Chapter 104: brought to you by Winnie-the-Pooh

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Today on "Whose that Poke'Mate?": Tony joins the harem, Neara gets a spy, and Orson hates his codename. Also, Lowefantasy still thinks of Tony as Yogi Bear.

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Tony arrived in the throne room with wide eyes and a small frown. Winston stood in the corner, next to Neara and Orson. Other than the four of them, the large room was empty. He'd ordered the rest of the castle, including the Ape Beastmen, to clear dry weeds away from the new wall and the planting fields.

"What's this about, Tiger King?" Tony eyed Neara suspiciously.

She suppressed a smile, biting her cheek. He was going to flip when he saw who she really was, but for now, she enjoyed the lack of attention.

"We have a female in need of a guardian, and we thought you would be the best person to help." Winston looked at him, unmoving. Tony's height almost matched Winston, although you'd need to measure in centimeters or something to find the difference. Their similarities ended there, as Tony's short dark hair and dark eyes contrasted with Winston's pale coloring. Winston's had a muscular frame, a la Brendan Fraser in 'George of the Jungle' but Tony looked like he hit the gym three times a day and sweated Muscle Milk, bulging from every possible angle.

Tony cocked his head. "I'm sorry, but my heart is sworn to Neara, and Neara alone."

"I thought she was chased out of the City?" Orson said mockingly.

"Well, yes, but I didn't know that until she was gone. Who are you?" His head leaned the other way. "You look like that Sheep that was her mate."

Neara wiped her face with a damp cloth and stepped out from behind Winston. She didn't know what to say, but thankfully Tony had plenty of words.

"Neara!" His eyes lit up and he raced to her side, almost knocking Orson over. "I never thought I'd see you again!" He squatted in front of her so their eyes were level. It was both adorable and degrading. "Why did you cut your hair? And smear that black stuff on your face? Are you in hiding?" His eyes widened and he slapped a hand over his mouth. "Shoot, I probably shouldn't have said anything, right?"

Orson dragged Tony backwards by his ear, a vein throbbing in his head. "Listen, you blood-soaked scrap of wasted brain, Neara's being hunted by the Ape King and you need to keep her safe."

Winston nodded and turned on his threatening aura, making Tony lose all color. "I have been thinking of ways to destroy you slowly ever since you first met her. I will use them all."

Tony nodded and gulped nervously. "Sure thing! No problem! I... I'd be glad to be her guardian. All she had to do was ask."

"Thanks, Tony." Her voice sounded tender and soft behind the dagger... er... claw-laced words of Orson and Winston. "I appreciate you wanting to help me. My fake name's Agatha, so make sure you only call me Agatha, especially in front of other beastmen."

The blood returned to his face in a flood. "Nea..Agatha. It's a good name to hide behind." His eyes started shining and Neara backed up a step, holding out her hand for more black powder.

Orson handed it over with a scowl. "Don't get any ideas."

"I'll do whatever she wants." His voice sounded dreamy. "Anything for Neara."

"Agatha," she gently reminded.

"Agatha." He smiled as she smeared the dark substance over her face again. "Wait, Ape King wants to hunt you? Doesn't he eat fruits and things like that?"

Neara shot Orson a look before he could say something sarcastic and finished spreading the black around. "I think he's threatened by the powerful beastmen that are... um, that are my friends. So he probably wants me out of the City so he can control it."

"But when you were out of the City, he didn't control it." Tony pointed out. "He just put up the wall to protect us from the Scorpions seeking water. And assigned an Ape beastman to every female's household to fetch water for them."

"Why would a female need an Ape beastman to get water for her?" Winston sounded concerned. "There are plenty of strong beastmen who could carry more water. Why not send one of them?"

Tony shook his head. "It's a special spring ruled by the gods, one that only Ape beastmen can draw from."

"Has anyone ever seen this spring?" Orson asked.

Nodding, he said, "Of course. The Ape beastmen tell us of its beauty."

"Ok, but has anyone other than an Ape beastman seen it?" Orson sounded like he was trying to lead Tony somewhere.

"Of course not. You have to be an Ape beastman to go there, and nobody else is an Ape beastman except an Ape beastman."

Orson dug his fingers into his hair, scratching wildly at his scalp.

"Um, don't you think that's a little suspicious?" Neara tried again.

"No, it makes sense. Only an Ape beastman can go, so only an Ape beastman goes."

Neara spoke quickly to head off the rapidly reddening Orson, "What I mean is, how do you know only an Ape beastman can go if nobody else has tried?"

Tony concentrated for a second, then smiled. "Because Ape King told us!"

"Ape King also said I was... a witch and going to bring destruction if I stayed here. And the drought happened anyway. And, um, I don't think I'm a bad person, even if I've done some bad things, but not really bad, like killing anyone, except for Shuu, but he kind of put himself in front of me if that makes sense, and..."

Orson shook his head and pulled at Neara's elbow. "Tony, if Ape King can speak to the gods, why haven't they ended this drought? If he's so powerful, why hasn't he called the clouds back for rain?"

"Agatha is more powerful than the Ape King," Winston added, "She found water on the trail in a dry riverbed."

"Who's Agatha?"

"Me."

"I thought you were... oh! That's right. I forgot."

"Obviously," Orson murmured, glaring at the Bear beastman.

Neara turned towards the back wall of the throne room, trying to imagine the dry lakebed stretching behind it. If a dry river held water, a lake had to, right? Especially one that big. "Guys, I think we need to get rid of the Ape King."

"That's what I'm saying!" Orson grumped.

"Not like that though. If he dies, everyone is going to think I, Neara, had something to do with it. Especially if I magically show up in the City afterwards. I think we need to make him the bad guy."

"He is the bad guy, right?" Tony pointed out helpfully.

"Um, yeah, but not everyone in the City thinks so. We need to turn the City against him."

"How? He has the City drinking out of the palm of his hand." Orson threw a gesture at the Ape King's castle, two fingers spread out and slapped it against the back of his other hand. "Even if they think he's bad, they're not going to turn on him while he controls the water."

"Then we need to give them other water, but make sure he can't take credit for it."

Winston,in the meantime, pressed a thumb in between his eyebrows, the rest of the hand curled gently around his nose. He closed his eyes for a long time, then opened them in the middle of the conversation. "We need a new leader."

Neara jumped at his sudden deep voice, but nodded. "Yeah, someone to take his place so they won't feel alone."

"Well, the only King we can trust is Winston." Orson shrugged. "I mean, he already has the authority and strength."

"He is the strongest beastman in the City," Tony agreed.

Winston's eyes widened slightly at the corners. "I... I couldn't be a fit ruler for the entire City of Beasts. Agatha is much more..."

"She can't get attention, genius, or Ape King will blame everything on her again."

"Orson is smart; a doctor and has his own sort of strength."

The Sheep being discussed narrowed his eyes so far they disappeared beneath his thick white eyebrows. His mouth strained against itself so hard it almost ripped, "Say one thing about my special strength, Winston, and so help me gods..."

Tony, unaware of the danger, patted Orson's arm sympathetically, his fingers almost as wide as Orson's wrist. "There, there, Orson, prey strength is important too."

Several veins in Orson's neck throbbed and he flicked Tony's hand away. "You know we consider that a slur, right?"

"Oh, sorry, prey powers."

Neara pushed forward before they could get more off-track. "Winston, we just need you as a rallying point. We don't know if the new Wolf King and Leopard King can be trusted yet, especially since Ape King probably helped them win the strength tournament. We just need you to be the 'good guy' to his bad guy so the City trusts you more than him. If you're right every time he's wrong, then we'll be able to get rid of him without beastmen freaking out."

A loud knock sounded at the door. The beastmen looked at the door questioningly and Neara pulled her cloak around her. Creaking on its hinges, the door slowly rolled inward and Ape King walked in, a sneer on his face and a scrawny Ape beastman trailing behind, fear painting his features white and yellow.

"Ah, Winston, I'm glad you're here. That female you've mated... oh, I see she's right there." He noticed Neara and his face softened slightly. "Ah, yes, well, no doubt you've wondered about the water. There's a special spring..."

"I told him about the spring, Ape King." Tony answered cheerfully, "I even mentioned that Agatha would need an Ape beastman if she wanted to get water."

Ape King paused for a moment, letting the beastmen feel the audacity of interruption, before proceeding, "Yes... thank you." He turned his attention back to Winston, "At any rate, I know this can be uncomfortable for some beastmen, but he's not going to mate her unless she consents, which is the same afforded to any beastman in the City." A smile carved from wood flaked at his cheeks and rested just beneath his eyes. "I don't believe you'll have many problems, but it's information, anyway." He nodded to the beastman who slowly walked forward, eyebrows almost to his forehead as he looked at Neara. "This is Agatha and it is your duty to bring her water every day."

The beastman nodded.

"Well, I think that takes care of all the females. We've assigned a temporary guardian to Ethel, of course, but she won't have problems finding other mates. She's quite attractive. Almost as attractive as Neara, I'd say." He looked from Tony to Winston. "Don't look so sour; I was making a joke."

Winston's face maintained its neutral expression, while Tony's eyes tightened.

"Neara is the most beautiful female in the City!" He towered over Ape King, his body arched around the smaller beastman like a comma.

Ape King nodded once. "She was, wasn't she? Although she couldn't attract very powerful mates. Oh well; if she'd stayed here, it would be worse for us, I think. You all saw the vision. Well, some of you. We haven't had the lava flow happen, but I think it would have if she were still with us."

Neara tried to look confused and upset. "I have just as much right to beauty as any other female in this City! In fact, I claim Tony AND the Ape as my guardians." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked levelly at the Ape King. "This Neara should be glad she's out of the City or I'd have something to say to her."

Ape King nodded and refused to meet her eyes. "Well, for all our sakes, we're glad she isn't. Lawrence, stay." He walked back outside, the doors closing themselves after him.

Lawrence, for his part, didn't look excited about his new charge and he shuffled sideways towards the back entrance of the throne room. "I guess I should get some water now." He left before Neara could say anything.

"Well, now we need a codename for Orson," Neara said, checking again to make sure the door was shut. "Even if they don't remember his face, they might remember his name."

"How about Theodore?" Tony asked.

"No." Orson shook his head.

"Weatherby?"

"Hell no."

"Camden?"

"No."

"Sebastian?"

"No."

"Hamilton?"

"No."

"Garret?"

"Where the hell are you coming up with these names?"

"Franklin?" Neara offered.

Orson looked at her and nodded. "If anyone calls me Frankie, I'll yell at them until their ears fall off."

Tony gripped his with a pained expression. "That can't really happen, can it?"

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