c h a p t e r. 5

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"I scream for everything that has gone wrong. I scream for everything that has broken in our lives."
—Marie Lu

chapter 5

Bar and Clementine were sitting in the gym's bleachers.

The gymnasium was an attached building that was right around the corner of the cafeteria and since there wasn't a class in session, the pair decided to take advantage of the extra space where they could speak without whispers like they had to do in the library.

The building seemed abandoned with its dim lights, silent rooms, and large open space but despite that fact, Bar found it rather relaxing.

He always enjoyed silence.

Anything that was loud or crowded reminded him of home where his father would scream for hours on it. It reminded him of shattering glass bottles, slammed doors, and the fridge being closed so roughly that it shook the house whenever his dad grabbed another beer.

In the quiet, Bar's mind found peace.

There was nothing dangerous in the quiet beside his mind and Bar had already survived the worst of what his thoughts had to offer so there weren't any outstanding cons.

His little goddess seemed to enjoy the silence too, which he was grateful for.

A lot of people thought that they needed to fill the empty space with words, they thought it was awkward and would always anxiously try to fill it, but not her.

She sat next to him as he read, humming softly as she wrote something— or drew, he wasn't sure— in her small leather-bound journal.

He didn't ask what she was doing, finding that too upfront and personal for an ex-bully.

Usually, Bar would be able to completely disappear into his book and indulge into a reality where he didn't have any worries, a reality where he wasn't stuck with himself.

Books were a way for Bar to live without loathing existence and they were probably the only reason besides Gwen, his little sister, that he was still alive.

But right now, the only thing Bar seemed to focus on was the concentrated look on his little goddess's face and how her soft voice would switch between cutely whisper-singing and melodically humming. How her pink lips were moving and how Bar had the burning urge to wrap his hands into her hair and kiss her with everything he had in him.

But he couldn't do that.

Bar thought that she absolutely wouldn't want that. Who would want their ex-bully, someone who had hurt them for years, to kiss them after only a couple hours of hanging out?

Definitely not Clementine.

Some part of her must hate Bar, he knew that.

Bar hates himself and from all the shit he put the little goddess through— even if he had his horrible, incredibly selfish reasons for doing do— even just a little sliver of Clementine must absolutely loathe Bar.

"Stupid." Clementine pouted down at the paper in her lap, her pen stilled. Bar glanced over at her with a raised eyebrow. She thinks something's stupid? Was that something Bar? "What's another word for stupid?"

"Idiotic." Bar mumbled. How could he not know synonyms for the word stupid when his father raised Bar calling him such things? "Moronic. Ignorant fuck. Foolish ass. Though you might want to censor out the vulgarity. Dumb. Dull. Dense as shit. Unintelligent. Imbecile."

"Oly?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"How do, how did you remember all those so quickly?" His little goddess asked. She closed her notebook and set down her pen, her minty eyes staring at Bar in concern. "D-did someone call you those things?"

Bar wanted to smile at how worried she sounded but didn't. He didn't like her worrying, let alone her doing so about him. Instead, he leaned towards her and gave her a teasing grin.

"No shithead calls me any names. Well, not ones I give a damn about or don't deserve." He says. "I'm a 'baddy', remember? And I knew those shitty substitutes for stupid because I'm a smart cookie, just like you." He knocks his knuckles lightly against her temple. "I know a lot of fucking words."

Clementine narrowed her eyes at Bar and instantly he threw his guards up.

The little goddess was more powerful than she knew and Bar was fully aware that she could have him on his knees in front of her, telling her anything she wanted to know.

Maybe it's a good thing, though, that she doesn't know how fucking enchanting she is.

"Y-you're lying." She murmurs, frowning.

Bar instantly wants to make her smile again but her words stalled any thought of doing so. Bar crossed his arms and moved back, a steel mask on his face.

He said nothing, neither confirming or denying her allegations.

Bar didn't know how Clementine figured out he was lying but if she did it once, the little goddess could do it again.

"Oly," Clementine whined, putting her things into her bag before moving close enough that Bar could feel her thigh pressing into his.

Bar froze.

The white, dinosaur printed skirt was insanely cute on his girl but it also left a good part of her smooth, pale legs visible.

Legs that Bar wanted to be between. Legs that he wanted to be wrapped around him. Legs that he wanted to caress and touch. Legs that he wanted to—

Bar took a deep breath and focused on those gorgeous minty eyes instead of his rather indecent thoughts.

But still, he didn't say anything, wondering what was going on in his little goddess's mind.

"I, I don't know why you lied but you d-don't deserve to be called bad n-names, Oly," Clementine said, to which he snorted in disbelief. "Are you, are you being bullied?"

Bar couldn't help but to laugh.

Him, bullied?

Anyone who even gave him just the wrong fucking look got scared shitless by his glare, too scared to even think about bullying him.

Bar's father, on the other hand, was a completely different story.

Not that he'd tell her that, though.

"No, sweetheart," He grabs her chin and pulls her closer. He lightly kisses her forehead and releases another chuckle. "No one bullies me."

A small blush coated her cheeks and Bar smirked as he moved his lips lower and kissed her flushed skin, enjoying how warm and soft she felt underneath his lips.

"You're a m-meanie." Clementine stammered out, turning so their faces were right in from of each other, their lips a breath away from touching.

God, Bar wanted to kiss her so badly.

"Mhm," Bar couldn't tear his eyes away from her pouted bottom lip. She was so beautiful and she had no fuking idea what she was doing to him. "But not to you, so how am I a meanie?"

"You had me worried for n-no reason."

"I did?" Bar breathe out, reaching up to trace her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, babygirl. I didn't mean to worry that pretty little head of yours."

Bar doesn't think he's ever apologized so much in his life before.

"It's o-okay," Clementine said but her pout stayed.

"You can't say that then still give me that cute ass pout if yours." Bar chided. "So, tell me what's wrong."

"Hmph." She pulled away, leaving him cold and blinking away the daze she always put him in.

"Sweetheart." Bar warned, frustrated at not knowing what was going on, yet again. He didn't like upsetting her. He really, really didn't. "Tell me what's going on."

Clementine huffed and turned away from him even further.

Bar's eyes remained soft but he didn't even try to stop the stern look that covered his features as he moved to the seat in front of Clementine— still being taller than her— and grabbed her chin in a gentle but firm grip.

"I asked you something," Bar started, making her look right into his eyes. Her minty ones were wide and twinkling up at him. "Stop throwing a small, although adorable, tantrum and let me know what's wrong so I can fix it. Okay, babygirl?"

"Okay." She shyly nodded.

Bar eased his grip— satisfied in a weird way that the little goddess was so responsive to the dominant side of him— but didn't let go of her until she started talking.

"I-I don't like that you, um, that you're a meanie to yourself. And that you t-think that you deserve being called names. And I don't like that you make me blush so, uh, so easily."

Bar couldn't even bring himself to smirk at the blushing part as he stared at Clementine rather sadly.

After everything— all the hell that he brought into her life— that happened, the little goddess should've known that he wasn't a good person.

Bar pulled back almost completely.

"Bad people deserve what happens to them." Bar explained. "Bad people deserve bad things and they deserve to be called out for their bad behavior, too. So any 'mean things' that get thrown at me, I know I deserve them." And so much worse. "But I can also handle it, so please stop worrying about me."

"But—"

"Sweetheart," Bar shakes his head. "Please?"

He has made her cry more times than he could count, he bullied her and she was still kind to him. He didn't know why but he knew she was too caring to the bastard that Bar understood himself to be.

Hell would be the perfect punishment, Bar thought, because at least the devil knows how to recognize someone who deserves pain.

"Fine b-but I still think you're a good person," Clementine replied, frowning.

"Pfft." Bar made the noise from the back of his throat, standing up. "Okay, I believe you. Let's go get food."

"Liar." Clementine huffs. "You d-don't believe me and we just had lunch?"

"I believe that you believe that, for some fucking reason. Though, you're wrong." He grabbed their bags. "And correction, we were at lunch but we didn't have lunch. And although you're tiny, I still need to make sure you're fed, so let's go."

Smiling lightly through the confusion, Clementine stood up and asked, "What does, what does me being tiny have to do with food?"

"You're tiny." And so fucking beautiful. "Meaning, you probably can't eat a lot." He pokes her stomach earning Bar a heart-lightening giggle. He loved the sound.

With Bar helping her down the bleachers, Clementine spoke.

"You'd be surprised a-at what I could fit into my mouth." The little goddess says, cheeks flushing red as Bar flashes her a smirk because of her words. As he opens his mouth to make an innuendo, Clementine lightly shoves his shoulder. "Don't make a s-sex joke!"

"Sex joke?" He wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him as they walked. "I don't tell any damn sex jokes. I just tell you that I want to fuck you in various ways."

"Pfft." Clementine copies his previous words. "Okay. I-I believe you."

"One of these days," He says. "I'm going to bend that pretty ass of yours over my lap and show you how much trouble that mouth of yours can get you in."

"Oly!" Clementine scolds. Her smirk is his only reply.

°°°

Having successfully skipped the rest of the school day, Bar drove Clementine to the small diner that was right around the corner from the school.

It was a cute and peaceful place. Bar often took his little sister there and she liked the place, so he thought his little goddess would too.

He ordered himself just a piece of his favorite strawberry cheesecake and when he saw the little goddess eyeing the pancakes on the menu, he ordered those for her and an oreo shake too, remembering that she always loved those cookies.

That was two hours ago, and they had been talking ever since.

They had also set up their date for Saturday night, Bar was picking her up at eight, and he didn't tell her where they were going.

All he told her was that she should wear something comfortable to walk in.

She smiled and told him that she loved walked. He wouldn't have guessed that but Bar loved knowing all he could about her.

While they were at the diner, Bar learned a lot.

Her favorite color was purple, she loved dinosaurs and had a weird liking for butterfly stickers, she wrote her own books and poetry but no one was allowed to read it, she hated swimming but loved the rain, her favorite book was a novel by Anne Rice, and she was a Hufflepuff.

She was also a Harry Potter nerd.

When Clementine asked what house Bar was from and he answered that he was a Slytherin, it made her blush.

He doesn't know why she had that reaction, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

Taking a sip of what was now her second milkshake, Clementine says, "Tell me s-something about you that, that no one else knows."

Bar's mind flashes to his father and the holes punched into his house's walls and the bruises etched into his skin nightly.

Shaking his head lightly, he expels the thought from his head and answers.

"I really fucking like gummy bears." He says, a sheepish smirk on his face. "It's almost an obsession at this point."

"Really?" Clementine's face lights up. "I like lollipops!"

So fucking cute.

"So," Bar leans forward, smirking. "You like licking things?"

Clementine narrows her eyes.

"Don't, don't say what I know you're gonna say." She says, twisting the straw slightly. "Or I'm going to b-blush."

"Sweetheart," He laughs. "I don't need to say anything to have you blush. One touch or look alone makes you go bright red."

Clementine stuck her tongue out at him and Bar playfully snaps his jaw in reply, making her squeak and lean back in her seat.

His husky laugh floats through the diner and with crinkled eyes, he watches as the little goddess tries and fails to suppress a smile.

"That's wasn't f-funny!" She exclaims, giggling when he mimicked her gesture and poked out his tongue at her. "Oly, be serious."

"Says you, Ms. Attitude."

"I, I could say the same, Mr. Grumpy."

After a second of neither of them backing down, Bar rolls his eyes with an amused grin still on his lips.

"You're a sweet little thing, you know that?" He murmurs, looking at the milkshake. "Who likes sweet things."

"B-because sweet things are the best." Clementine easily replies. Bar stares at her lips for a second, wondering what they tasted like. She quickly adds, "Sorry, I mean, um, other things are good. But I, I prefer sweets and goodies."

Bar noticed, then, that each time he responds just a little bit too slow, Clementine began to rethink her words.

Usually, she ends up genuinely apologizing or muttering a quick reason why she thought what she did before rephrasing her question or statement someway.

Bar thought it would be incredibly cute if it wasn't so upsetting that the young goddess got nervous like that.

It made him wonder why she was so unsure of herself.

But then Bar remembered the way he bullied her and knew he must be part of the reason why.

"Sweet things are nice." He murmurs, almost absentmindedly. "But I bet you taste better."

"Hm, I-I don't know." Clementine played along, tapping her chin. "Lollipops are pretty tasty and, and so are gummy bears."

"Don't go near my damn gummy bears." Bar said, knowing he'd share his with her. "Or I'll take your lollipops."

Gasping, Clementine locks eyes with the brute. "I-I wasn't even going to try to! But, but since you're being a butt, I h-hope Gus steals them."

"I take it back. You're not sweet, you're a rude little thing when someone threatens your lollies, babygirl." Bar grumbles. "And if Gus even touches them, I'll knock him flat on his ass."

"You're such a, a meanie, Oly, and angry. I bet one lollipop that deep down you're just a big s-sweetheart."

"No bet, you're the only sweetheart between the two of us, sweetheart" Bar says, completely offended. "I might be a 'meanie' and an angry jackass on the surface but on the inside, I'm actually even angrier."

Clementine giggles. "How poetic."

"Right?" Bar snorts. "I could be the next Hughes."

"More like the next Poe." She giggles. "He was g-grumpy, too."

"Very funny, sweetheart."

"I know." Clementine giggles. "I'm hilarious."

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