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     One: Realizations

        The tips of my thumb nail scratch over the polish of my middle finger, picking the nude color off the nail. My eyes dart around the room, never settling on a single place for longer than a few seconds. I can feel eyes on me, but I avoid finding the owner of them.

    The last thing I wanted to be doing was looking at him.

     Actually, I didn't mind looking at him. His blonde hair is short at the sides and longer at the top and he wore it slicked back. It was never a favorite hair cut of mine on a guy, but he seemed to make it look amazing. His skin is pale, but not a snow pale. Just pale. His eyes are dark blue and covered with long lashes.

    I would kill to have long lashes like him.

    He easily stood a good four or five inches over my 5'6 frame. He lacks muscles, which always shocks me considering his job requires a lot of physical fitness.

    It also requires handcuffs, not that that is anything of importance.

      "You're going to mess up your nails if you don't quit," Haley, my best friend, whispered in my ears over the loud music.

     "It's a little too late for that, sis." I say back to her with a slight attitude, continuing to pick the nail polish all the way off of my nails.

      Haley rolls her eyes and slaps at my hands, making me stop the picking process.

     "You're freaking out over nothing. He totally likes you," Haley assures, taking a sip of her drink after.

      "I'm sure," I say in a sarcastic tone, darting my eyes back over to him.

      He laughs loudly to something that Anthony has just said to him. His face scrunches and up and his eyes close tightly. Only Anthony and I can make him laugh like that and I'm glad he has Anthony around to cheer him up.

      "Go talk to him. You've been avoiding him all night," Haley says to me.

      She is right. I have been avoiding him. I have my reasons though. One of them has to do with the girl at his apartment, waiting for him to leave the bar and come home. The other has to do with Haley pointing out him seeing me as more than just a friend.

     Two facts that definitely do not coincide with each other.

     "Haley, I love you, but you're going to make this worse than it already is," I tell her, still not meeting her eyes as mine are completely locked onto Jace.

      "And, Octavia, I love you, but you already made it worse by showing up here tonight. You knew what was going to happen when you told him you were coming," Haley snaps back, turning around in her seat to see exactly where I was looking at.

      She was right. Jace invited me and I said I would come. It doesn't make sense to avoid him all night.

      Then again nothing about Jace and I makes sense.

       "And besides, you guys are friends and have been for years. It isn't like it would be weird or anything," She tries to convince me.

       "Like it won't be weird? Sis, it wouldn't be weird if you didn't convince me that he and I had feelings for each other," I shoot back.

       Jace and I had always been good friends. But that was it - just friends. I had never looked at him more than that. I mean, we were very different from each other. I had a wild side, and he always followed the rules. I never saw anything in black and white, always looking for the gray in my answers in "what if?" while he wanted the yes or no answer. I was funny, and he was the laugher. We picked at each other constantly, but it was always in good fun I had thought.

      I had thought until Haley met him and started pointing out he was flirting.

      "I didn't have to do much convincing on your part, Octavia," Haley chimes. "The second I told you that you liked him you denied it, then every time after that you denied it less and less until you admitted your own feelings."

      "Yes, but in my defense I never would have realized I had feelings until you decided to play matchmaker," I spit.

       I roll my eyes at her and push my long, auburn hair back behind my ears. I told myself I would curl it tonight to look extra good, but ended up straightening it as always. I still look good, my makeup is killer and my outfit looks like it was put together by a professional. I take pride in how I make myself go from looking like a 2 to an 8.

     Jace's eyes meet mine and my breath gets caught in my throat, knowing he just caught me staring. He smiles wide and pushes himself off the bar wall, making his way through the crowd of bodies standing around the bar until he's standing directly in front of mine and Haley's table.

     He reaches his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug.

      I immediately put my arms around his waist, hugging him back. I left my face press against his chest, taking in the smell of him.

     Maple.

      Jace pulls away and gives a nod to Haley, who smiles and says hello. They say their greetings, that quickly turn into goodbyes as Haley is ditching me to go get more drinks for us.

       Jace slips into the seat across from me where Haley just was.

      "I told you to text me when you got here," he says to me, disappointment laced in his voice.

       "I know. I read it and decided to test your patience and leave it on read," I shrug, a smile toying at my lips.

       I loved getting on his nerves.

       He starts at me with a scowl for a few seconds, but it didn't last as a smile starts to creep onto his face.

       "Octavia Bradley, always testing my patience," he says to me, his head shaking as he does.

     "That's what I'm here for," I comment.

      Silence falls over us and I'm quick to break it, never liking the quietness. Even if it wasn't quiet from the loud music and chatter going on around us.

       "Tell Anthony and Evan to come over. I haven't seen Evan in a hot minute," I say to him, referencing the two idiots he brought with him.

      Jace nods and hops from his seat, quickly making his way back to his previous spot where Anthony and Evan stood. Seconds later the three boys are all perched around the small, high top table.

     "Octavia, baby!" Evan slurs, throwing his body onto mine in a hug.

      He absolutely smelt of nothing but alcohol and I already knew he was completely wasted. Odds are he's at least ten shots in already and the night has only just begun.

     Typical Evan.

     "I needed you earlier. You're the best wingman. These other guys suck."

     "No, Evan. It's just really hard to talk you up," Anthony laughs, patting his friend on the back.

     "Even though I just saw you the other day, it's good to see you again, Octavia," Anthony speaks to me this time.

      I love Anthony. You would never imagine him to be the sweetheart he is based on his appearance. He's a big guy, a well foot taller than me. His body is built larger to fit his tall frame. His skin is dark, just like his hair and eyes. Dark exterior, but a ray of sunshine on the inside.

     "You too," I smile at him.

      "Sappy. Lame. Gross. Everything you are, Tavi," Evan says, laughing at his own joke.

       "Old. Single. Still living with a roommate. Plays video games all -" I start but Evan cuffs a hand over my mouth before I can finish.

      "Hey!" He shouts as his hand made constancy with my mouth. He pulls it away slowly, eyes squinting at me as he speaks. "The ladies can't know that."

      I scoff at him and how he attempts to get women. Evan was the only single guy in the group. I had thought about pursuing him once. He makes me laugh and we get along great, but Evan is far from my type and the ten year age difference may be good for some people, but it doesn't appeal to me.

      "Where's Kaitlyn at?" I ask Anthony, noticing his blonde side kick is nowhere near his side, a quite rare event.

      "She went to visit her mom this weekend. I was going to go with her, but with work being as frantic as it has been I really needed to catch up on some sleep and me time, ya know?" Anthony answers.

       I nod at him. I definitely need me time.

       "Tell her I miss her when you can," I say to Anthony and he smiles and nods.

         Anthony and Kaitlyn definitely won the award for the cutest couple. I love seeing how in love they are. He treats her so good and I can only envy that.

       "You never say you miss Kristen anymore," Jace points out.

       Because I have feelings for her boyfriend, I want to say.

       "She hasn't talked to me in such a long time. She never comes out anymore," I point out.

        Kristen and I use to be good friends. I remember the time I absolutely hated Jace and only put up with him for Kristen's sake. She would always tell me to give it time and his fun side would come out eventually. Now Jace is my best friend and Kristen and I don't talk. It's weird how the tables have turned, but it isn't my fault. Kristen really did stop coming around.

        "She's just busy with work is all," Jace says, defending his girlfriend of seven years.

        "Well, when you see her tonight tell her I miss her too," I tell him.

        "If I see her tonight. I'm usually in bed by time she gets home and gone for work before she's awake," he says.

        I can see it in his eyes it hurts him and I hate that for him. Kristen is sweet, she compliments Jace well. Things just aren't the same anymore and I don't know if that's Kristen's fault for being busy with work, or my fault for always taking her boyfriend's free time.

     It wasn't just me that took his free time. Meeting up at the bar after work just became a weekly thing for us ever since I turned 21 and actually became legal to drink. Years later and now it's just tradition.

     It was tradition at least. Things have been falling apart lately and our weekly meet ups haven't been as weekly as we would have liked. Work really has been killing all of us. Evan at the airport with everyone flying for the holidays. Anthony at the hospital as the colder weather has brought in even more sick people. Jace at the police station as crime has been getting higher. Then me at the clinic as seasonal depression hits.

     Work consumed all of us.

     Haley comes back with two drinks in her hands, both non alcoholic since we decided to drive separately. I desperately needed an alcoholic drink, though. I felt tense and it had everything to do with how good Jace looked right now.

      "Okay, now that everyone is here," Haley starts, clapping her hands together. "Who is ready to get their ass beat at pool?"

       Anthony and Evan both raise from their seats, placing bets on who is going to win, even though they both know it's going to be Haley.

      Haley always wins.

      I watch as the three of them skip off to the other side of the bar where the pool tables were. I knew Evan had way too much to drink to even be handling a pool stick, but I knew it would be funny to watch.

      "So," Jace starts as soon as it becomes just him and I again. "Caleb still bothering you?" He asks and my heart sinks.

      "Caleb can go to hell," I spit, venom in my voice.

       Jace smiles and shakes his head, repeating the motion he did just before.

       I love his smile.

       "It'll be two more days before you both are on good terms again and we have to listen to him go on about how great you are. I guarantee it," Jace bets.

       "What can I say? I am great," I boast, flipping my hair over my shoulder and sticking my tongue out for a brief second.

       "I can't disagree on that," he says to me, making my cheeks burn.

       Thank god for foundation.

       "Caleb just pisses me off. Like, yes I can be a bitch sometimes but it's always with love. I just have that bitchy attitude in a joking way. He knows that and still chooses to take my attacks personal," I say.

       "Yes, but you could ease off him a bit since you know how he is. He's a good guy," Jace says to me.

        It annoys me that Jace always tries to be a peacekeeper among the group, but still manages to stir the pot at the same time. It's like his goal is to make us fight so he can be the hero that comes in to fix everything.

        "Okay, dad," I scoff. "Caleb can suck my dick is all I'm saying."

         "And tomorrow you will be fighting Evan for saying anything bad about him. You guys are toxic."

         "You're toxic," I laugh, letting my playful side take over.

          Caleb is a good guy, we just don't mesh well. Any sort of jokes or playfulness I say he takes it to heart. He could call something stupid and I would say he's stupid, in the most playful tone and laugh, and he will get offended. I can't handle that all the time.

       That, and the fact he calls me a bitch behind my back.

       "You know he's in love with you right?" Jace points out.

       "Everyone's in love with me," I once again boast, this time in a playful manner.

       Jace doesn't say anything, just stares at me and I begin to feel small under his heavy stare. I don't say anything, though. After getting comfortable with Jace, I don't feel like something always has to be said. I can be silent with him.

      It feels like minutes past before the both of us even make a move. Jace stands from his seat and comes around to my side, reaching a hand out for me to take.

       "Let's go watch Evan look like an idiot," he says, and I grab his outstretched hand.

        Jace leads the way through the crowd of people, but his hand never let's go of mine. A small gesture, but enough to make me feel warm on the inside of my stomach.

        I have to remind myself it's nothing. Friends call each other great all the time and it doesn't mean anything, just appreciation. Friends hold hands sometimes, I think. Doesn't mean anything, though. Just small acts of kindness.

        When we reach the pool table, Evan is basically laying on top of it, his body stretched across the with his feet hanging off. He has his pool stick in his hand, and with he uses both hands at the base to strike the white ball, hitting nothing but the sides of the table.

      Everyone laughs at him, but he shakes it off, hopping off the table.

      "You win some, you lose some." He shrugs.

      I laugh at him, but my laugh is cut short when I feel Jace move in closer beside me, leaving down until his lips are just against my ear.

      "You look beautiful tonight, by the way," Jace breathes, his lips brushing against my ear as they move.

      Friends definitely don't do that.

      I feel my body shiver as he speaks and I am completely shocked after the words leave his mouth.

     Jace let's go of my hand and steps away from me, and I immediately miss his body being beside mine. I frown, looking anywhere but at him in this moment.

      Just act normal, Octavia.

      Instead of talking to Evan, Haley, or Anthony, who are all way too invested in this game, I opt to make my way outside, needing a breath of fresh air.

       As soon as I turn my back to leave the pool table, I feel a hand clamp down on my wrist and bring a halt to my movement.

       I turn to come face to face with Jace, his eyes looking full of worry.

       "Where are you going?" He asks me.

        "I need some fresh air," I say, bringing my usual tone to he conversation so he knows I am okay.

       "Do you want me to come?" He asks me.

        Yes.

        "No. I will only be a few minutes. I'll be fast don't worry," I say to him, my eyes still not meeting his.

        Jace nods and lets me go and I turn back on my feet, heading to the exit of the small bar. As soon as I am outside, I let take a deep breath and let it out, a way to calm myself.

        I start walking, knowing the street front is lined with benches where I can take a seat. I'm blessed to find the first one only a few feet from the bar.

      My bare legs press against the cold metal as my dress rides up. I tug at the black material, but it's no use. This had to be the shortest dress I owned, which doesn't even make sense since it isn't even form fitting.

      My jean jacket does all the work of keeping me warm. Even though it's not that cold out, I can't help to feel a little chilly without my legs covered.

       I watch across the other side of the street as people walk down. It's night time, but the street lights and shop lights do a great job at illuminating everything so I get a perfect opportunity to people watch.

      Groups of people make there way down, and I smile at the couples that pass by. I miss being in a relationship. Ever since Elliot broke my heart, loving anyone else has been hard. I have moved on, but I still don't know exactly how to get out there again.

      I guess I just have to wait it out.

      Minutes pass by and it feels like it's been hours of just sitting on this bench. I know I can't stay here long or I will end up being the one who has to take Evan home. Screw Evan and his inability to just causally drink.

      I let out a deep sigh at the though, but I'm quick to cut it off as I feel someone's body weight sit down beside me on the bench. I don't look, trying not to seem nosey at the person who would choose to sit beside me instead of the other dozen empty benches.

     My plan to avoid this strangers presence was cut short when I heard their voice speak beside me.

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