41. Paris Wills, Age 16, August 19, 2019

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I haven't been writing much poetry lately, but inspiration strikes me everywhere I look.

Whether it's the brilliant hue of the orange creamsicle sky or the glisten in Gray's emerald eyes, I'm struck by the endless possibilities of tomorrow. I may not be putting pen to paper, but maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I've spent so much time writing down how I feel that I've forgotten to actually feel. Gray shows me the magnificent color of the world and encourages me to bathe in it day after day. There's millions of things out there for me to see and experience, and I'm not going to wait any longer.

Gray's showing me how to live, something I haven't done in a very long time.

I'm tired of refusing to live out of anguish and fear. So what if tragedy strikes? At least I have Gray to catch me if I fall.

***

"I take it last night went well?" I ask as Gray steps through my front door, carrying a bag of Chinese takeout. I usher him inside and we sit down in front of the kitchen counter. Over our meal, Gray tells me about coming out to his parents. At first, they were a little taken aback by his news. Though, after conversing for a while, they came around. It's incredible news, and I can't help but give him a celebratory round of applause. I'm so proud of Gray for having the strength to come out to his parents. Since the day I met him, I've been in awe of Gray's courage.

After dinner, Gray slides a manilla folder onto the kitchen counter.

"What's this?" I question, intrigued by the developing grin on Gray's face.

"Open it," Gray prompts.

Following Gray's instruction, I open the manilla folder and gasp when I see the array of photos sprawled inside. They're all of me from our photoshoot. Photos of me draped on the bedsheets. Photos of me puckering up for the camera. Photos of my naked torso peeking out from under the covers. I'm shocked by how confident and unapologetic I look. It's as if Gray gifted me some of his courage through his camera lens.

"Gray, these photos are beautiful!"

"You're beautiful," Gray replies, his face lit up by my joyful reaction.

I look over at him and shed a tear, unable to restrain myself.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"Nothing. It's just, I've never felt so beautiful before."

Gray stands up and drifts over to me, placing his prancing index finger on my forehead. I hold my chin up to him, my body opening like rose petals to his touch. Gently, Gray brushes his finger down my nose and along my soft, wet lips.

"I've never met someone so beautiful before," Gray whispers delicately as his finger pulls away from my lips, a trail of saliva falling away.

I let out a startled yelp when Gray's strong hands find their way around my ass, lifting me up from my seat and setting me down firmly onto the kitchen counter. His mouth finds mine and I bring him into me, wrapping my legs around his torso. My heart flutters to the sensation of Gray's lips against mine, blossoming like a flock of violet butterflies drifting through the sky. He tastes of soy sauce, the bittersweet flavor dancing on my tongue as it intermingles with his.

My fingers explore under Gray's shirt, stroking the grooves of his chiseled abdomen. I can feel his whole body vibrating against me, and a suppressed moan escapes his lips as they dance along mine.

Meanwhile, Gray's hands find their way to my nipples. His fingers swirl the tender area there, earning a muddled groan from me. I've never experienced such a stimulating sensation from that part of my body before. It's weird and unexpected, but astounding nonetheless.

Gray's tongue slips under mine, throwing off my balance. Before I have the chance to fall, Gray's big hands catch me, wrapped tightly around my waist. In the aftermath of my near-decent, Gray and I tickle each other with the vibrations of laughter pouring from our mouths. When our chuckles subside, I stare up at Gray and notice flecks of glittering gold in his brilliant green eyes. We fall back into our rhythmic kisses, and Gray's enchanting gaze reassures me that I'm safe in his arms. It's the most comforting feeling in the world.


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