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Dignity /ˈdignitē/ noun 
1. The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, but a headache. 2. The moment you realize God had greater plans for you that don't involve crying at night or sad Pinterest quotes. 3. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education and your parent's wisdom. 4. The moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People's opinions don't matter. 5. The moment you realize that no one is your enemy, except yourself. 6. The moment you realize that you can have everything you want in life. However, it takes timing, the right heart, the right actions, the right passion and a willingness to risk it all. If it is not yours, it is because you really didn't want it, need it or God prevented it. 7. The moment you realize the ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They really don't want you mucking up the family line with someone that acts anything less than honorable. 8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a helpmate towards achieving your life mission. 9. The moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from. 10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness. - Shannon L. Alder

A Month Later...

Zee...

After giving the babies a bath, I got in the shower myself. Afterwards, I enter the room smiling in awe at Imani and Imer. They're sleep on the bed, snuggled up like their in the womb again. 

People say that twins tend to still think as though they're in that tight space, and I can believe it. I can't tell you how many times I lay them down apart, and when I come back they just magically find each other again. I know when they get older, they'll drift apart though.

I take out their clothes my father gifted at the baby shower. It's the cutest thing and so my father's taste. Especially the hammer pants that go with Imer's onesie. Since we're going over there today, I definitely have to put them on them.

He's having a dinner with all his kids an their spouses, but sadly Bricks won't be there. He left for a trip this morning, so I'm here with the little babies alone. Well not really because I have security around the place. But theirs no protection like you're husbands.

I lotion the twin's little bodies, laughing when Imani sneezed from the baby powder. She opened her eyes with furrowed brows causing me to laugh even harder. I kissed her little fat cheeks, making her smile.

"Mommy sorry baby." I coo, putting her pacifier back in her mouth. I dress her and Imer, putting on their black and gold soft toed Jordan's last. I make sure Imani's headband isn't too tight around her head. I sit them both in their car seats, getting dressed my self. I take my hair out my bonnet, combing it how I want in a style. I take a couple of pictures with my selfie stick, putting them in a collage when done.

"Aight little babies, let's go." I sigh, putting on my leather jacket. I put on their outerwear, strapping them in their car seats. I grab their neutral colored baby bag putting it on my shoulder.

"You need help sis?" Derrick questions. I nod as he takes Imani and the baby bag. I grab my tote bag off the bed, taking Imer with me out the room. Before leaving out the house, I put the alarm system on and the doors lock automatically when we exit. I twist the knob for precautions, satisfied that I know the door is locked. 

Derrick and I put the kids in the car, securing them in the base that's designed for the carseat. We then put the seat belts over the seats. I get in as Derrick gets in as well.

"The guards are following us right?" I question putting my seatbelt on. Derrick nods, pulling out and I turn on the radio so we could follow the instructions to my father's house. He moved from his old place, out to Ocean City Maryland. I haven't been there yet mostly because with work and taking care of two kids. It's kind of hard to make free time. 

°°°°

"Give me my baby!" Zara squeals as Derrick and I walk through the door. She takes Imani from me, making her way to the living room and I follow.

"Where is my little Imer?" Zade coos, looking for Derrick and I. 

"That's my baby. Move." Tommie bombards, pushing Zade out the way. She takes Imer out the seat, cradling him in her arms as she takes off his jacket.

"Damn, I gets no love." I mumble to myself.

"Aw come here baby sister. I love you." Zade coos with open arms. I laugh, standing to my feet as I make my way over to her. We hug tightly, pulling back.

"You know she only hugging you because she can't hold the babies." My father chuckles, coming down the steps. I laugh, hugging him. 

"I am not." Zade whines. 

"I know you're not. But where the grub at though? I'm hungry." I make my way the kitchen looking around the place. I was honestly in love because my home looks nothing like this but my father as way more money than I do.

I see Scrapp in the kitchen, cooking whatever that smells good. I give him a hug, taking out a red cooked potato that's seasoned. I eat it, rolling my eyes back in satisfaction. Scrapp chuckles shaking his head.

"You funny as shit."

"No you can throw down." I tell him, licking my fingers.

"Where's Bricks at?" He questions. Scrapp and Bricks became like the best of friends. They have a lot in common except for their attitudes. Scrapp is the more of the calm type while Bricks is ready to fight. That's one thing Scrapp doesn't like about him. 

"On a trip with his job." I sigh, taking another potato.

"Scrapp when are we going to have a baby!" Tommie questions still holding Imer. My brother turns around to her raised brows about to respond, our dad rolls pass the kitchen on his hover board.

"Nevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" He sings like Summerella. We all bursts into laughter as Tommie hands Imer to me pissed. I look down at him, smiling as he smiled back flashing his little gums. 

"Hi mommy's baby." I coo, kissing his forehead. I frown in laughter.

"Stinky baby. Pew." I travel to the living room, taking the baby bag. Derrick tells me he's out, and I thank him. I walk upstairs to a bedroom, laying Imer down to change his diaper.

Once done, I put his clothes back together picking him up. I throw the diaper away, making my way down stairs to where everyone else is. I hear Imani going off, shaking my head. That little girl is always hungry. Zade take's Imer from me, and I take a bottle out the baby bag. After warming it up, I hand it to Zara taking a seat.

"You look exhausted pooh." Zara frowns.

"Girl I am! With work, taking care of two babies and coming up with this clothing line Imeni Blessings. My hands be full girl. That's why when y'all call, I be knocked out. Sometimes Imani and I be up in the middle of the night with our Minnie Mouse onesies on chilling. We'll watch old shows like I love Lucy and I Dream of Genie." I chuckle.

"Awwww we gotta have a slumber party like a girls night. And the only boy invited is little Mer. Ain't that right baby." Zara coos, playing with Imer's feet as he sat in Zade's lap. He smiles causing us all to laugh.

"Aw you named your clothing line After the babies, combining their names that's so cute. Now I got baby fever." Zara chuckles, burping Imani.

"But peep the message Zar, Imeni Blessings." Zade smirks.

"In Many Blessings!" They say in unison, hi-fiving. I laugh shaking my head. 

"Yesssss. Hallelu!" Our dad praises walking into the room. We all laugh.

"Ay, um food is ready." We all get up in unison, and Zara and Zade hand the babies to Knight. I was head first until they pushed me, bussing in line. I pout, folding my arms over my chest.

"I was there first! DADDY!" I whine.

"What chall doing to my baby girl!" He calls from the living room, making his way over toward us in the kitchen. Imani and Imer cradled in each arm.

"Nothing, she just use to being first in line because she had that big ass belly about a month ago." Zara laughs. I look down at my stomach, frowing as every one bursts into laughter. I really forgot I'm not pregnant anymore.

"No that ass just spoiled." Tommie chuckles slapping my ass. I roll my eyes because that's true. My dad spoiled me like crazy because he missed 22 years of my life being locked down and all. My other siblings didn't seem to mind though, I guess they understood because our grandfather would take them to see Knight. So they known him their whole lives, but my father and I grew close over the months.

"Already made you a plate though baby mama." Tommie smiles.

"Not uh!" Zade whines as I laugh, thanking Tommie. I walk out on the deck, having a seat at one of the tables.

My father joins with the babies still in his arms. He's a proud grand daddy since I'm the only one out of all his kids to have kids. He told me he's been wanting to be a grand daddy forever.

"Where's Sidney?" I question.

"In ATL, checking on her shop." I nod, eating some corn on the cob.

"You popped that question yet?" I smirk. He laughs shaking his head no. I know he says he wants to marry her, but he's scared a little because of his last marriage. He also said he doesn't believe in love at first sight, fairy tail love any more either. I didn't at first either, but look at me. Married with two kids. 

"I was scared too once daddy, so I know how you feel. But Sidney really seems like the right one for you. I mean your 55 she's 40, y'all both funny as hell, she holds you down like crazy and she supports you with everything you do. I think it's safe to say she should be step mommy." I laugh, taking Imer from him as he smiles.

"You like Sidney too boop?" I coo. He smiles as I cradle him in my arm.

"Imani gone be just like Bricks. She always grilling somebody. Then when you grill her back, she smiles watch." I laugh as my dad and Imani go back and forth. Imani and Imer both have Bricks attitude. Our whole family gone be in damn anger management. 

°°°°

"It do not matter
Turn to a savage, pocket got fatter, she call me daddy
Smoking that gas, gone off that Xanny, she on the powder
Nowadays I am on, my haters got sadder
Money got longer, speaker got louder, car got faster." We sing Money Longer by Lil Uzi in multiple snaps. I was sitting on the lounge part of the couch, Imani and Imer up and laying right next to me with their pacifiers in their mouths. Tommie and them turned music on, and they a little tipsy right now.

"Yo I can't dab for shit." Zara laughs hysterically. My song One Day by Tory Lanez comes on and I instantly get hype posting the video.

"Hol up turn that up, that's my song!" Zara laughs, turning the stereo and I instantly went to the sexy mode. Tommie and Zade, roll their eyes as Zara and I got into character. I got up from the couch and Zade took my spot as I winded my hips, making seductive faces toward the camera as Tommie recorded with a raised brow.

"If you let that ass spend one day with me
You know how this gonna go down when you come over
You know that I'm a freak
Don't you spend one day with me (one day)
If you ain't about that action
Shawty, if you about that action, show me
Spend one day with me (one day)
Are you about it? Spend one day with me
Are you about it? Spend one day with me
You know you spend one day with me." I ended up laughing when all eyes were on me.

"Oh hell no! Fuck was you stripper?" Zade laughs, I straight face her for cursing.

"Yea I was. And don't curse around my babies." I frown, taking my ringing phone out Tommie's hand. I see its Bricks, so I travel up the steps so I could hear. I enter my father's room, sitting on the chair in the corner of the room.

"Why you teasing me yo?" He questions when I answer the phone. I frown, pulling the phone away from face.

"Um, hello to you too. And what are you talking about?" I question confused.

"The video of you whining your hips and shit. Don't play b."

"But I did- Tommie." I huff, shaking my head.

"What does-" 

"She had my phone recording me, but I didn't tell her to send it to you. She took it upon herself to do that." 

"Well don't let her hold your shit no more. I don't like her anyway, she seem like trouble. Whatchu doing though?" He questions. I shrug, sitting pretzel style in the chair.

"Nothing." I mumble.

"What's wrong with you?" He questions.

"I miss you." I admit.

"I miss you too, but it's only three days and I'll be back home to you." He chuckles. I roll my eyes.

"How's Trinidad?"

"Amazing is all I can say. I wish you and the kids were here. I know the kids gotta be at a certain age in order to travel plus you had work yourself, so y'all really couldn't come." I nod, sitting in silence and I sat in the chair just thinking about Tommie. Bricks told me a while ago not to get to friendly with her ass. And I  think Ima chill off her.

"Zee." He calls.

"Yea?"

"What are you doing baby?" He chuckles. I smile, shaking my head.

"Nothing. I think Ima go because it's 11:30 right now." It's dark and I don't like the dark honestly. Plus it's pouring rain and I need to get home.

"Aight call me when you get in the house." I nod and we tell each other we love each other, hanging up. I gather the babies and I stuff together, traveling down the steps.

"You leaving? But daddy and Scrapp didn't get back with the ice cream and cake yet." Zara whines. I get the kids together, sighing.

"I know. Just tell him I had to go." She nods, helping me with the kids. Once we have them secured, I hug Zara getting in the car. I flash the headlights for the guards to follow me. As I pull out, The twins begin to cry in unison. I furrow my eyebrows, looking in the rearview mirror.

"What's the matter babies?" I question. I see headlights coming towards me. I swerve out the way, beeping the horn because they were on the wrong side of the road. 

"Jackass." I mumble to myself.

After an hour, I finally get home parking in the driveway. Kirk helps me with the babies as I unlock the door to the house. I thank him, taking Imer's carseat from him. I close and lock the door once we get inside.

I sit on the marble steps, smiling as Imani and Imer slept peacefully in their car seats. My babies were trying to warn me, and I'm glad they did honestly. I take the car seats off the floor, taking them up the steps.

After getting them dressed for bed, I laid them down in their cribs. Imani started her little sounds. I pout as she starts wiggling around and her little face turns red. I pick her up with tears in my eyes, sitting down in the chair that sits in the middle of the nursery.

I sniff, feeding her as I cradle her in my arm. I wasn't crying because it's hard taking care of two kids by myself, but just thinking about all the shit I went through. I pray to God Imani doesn't go through what I went through growing up. 

"Don't let any one disrespect or tear your pride down Mani. You'll go through obstacles in life, we all do at one point in our lives. I went through a few, but staying strong and showing people you're not weak makes you strong. So with that said, the relationship I had with my mother and step father, won't be done unto you. You're a precocious gift from God Imani and as your mother, I'm hear to love and protect you. And when you get old enough, make sure you find a man who loves and takes care of you. Even if you're scared to love. It'll be worth it in the end." I sniff, laughing once she smiles. She reaches her hand up yo mouth, so I kiss her palm and knuckles. She grabs my finger, dozing off and I lay my head back on the chair smiling.

"I love you my little one." 




Zee and Imani's bond 😩😍❤️👏🏽

Tommie doe...👀

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