Continuation of the Discussion. Long. Live. The. King. Also, a little payoff since my cowriter (Lowefantasy) was getting irritated by all the angst and lack of sexy times. Like, in-person irritated, not just story-wise.
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"I... don't know."
"What do you mean, you don't know?" Shay cocked her head. "It's a yes or no question. And anyway, I'd figure you'd want to get out of the City now that you're a political fugitive and all... or at least your bun is."
"No, I know why, it's just... ugh." Neara buried her head in her hands. "Look, we've never done anything like this before. Curtis isn't even awake yet. I don't know if Winston will follow me out or not, or if he'll have to stay behind and be the next Tiger King because he was the brother, there's just a lot... just a lot happening."
"No, I get that. I don't think that's how succession works though, because Parker told me he's not up for Leopard King unless he defeats his dad in combat. Which might happen because his dad is a tetra-mark and Parker's relatively young."
"And... you've been in the wild. I haven't. I'm not a traveler or anything. The idea of roaming around taking care of ferals who might try to kill my mates just to get at me..."
"But it doesn't have to be like that. There's no roaming around, we just find a base away from villages and let the ferals know where we are."
"I've heard Ryan talk about it though. He lost his mom taking care of ferals, and that's what you want to do too. I don't even know if Orson would survive out there. You have 2 feral predators and Orson... he's an herbivore. A no-mark herbivore. I can't expect your males to protect your family and mine at the same time."
"I... just assumed Winston would go with you."
Neara flushed. "I... don't think so."
"Why? What happened? Was that what you and Orson were fighting about?"
"Kind of. He said I shouldn't be nice to males, and I said I was nice to Winston and he didn't expect anything in return and ..."
"Was Winston right there when you said that?"
"Yeah, I asked him if he expected me to mate with him because I was nice to him and he said no."
"Dude... why would he say yes? If you're standing there telling him that you're nice to him without wanting to mate with him, why would he say he wanted to mate with you? Poor Winston."
Neara was confused into silence, her mouth open to reply. "I...."
"Stop pretending you don't have feelings for him. I know it kills you not to smush that sexy tiger bum." As if special spousal magic alerted her to the indignation of her mate, she called behind her shoulder, "Yours is better, Ryan, calm down. Not that I'm a butt person in the first place."
"What if I just like him because he's the first attractive guy that's been nice to me?"
"Neara..." Shay squatted next to her friend and looked her deeply in the eyes. "You have to stop comparing all the guys you meet to Justin. He was a bad guy who used and abused you. Winston, hell, most guys here aren't like that. Ryan and Curtis would never do anything like that to me, and they're sizzling beef cakes hotter than magazine models."
"But that's..."
"And Winston obviously loves you back, so why not take a chance and ask him to go with you? Have you even given him a chance, or did you just write him off because he's hot?"
"I..."
"And I'm going to let you poorly defend yourself after this last thought. Why exactly did you pick Orson if he's only mean to you? You jumped into bed with him quick enough, pardon my French, so why are you hanging back with Winston?"
"I don't know. I guess I'm just used to Orson's sarcasm and he didn't seem like he'd hurt me and he was an herbivore so it didn't seem like he would try anything..."
"So you're into guys with an inferiority complex." Less a question and more a statement.
"No!"
"You're blushing, dude, you so are." She cackled and almost fell backwards. "You want guys who have such low self-esteem they never thought they could get you in the first place, so when you pick them, they just devote themselves to you entirely. That's hilarious."
"Shut up! What's wrong with wanting a guy who knows your worth?"
"Nothing wrong with the GUY knowing your worth, but it doesn't seem like you do." She stopped laughing and looked at her seriously. "Look, the situation is getting too dicey here. I say we leave and never come back. We'll ditch the buns, bring the predators and Orson with us, and have a little community out in the middle of nowhere and be hot doctors who take care of society's unloved and become heroes for the next hundred years."
"Ok, I see your point, and I... I still want time to think about it. I don't think I have enough mates to keep me and my kids safe out there, even if I do take Winston... which I'm not saying he'll even want to."
"I'll make a hat and eat it if he says no. And you can think about it; we have plenty of time. Curtis isn't even awake yet and I think it's going to be a little bit before he wakes up because he went down so late anyway."
"Ok. Thanks for listening. Ugh, I feel so lame for crying."
"You've been confusing yourself about your feelings ever since that hunk of tiger man meat stepped into your life. It's normal to feel a little irritated at yourself. Think of all the fluffy tiger cubs you missed out on."
Ryan cleared his throat loudly.
"SO... why don't you go back home and we can talk about this later?" She shot a warning glance at Ryan. "I'm sure they won't send guards or anything since nobody even knows who killed the Tiger King, so they have no reason to suspect you. Unless there is a whole succession thing, in which case you're screwed BUT Winston's the only tetra-mark IN the Tiger Clan right now anyway, so he'll probably be able to keep you safe." She helped her friend stand up and showed her to the door. "Hi Winston, here's Neara. You two have a lot to catch up on. Bye!"
Ryan stood behind her in an instant, his arms draped loosely around her waist and his hands creeping upward. "Speaking of fluffy cubs..."
Winston appeared beside Neara at the same instant the door closed, as though by magic.
"Are you ok? You ran out quickly and forgot your cloak." He held up the warm garment and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"I'm fine... I just wanted to ask you about... ugh, it seems stupid now that I'm not talking to her..."
"Whatever you require, I will give it to you." He wrapped a protective arm around her and led her towards her house.
"Shay wants to leave the City of Beasts."
"Are you asking me to go with her? My place is here, guarding you."
"I told her you'd probably have to be the next Tiger King or something and couldn't go."
"Would you like that?"
"I don't know what the laws are about who could be the next Tiger King. Shay says the Leopard King throne is decided by combat but I don't know if that's the same for all clans or just the leopard one."
"That is the way of all Clans in the City of Beasts. The strongest male in the Clan becomes the King."
"So, you're the King then?"
"I outmatch every male in the Tiger Clan."
"Oh."
"If you would like me to be the King..."
"Aren't you already?"
"I would have to prove it in the sparring match tomorrow, but it's inevitable. No male in the Clan has three marks, let alone four."
"I'm sorry about your brother."
"We weren't close."
They said nothing until they got back to the house. Winston opened the door for her and followed after.
Orson glared at her when she stomped the snow off her boots. "Where have you been?"
"You know where I went, so don't ask me questions you already have the answers to." She shrugged off her cloak and stalked to the back bedroom, her lambs following and bleating for milk.
Strong hands whirled her around and pressed her against a chest stiff as a board. "I was worried about you. I thought about you the entire time. I'm... sorry."
"Sorry for what." She stood there in his embrace, unwilling to give in and hug him, wanting to punish him a little more for the fight and hating herself for that desire. "It's not like what you said wasn't true."
"I know... I just shouldn't have phrased it like that. I just worry that one of these days, you're going to wake up and realize you don't want to be with me anymore and you'll cut my mark off."
"You're near my heart... I think it's obvious my feelings for you. You're always a jerk to me, though, so it's not obvious what you think about me."
"I'm worried you're going to slip away every minute of the day. I'm worried the sun will rise and you'll disappear in the night. I'm worried the mark will fade from your shoulder like a bruise and you'll forget you ever mated with a... prey."
"You can stop worrying." She wrapped her arms loosely around his shoulders. "I'm not going anywhere... at least for a while. Shay asked me to run away with her and her mates, but I'm still thinking about it."
"What?"
"You can ask Winston... I'm kind of exhausted." She looked around under his armpit. "Where's Theo?"
"He's outside with the shortbirds."
"And nobody came to hurt him or anything?"
"Why would they? The death of a King isn't a cause for alarm." He looked at her face and gently rubbed her cheek. "I'm sorry I'm being more affectionate than usual. I'm just happy you're back."
"Where would I go? My babies are here... and so's my mate."
He blushed and put his hand underneath her chin. "I want to kiss you. May I?"
"Yes."
Their lips slowly merged while the twins butted their parents in intervals, occasionally looking up to see if their actions had stopped them from doing whatever they were doing. It hadn't.
Winston's ears pricked upwards and he saw them standing in the doorway. He walked outside and helped keep Theo from entering the house.
The next morning, Neara and her males walked around the City, enjoying the sights and smells. Males scrubbed furs outside their female's houses and several stood on the roofs shoveling snow off. The air and breeze felt almost warm and Neara regretted her decision to wear her heavy dress. As they neared the Tiger King's castle, the sound of slapping flesh caught their attention. Neara wandered in the doorway and noticed the males filling the courtyard and actively attacking each other.
"Winston, is this what you were talking about?"
He nodded.
"I bet you'd be the strongest Tiger King ever."
He looked at her for a moment, then leaped into the fray. Unconscious males lined his progress as he moved from male to male in a furious burst of energy and claws. By the end, only one male stood against him, and he quickly retreated under Winston's threatening stare.
A roar filled the area and the surviving beastmen cowered in fear before bowing. "Winston is the Tiger King!"
"Winston is the Tiger King!"
The cry went throughout the City until everyone knew the change in command.
"So, now what?" Neara asked when he returned to her side.
"We can move into the Tiger King's Castle. It's larger and there are more males to guard you when I can't."
"Shay wants me to run away with her though..."
"And you can still do that. Whenever you like. You can stay at the castle until you leave." He smiled gently at her. "I want you to be happy."
He showed them the large throne room that seemed more intimate than the Ape King's showy stage. There were seven floors in the whole castle and WInston's private territory occupied the top three. He sent tiger beastmen to their home to bring back the shortbirds, spinning wheel, mills, and the different smaller items she'd invented while they were there. At her request, a beastman was sent to Shay's home to inform them of the change in address, and to also invite her family to stay with them in the castle.
She was told Ryan declined the invitation from a shaken messenger. Maybe she was mad she didn't immediately want to run away? But then she would have said something... ugh, she hated not seeing her in person, but the lambs were growing more adventurous all the time and in a castle full of predators, she didn't want to take any chances.
Winston walked in on her looking out the back window on the top floor, watching eagles, or eagle beastmen, gliding on the currents.
"I found something in the forest that I would like to show you; it's not a far walk, and I can tell you if you like, but I thought it would be a nice surprise."
She shrugged. "Sure, I'm bored." She slid from the stone bench and followed him down the stairs and into the forest. The snow blanketed everything in silence, although birds and other animals could be heard foraging for food at the end of winter. She supposed the hunting would be better now, although Winston had made sure she never went without. Orson and Theo had both lost a significant amount of weight, Orson's sharp features seeming to haunt his face while Theo's baby fat had melted from his skeleton. They both stripped the bark from the trees around their home and had even sampled some black herb fish she'd made for Winston. Both declared it inedible, no matter their hunger.
He stopped, crouched, and gestured for her to come closer. It was a hole in the ground, the size of her leg, and a shivering fawn lay surrounded by foliage.
"It's so cute!" she breathed, "where's its mother?"
"Nearby." He gestured to a delicate leg that emerged from behind a tree, the large doe eyes studying them intensely. "I know you like small things and thought you'd enjoy seeing it."
"Wow!" She looked at the delicate brown, the white speckles near its rump and the constantly twitching ears. It lay waiting for its mother to call it out of hiding, although both animals felt too much fear to move.
They squatted in silence for a few minutes until the doe let out a muffled bleat. Winston looked at the fawn, then carefully backed away, holding Neara's arm as he did so. "The mother is distressed. We should go."
Neara nodded and followed him out. "Thanks for that," she said once they'd gotten out of the clearing.
"I'm glad to bring you a little joy in this terrible weather."
"I don't mind the cold, actually. I like it better than the summer."
"Truly?"
"Yeah. When you're cold, you can always warm up with someone else but when you're hot, you can't exactly peel off your skin."
Winston thought for a moment. "You could always go swimming. I find that cools me down."
"You know, not everything needs a solution."
"What do you mean?"
She stopped walking and looked at him, or at least tried to. His face hurt her heart so much. Oh well, gotta shoot your shot, right? "Whenever I bring up a problem, you don't have to fix it."
"I only want your life to be comfortable..."
"Winston..." she inhaled sharply through her nose, realized it might scare him, and tried to smile. It weakly slid off her face. Tremors shook her body, and not from the icy breeze flowing through the trees. "If I didn't look like this, would you still like me?"
"I don't understand what you mean; I am not your guardian because you are attractive."
"No, I mean... would you like me if I wasn't nice to you?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "If you weren't nice to me, you'd be no different than the females here."
"Ok, but do you like me? Like... do you... love... me?"
The only color in that forest, or maybe the only color in the City, burst into his face with a smash of pink and purple. Even his eyes seemed to have a rosy glow to them. "I... thought it was obvious."
"I mean, you never want to do anything with me, so I thought..." she looked at her hands and felt her own blush mirroring his. Suddenly the cloak seemed overkill, although she didn't want to take it off.
"I enjoy spending time with you, but I understand my feelings can't be reflected. I am ugly and cold." He looked at the landscape. "Like a tree in winter. I love you, but I know you cannot return those feelings. Being by you... it is enough."
"Ok..." she gulped. She wasn't going to get anywhere and she didn't want to talk in case this whole situation popped like a dream, or a bubble, or what would Orson say... and why did she care? Because she liked him... she liked Winston... she loved both of them. She... she just couldn't pick one, and in this world, she wasn't supposed to.
He continued looking at her. She realized she'd been agonizing to herself the entire time... in silence.
"Winston, I love you too."
His eyes flew open and his face went white. "You... love me?"
"Yeah, I do." She squinted her face so she wouldn't have to see his reaction. Embarrassment... how middle school was this? "I really love you and I'm glad you're around and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say it but..."
He twitched forward and stopped. In a broken voice, he muttered, "I would like to embrace you. Is that permitted?"
"Yeah."
His arms folded around her and gently pressed her into his warm chest, almost searing her frozen cheeks. His hand slowly twirled in her hair and his other hand carefully held her waist close to his body. Her nerves fluttered as he inhaled and breathed out, her body rising and falling with his breaths and slightly trembling from his deep voice. "I have wanted to do this for so long..."
"Why didn't you say anything?" She'd suspected, but who in their right mind would think someone like him would ever go for someone like her? Isn't that the terror of puberty? Thinking you read too much into someone's actions and push feelings on them they didn't really have so when you confess your feelings, they freak out and laugh at you and tell everyone they know how stupid you were for feeling that way about them? Not that Winston would ever do that...
"I thought it was obvious; a beastman does not guard someone he does not wish to mate."
"Oh."
"You wouldn't let me do anything for you... I thought you did not care for me."
"I was trying to spend time with you, but you always wanted to do things alone."
"We are as complicated as Ape beastmen." He chuckled and pulled back. "I do not wish to overstep my boundaries." He set her down and looked at her. "I would like to kiss you."
"That... that's fine."
Their lips met gently, curious, as all first kisses should be. He tasted like salt and something sweetly animal, like honey or ice cream. She had a long time to decide and by the time she came up for air, she'd landed on honey.
He pulled away with a smile and raised a slow hand to her mouth. "You have something in the corner..."
She hurriedly swiped at it. "I got it, it's ok."
"So you like being independant."
"And you like doing things for me."
"I suppose this is why I love you; you are your own female."
She blushed, afraid of the compliment and the reality waiting at home. Although she knew it wasn't considered cheating in this world, it still felt like it. A rush of empathy for Shay pushed through her soul and left her intensely sad for a moment. She knew she didn't have to worry about her males, but Shay... well, forced into both relationships by kidnapping and drugs... hell of a way to get married. At least her males got along... she hoped.
"We should get back to the castle." He looked at the sun. "Not much time has
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