Gina sat on the the edge of Gerald Dean's bed - what used to be Gerald Dean's bed - and stared at the blank walls.

Cameron wasted no time stripping his existence out of the room.

The two were never close, but it almost felt heartless to see the room so empty. She sniffed, and pressed her palms into her eyes, drying them.

Oh, Cameron. You stupid son of a bitch.

Gina startled a moment at the knocking on her door. It opened, and Cameron stepped in.

"I didn't say to come in."

He nodded. "You're right. This is as much your home, as mine. Privacy, then. I apologize. Excuse me."

Gina stood up, and reached for him. "Wait. One of us has to stop this or  both of us are going to suffer. You can't keep treating me like you don't know me."

"I don't. Maybe I never did."

Gina clenched her fists, and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "I know you don't mean that... but that's what I mean. I deny you. You deny me. We deny one another. I apologize. You ignore it. It has to stop."

"I came to tell you your dinner is ready. Roast Duck breast in orange sauce. Sides are asparagus, and roast potatoes."

Gina shook her head. "I can't stay with you, Cam. Either you don't love me anymore, and you're doing this out of some misplaced guilt... or you love me enough - so much that you hate me - and your cruelty is calculated. You're not helping me. You're not making me stronger, or tougher."

"What can I do, huh?" Cameron shut the door behind him and took a step toward Gina. "You made your bed."

"My bed was with you, asshole. Not Brenna. Not Amnesia. Not anyone but you. It's always been you."

"Except when it wasn't. Except while I've been with here with the gypsy."

"...with the gypsy." Gina crossed her arms, and Cameron flinched.

Cameron frowned. "With Marisal."

Gina nodded. "People don't call their mates 'the gypsy'. You're so full of shit! That stupid charade downstairs. I didn't buy it, and I don't buy it, Cam. What will it take for me to make you love me? How do I get your trust back? I chose you!"

"You chose me... but not The Order. You put me in a position to choose you over The Order, and I cannot do that."

"You're a shit liar, Cam! You've always been a shit liar. You're not a politician, and you're not one of the Griffords. You're not even happy being a part of The Order, the one thing you were so reluctant before you agreed to join up. I'm sorry about your father, and I'm sorry you feel so badly. I'm sorry they're holding his passing over you like it's something you have to live up to if you're going to be successful."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"Don't I? Cameron Dean, the great hero. Savior of me, and selfless to a fault. Reluctant in everything that your precious order represents, and you choose that? You're going to regret it, and worse, I'll regret it. I'll regret doing whatever it takes to win your trust."

"My trust? I beat you like a dog over some convoluted plan to win you over to The Order. I am everything you hate about it."

"No. You're everything you hate about the order, and you know it. You're at the point where you have no direction. It's so bad, you're willing to do anything to prove it wasn't a waste."

Cameron sat next to Gina. She did not flinch, or make further space between them. "When I presented my convoluted story to Grifford, he knew I was lying. He knew it, because Suheila told him so. She knew the truth. She knew, because she saw it."

"She was there."

Cameron shook his head. "In a manner of speaking."

"She's a witch."

"No. Not exactly... she's one of those other things that aren't. She can see the truth in things. She saw us there. Saw Brenna in the water. Saw me beating you. Griff just listened, and let me lie to his face. Commended me, even. Called me a hero... and then called her in, and she called me out. It was made clear that lying on your behalf was a valiant effort. That if I loved you enough to come up with such a shit plan, I must really want you. It was made clear that once was fine. Twice, though?"

"You were threatened into submission."

"I was promised. I'm no good for you, Gina. I'm no good for anyone. I promised if you didn't work out, I'd be willing to maybe accept someone else. The gypsy? I don't want to marry her. I don't want to marry first, second, or third cousins. There was only ever one woman for me, and that's off the table now."

"...because of The Order."

"No, because I beat you, and hurt you, and I did it because I believed it was the correct course of action. I am not worthy of your hand, or anyone's."

"You've never been a coward, or so defeatist." Gina lay her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her. Gina hardened her face. "Cameron, I swear to you I'll do whatever it takes to win your trust. I'll do better. I'll be better."

Cameron stood, pushing Gina off him. He turned  to face her. "Can you stop sounding like the forgiving battered housewife for just one goddamned moment?"

"You did it because you love me."

"Do you listen to yourself when you're talking? You sound like anyone who's ever let someone hurt them, excuses ad-nauseam. There is no reason, and no excuse for what I did. It is inexcusable, and unforgivable."

"...but I forgive you, anyway."

"Dinner is ready. Join me down stairs, please."

Gina turned away from Cameron. "I'm not particularly hungry, Cameron Dean. You're mine, and I'm telling you right now. I am yours. If you walk away from this one, I'll still be here. If you put me out on the street, I'll not go running back to Bishop. I'll wait in the rain if I have to. You'll be the death of me before I give up on you."

"Should I leave your plate out?"

Gina was off the side of the bed, rushing Cameron before he could react. She had him against the wall, off his feet, held up in her hand by his throat. "Even with your rites and blessings, even before I had mine, I could have taken you. I've been training longer, and I'll tell you what else. Without rites and blessings, people can still kill you. Plenty have killed people in your order with a well aimed bullet, or a lucky shot, and they weren't even trained. I fight better than you because all I've done since the day you saved me from that motherfucker, is fight. Train, and fight, and win."

"...can't breathe." Cameron held Gina's wrist with both hands, and pushed, but she did not let go.

"This is what it feels like to be powerless, Cameron Dean. This is how I feel right now. Right here!" Gina put her free hand over her heart. "When you tell me you've made a decision for the both of us, when I know how you feel, this is what it feels like for me. It doesn't feel good, does it?"

Gina dropped him, and Cameron gasped, rasping for air. Gina grasped his shoulders and threw him over her hip onto the bed, turning as he landed, and rushing up on him. She leapt, and landed on his lap, straddled him, and pinned his shoulders to the bed. "When someone takes away your freedom to choose, this is what it feels like. When someone you love - who loves you back - outright steals that from you. This is what it's like. I could hurt you, Cam. I could make you. I could take everything away, the way you've done it to me..."

"...Gina."

"...but I'm not a monster, Cam. I don't have to take what's mine for it to be mine." She rolled off him, to the side, and lay next to him. Cameron reached for her hand, and held it. He coughed a long  while, and after a while it subsided. They lay side-by-side in silence.

Cameron broke the silence. "It wouldn't work."

"You'll feel differently when I prove The Order isn't the only power in Driftwood. I don't want to have to do that. It may be too late for you by then, and baby I don't want to leave you a lifetime of mourning, and regret. Not to prove a point."

Cameron lay next to her, agonizing over what to say next, and decided saying nothing at all his best course of action.

"I know you know better. Please don't make me prove it." She turned to face him, releasing his hand. Cameron, bruised throat, and broken pride turned to face her. Gina put her arm around him, her hand at the small of his back, and pulled him to her. "You didn't beat me because you were stronger, or a better fighter. You beat me because I allowed it. We're a fucked up thing, Cam. You hurt me. I hurt you back. You're an asshole... so I act like an asshole. We don't have to be that way."

"It won't change anything."

"It changes everything. Forget dinner, Cam. Forget the finery for a night, and just stay here. We don't have to do anything, not anything at all. Just stay right here, and let me hold you. Let me have your troubles for the day, and the night. Talk about it again in the morning."

He nodded. "The gypsy's going to hate me."

"I'm sure she doesn't care."

"She's cares, G... just not as much as she cares what she can bank on. That scene downstairs..."

"Another convoluted scheme. Honesty is priceless. Money is a tired asset, and I'm a tired girl. Stay here with me."

"No. Not here."

"Cam?"

"My room. Not my father's."

"Your room, then." Gina released him, and Cameron sat up taking in the emptiness of the room around him. His expression hardened a moment, but the moment didn't last, and Cameron Dean who wept for nothing, and no one, not once in his adult life, mourned his father.

Gina sat up, propping herself against the wall, and pulled him close to her.

"Let me take you out of here. Let's go to your room, and we can both mourn. I never knew him, your father... but if he was even a little bit the man you are, he's worth the tears."

✟ ☧ ✟

They lay there together in Cameron's far-to-comfortable bed, warm pajamas, Gina staring at the profile of his face. Gina smiled. They were there hours. She held him while he wept, and wept over him. She kissed away his tears, and he stroked her hair. When the crying was done, they held each other a long time. She was the first to change, excusing herself to put on the pajamas she wore now, and then he.

His mourning was not the time for her to leave him new scars on his back, and in her healing sorrow, he knew it was not the time for him to have her.

Not like this. Not here. Not now.

Not yet.

"Marry me."

Gina grinned a crooked grin. "Cameron Dean..."

"Yeah?"

She pushed his shoulder. "It's not how I expected you to ask."

"Sorry I couldn't catch you in some frilly, girly dress on the mezzanine while sipping a spritzer. Marry me."

"You're stupid, Cam. I drink tequila." She traced the bruises on his neck. "I didn't think I left you any choice in the matter of Marriage v. The state of Cameron Dean. That whole 'this is what it feels like not having a choice tirade. You're mine."

"Then, marry me."

"You, marry me."

Cameron turned on his side. "What's the difference, G?"

"One is me getting what I want... the other is us getting what we want. What about your Judge Grifford?"

"...he's not going to be happy, but he did say I could marry you."

"...but?"

"...but if it didn't work out, I would consider a match."

Gina nodded, her grin fading. "Well, it's working out. Was there a time limit?"

"No."

"Then marry me, Cam. You say yes, and we'll work out the details later. You say yes, and one day I will give you strong sons, and daughters. You will not be the end of the line of Dean."

Cameron was quiet a long time. He considered what he did at the creek, and why. "Would you forgive me for the creek?"

"I already have."

"...G, what if I can't forgive myself?"

Gina frowned. "If you can't forgive yourself, then that's something we handle together. I'm never going to bring it up again."

Cameron nodded. "I'll marry you, if you'll marry me. It's no joke, you know? Marriage is hard enough on its own. Marriage in The Order? It can get right down into politics. Smile, though it hurts to smile. Pretend things are fine, when they're not. Lavish party this, elegant soiree that."

"I was living with Bishop, and two junkies. Bishop was easy enough to live with. The junkies - you met Mark - weren't so easy. One day at a time. One step at a time."

"I don't know why this is so hard. All I've ever wanted was you... I want to marry you. There's something else."

"As long as there's not someone else, we'll get through it."

Cameron grimaced. "I've been assigned to assist in some work out in Collings. It's only a few towns over - still Colt County - but I'll be working. There's shit cell phone reception, and no internet. Our communication would be pretty limited."

"How long is the assignment?"

Cameron made a face. "Six months."

Gina waved her hand in a vulgar display. "Six months is nothing."

"Would you let me marry you, G? Will you let me spend the rest of my life with you?"

"I will."

"I don't have a ring for you."

"I don't need a ring. We'll get branded."

Cameron raised an eyebrow. "What, like tattooed?"

She shook her head. "Hot metal. You wear a 'G'. Right there," she pushed a finger onto his shoulder. "On your left shoulder. I'll wear a 'C' on mine."

Cameron nodded. "Deal. When I get back, we marry."

Gina felt a pang of guilt, and grim satisfaction. Nothing that fate, or The Order did could stop them; not Suheila, not the gypsy, and not Bane.

Cameron planted a kiss on her forehead. "What about school? You're in your senior year."

"Yeah. I'll finish school. I've been on home study since I moved in with Bishop. I'll get the work done."

"Yeah, you and I both. I'm off to Collings in two days. Griff's orders."

"Until you leave, we'll have to make up for a lot of lost time."