An introduction to the world where anxiety manifests itself. How did they get here? What is their purpose? Where is the toilet? These are some of the questions that won't be answered in this next installment, but you do get to ogle muscles, so you can continue reading at your discretion. Warning: Muscles will only be present in your mind, as will the menfolks shamalamadingdongs.

Writer Tyndali now goes forth...

Two girls looked at each other in fright, bags clutched tight around their shoulders. "What... where are we?" Shay asked.

"I... have no idea. It feels like the mountains, but it's not cold enough." Neara stuck a finger in her mouth and held it above her head. "No breeze..."

"Are there always breezes in the mountains?"

"Probably. They're high up, so they'd have wind moving over them all the time." She wiped her finger on her jeans. "Did we just stumble into an anime or something?"

"That would be... quite terrifying actually. Depending on the anime. I mean, we walked through a bakery and wound up here." They looked at each other, then back to their surroundings. "I don't suppose we're still in the bakery and this is a Narnia type situation?" The pine-scented wind pushed their hair back and dried their eyes. The sun cast few shadows in its noon heat.

"Oh great, we probably have to defeat some monsters or something..." Neara cleaned her glasses and squinted into the distance. She couldn't tell the difference, but she hoped it would reveal something new.

"If we're the protagonists of an anime, we'll naturally learn kung-fu! Or at least get some butt-kicking protectors!" Shay's arms chopped through the air.

"Shay... what if we never get home though?" Glassy eyes, from fear, not the wind, stared unseeingly ahead, as if the mere contemplation of the future blinded her.

"Hey, man, don't cry." Shay pulled her friend into a hug. "Neara, we're going to be okay. We're anime protagonists! We always live to the end, we always have super powers, and, most importantly, we can't die. We're going to be fine. Stop crying so we can figure out our destiny!"

"I'm going to cry for a little bit..." Her hair knotted beneath her fingers. "I'm a little overwhelmed right now, sorry."

"We should dye our hair pink or purple or something awesome so it's obvious we're the main characters. We look too much alike to be easily distinguishable. I'll go bright pink or something, and you can go blue! And don't be sorry for crying." She let go of Neara. "Crying is good for the soul."

"Why blue?"

"Isn't blue your favorite color?"

"No, it's purple."

"Oh. Don't know when that changed. But whatever, you can dye your hair purple then!" Shay looked around herself again and tried again. "I don't see anything to dye your hair with at the moment, but rest assured, something will come up. Or our hair will get drastically altered, like caught in a tree branch and we have to cut it to escape!" Her voice rose in excitement.

"Escape what?"

"I don't know; whatever monsters or demons this world has to offer." A wolf howled in the distance, answered by others who sounded much closer. "Uh-oh."

"I know they're wolves... I just want you to tell me they're not and we're not in danger. Why are you making that face?"

Shay's face relaxed from its tensed position. "I was trying to summon a fireball or something. I want to start practicing my powers as soon as possible. I don't want to be one of those damsel in distress types." No fireball appeared, to their slight surprise.

Growling echoed behind the trees directly beneath their feet. "Maybe we should get higher up first?" Neara pulled on Shay's arm and they ran to the closest tree. She looked up, and shook her head. "It's too short! They could jump on the branches and climb it!"

"I mean, we also need to climb the tree..." Shay got out before Neara pulled her to a different one. The growling got closer as both girls pulled themselves up to the taller branches. "I think I should just point out that if they have our scent, they're going to be down there for a long time, and I only have 3 granola bars in my backpack so..."

"Sh!" Neara held a finger to her lips. "We need to be quiet in case someone is with them, like a hunting party or something."

Shay whispered, "They're going to notice a hot pink shirt and two white girls in a tree. You know that, right?"

"...Shit..."

Long black shapes slowly emerged from the undergrowth and began sniffing around. A few of the wolves ran ahead while the rest fanned out in a dark pattern against the stone and dirt. Shay held her breath as one of them circled the tree. It appeared to signal the others and they gathered underneath. The sharp bark dug into their arms and needles pricked their hands as they grasped the branches. Neara adjusted herself slightly and a sharp crack echoed outwards. A wolf looked up, lip curling away from sharp white teeth.

An orange blur appeared next to the wolves and roared. A second animal joined and the wolves growled in response. The two leopards stood back to back and lashed out at the wolves, knocking one to the ground. The second leopard ripped out a wolf throat in one movement, blood spurting up the tree trunk and splashing Neara's shoes. The wolves cowered away from the first leopard walking towards them and ran, tails held low to the ground.

The two leopards bumped heads by the carcass of the wolf and began washing themselves. They moved with a slowness and ease born from power and an undeniable knowledge of how to use it. The larger one flattened its ears and bared its teeth. Low chuffs and growls passed between them and the shorter one opened its mouth and pressed its face close to the ground. Its head followed a line from the ground to the trunk and its eyes locked with Neara's.

"... I think we're about to die..." breathed Neara.

"Probably. Leopards climb trees. Why are you so far away I can't hug you in terror?"

"You're really not taking this seriously." She pulled back a little to stare at Shay.

"Course not. If this isn't an anime, it's obviously a dream. I have waking dreams all the time." Shay paused. "Though this feels crazy realistic, even for my vivid dreams."

Flakes of bark fell from the tree as Neara rushed over and held her friend tightly. The leopard crunched into the tree, claws sinking into the bark, and grabbed each of their backpacks in its teeth. Shay screamed while she slapped at any part of him/it she could reach while Neara kicked at its throat.

The smaller leopard's ears perked up. They descended with a crash. "I can't believe..." it seemed to say

"Neara, stop screaming!"

"AHHH--eh?"

"I think the leopard just talked."

She sniffed. "What?"

The leopards' features shifted like they were under a strobe light. Fangs receded into the gums, eyes moved towards the hairline, noses shortened, hair seemed to pull into the scalp from all over their bodies. Two naked men suddenly stood before them, one a bit more proudly than the other.

Both their mouths fell open. Neara's hand reached across slowly and grabbed Shay's fingers. "Shay..." she whispered.

Shay covered her eyes.

"You are females?" The tallest one spoke, golden-red curls falling into his eyes and almost getting lost in their fire. "From what tribe?"

"Of course they're females! Look at them!" The proud one shook his head. 2 stripes arched above his eyebrow and the second had stripes near the corners of his jaw. "Could they be anything else?"

Shay smiled and peeked out between her fingers. "We're in an animal morphing anime? Sick. I wonder if we can turn into animals too?"

Neara kept her eyes on the shorter one and tried to swallow her fear.

Both men cocked their heads to the side. "Anime?" the shorter one inquired.

"They must be from a far away tribe and know words we don't use here."

The stripes above his eyebrow moved up as he studied them. Neara felt exposed and circled her arms around herself.

"We will take them to the village."

"They're the prettiest females I've ever seen. Their skin is so..." The tall one reached out a finger and stroked Shay's arm softly, his claw-like fingernail brushing against her arm hair.

Shay's eyes popped open and she scooted backwards. "No touch!" Her eyes traveled down and instantly regretted it, snapping a hand back to her eyes.

The men nodded and crouched down; their forms melted like candle wax, features running and smoothing out until two large leopards stood before them again.

Shay squeaked when the tallest one dashed between her legs, lifting her high in the air. Neara clenched her thighs together, but the leopard used his teeth to pull her onto his back. The forest whipped past them in a blur of green and brown. Neara's eyes screwed shut and Shay made muffled squawking noises.

The two stopped by a small stream and shook the girls off. They flickered back to human-ish and collected handfuls of mud. The tall one approached Shay and the shorter one held his hand towards Neara.

"We don't want the other males trying to take you away." He smeared mud on Shay's face until she was almost completely covered. Her sky-blue eyes gaped from the darkness and her features were obscured to the point of inhuman.

"You can leave those sticks on your face," the tall one said to Neara. "Everyone will think you are sickly or have strange tastes."

She scowled. "That's how I see!"

"You can't see through branches and sticks." He growled at Shay. "Don't wash it off or I'll claw your face so it won't be pretty again."

"If you claw my face and I'm not pretty, why would you want to be with me?" The two men stepped back in shock. "You 'claimed' me because I'm pretty, but if you claw my face, I won't be pretty."

The taller one raised his hand to strike her and the shorter one grabbed it tightly. "You forget your place, Parker."

A laugh sputtered out of Shay. She raised a hand to cover her mouth. "Parker? We're in an anime where a love interest is named Parker?" Hysterical laughter burst from her mouth as fear, anxiety, and exhaustion overtook her senses. From a bakery to almost certain death to shallow leopard men who thought wearing glasses made you ugly. This had been a hell of a day and her mind had given up all pretext of fear at this point.

"I don't understand what you mean by 'anime', but that is my name. And I'm happy you have grown to love me already." A crooked smile exposed dimples deeply embedded in his cheeks. Shay tried desperately to avoid looking at his lower ones. "We should be going. The village isn't far from here, but I like to be home when night falls." The two leopards reappeared and motioned for the girls to get on their backs. Shay wiped a tear from her eye and complied, still grinning.

The first thing they noticed when they hit the village was the stench of urine. Shay saw a small collection of wood huts surrounding a circle of tamped down earth. A large fire pit in the center attracted the most attention, perhaps due to the large gazelle dripping blood, or the small leopard cubs underneath catching drops on little pink tongues.

A group of men, clothed in rough furs, approached them. "Parker! Calvin! You've arrived!"

Another voice called out, "What is on your back?" The leopards turned into men again, the girls clutched in their arms. What little of Shay's face not covered in mud colored beet red while Neara closed her eyes and tried not to think of the mini-man located directly beneath her rear end.

"They're so pale..."

"Nobody touches them!" Parker roared, his stripes almost vibrating in his rage. "We have claimed these females for ourselves. They will be ours!" A red fang Shay hadn't noticed before (for obvious reasons) bounced on his chest.

"Get out of my way!" A shrill voice came from the back of the crowd. The men parted to let a group of women through. Neara looked at Shay, eyes round with shock. The village seemed populated with only men; men who looked like models. The women, though... "Parker, where did you find that filthy female?"

"I'm the one who picked her up. This is my female, so you better back off!" Parker scowled in her direction.

"Ha! Parker, you are a fool. She obviously doesn't know how to clean herself." She looked at Neara and her yellow eyes narrowed. "And this one already has odd spouse markings! Someone will be looking for her, although I don't think they'd look very hard." She smirked.

"Telling Parker he has bad taste in females just because he didn't accept your advances won't make him like you more, Eudora." said Calvin.

Her mouth opened in shock, but Parker and Calvin just turned and walked down a nearby street. "Parker, you bastard! How could you be like this? Hmph... there's no way that I'm worse than that filthy female." She crossed her arms beneath her sagging chest while the men around her patted her hair.

"Calm down; our Eudora is the most beautiful female!"

"We shouldn't talk to Parker for this disgrace." A male rubbed his head against her arm, desperate for attention.

"Parker was blind to reject you!"

Their praises faded into the distance. The men walked to a cabin near the edge of a cliff. It was a small, one-room affair with a thatched roof and a firepit in the center. Parker walked inside and put Shay on the ground. He turned to close the door.

"Wait! What are you doing?" Shay said.

"Shutting the door. I don't want other males sniffing around you."

"I don't want to be away from Neara! Where I go, she goes." She walked to the door and pointedly ignored his...point.

He smirked and stepped back. "Hear that, Calvin? Two females in my house..."

Calvin pushed through the door, still clutching Neara. "And two males. If our females prefer their company, then I will just have to live with you to make her happy." He sat down and Neara blushed, awkwardly bundled in his arms and legs.

Parker frowned and shut the door. "That's not fair... this is my territory..."

Calvin's nose wrinkled. "I'm aware. They must have come together, so their separation would be a shock to their delicate systems. I will remain with you until they recover; then I will leave for my own territory. And take my female with me." His last sentence sounded like a growl.

Parker walked to a dresser and pulled out some furs. He threw a small bundle to Calvin. "Cover yourself while you're in my territory, then."

The furs hit him on the side of his head. "That's fine. My female has already seen what I have to offer." He released Neara and stood.

She quickly walked to Shay's side, almost skipping in her hurry. "Shay..." she whispered. "Where the hell are we? Why is everyone naked?"

"I don't know... I'm more interested in why all the females look like dumpster trucks and the men look like models."

"Females." Parker approached them. "I will go hunting for both of you while Calvin guards my territory. He is doing this as a favor to me." He glared at Calvin. "I will be back with food." He turned into a leopard and ran out the door, his exit silent and graceful.

Neara looked at Shay, then at Calvin, dressed in fur and stoking the fire.

"Did you see his..."

"I mean... hard not to."

Neara blushed again and bit her lip. "How do we get out of here?"

"I have no idea. They don't seem to have any flushing toilets or... any kind of technology. I was hoping for a Yugi-oh world but I guess animal shape-shifting will work too. What do you think our destiny is here?"

"You're still on about anime? I'm freaking out over here!" She grabbed Shay's arm and pulled her closer. "They're talking like they're going to rape us and judging by how ugly the other girls are, every other guy will want to do it too. We're trapped and we can't shapeshift and we can't escape and we're going to die from being raped by leopard men!" Her eyes were large behind her glasses and she chewed her bottom lip nervously.

Shay shook Neara's grip off and clutched her friend's face. "Neara, look at me. Look at me!" She waited until their eyes met. "We're going to be fine. The people here talk like they're in third grade, so rape is probably outside of their intended audience. I didn't see any babies with the women, so they probably don't even have sex! Women may be objects here, but you and me have more brains than anyone else. We're going to be fine. Look at me." She pulled her so close their noses touched. "You and I are going to be fine, and we'll find a way back home. Or at least wake up."

The light outside had dimmed considerably when Parker returned and stood by the door with a small animal in his arms. "Tell me, female, what flavor do you like your meat?"

Neara looked at her friend in confusion.

Shay rolled her eyes and whispered, "I'm 'his' female, so he probably means me." In a louder voice, she said, "What flavors are there?"

"I like pinewood and sandalwood. If you prefer something else, I can cut it down later."

Shay shrugged. "Let's try the sandalwood then." She observed the lack of cookware and asked, "Do you have any rice? It goes pretty well with meat."

Parker's face darkened and he dropped the animal with a bloody plop. He crossed to her and pinned her to the wall with one hand, the other gripping her wrists. "Don't you dare even think about it! It's all because you females like to eat rice that us males die of fatigue from working in the fields! I can get you whatever you want, but rice is impossible! I despise those entitled females!" He dropped her, picked up the carcass and turned to the fire. His tail lashed behind him as he prepared the meat.

Neara raced to her friend and looked into her suddenly disillusioned eyes. "Shay?"

Shay stared at the ground and slowly sank to a sitting position. Her knees pulled up to her chin and her arms wrapped around them. She mumbled something and buried her face in her arms.

"Shay..." Neara dropped to her side and gingerly laid a hand on her shoulder. "Is it okay if I do this?"

"I don't want to be touched right now..." she muttered.

"Listen here, dickbag!" Neara stood and shouted at Parker. "You can't just yell at her like that! She just asked if you had any rice and you completely freaked out on her! You could have just said, 'Sorry, rice is too hard to harvest so we don't have any right now' but no. You had to yell at her because she didn't know the rules of your stupid village. I don't care how the rules are here, you can't treat her like that, and you can't treat me like that!" She shakily folded her arms across her chest. "We obviously don't come from around here, so you can't be an asshole and yell at us just because you had a bad day!"

Parker looked shocked and Calvin stared. "Female..."

"And my name's Neara! I heard the other girl's name was Eudora, so obviously the females have names. I'm Neara, and she's Shay, and you'll treat us like human beings, even if you're animals." Her voice quaked and broke on the last sentence.

Shay looked up and sniffed.

Neara hunched back down to hug her tightly. "I'm sorry he yelled at you..."

"You yelling at them was pretty awesome though..."

Calvin coughed and waved the smoke away. "We are sorry, fe... Shay and Neara. We didn't mean to offend you." He gently smiled. "Parker should know better than to raise his voice to his female."

Each second that passed while they