Chapter 103: brought to you by mermaids

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Today on: "Snebies": Dragons don't like the ocean. The author sneezes really hard. Daddy tells his first moral tale to his children. And the prodigal son returns with an offering for peace.

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Strangely enough, Asher didn't like the ocean.

He could swim as well as the other snakes and enjoyed being in the river well enough. But for some odd reason, when he saw the ocean, he'd curl in on himself and would not be moved unless someone forcefully picked him up and carried him away.

The girls, who were the closest to Asher, found this very strange.

"He says it too big," said Sky to Shay over a lunch of boiled crab legs.

"Isn't his mama and dad a col-sal?" said Dawn doubtfully. "Aren't they big?"

Asher hissed something from where he had coiled in the dip of her lap, a crab leg between his claws.

"How was I 'spose to know? I never saw them," Dawn said scathingly to Asher.

"Everyone has something they're afraid of," Shay said. "There's no need to pressure him."

"But the ocean's the best," said Luna. "The prey is best. Taste best. Water is best. Big and blue."

"Like the sky," said Sky.

"Like fly! Fly in the ocean!" cried Luna in a moment of 'Eureka!'

Something struck Shay. "Wait a minute, didn't Asher say his mom and dad could fly? Puff up and float or something?"

All three girls perked up.

"Yeah!"

"They can fly and swim? That's no fair!"

Shay had to agree. That wasn't fair. What kind of cheat codes were that in a world of natural selection? The whole world should be chock full of Ashers.

Dawn gave her characteristic snort, which made Shay wonder if she should start discouraging that habit.

"If he can't swim in the ocean, how can he fly in the sky? Sky is bigger than the ocean."

Sky looked at Asher for a response, while Luna just nodded as though Dawn had spoken some deep philosophical truth.

"Right. How you gonna fly Asher?"

Some hissing later, about how the ocean and sky were nothing alike because one was filled with sharks and you couldn't breathe in and the other just had air and yummy birds ("But don't you say you hold your breath to fly?" *cue puffing up as a demonstration*), and that conversation finished.

However, it started a theme with the ocean.

The babies prattled on about oceans and skies and the sky being ocean enough that, come bedtime, the story Shay picked to tell was of the Little Mermaid. The Hans Christiansen version, not the fluffy dovey Disney fanfic.

The two boys coiled up with their eyes glittering atop their mounds while the three little girls sat on the coils of their father. The boys had seemingly earned their place to stay as long as they liked as long as they contributed in whatever way Curtis saw fit. Parker sat against the now rather tall walls of their home, Muir sat on the wall with his legs dangling, and Ryan served as Shay's backrest in his panther form. Harvey sat at her feet, washing and rubbing her feet as though it were a hobby of his.

Everyone was quite caught up in the tragedy of the little mermaid. She expected to be stopped several times to explain culture differences, like how any female would feel she had to go so far for a single male, but no questions came. She began to wonder if the idea of a female giving up her life just to be with a male was attractive to the men who'd grown up as nigh disposable citizens in the world.

However, their responses, of course, weren't what she expected. The only one who even seemed touched by the romance was Parker.

Luna and Licorice seemed to think the story a comedy and started to laugh until Dawn slapped them quiet. That started the whole scolding Dawn for being violent to her sister, though no one bothered to think Licorice could be hurt with that. The snake boys were already larger than any pythons Shay would have seen in her world, with scales tough as a crocodile.

Dice was quiet, however, his clear lids flickering over his ruby-like eyes.

"I'm intrigued by this idea of immortal and non immortal souls," said Harvey. "We believe that the spirits of the dead rise up to dwell with the stars, if they're ready for it."

"If they're ready for it?" Shay asked hesitantly. "You guys believe in ghosts?"

"Only idiots don't believe in ghosts," said Parker from the wall.

Muir gave a quiet snort, earning a glare from Parker.

Harvey just tweedled her toes, flashing the two an amused glance.

"Are mermaids really that pretty?" asked Sky.

"I don't know. The only one who has seen one is your dad."

All the little snakes, Harvey, and Muir flicked their gazes to Curtis.

Curtis, unlike the rest of them, didn't seem all that amused by the story. If anything, he looked a little peeved. And with everyone's gaze on him, that disgruntlement grew.

"Your mother's story is complete fantasy," he said to his children with hissing firmness. "Yes, I did meet one, but she'd kill her own children before herself, let alone for a male."

Luna and Sky put their hands to their mouths in aghast. Dawn pretended to act like she had already expected that, though at two years old, anyone could see through her acting.

"Tell us a real mermaid story, daddy." Luna clapped her hands on her daddy's scales.

"Yeah!"

"A real mermaid story!"

The two boys hissed in agreement.

Curtis sighed, but reached over to pat the heads of the girls cuddled in his coils, one at a time.

"I am not as good at storytelling as your mother."

"That's okay, daddy," said Luna.

"Mommies are just good at everything," said Sky.

Dawn was too eager to refute that, but then everyone else seemed to remember her goal of growing up to be a daddy more than she did. Children's dreams and memory were fleeting like that.

"Very well. I don't know about the life of the mermaid I met, but I'll try my hand at making a story that shows what they are really like." He cleared his throat. "Hmm...once upon a time..."

Shay smiled. She wondered if he even knew what once upon a time meant.

"There was a beautiful female born by the sea. She grew up, like any female, surrounded by love. Also, like many females, she was raised protected by suffering and allowed to do whatever she wanted, as well as to have any male she wanted. But her parents gave her one rule: never follow a merman into the ocean. Have nothing to do with mermen. In fact," Curtis seemed to be picking up speed. "Never go into the ocean at all."

The three little girls frowned. Shay did too, not sure where Curtis was going with this.

Funnily enough, the other males looked to be already invested in his story.

"But," said Curtis. "Since she had never been denied anything, she thought 'why should I be denied this too?' and thought little of her parents' warning. Thus, one day, as she was playing in the waves, she was approached by the most beautiful man she had ever seen. She was so caught up in his beauty that she allowed him to take her hand and lead her into the waves. By the time she realized the man had a fishtail, he already had her in a great bubble and was pulling her deep, deep into the waters.

"Still, the stupid girl didn't think to be afraid or to call for help. He was so beautiful. And he seemed to like her too. But even if she had called for help, the only ones that would have heard her were the many other mermen who were gathering around them, unnoticed by her.

"The merman took her to a deep, underwater cave filled with hair and protected by a bubble. There, he mated with her. And she thought herself happy. But soon, another merman visited, just as beautiful as the first. More and more came. The cave was cold. They only gave her fish to eat. And she didn't want so many mates. She wanted to do something other than sit in this cave and mate."

"The girl missed her family. She wanted to see the sun. She wanted to eat all the good food and play in the trees and grass. But the mermen kept her there jealously. She gave birth to thousands upon thousands of fish eggs, which the mermen took from her to hatch somewhere far away in the corral. Her babies would look no different from any other fish and would be eaten and killed by predators with no one the wiser."

"In time, in response to her begging to be let go, her many mermen mates explained to her why they couldn't let her go. Merfolk females are more rare than any other species. One female is born for every ten thousand males. That is why the males are so much more beautiful than any other, for their only prayer for a family is to be more beautiful than thousands of others."

"And so the beautiful female was kept in that dark cave for years and years, forced to birth eggs, never to play again. And when she started to age the mermen would just bring her emeralds to restore her youth, so even death could not save her from their clutches."

Shay, who had been watching Curtis's face, happened to glance down at the girls and stopped.

"Girls?"

All three had gone more pale than she had ever seen them, trembling. Their eyes, even tough Dawn's, had swollen big with horror and tears.

"And she lived forever in the dark. Even if the mermen found another female or she gave birth to another, they were only taken away to begin a new colony, in a new cave, deep down in the depths of the ocean---"

"NOOOO!!!" wailed Luna.

"Mommy!" Sky flopped out of her daddy's grip and onto the ground, where she scrambled up to get into Shay's lap, dislodging the sleeping Asher.

Dawn just cried, head pitched back to the sky.

Instantly, all the males in the group, even Harvey, moved to comfort the three girls.

"I don't wanna---I don't wanna---"

"I don't wanna live by the ocean!"

"Momma!!"

Shay and Curtis exchanged looks.

After some time, they family managed to calm the three girls, and as they sniffled in various states of cuddling, Curtis assured them that any merman who came within sniffing distance of him or any of the other males here (an indirect command to Parker, Muir, Ryan, Harvey, and even the two baby snake boys) would be swiftly killed.

"But let that story serve as a warning to you," he said. "If you ever see a merman, do not be entranced by his beauty. Just run away."

"But we live by the ocean," said Sky. "What if a merman comes out and steals us away while we sleep?"

"I'll kill him," said Curtis simply.

"What if you're not there?"

"Ryan will kill them."

"What if he's not there?"

Curtis rolled his eyes. "You have two fathers, two guardians, six brothers, a colossal, and whatever that cat at your mom's feet is. Someone will kill them."

"But what if we're alooone?" whined Luna.

"Then you kill them!" Dawn shrieked. "Bite! Bite bite bite!"

Luna and Sky flinched, but soon gave echoing cries of "Bite bite bite!"

Curtis gave the sweetest, warmest smile to his little girls, the one he usually reserved just for Shay.

"Yes. If any male touches you against your will, you bite them good."

Singsong echoes of biting followed them all into the night.

The next day, the boys were sent off to the ocean to collect more of the flat pink clams, as the walls had been finished and the skeleton work of the roof had begun. Despite the girls self-encouraging songs about biting the night before, they were reluctant to go to the ocean themselves and opted for playing in the garden with their mother, who was planting the wheat seeds they had managed to bring along from beast city. The boy snakes had dug out trenches to allow for irrigation, and Parker was working on the door and stone walls that would serve as a gate where the trenches met the river. It probably wasn't the best work, but Shay wasn't Neara. They'd just have to work by trial and error.

Curtis had just managed to get the timbers over the main room of the cottage and was knocking the wedges together while Muir tied them up with robe when Licorice weaved onto the scene, his jaws suspiciously devoid of the basket he used to carry shells. He coiled beneath where his father worked on the stone paved floor of the main room and hissed up.

Curtis paused. He hissed back down, but didn't move, as Muir wasn't done yet. The little boy with the black stripe hissed on.

Shay, who had been taking a break in the shade of the wall, watched on in surprise as a wide and very pleased smirk spread across Curtis's face. It was the first time he had given such a look to one of his boys.

"Very well done, son," he said. "Very well done."

Licorice raised his long body just a little bit taller with pride, his mouth slightly parting in pleasure.

"What did he do?" Shay asked.

"Killed a shark," said Curtis, before hissing something down at Licorice, who nodded.

Luna was the only girl with Shay at the time, and she was suspiciously quiet.

Shay felt her stomach drop. "A-a shark?"

"Yes. Quite a big one too. It dared to enter the bay, and so he properly defended our territory. Did you make sure to eat it, boy?"

Licorice sunk down a little.

"Then get to it. No meat should be wasted." Curtis followed it up with a few more hisses and, with a nod, Licorice turned tail and slithered back.

Shay wanted to know what exactly Curtis didn't want her to hear that he was telling his boy. She would have asked the dozing little Luna in her lap, except one thing sort of took all her attention.

"There's...a shark attacked my baby..."

"Calm down, Shay. His venom served him well and his body is strong."

"But all those teeth--and in the water--what about Dice?" her voice was pitching. Memories of a still, floppy Thumb were bleeding across her mind.

Curtis sighed, knocked the last wooden nail into place, and sunk back down to the floor.

"Love," he said, sweet and calm. "It will only hurt the boys if you coddle them, you know that. And they're big enough now that no wild beast can best them. Instead, you should be pleased. Now that shark won't be coming anywhere near you or yours."

Of course. She knew that. But it took the rest of the day for her to calm her mama nerves, and she wasn't all that inclined to go play on the beach for a bit as well. Instead, she tried to focus on the joy of watching Curtis find yet one more thing to enjoy in his children. It was especially sweet to see him looking especially pleased as Licorice rolled home fat with his recent meal, though it became obvious to Shay that Dice was over the moon jealous of the rare fatherly approval his brother had gotten. He was so upset, he even slithered away into the forest that night rather than stay for a bedtime story.

The next day, Dice had returned, with Pocky and Stars in tow. The two had seemed to think better of grunt work after hearing the story of Licorice's wild success. Freckles came back the next day, ready to work as well, or, rather, they all knew down to their core that no child could come into Father's sight without being willing to work their tails off.

With the help of five sturdy boy snakes, the ditches were perfected, all the seeds planted, several fruit bearing trees uprooted, replanted, and fertilized, and the pile of shells reached their max. Dice even managed to figure out how to use his long body to hold the planks of the roof in place better than any rope so the adults could nail them into place.

Occasionally, the girls would get jealous of the boys being allowed to work with dad and would try to pitch in. But their little limbs, unwieldy and soft, would inevitably fail them in the end and they'd be sent back to play with mom.

Dawn took this the hardest.

It was some days later, while Shay was comforting her distraught daughter ("I wanna be a snaaaaake!"), when the sight of a large, blue speckled red python, larger than any of her sons, appeared coming up the gentle roll of the hills that stood between their homestead and the ocean. As it drew closer, it became obvious the snake dragged something along behind him, something with a fish tail and long, trailing turquoise hair.

Lazy Boi had returned home. And he brought with him a dead merman.


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