Went on a trip to see my new baby nephew. That is why this update is late. So, now, back to your program of "Whose Mate Were They Anyway?"What happens after the fight? What do Neara's males think of Shay? There's probably some learning in here and a suspension of belief, but if that's the craziest thing about this story... you tuned in too late.

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Neara stalked to the wall and hit the stone with her fists. It felt good, the grit of the wall collecting on her palms, and she hit again. Her hands stung. She punched it again and again, her knuckles cracked and bleeding, the bright red on the stones providing a target. Her hands ached and she continued to hit, continued to hurt, continued to bleed, until Orson wrapped his arms around her. "I heard."

"It's not even that she wants to go, Orson." Her stiff voice cracked so often, she felt surprised it didn't break. "It's that she won't even consider staying..."

"She has to do what's best for her family." He held her and didn't try to turn her around. They both stood in front of the wall and looked over the snowy fields, spotted with dark brown. "And you have your own to worry about."*

"You're just going to take them away..."

"For their own good. This is the way the Sheep Clan has done things for hundreds of years. They will grow better when they are raised by a village, and not two people." His grip tightened. "Don't think I don't love them, because I do, and it is because I love them that I let them go."

"Why do we have to let go and Shay gets to keep hers? Why am I crazy for saying what her mates have been saying all along? What she's been saying..."

"Our truth is hard to recognize when it comes from another's mouth. My mother used to say that when I'd get pissed at her, or my brothers." He chuckled softly. "Which was often."

"Really? Because I thought you were so mild-mannered..."

He squeezed her gently. "Sarcasm when I'm trying to comfort you? That's rude."

"I just... "

"She's not gone forever. You'll find each other again. Even if we can't leave the City of Beasts." He sounded distracted as he talked, and she realized he was watching the fields. "I should take the boys to my Clan soon. You'll be here in the Tiger Castle, surrounded by guards, so no one will harm you."

"But you and Winston are leaving."

"You still have Theo, and even if he's a butt-fluff he can still kick ass. So I'm not too worried." He gently touched the mark on your shoulder. "This means I'll be able to find you, wherever you go."

"Like a tracking device?" She noticed his puzzled stare. "Like I'm leaving a scent trail only you can follow?"

"Exactly." He squeezed her tightly.

"Orson... I've been meaning to ask you about something..."

"Orson, have you seen... oh, hello Neara." A tiger beastman stood just behind them and placed his hands carefully behind his back. "Winston wanted to talk to you about something urgent."

"Tell him I'll be right there... Orson, is it ok if I..."

"You don't need to ask permission." He lightly tapped her nose. "For anything."

She smiled and gently hugged him, then followed the tiger beastman out.

"In case that wasn't clear, I meant you could mate the hell out of Winston and I wouldn't give a shit!" he bellowed after them.

Neara said nothing, but her ears took the opposite approach. Thankfully, the beastman with her ignored the embarrassing outburst. Or declaration. Whatever it was, it wasn't going to happen now.

Winston waited in the throne room, significantly smaller than the Ape King's, and smiled as she walked in. "Neara, I have an idea."

"Oh really? What's your idea?"

He waved off the tiger beastman, who left and closed the door behind him tightly. "You should come with me to the coast. I know Orson is planning on leaving with the children and I don't think you'd like to be alone. It could be enjoyable to see the warmth of the ocean again."

"The wha... oh, um, no, I left there on such a bad note, I couldn't possibly..."

"I'll protect you from their wrath. None of them holds more than 2 stripes." His eyes hardened as if the very thought caused him rage. "You will be safe with me. We leave in the morning."

"The morning? Orson didn't say he was leaving that soon, and I'd like to spend more time with them... to be able to leave my mark somehow." She frowned and thought about Shay's words. Was she really a bad mom? To sheep? How could you mess up an animal? Or maybe not an animal, but acting like an animal...

"Something troubling you?"

"Shay and I fought... and we both called each other bad moms."

"Why would you say that?" His ears perked towards her as he tilted his head.

"I said she's coddling her kids, basically, and she said I have depression. I don't know if I do or not... and I don't even know if what I'm feeling IS depression, I'm just worried she won't talk to me again... or that her mates won't let her. They kind of boss her around a lot."

"Shay can hold her own. If she wants to talk to you, I don't think they'll be able to stop her, regardless of their personal feelings towards you now that you've insulted their mate."

"Ugh, you're right." Fresh tears flowed down her face and she held her breath unsuccessfully to make them stop. "I'll probably never be able to see her again... and after I thought I'd never see her again, the first thing we do when we see each other is fight because she wants to leave so bad..." she trailed off into a sob.

Winston approached her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "May I comfort you?"

"No, I'm fine, I'm just... this is just hard."

He didn't look convinced, but removed his hand anyway. "Why does she want to leave?"

"Because the City hates her mates and wants to kill her babies. At least, that's what she says. Everyone's too scared of them to do anything so I don't know why she's freaking out so much..."

"The snakes should be getting old enough to have their own territories by now, and I can't imagine they'll stray far from the only love they've known. Putting even one snake beastman's territory near the City of Beasts is troublesome enough, let alone ten bachelors."

"So you're saying she's right?"

"For her family. It's true her males are in no danger since they are powerful; her children do not have marks yet and would be easy targets. If she wants to take them outside the City to establish their own territories, I think it's a good idea. However, I do not think she should have said you were a bad mother because you are sick."

"You think I'm depressed too?" Her heart sank and she clenched her mouth tightly against more tears.

"I don't know what that means, but I have noticed you are sad since giving birth."

"Depressed means sad... ugh. And there's no therapists here..."

"I could look for some, although I haven't heard of that Clan."

"No, it's people you talk to about your feelings and thoughts and they help you think of better ideas and things to think about. They have to learn a lot and be highly educated. It's just... ugh."

"I am not intelligent, but you can talk to me and I'll tell you what I think, if you like."

"I..."

A beastman walked in and frowned at Winston. "The Ape King said we should leave in the morning."

"I know, Bennett." Winston's expression didn't change for the intrusion. "I am already making preparations."

"Oh. The Ape King just wanted to confirm..."

"Neara was speaking before you interrupted her," he said coldly, "so be quiet and let her finish." He turned to her expectantly.

"No, it's ok, we don't have to, it was just me talking... go ahead with your business. I'll just go outside until you're done."

"I would like to know what you have to say, Neara."

"And it can wait a little longer." She stood next to Bennett and smiled nervously. "I promise." The door shut behind her and she let out the breath she'd been holding. She had no plans to use Winston as a therapist and expose him to her messed up psyche, but it was sweet he offered.

She waited outside and looked at the beastmen passing by. Several of them glanced in her direction, but quickly looked away. WIth her mass of curly hair, she couldn't be anyone other than the female under Winston's protection, although it didn't stop the younger ones from sizing her up. Bennett left quickly with his tail between his legs and Winston stood in the doorway and roared. The beastmen around him cowered and Neara winced against the loudness, too stunned to put her hands over her ears.

"The Ape King has requested that I lead the salt caravans again this year. Do not mistake my compliance for his superior authority." He glared at Bennett, who scurried from the room. "We leave in the morning." His gaze fell on Neara and he said, "Would you like to continue our earlier discussion?"

"No thanks, I need to see the boys..."

She tried to walk away but he called after her, "So you won't be accompanying me to the sea?"

"No, it's fine, I'll just stay here for a bit." She said over her shoulder, trusting in his superior hearing. She got back up to the main floor and couldn't find Orson or the boys anywhere. She carefully combed through the castle and a guard beastman informed her they were outside playing. Deciding this was as good a chance as any to try and convince Rosa to talk one last time, she paid her a visit.

Rosa's fury filled her room like a palpable force.

"Hey Rosa; I suppose you heard you're leaving tomorrow?"

She nodded and scowled at her.

Neara held up her hand and slipped the other inside her cloak to grab her rock knife. Rosa might be a female, but she wasn't weak; the lines of muscles on her body showed definite strain when she moved her limbs. "Hey, I just found out, and I wanted to have more time to talk to you."

Rosa rolled her eyes and sniffed derisively.

"I know... I didn't think it would be this soon either. You haven't even been here a full day yet." She looked at the ground. "I don't know if I can quickly teach you how to read but..." She traced words on the ground with her finger and pointed to each of them. "These squiggles say things. If you point to them, maybe you can tell me what you're trying to say."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I know, but listen when I point to the squiggles and I'll tell you which ones say what. Then you can point to the squiggles that match what you're thinking." She stayed crouched and continued scratching words. "So this one is 'Wolf' and this one is 'King' and this one is 'Ape' and this one is 'Leopard'..." She continued through the fifteen or so words she'd written, going over them several times until Rosa nodded impatiently.

She pointed so quickly, Neara couldn't keep up.

"Wolf Ape kill? Leopard kill?"

Rosa shook her head and pointed to Neara.

"Oh! You forgot this one?" She repeated the words again and Rosa nodded.

She pointed slowly, deliberately, her face painted with concentration and anger.

"Ape King kill Leopard Wolf King kill City"

Rosa nodded and grinned triumphantly.

Neara repeated the words under her breath. "Wait, do you mean the Ape King is going to kill the City?"

She nodded and frowned.

"How's he going to... never mind. I should tell Winston, right?"

Rosa shook her head, her eyes going wide.

"No, it's ok. He's my... mate, so I think it'll be ok. Also, who better to stop him than the Tiger King? I... I hope everything turns out alright for you." She left and waved at Rosa, who crossed her arms and sat on her cot with a thump.

Once again, she couldn't find who she was looking for, but she did finally run into Orson and her boys, who headbutted her hips so hard she almost fell down the flight of stairs she'd just come up.

Orson glared and the air in the room turned to lead. "Do not push your mother."

The lambs squeaked and hid in another room.

He helped her up. "I took them outside so they could graze on the new grasses in the forest." He sniffed delicately. "I'm assuming you didn't mate?"

"No, stop sniffing, you pervert!" She shoved him away from her, although he didn't go far. "I don't even know if I want to..."

"Look, I know you want to. You know you want to. This isn't up for debate. The only one who doesn't seem to know you want to shake his bones is Winston, and that's because he's a predator with hunting instincts where his brains should be." He rolled his eyes. "I'd feel better if you did."

"No!"

"Is that the only word you know how to say now? Or, wait, let me guess, you're not going to do it just because I said you should?"

"Well, I'm definitely not going to do anything if you know about it... that's weird." She grabbed her cloak and pulled it over her head. "I don't want to be mad at you before you disappear forever."

"I won't. Don't worry." He pulled her into his arms, ignoring her protests. "I'll always be able to find you, and I will always look for you. I won't be gone for another day or two anyway. The snows need time to melt or the lambs could fall."

"Ok... just stop telling me to mate with Winston, ok?"

"Only if you promise to do it."

"Shut up! I don't want to talk about it!" She pulled away from him and walked into the room where her children disappeared. "Hey, babies? It's... mommy... can I come talk to you?"

They slowly walked out and nuzzled her hands. She gathered their thin bodies into her arms, feeling the skin slide around on top of their frames. These animals with hard heads and hard noses and floppy ears, these brown little creatures with scratchy coats and black feet... these were her children. She couldn't bring herself to believe it, much less compare them to a baby.

"Orson, am I a bad mom?" She asked as she heard him walk in behind her.

"If being hesitant around your first litter makes you a bad mom, then most females are terrible." He patted her head. "I'm a doctor, Neara, I travel a lot and I assist a lot of births for nervous females. This is new, and it's normal to be nervous. Our next batch will be more promising."

"Then how come Shay..."

"If you're going to find happiness, you need to stop comparing yourself to others. Shay is odd in so many ways, least of all the way she takes immediately to feral reptiles." His lip curled slightly. "Though she's right and they are beastmen, their species is not known for tenderness, kindness, or gentility, especially when it comes to their own offspring or females."

"Winston saved a female from a scorpion feral once, when I first got to the City." She remembered the day they'd met, his deep voice rumbling through her like an earthquake in her heart. He'd seemed so intimidating back then, but his eyes were so kind... her hand involuntarily clenched her throat as she remembered swallowing the emerald.

"Scorpions are the only feral with a worse reputation than snakes. Even panthers are not so beastial; they're barely more than their beast forms. It's a miracle she survived, and an even greater one that Winston was able to save her."

"I guess I just don't understand why Shay wants to leave everything in civilization to take a chance surrounded by..."

"Neara, you're not getting the point." He pushed the lambs away with his leg, squatted in front of her and took her face in his hands. "Shay is guarded by a tetra-mark mate, a tri-mark mate, and has a tri-mark guardian who will someday be a tetra. Although Joseph has no marks, he is powerful in his own right. If Shay feels invincible, she can't be faulted. Her mates are powerful and will guarantee she comes to no harm." He scowled slightly, a line appearing above his top lip as it disappeared into his mouth. "You... have no such luxury."

"I don't mean..."

"You resent me for being weak, for being ... prey." He stood up suddenly, the speed almost knocking Neara over. "It would be better if we hadn't mated. That's why I want you to be Winston's mate so badly, you know. He could guard you where I can't."

"Orson, that's not..."

"Let me finish." He sighed. "I know you love me, and I'm grateful for that love. If you truly want to follow Shay and the only thing keeping you from doing it is a sense of obligation to me, then don't. I want you to find strong mates and follow your friend. Your herd, your flock, is with her, and you should have the males to do it." He looked down at her, then the fighting lambs. "I will accept whoever you desire, as long as they are strong enough to protect you out there. I can't count on your beauty charming and softening a feral the way Shay has done with Curtis."

"Orson, that's almost... beautiful." She smiled at him. "I have other reasons for staying though... I talked to Rosa and she thinks the Ape King is going to try sabotaging the City or something. She said he was going to kill it."

"How did she say that if she can't talk?"

"I wrote words and she..."

"How did she learn to read so fast? It's taken me months and..."

"Calm down, mutton man, I told her what the words said and had her point them out. She just memorized what squiggles went with what sound, she didn't actually read it." Neara curled her mouth. "You're not jealous, are you?"

"Just frustrated with my own incompetence." He rubbed a hand through his hair and patted it carefully back into place. "I trust you here, you know. You'll be safe." He looked over her shoulder at the setting sun just touching the top of the wall outside the window. "We should get some sleep. I know you'll want to say goodbye to Winston tomorrow morning."

"You're right... where's Theo, anyway? I haven't seen him around." She stood and followed him to the main bedroom, stripping away her cloak as she walked.

"I'd suspect he's been called away to other fertility ceremonies; a rabbit beastman is expected to mate several times a year and since you rejected him multiple times, he probably left to try a different female."

"I guess that's a good thing..." She trailed off as she lay down, her boys on one side and Orson on the other. Winston, since ascending to the throne, worked late into the night, particularly when it came to preparing for the salt caravan. He wouldn't be up until well after midnight, or when the orange moon reached the middle of the sky. She'd gotten used to the three moons, but the idea of going anywhere near a large body of water affected by their gravitational pull filled her with dread. She'd never been one for wild water anyway.

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"You're a soft bunny," Captain growled softly as he stood over the twitching corpse of his soldier. Theo's eyes glazed over in death, though his limbs seized sporadically from the poison.