Chapter Seventeen

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

Lori cornered me the second I got in the front door. "There you are," she hissed, grabbing my arm. She glanced upstairs, and raised her voice to normal speaking level. "Good day at school?"

I stared dumbly back at her. She knew I hadn't been at school.

Lori made a frantic gesture with her eyebrows.

"Um . . . yeah, it was fine," I said, still not catching on.

Lori pulled me into the kitchen and closed the door behind us. Her eyes were huge. "Holy shit, kid, where have you been? The school called and said you disappeared."

I shot a glance at the kitchen door, expecting Dad to burst in and demand answers.

"He doesn't know," said Lori, reading my stare. "The school couldn't get hold of him, so they called me. I told them I'd pass the message on to him. Obviously I'm not going to, but where were you? Are you okay?"

When I was with Kell? Yes.

When I was at home? No.

I gave a noncommittal shrug. "I just didn't feel like school today."

She gaped back at me, her forehead starting to furrow. "Since when do you not feel like school?"

"Since today."

"So you just . . . left?"

"Yeah."

"Alone?"

Something about the way she asked it made me think she already knew – or at least suspected.

"I was with Kell," I said, jutting out my chin and daring her to judge me.

But she didn't. She just gave a slow nod, like she was processing this. "Okay," she said. "Is there anything I should know about?" She bit her lip. "Are you being safe?"

"I'm not sleeping with him." It came out sharper than I meant it to, and Lori recoiled.

"Okay, but if you think things might head that way, you know I'm here if you need help or advice, or anything," she said. Her expression crumpled a little. "I don't want you making the same mistakes I did."

There was no chance of that.

I had seen Lori drunk, high, screaming and red-faced with rage, and that had hurt, but nothing had been more painful than when she'd given her baby up for adoption. Nothing had torn at my heart as badly as hearing her muffled sobs behind her bedroom door, for weeks after it happened.

No matter how reckless I got, or how much I wanted to try new things, I would not do anything to end up in that position.

"There's nothing to worry about," I said, forcing a bright smile to my face.

I had the sudden urge to talk to Lori, to tell her about the anger that always seemed to be simmering beneath my skin these days, about the storm in my head, about the way I was starting to hate Dad for what he was doing, but I didn't say a word.

Lori was finally getting her life back on track.

She did not need me dumping my problems all over her.

I'd told myself before that I needed to be strong enough for both of us, and that still stood, even if I had to keep reminding myself of it.

So I squared my shoulders and smiled and pretended that nothing was wrong, and inside I was just counting down the time until I could see Kell again.





But Kell wasn't at school the next day.

I didn't think too much of it at first.

There were plenty of reasons he wouldn't be here.

Maybe he was sick.

Maybe he didn't feel like coming in, and he was down at our special spot. I was a little hurt that he'd go there without me, but maybe he needed space from me too sometimes.

Or maybe . . . maybe something had happened to his mum.

I texted him twice, but he didn't respond. I tried calling him at lunchtime, but he didn't answer.

None of my friends appeared to be talking to me, so I had nothing to distract me from the gnawing knot of worry forming in my stomach.

Even if his mum was fine, something could still be wrong.

What if Greylock had suspended him again, or finally expelled him for good? It seemed unlikely, considering this was hardly his first offence.

I hadn't been punished at all for skipping school. It turned out that Lori had pulled the dying mum card, and that was enough to keep the school from following up on anything. Lori insisted that they had been very understanding about the whole thing, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Of course I was happy to avoid punishment, but I couldn't help thinking that Kell wouldn't get the same leniency. No one else knew about his mum, so no one would know why he'd skipped school yesterday. So I came across as the tragic girl who'd simply needed a break, but Kell would be the troublemaker, all over again, and no one would care to delve any deeper.

But he wasn't in school the next day, either, and he still hadn't responded to my texts. When I tried calling him, his phone was turned off.

By now I was genuinely scared. I debated asking a teacher if there was some way of getting in contact with him, but that would mean explaining why I was so worried, and I couldn't do that. It wasn't my story to tell. Kell had kept his pain private from everyone all this time, and I would not be the one who spilled his secrets.

If only I knew where he lived, I'd be there in a shot, but I couldn't frigging remember his road. He'd only mentioned it once, and that seemed like forever ago.

It wasn't until I got home on that second day, my heart feeling like a rock in my chest, that it occurred to me there was someone else who might know.

Lori and David didn't like each other, but David's attitude towards her seemed to be based on her drug problems. Before that, they had attended Greylock for years together, and even though she had been in the year below him, that didn't mean their paths hadn't crossed in and out of school.

It was a long shot, but I had to take it.

I knocked on Lori's door.

"Hold on," came her muffled voice from inside.

A couple of beats later, she opened the door. I took a step back. Lori looked awful. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her face blotchy and swollen. Even before she spoke, I could hear how snuffly her breathing was.

"Are you okay?" I said.

Lori gripped the door with one hand, and I spotted a soggy wad of tissues in her fist. "I'm fine," she said, trying for a smile, but it looked all wrong on her tear-stained face.

"You don't look it."

She waved her other hand. "I'm fine, honestly. What do you need?"

I hesitated, torn between worry for Kell and worry for my sister. I wanted to help Lori, but fear for Kell felt like barbed wire tightening around my heart. If something had happened . . . if his mum was . . . I had to be there for him.

"Do you know where Kell lives?"

Lori blinked, surprised. "Sorry?"

Okay, it was a bit weird that I was asking my sister if she knew where my maybe-but-not-quite-boyfriend lived, because I didn't know myself. But Kell was so unhappy at home that I tried not to bring the subject up, and it wasn't like he would ever take me back there.

"Kell hasn't been in school the last couple of days, he's not answering calls or texts, and I'm getting worried. Do you know where he lives?"

"I think I do," Lori said.

"Think?"

"Do you remember I used to be friends with that Jessica girl? When I was about thirteen?"

I didn't, but I nodded anyway.

"Her brother was friends with David. I never went over there myself, but I know they live in Redbank Road. I think it was number 6." She frowned a little. "But it could have been 7."

"Okay, thank you."

Lori chewed her lip, her expression conflicted.

"What's wrong?" I said.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to go over there?"

"Probably not," I said honestly. "But I'm getting really worried about him, and I need to know if he's okay."

Lori's frown deepened. "What's the big deal? He's probably just off sick."

I pressed my lips together. I couldn't tell Lori, any more than I could tell anyone at school.

"Just be careful," Lori said, when it was clear I wasn't going to answer. "David can be . . ." She screwed up her mouth.

"Oh, believe me. I know exactly how David can be," I muttered darkly.

"Well, he's cut from the same cloth as his dad. Just be aware of that." Her face brightened. "I could come with you, if you like. Y'know, for moral support?"

"Thanks, but I need to do this by myself."

Kell and I had found each other because we understood each other. We were both fighting to climb out of the box that everyone else kept putting us in. He had trusted me enough to tell me about his mum, and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardise that trust. Even if it meant refusing help from my sister.

Lori deflated. "Okay, then. Good luck."

If I was going to confront David Rhodes and his dad, I had a feeling I was going to need it.





Redbank Road was about an eight minute walk from my house and as I made my way there, I couldn't shake the image of Lori's tear-stained face from my mind.

Considering that Mum was dying a little more each day, it was no surprise that Lori cried sometimes – I did too, but . . . all this time I had tried to be strong for Lori, so she could lean on me if she fell apart, but was I doing this all wrong?

What if she had needed me just then, but rather than helping her, I was chasing after Kell?

I didn't know.

All I knew was that I didn't want to be the person I had always been, but I wasn't sure who else I was, and that was making me lose sight of myself. Those times that I felt like I was slipping out my skin were starting to scare me, because it was as if I would just float away and become nothing.

I didn't know who I was.

Except when I was with Kell.

When I was with Kell, I felt strong enough to handle anything.

He was a ray of sunshine pushing the clouds away.

He was the one smile in a sea of indifferent faces.

I felt right when I was with him.

If I was drowning, and he was drowning, then we would hold onto each other until we were strong enough to swim.

The thought that he was pulling away from me now, that he was starting to sink and I wasn't there to hold him up, made me want to be sick.

So when I got to his house – assuming it was the right house – even with Lori's warning ringing in my ears, I didn't hesitate. I marched right up the wide driveway and knocked on the white double doors.

The house was bigger than mine, an old Victorian redbrick with stained-glass panels set into those double-doors, and plants in big stone pots outside. No one who looked at Kell would think he came from money. He always looked so dishevelled, both in and out of uniform, but if this was the right house, the Rhodes' had more money than my family, and we weren't exactly poor. But of course they were rich. Greylock only opened its doors to people who could pay its eye-watering fees.

David answered the door, and he did an actual double-take at the sight of me standing there. Then he crossed both arms over his chest, standing in the doorway and making it very clear, without saying a word, that I wasn't invited inside.

That was fine by me. I was just glad to be in the right place.

"Are you here to pay me back the money you stole?" David said, giving me a contemptuous once-over.

"I didn't steal your money." I gave him a sweet smile. "But I did drink the champagne that was bought with it, and it was delicious, thank you."

He gave me a glare that would have sent Perfect Laini Lewis scurrying for cover. "Kell's not here," he snapped.

My stomach plunged, and the smile vanished from my face. "He's not? But he hasn't been in school for two days."

Too late, I realised that I shouldn't have said that part out-loud. Then again, what difference did it make? David already had his opinions about Kell, and a couple more missed days of school wouldn't make things worse.

David snorted. "As if that's remotely unusual."

"But . . ." How could I explain how worried I was to someone who didn't give a damn?

David rolled his eyes. "Look, he does this sometimes. He just drops off the face of the map, and I don't have a clue where he goes. He's probably getting drunk or high, like the loser he is, and he'll come crawling back when he runs out of money. You should do yourself a favour and forget about him. He's not worth it."

The simmering anger under my skin reached full boil.

"Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why Kell does the things he does?" I snapped, my hands curling into fists. I put them behind my back so I wouldn't be tempted to smack that arrogant, self-righteous look off David's face. "Maybe if his big brother didn't spend all his time putting him down, and telling him how worthless he is, then he would never have felt the need to get attention by acting up. He would never have ended up going down a bad road."

Kell was trying, but no one ever have him a chance.

David had no idea where Kell was, if he was okay, if he was in trouble, and he really didn't seem to care.

What would have happened to Lori if I had given up on her? She probably wouldn't have been able to put her life back together. It was the support of her family that had saved her from addiction, and even though Kell wasn't an addict, he still needed someone to help him. And he didn't have that – not here, anyway.

David seemed lost for words, and the anger drained out of me as quickly as it had come. Now I was just tired.

"How's your mum?" I asked.

David's entire body language changed – his arms dropped to his sides, and his eyebrows shot into his hairline. "What? How do you know about that?"

"Because Kell told me."

David gaped at me, his mouth flapping open like a fish.

"Oh wow." I shook my head. "You thought he wouldn't tell anyone. You thought he should just deal with this all by himself, because he sure as hell isn't getting any support at home, is he? Maybe you can get over yourself long enough to realise that all Kell has ever needed is for someone to treat him like he matters."

I left then, before I could say anything else. Before the tears that were crowding behind my eyes could fall. I would not let David Rhodes see me cry.

I glanced back just once as I left. David was still standing in the open doorway, arms hanging by his sides, his face the picture of bewilderment.

It was unlikely that anything I had said would get through, but I didn't regret saying it.





The next obvious place to look was our special spot. Maybe I should have gone there first but it was unlikely that he would have spent two days hiding out in the park. All the same, my heart felt buoyed up with hope as I sidestepped joggers and dog-walkers, and hurried towards that faded medieval arch that marked the entrance to our world away from everything. If I wished it hard enough, maybe I'd find him here, all messy hair and charcoal lashes and rumpled clothes, smoking and flipping that lighter between his fingers.

But our spot was empty, and my heart deflated.

"Goddamnit, Kell. I can't stop you from drowning if I don't know where you are," I muttered, raking a hand through my hair.

Where else would he go?

Would he stay with a friend?

Then it hit me, and it was so obvious that I actually slapped my own forehead.

Of course he would stay with a friend – he'd told me that. He'd told me that he had a place to crash for those days when he couldn't bear to be at home, and that must be where he was now. I was so worried about him that I actually couldn't think straight.

But I still didn't know where he was.

Pulling out my phone, I texted him. Then I texted him again. And again. I called him. The phone was ringing this time, but still he didn't answer. I left a voicemail, begging him to let me know he was okay. I texted again.

Something was wrong, I could feel it. Kell had been there for me, and I hated that I wasn't there for him, even if it was only because he wouldn't let me.

Frustration bubbled inside me, and I resisted the urge to kick something.

Why was he shutting me out?

Didn't he understand that I was here for him, no matter what he needed?

And then finally, my phone chimed with a new message. Kell, at last.

I'm okay, was all it said.

I ground my teeth together. "Not helpful, Kell," I muttered.

I texted him back, asking where he was.

No response.

I tried again, and this time he texted back, with an address.

I closed my eyes with relief.

Thank you.





The address Kell had given me was a couple of miles outside the city itself, in a cramped area of housing estate where the buildings were all squashed up against each other, separated by narrow strips of road and pavement. I followed the map on my phone to the heart of the estate, and then my feet faltered.

Kell was staying here?

The house in front of me was a small, grubby thing tucked away at the end of a terraced row. At the front was a concrete drive; in it was a rusting car, two overflowing bins, and a sea of empty beer bottles, cans, and cigarette butts. Sunshine dully glinted off a couple of foil condom wrappers. Weeds poked up through cracks in the concrete and gaps in the battered wooden fence that stood on each side of the drive, and there was a dirty footprint on the plastic front door, as if someone had kicked it.

Maybe there was a bit of snob in me, but this was the last place I'd expected to find him.

But he was here.

I knocked on the front door.

It was a moment or two before someone answered, and when the door opened, I fell back a pace.

Warren blinked at me from the doorway, and then a smile of recognition spread across his face. "Hey, girl from the party." He clicked his fingers. "Laini, right?"

"Right," I said automatically, my mind whirring.

The last time I'd seen Warren he'd practically threatened Kell and now, what? They were friends again?

"You remember me?" Warren said, leaning against the doorframe.

"Yes."

He smirked. "'Course you do. I'm memorable like that."

"Yeah, sure. Is Kell here?"

Warren's smile was getting wider. "Nice uniform," he said.

I glanced down at my green skirt and white shirt, neatly knotted tie, and blazer. So I hadn't had time to change. Who cared?

"You look like one of those anime girls from Japanese porn," Warren said.

I rolled my eyes. "Are you going to stop fucking around and tell me where Kell is?"

Maybe I should have watched my tone around him – he had squared up to Kell at that party, and I had no idea what kind of person he was.

But Warren just chuckled, scratching his head. "He's upstairs."

"Is he okay?"

The laughter faded from Warren's face. "He's been better."

He almost sounded like he cared.

I pushed past him without waiting for an invitation.

The house was no better inside. I found myself in a small kitchen with mismatched cabinets – two of which were missing doors – a fridge with food-stains running down it, and a fraying linoleum floor. It smelled of stale curry and cigarettes.

"Second door on the left," Warren said, coming up behind me.

I probably should have thanked him, but my jaw seemed to be frozen shut.

Why was Warren here? Was it his house?

My heart sank.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net