your mind already?"

My throat feels tight. Like there's a lump there that won't go down no matter how many times I try and swallow. This isn't where I thought this conversation would go. I was trying to fix things between us, not push him away.

"What do you want from me, Mabes?" He asks in a pained tone. Rejection and hurt now mix with his anger. "You can't have it both ways. You can't push me away but still want me close. It doesn't make sense. You don't make any sense."

"I just want you to be happy..." I trail off in a small voice.

"Really? You sure aren't making it seem that way," he scoffs. "Do you not want me here, is that it?"

"No, that's not it."

"Then what?"

I take a breath to gather my thoughts. "I just don't want you giving things up for me."

"Who says I'm doing that?" Alex demands irritably. "Skipping out on practice and my classes was my decision. You didn't ask me to and neither did anyone else."

"But—"

He holds up a hand to cut me off. "Do you want me in your life, Mabes?"

I nod, feeling tears prick my eyes. I blink them away quickly before they can fall.

"Why?" He asks gently.

"Because...because I love you."

He leans closer, his gaze flickering down to my mouth. "Yeah? And what do you suppose we do about that?"

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He finally said it!
It only took almost 40 chapters... 😂😭

The next update will be on THURSDAY!

I've gotten quite a bit of feedback about the "announcement" a few chapters back and it seems like you guys are interested in Hazel and Lizzie's stories.
BT is nearly finished and man has it been a wild ride. I never thought it would gain as much attention as it has, and I'll be forever grateful for you guys as readers.
Your votes and comments make my day and give me motivation to keep this story going until the end.
So seriously, thank you.
Lots of love,
Kat ❤️

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