Thirty-Six

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Thirty-Six: Break Me & Take Me

        My leg bounces up and down and my mind wanders off as Anthony and Kaitlyn say their vows to each other. While I know I should be focused on them like everybody else is, I can't help but look around at the open fields around me. I feel vulnerable and exposed and I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen.

       Something bad doesn't necessarily mean something dangerous. Maybe it's something simple like Anthony tripping down the isle or the cake falling over. Either way, my emotions are on full display and Haley keeps asking me what's wrong.

      "Don't make me stop this wedding and get Jace on you," Haley whispers to me.

      I shake my head, not even managing to get a smile out. I usually laugh when Haley threatens me with Jace. For some reason, she has it fixated in her head that I actually listen to Jace.

     Reality is I will always do what I want, regardless of who I am with.

      "Could you at least stop shaking your leg? Your dress is riding up," Haley points out, grabbing ahold of the silky material to pull it down my thighs.

I seize the shaking of my leg, but then move to pick at my finger nail polish instead. Haley grabs my hand before I get to scratch any off, making me sigh.

My last resort is to chew the skin of my lips off, and I start chewing at the bottom left, trying to calm myself down and distract me in anyway I can.

"And do you, Anthony, take Kaitlyn to be your lawfully wedded wife?" I hear the officiant ask.

"I do."

Before he asks Kaitlyn the same question, I'm zoning back out.

Last night, Haley admitted to setting me up. She told me how she drove past Oliver's on her way to pick up lunch and nearly wrecked her car when she saw my name. Apparently it was a fairly new change, meaning he did it after he saw me at the station.

Haley tells me I should at least talk to him and sort everything out and be his friend, but I don't think I could ever be just friends with Tyler. In my head I thought I could, but deep down I know it would never work.

You can never be just friends with someone you're madly in love with.

To top it all off, I still have Jace, who I have yet to tell about the sudden name change of the most popular restaurant in town.

Everybody around me starts to cheer and clap, and I look up to see Kaitlyn and Anthony kissing at the alter. They soon begin walking down the isle while festive music plays and everyone cheers them on.

Jace looks over at me and smiles as he passes by, but I'm unable to smile back. I still can't shake my mind that something is going to happen.

"I'm glad you wore my pearl earrings, they go good with that bracelet Jace got you," Haley comments.

"It was either pearls or my hoops," I reply back in a monotone voice.

I could tell Haley was frustrated with my lack of emotions, but I couldn't help it.

Together we both walk side by side down the isle and to the tent where the reception is being held. I already knew which table was ours. Anthony put Haley and I right at the front so we could be as close to Jace and Evan as possible.

I didn't expect to see Kristen at our table, but I was glad to see her there along with McKenzie, Caleb, Kora, Will.

I take my seat beside Kristen, with Haley on my other side. I had a perfect view of the table where Jace would be when he got back from taking pictures with the rest of the wedding party.

"I don't mean to alarm you, but your extremely attractive and rich ex-boyfriend is standing at the card table," Kristen whispers to me.

My head snaps up and I look over at the card placement table, seeing Tyler standing there and laughing with another man, presumably someone of Kaitlyn's side.

My first thought is how good he looks, but he always looks good in my eyes.

He has shaved and I want to fight him for it. I had never had a thing for beards or stubble until him, and now I can never get enough of his scratchy face.

He's wearing a spring outfit; khaki pants and a light blue blazer that's buttoned in the middle.

I don't know how he has managed to get the same exact shade of blue as my dress for his jacket, but he has done it. Tyler always manages to surprise me in some type of way.

Him being here surprises me the most. The last I had heard he was supposed to be on a business trip this week, which is why he couldn't be my date to the wedding.

"Oh my god," I hear Haley say, her eyes locked in on Tyler. "Why is he here? Did Anthony invite him?"

"We got separate invites," I answer her.

"What do you think the odds of Tyler being seated here is?" Kristen asks me.

I hadn't even thought of that. The seating chart was probably made before things took a turn for the worse between Tyler and I.

It could have been made after and Anthony just didn't care where he put people. He has Will and Haley at the same table, and Kristen and me at the same table. Even though Kristen and I are on good terms and I still consider her a dear friend, I am with her ex now.

Kristen's suggestive tone bugs me, and I have to remind myself that Tyler is free to anyone. I no longer have any claim on him, nor do I have the right to be jealous.

Besides, I'm with Jace now. I'm dating her ex. If she wants to turn this into some soap opera then she can go ahead and pursue Tyler. I'm sure she won't make it very far, but she can try.

"Tyler, my man," Will shouts, calling him over to the table.

I'm sure he was listening to our conversation, which probably encouraged him to call for Tyler. Will has always had it out for me.

Tyler parades over and Will stands, the pair giving each other a handshake and friendly hug before beginning to converse. I tried my best to focus on the conversation happening with Rebecca and Kora, but it didn't work out well and I could only hear the sound of Tyler and Will.

"Anthony came to me asking if I could cater after his original catering service cancelled so I got it all organized as fast as I could," I hear Tyler say.

"I'm glad you did. Kaitlyn wanted seafood for the wedding and I told Anthony I wouldn't come if I saw a single crawfish," Will says.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure your presence just means so much to Anthony," Tyler jokes, earning him a glare from Will.

"I can't do this," I whisper to Haley, who is leaned as far back in her chair as possible with her arms folded over her chest.

"He's here to mess with you. I'll call him out. Just give me the word," Haley says, ready to fight Tyler at any given moment.

I appreciate Haley's readiness to fight at my will in any given circumstance, but I don't think messing with me is Tyler's purpose here. I don't know what his purpose is, but I don't think he's meant to cause any harm to me.

Dinner carries on and I have devoured a good amount of food. Of course, Tyler was the 8th seat to the table and I know I will have to have a word with Anthony later for his seating arrangement decisions.

Evan and Kaitlyn's sister, Aubree, have delivered their speeches and now the first dance between Kaitlyn and Anthony is currently taking place.

I haven't had a chance to speak to Jace yet, who is stuck at a different table than me. It hasn't stopped him from taking peaks out me. I've caught him looking at me multiple times, and every time I have he's played it off cool.

Tyler and Will have talked to each other most of the night. I can tell Tyler wants out of the situation, but Will is alone here. The table is very divided like that. Pairings of Caleb and Kora, Tyler and Will, McKenzie and Kristen, and Haley and I are talking to each other and only each other.

"Then we have Octavia over here, who likes to go from brother to brother," I hear Will say, catching my attention. "Isn't that right, Tav?"

"Don't flatter yourself, William. You texted her for about three nights before she gave up on you and moved on," Haley chimes in, defending me.

The loudness of Will and Haley have drawn the attention of the entire table, who is watching the two as they bicker.

My eyes are on Tyler, who looks quite amused by the situation.

Asshole.

"It was kind of hard to talk to her when she was in love with my brother the whole time."

The statement that left Will's mouth was enough to make an awkwardness spread across the table, and make Kristen choke on her wine.

I am thankful Evan has showed up, begging couples to get out there and dance. Evan and Haley leave together, and McKenzie leaves for Harley. Next is Kora and Caleb, and I fill even more awkward when it's just Will, Kristen, and I, sitting there.

"You know what? Come on, Krissy, let's go dance," Will says to Kristen, using the nickname he's always called her.

Please, Jace. Come save me.

When I look up at the table where Jace was previously seated, he's not there.

So much for saving me.

"So, The Astros are doing pretty well right now. Took the Phillies out. Grandpa was pretty upset about that," Tyler says, trying to start conversation.

I couldn't help but laugh at his poor attempt. Tyler doesn't watch baseball, but I'm glad he remembered my favorite team.

"Are you really here to talk baseball?" I ask him.

"No," he laughs. "Not at all."

"Why are you here, Tyler?" I ask him, hoping for a real reason and not just because his restaurant is catering.

"Because you're here," he says as if it's the most obvious answer. When I don't reply back to him, he speaks again. "Dance with me?"

I look at Tyler, who looks like he's pleading for me to say yes, then look at the head table, noticing Jace is still missing. I was hoping Jace would show up at any minute, asking me to dance, but it doesn't look like that's the case.

I turn to look back at Tyler and nod before standing from my seat. He grabs ahold of my hand and leads me to the dance floor.

Flashbacks of the first time we danced at Diva's together flashed in my mind. It was such a different time then. A simpler time. A time where it was just Tyler and I. There was no drama, beside the petty fights between Jace and I that weren't uncommon.

I was happy then.

I didn't cry then.

I was at peace.

The song changes to a slower song and Tyler places a hand at my waist, pulling my front to his. He hold my right hand in his and we begins to sway together.

"I hate this music," Tyler laughs, making me giggle.

"Country music isn't that bad," I tell him and he gives me an eye brow raising look. "It's not the best, but it isn't the worst. Makes me think of where I am from and I'm damn proud of where I come from," I say.

"You're something else, Octavia Bradley," he says, shaking his head.

"Never forget it," I reply.

As we dance, the lyrics of the music playing catch my ears and I begin to wonder why they're playing such a sad song at a wedding.

So if it'd make you stay, I wouldn't act so angry all the time. I wouldn't keep it all inside and I'd let you know how much I loved you everyday.

I wished I was able to make Tyler stay. I may not have been angry with him, but I kept a lot inside. I kept secrets from him that I shouldn't have. I should have been open with him from the start.

"I sold my businesses. All but the restaurant. I'm also no longer in business with anyone. I'm a one man show now," he answer me.

I stop dancing and step back, shocked by what he's told me.

"Are you serious?" I ask him and he nods, a smile on his face. "What made you do that?"

"I wasn't doing what I wanted. It became too much about the money and pleasing other people. I sold everything and let's just say I'm pretty well off from how much everything sold for," he answers.

I can tell Tyler is proud of his decision and I'm proud of him. Him working alone means no more Kensley and that's probably the best part of this whole ordeal.

Wrapping my arms around Tyler, I pull him in for a warm embrace. I feel the familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I choose to ignore it. I can't let Tyler have that affect on me anymore.

The song ends quickly and is replaced with a happier one that has everybody jumping around us. Tyler grabs my hand and pulls me out of the crowd of dancing bodies and out of the tent, leading me down to the dock of the lake.

"Are you kidnapping me?" I ask with a laugh.

"Just for a little bit. I wanted to catch up," he tells me.

We did just that. For what seemed like hours, Tyler and I talked, explaining what has happened in our lives the past month and a half. I learn about his business aspects and about his cousin having her baby. I learn about his new interest in baseball, which he said he started watching excessively when we broke up.

     "So, you and Jace now?" Tyler asks.

      "He's my best friend. Always will be. He's been here for me so much lately. He's great," I say, thinking about how helpful Jace has been recently.

     "That's good. I'm happy for you," he says, but I can tell it's a forced reaction.

      "Thanks," I say.

      A silence falls over us, but it's a good one. I feel at peace here with Tyler.

     I can still hear the music from the reception playing in the background. Though there's no lights on the dock, the tent has enough lights peaking out to let us see the shapes of each other and our surroundings.

     The moonlight reflects on the water, and the lake is illuminated under the light. I can see fish swimming beneath the surface, along with ripples from things moving in the water.

    "So, what made you decided to give Oliver's a name change?" I ask Tyler.

     Tyler leans off of the wooden rails of the dock and shrugs.

     "Oliver's was the name the previous owners chose. I wanted to make it my own," he says as if it were nothing.

     "And you chose my name?" I ask and he nods. "Why?"

     "To be honest, it was the first thing I thought of and the only thing that I wanted. Once it popped in my head it stuck," he confesses.

      Tyler takes a step toward me and I feel my breath hitch in my throat. He places a hand on my cheek and I look up to meet his eyes.

      "I'm so sorry, Octavia. For everything. I let John manipulate me into thinking you were this monster and I shouldn't have," he apologizes.

He drops his hand from my cheek, but I grab it in my hand, missing the feeling of his hand in mine.

"I lied to you. Even if I was doing my job and trying to look out for you, I still lied. I'm sorry," I apologize to him.

     "You lied for good reason, Octavia. If it weren't for you, I'd be in a much bigger mess," he tells me. "Look, I know you're with Jace now and all, but even if it means being just friends then I would like to be back in your life."

     I wish he knew how many nights I spent crying over him, or the destruction I caused to myself from missing him. For weeks, I wasn't myself. Even nearly two months later, I'm not myself.

    I can no longer be me without him.

    "Actually, Tyler," I start, but am cut off by the sound of Jace's voice.

     "I've been looking for you everywhere," Jace says, coming into view. "Tyler," Jace greeted with a nod.

     "Jace," Tyler mimics with same nod. "I'll let you two catch up. It was good seeing you again, Octavia," He says before walking away.

     I turn my back to Jace and looked back at the water. I could feel tension between Jace and I and I knew it had everything to do with me being out here with Tyler.

Before I even have time to say anything to him, he's spun me around to face him and planted his lips on mine. I'm shocked by the suddenness of his actions, but I soon find myself lost in the kiss.

With one hand on my back and the other on my face, Jace has a hold on me. His lips are tender, and I'm a breathless mess under them.

He pulls away, leaving me breathing heavily. This time, it's his turn to turn away and look out at the water.

"Do you love me, Octavia?" Jace asks.

"Yes, always," I answer immediately.

Jace laughs, but it's a cold laugh. I'm confused by his bitterness and by his question.

"What's wrong, Jace?" I ask, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He shakes my hand off and turns to me. The light hits from the tent illuminates his face and I'm able to see the hurt and anger in his eyes and my own heart breaks knowing what is coming.

"What's wrong? What's wrong is that no matter how hard you try and convince me that I'm what you want, I can't believe you. I see the way you look at him. I hear it in your voice when you talk to him. Even the way you touch him is different. What's wrong is I know you love him and I can't be selfish with you. We are a mistake, Octavia," he barks at me.

Jace has left me speechless. I can't figure out the words to say to him. I don't know whether to deny it and fight for him, or confess the truth and let him go.

"I held you, night after night, while you cried for him. I wanted you to love me. You did love me and you still do. It's just not the same. You love Tyler. You have loved him since the moment you met him."

Again, I'm silent. I can feel my eyes brim with tears and I fight to hold them back, knowing I won't be able to stop them once they fall.

"I love you, Octavia. I love you more than you'll ever know, but at the end of the day it's not me you want. I need and want you in my life, but as my best friend and not my girlfriend."

"I understand," I finally manage to get out. "I knew the entire time that I was breaking your heart every time I cried for Tyler. We just aren't meant to be," I tell him.

"Friends?" Jace asks, a smile on his lips.

"Friends." I assure him. "No matter what, it's you and me in the end."

"Always," He says before embracing me in a hug. "I'll go send Watson back out here."

I thank Jace and watch as he leaves.

I can't help but feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. If I had never met Tyler, there isn't a doubt in my mind that Jace would have been the one for me.

Tyler just consumes me. Every part of me beats for every part of him.

I think back to the kiss between Jace and I and how it felt. There was definitely a feeling in it, but not how it feels with Tyler. I didn't realize that the entire time we were kissing, we were really kissing goodbye.

I hear footsteps creeping up, but I keep my eyes focused on the water. I feel too happy in this moment. I know there's a possibility that Tyler doesn't think of me like that anymore and only wants to be friends, but I also know that's most likely not the case.

"Guess what?" I say, turning to greet Tyler with the news.

"Doesn't matter. Let's go," a different voice answers.

Before I can even react, a hand

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