96. Paris Wills, Age 17, December 16, 2019

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"I can't do this!" Gray exclaims as he speeds down the hallway of Santa Barbara High School, walking in such long strides that it's hard to keep up, even though I'm almost as tall as him now.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're the bravest person I know and you can't sing a few bars for a callback?" I question, trying desperately to cool my boyfriend down. The director posted the callback list at lunch. Sure enough, Gray's name was on the list. I never doubted that the director would recognize his phenomenal talent. Despite Gray's accomplishment, he's been a nervous wreck all afternoon worrying about callbacks.

"You don't understand!"

Immediately I take hold of Gray's hands and twirl him around, stopping my fast-paced boyfriend before he can keep moving.

"Then make me understand," I plead earnestly, begging him to open up to me. I know I can't understand exactly how Gray feels, but I can certainly try. That's what couples do. They listen. They learn. They help.

"When I'm singing in front of a crowd of people, it's certainly intimidating, but then I start singing the words and nothing else matters. I'm in the zone and nobody can take that away from me. But when I'm in front of a director, no one else except them, all I can think about is how much they're judging me. In that moment, I must do well or I'll fail and lose my chance at playing Billy Flynn. And I know this role isn't the most important thing in my life, but that doesn't mean I don't want it any less."

"Gray, you managed to get a callback after 'failing' your audition. Clearly, the director has noticed your talent. Now, all you have to do is show them that you're better than all the other guys. And I'll be right outside the auditorium, waiting there to hear the news that the love of my life has scored the role of Billy Flynn."

The lines on Gray's forehead quickly disappear, and I can only hope that what I've said is enough.

"You're my rock, you know that?"

Gray pulls me in for a tight embrace, his hot skin melting into mine with a sun-kissed radiance that warms me up inside and out. Our tender moment is cut short by Gray's friends from Drama Club alerting him that callbacks are about to begin.

Promptly, we all make our way to the auditorium. I give Gray one final good-luck kiss before sending him off, biting my lip in quiet desperation as I await the news I already know in my heart.

When I was down, Gray picked me up. Even in the darkest moments, he was there for me. He'll always be there for me, and I'll always be there for me. Gray says I'm his rock, but he's my rock too. We support each other like two weights keeping a scale in perfect alignment. Anytime life gets too difficult, we take on the weight of each other's struggles to save us from the pain. I can't imagine living another day without Gray there by my side, and I hope and pray there will never come a time when we drift away.


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