Bambi

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Joseph

He didn't text me back Saturday, and he ignored my calls Sunday. I thought we were actually making progress, our conversations were cool and flew really nicely, but then he suddenly just stops texting me. I could of freaked him off by asking him out on a date but I think he should know by now that flirting is how I communicate. I don't understand why he just switches up sometimes, turning from chatty and happy to completely brushing me off and pretending I've turned invisible.

"Hey! Johnny!" I yell, totally brushing off my mates conversation he was trying to make with me about football.

There he is, shuffling through the crowded hallway, mountain of books tucked under his arm with his blonde mop aimed down at the floor. Tight blue jeans gripped his skinny legs and then these tiny blue trainers on his feet making this horrible patting noise as he literally dragged himself to his next class.

"Hey yo, Bambi!" I yell again, making the circle of people around me laugh as they turn to look at the skinny boy who had now just turned to look at me, face red as blood. His bottom lip holding a cut, dropping a bit from the top lip.

He scoffs at me before turning back around and making his way to class, making me look like a jerk.

"Dude you need some better insults, bambi? The fuck?" Tristan snickers, hitting my shoulder and walking in front of me to get his to his locker.

That wasn't an insult.

He ignored me during English class as well, while his brother did nothing but shoot me the evils. Nicholas sat right in front of the classroom, with his head turned and this disgusted look on his face. Everyone was taking notice as well, which only made it worse, this guy looked like he was about to kill me and I don't even know why. Johnny didn't help let me know why his brother seemed so angry with my existence, he just kept his head stuck to his desk for the whole lesson which is strange for him, I thought he liked English.

"So what's with the silent treatment?" I breath, looking down at Johnny.

Last lesson of the day was outside sports and luckily I shared this with Johnny, and I have to say he really sucks at sport. But still, I figured he'd be going home soon so  I better ask before he leaves and spends another night ignoring my texts.

He's knelt over, hands resting on his thighs as he tries to catch his breath, hair slightly greasy from sweat and his cheeks flushed pink, his chest pumping rapidly.

"I don't feel to good" he sighs, coughing a little before standing up properly, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

"Joseph! Ball!" Coach yells from the middle of the field, pointing down at the ball in my hands, I throw it back to him, still not leaving Johnny's side as he continues to breath at a rapid rate.

"Everything okay boys?" Coach part yells as he walks closer to me and Johnny, eyeballing the redness of Johnny's cheeks and then looking warily at me.

"Coach can I be excused? Just for a couple seconds" Johnny's coughs, giving coach a pleading look to leave the field.

"See to him" coach nods at me, pressing his lips together and shaking his head at Johnny's fitness statues before walking back to the rest of the players.

Johnny leaves me, turning his back and heading off away. His feet crunching down on the grass walking straight to the outside boys toilets, they are located not to far from us. I follow on behind him, only having to walk to keep up with his idea of running.

"What's the matter, Johnny?" I smile, knowing Im wearing down thin on his last nerve.

"Fuck off Joseph" he scoffs, not bothering to face me as he walks up the steps to get to the outside boys toilets, pushing down heavily on the door and almost falling in.

"Johnny what's the matter?" I ask, a little more seriously now as he drops to his knees in front of the first toilet he makes contact with, holding onto to the rim and looking down at it.

"Johnny, talk to-"

I'm cut off from talking as his shoulders heave forward with his head, puke erupting from his mouth as he leans over the toilet bowl, emptying the contents of his stomach. I grimace, folding my arms and leaning my weight onto the frame of the door which surrounded his cubicle, watching him throw up. The smell of puke almost making me want to throw up with him.

He leans up from the toilet a little, coughing up spit and throwing it out into the bowl, before taking hold of his two fingers and plunging them to the back of his throat with ease.

"Johnny, what are you doing?" I stress, sounding a little too panicked than I originally planned.

Dropping to his level and patting his back, grabbing hold of his wrists and trying to pull his fingers from his mouth. It wasn't much needed though, this boy literally had no gag which to his disappointment meant nothing came up.

"Johnny stop it! Your scaring me!" I yell, shaking his shoulders making his head snap up, "what's the matter with you?".

"I took something" he quickly admits, shaking his head and wrapping his skinny little arms around his stomach.

I open my mouth trying to speak but I just can't find the words to put together. He took something. What? Was it something he ate? What...I...fuck.

"A pill, I took a pill" he clears that up for me, noticing the sudden confusion on my face.

"A pill?"

"...Pills" he admits again, frowning and then clutching tighter onto his stomach, trying his best to get himself to be sick again without having to use his fingers.

I nod, not fully understanding the situation. I've heard about drugs before on the news and I've read a little about them, but I still have no idea on the effects they can have on the human body. I couldn't tell the difference from crack cocaine to marijuana, there all the same to me. I do know there not good though and can really mess with your system.

He reaches for the toilet bowl again, sinking his fingers once again to the back of him throat and forcing himself to gag up his stomach fluids. I turn away with disgust, my hand still lamely patting his back though trying to sooth him in whatever way possible.

Why does he even care if he overdose's anyway? He self harms, he wants to be dead right? The human mind is a funny thing, there's cuts that's so deep on his arms right now that they definitely need medical care but he chooses to just pull the sleeve over them and pretend there not there. I can see his back bone right now, sticking out from his red t-shirt, visible enough that I could run my finder down it with ease, and yet he's sat on a dirty bathroom floor, worried because he's swallowed a couple of pills.

"That's enough" I breath, turning to see nothing but spit and blood leaving his mouth, circling around his lips and then dropping from them. He seemed a little shocked with himself, staring down at the red pool of water in toilet, hoping he'd managed to get the drugs out of his system.

And then came the regret, as he looked over at me through the corner of his eye, spitting out one more time before pressing his lips together and wiping his mouth clean with the back of his hand. Eyes setting on the dirty floor as he pulls the chain to the toilet. Breathing as the flushing fills the now awkward silence that had come to the air.

"I have to go" he murmurs, not daring to look my way.

I would of attempted to talk to him, try and make him feel better, comfort him. But he seems embarrassed, cheeks flushed red and the way his head lowered from my hurt eyes. I'm not gonna put him through talking about this, best to just ignore it for today.

He steps up slowly, a little shakily but he manages ok. Leaning his back against the white wall behind him and brushing the dirt away from his skinny legs. He really do remind me of Bambi. He walks away, legs brushing my shoulder as he passes with quite some speed. I sit though, replaying the painfully hard scene I had just witnessed, my insides slightly turning and knotting together. I've never seen something as gruesome before, it hurts knowing that this type of stuff actually happens in the world. It hurts a lot.

***

Patiently waiting for the wattys to start -_-

I probably won't win anything but It will be fun.

Another hard chapter to write...

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