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Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you. - Erich Fromm

Zee... 

I moan in satisfaction taking the cheese cake off the fork that Bricks feeds to me. We rescheduled the dinner to tonight since its my night off, and honestly I'm glad I came out with Bricks instead of staying in or going out with Ryan and the crew.

I'm actually enjoying myself that I have done in all long while. We've actually been out all day to be exact. We went to a movie, shopping and now we're ending it with dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. He was spoiling me, yes but he's not winning my heart over. I hope he knows that.

"You got something on your lip." He smirks. I giggle with hooded eyes as he leans over the table, kissing me passionately. It was a little sticky because we were both eating strawberry cheesecake and the syrup we devoured made our lips stick. He pulls back, smiling as I smiled back.

"Is it gone?" I question.

"Yea." He stretches out smoothly as he took a seat. I lick my lips, laughing going back to my dinner. We both had already ate, but I ordered another round of food. I haven't really been eating these last few days. Mostly because the worry of my brother's safety was getting the best of me. I haven't heard from him months sometimes I really do believe he's dead.

"You ok?" Bricks questions concerned. I guess he could sense me in deep thought.

"Yea just a lot on my mind." I mummer, playing with the broccoli on my plate.

"Like what?" He questions. I shake my head and sigh. Being as though Bricks is my best friend, I tell him almost everything but most things I keep to my self.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So my parents asked about you the other day. They invited you to dinner next Friday night." I nod slowly. The Gomez family was nothing but nice to me. They actually treated me like family. 

I use to love going over there when I couldn't stay home by myself. We would go on family trips to water parks or the beach. It was what I always wanted as a child. And they gave me that. 

"I'll see what my schedule is looking like tomorrow and I'll let you know." I smile.

"Don't bullshit me Zee."

"I'm not. I got you." I tell him, cutting into a piece of chicken with my fork. I know this means something to him, and I really do want to see his family. I haven't seen them since graduation, and I moved right of my parents home.

"They still in the old house?" He nods.

"Yep. They ain't moving no time soon." We both laugh into a comfortable silence.

"So what are you going to tell them when they ask about your occupation?" I raise a brow, sighing as I sit my fork down. He always seemed to bring my job up in almost every conversation.

"I'm an entertainer. You known me since day one Bricks. I keep it real, I always have. So if they ask, Ima keep it a hunnid. I'm a stripper I work at Envy. Your twin brothers know, they come there almost every night." Bricks has two older twin brothers, they're a year older then us. They real cool, I see them almost every night but I don't dance for them. If I'm bartending, of just walking the floor they always speak and keep it moving.

"Great. You can't even lie if you wanted too." I furrow my eyebrows as he shook his head.

"What did you tell them Bricks?" I question furious. He shrugs, sitting back.

"That you were my girl."

"Why? Why would you lie to them like that? I mean yea we have good chemistry we go way back, but I'm not the one for you Bricks. I keep stressing this." I whine, holding the bridge of my nose.

"Well maybe I can see something in yourself that you can't." He mummers. I sigh, continuing to eat my food in silence. As of right now I really just want to eat in peace and not say a word. It was always times like this he had to ruin the moment.

°°°°

We pull up to my building after a long silent ass car ride. The only time I spoke was to give direction and after that, I said nothing. He parks his car, so I gather my things about to get out. But Bricks stops me, pulling me on to his lap in the driver's seat. I sigh heavily, rolling my eyes while crossing my arms.

"You remember the Valentine's Day dance in the eight grade?" He questions. I said nothing as I glared at him.

"You had your hair in Shirley Temple curls with a pink and a red ribbon on either side of your head."

"And that ugly ass pink and white target dress, yea I remember it." I snarl. He laughs licking over his bottom lip.

"Besides that do you remember what I said to you?" He questions kissing my neck,  I slowly close my eyes as he sinks his teeth into me.

"I remember." I moan as my head rolls back. He grips my waist, pulling me closer to him as I whimpered in pleasure. Only Bricks could make weak like this, and I hated when he put me under his spell.

"What I say?" He questions, pulling my hair to expose more of my neck. He kisses the middle of my neck down to my chest causing chills to my body.

"You said y-you loved me." I moan, as his tongue flicked my flesh. He pulls back, grabbing me by my chin crashing his lips into mine.

"All I really wanna do Zee is love you. I know you're afraid but you known me for years b. I know everything about you. Your fears, your doubts and pet peeves. All I'm asking is for a chance. Just give me one, let some one love you for once." He whispers against my lips. Everything he was saying sounds up to par, but I don't trust it. I don't trust myself.

I pull back, opening the door as I climbed off of him with my stuff in hand. Right now I'm staying to myself. No more Bricks. Or associate boy toys. Just now I felt myself about to give in and I knew I had to stop it. Why won't he just understand that I'm not looking for love?

I enter my apartment, putting my hair into a bun while closing and locking my door. On my way to the kitchen, I throw my bag on the couch. I put my cheesecake in the fridge, making my way to my room. I flop down on the bed stripping of my heels and dress. I Bluetooth my phone to my black Beats Pill, selecting a song of my mood. I walk to the bathroom, grabbing my face cloth, lathering it with my deep cleaning cream. I first grab an alcohol pad to clean my face properly. I still have make up on.

Leaning over the sink, I sung the song that played as it spoke my exact feelings. The shit I go through every day with Bricks and any guy I just associate with, pertained to this song. It was giving me life.

"Red light
You know I can't make this thing that official
Believe we had a great night but I ain't the type to tell you that I miss you shit
You don't like that I make this easy, leaving
After sexing on the floor
Baby, I know you need me, like I need you
But I'm not the one you wanna love
So just pop a couple bands with a nigga like me
Loving ain't the same with a nigga like me
You use to them but ain't no loving me
I hear what you would say and, girl, it's clear to see
You should just drink a couple drinks with a nigga like me
You probably go insane with a nigga like me
Let's just party till we can't, ain't no loving me
And I'm the one to blame, ain't no loving me
So don't come looking for love."

I sing with pride to August Alsina - No Love as a tear raced my cheek. All the hurt and pain danced my membrane. I could see me being beaten and lied to.

People who I trusted just walked
over me, or stabbed me in the back. The words my mother shed when she was hurt, but I know she meant everything she said. When I left out that door, all my problems were left behind. Just like now.  

The music cut short as my phone rung Marimba. Smacking my lips, I leave out the bathroom to my room across the hall. I pick my phone up off the nightstand, it then stopped making my music play again. I don't know who it was and right now I don't even feel like looking to see who it was. That's when I got a text from a number a number unknown.

555-6789: Meet me at Raven's Stadium tomorrow. - X

I sigh in relief seeing it's my brother Xavier. I'm glad he's alive and well but I hope he knows Ima kick his ass. After I hug him.

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