chapter nine : Daisy

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"Oscura soledad estoy viviendo.
La misma soledad de tu sepulcro."
- Rocío Dúlcar


My first language was Spanish. It was important for my mother that I learned both. But she said that since I was gonna learn English in school anyways, then I might as well start with Spanish first. Like she did.

At this point I don't know what all I have in me. My mom is half Spanish and Mexican. While my dad is American, but some of his family came from southern England. Thought I'm not sure how long ago that was.

However, my dad is fluent in English and Spanish. I don't know if he learned that for my mom or he already spoke it before. Either way, I'm grateful that I got to learn that language. Because it didn't take me long to figure out that, singing in Spanish is actually my preference.

"Daisy, are you participating in this years winter showcase?" Mila asks.

Which it's a good question but I honestly wasn't even planning on it. Like I said, I rather leave that spot for someone who actually wants to pursue a career in the music business.

"I wasn't planning on it actually." I answer honestly.

Those showcases are used to bring in important people who are seeking new talent. Which there is so many. I have met so many students who have a lovely voice and want to be singers. Those people deserve a shot.

"Shame. You have such a lovely voice." Yelena says.

We're all sitting around at rehearsals waiting for the rest of the girls to arrive. It's time for us to organize, get our shit together for the hockey game performance the day after Thanksgiving.

I smile. "Thanks."

"Let's do a karaoke vocal warmup." Grace suggests.

There's eleven of us in the group but four of them are still not here. But I know, Olivia had to stay for study group and Elizabeth was running behind, from work. While Stefany and Caroline are doing it on purpose just because Cassie took the solo.

Bitches.

"I think, Daisy should start." Cassie is quick to suggest, clearly trying to get me back for what I did. She bites her lip, to keep herself from smiling. Punk.

All the girls happily agree with Cassie.

That's fine. I don't mind karaoke'ing for them. Singing for me is like second nature. "That's fine." I smile, as I walk up to the piano that's on the stage. "What do you guys wanna hear?"

"Something in Spanish." Normani, suggest. She's also a senior who will be leaning this year. One of the most coolest girls I have ever met.

Taking a seat on the bench, I chuckle. The first time I sang to them in Spanish, they were all in awe. Hilda even had tears. She's the only other person here who is fluent in both English and Spanish. And some French.

I've never been afraid or shy to perform in front of strangers. Since I was a kid, I've been doing it. But even back then it wasn't a problem. If anything, I say it's relaxing for me. Especially since I got older, and I found myself relating to the lyrics, that it was so easy for me to sing with such emotion.

I pause for a brief moment, take a deep breath and begin to play the opening keys, and then I start to sing.

I can't begin to describe how much I love this song.

Rocio Dúrcal's, Amor Eterno is by far one of the most emotional songs I've ever heard. Especially after what I went through when I lost Alex. This is my first time ever to sing it in front of anyone, actually.

And now I'm thinking this may have been a bad idea. I wasn't planning on crying in front of my fellow group members. Not a lot of people know about Alex and everything happened. But it's only because I still feel it so deep in my heart and I don't like to feel that ache.

Every line hits me right in the heart, and I blink back my tears. I hate still getting like this after three years.

I'm glad when the song finally comes to an end.

The room is quiet and I'm forced to face the girls to see if they're still here. I'm relieved to see that they are but that feeling is quickly replaced with awkwardness at how they're all watching me in awe again.

"Daisy." Cassie says, her hand over her heart. "That was beautiful."

And the rest of the girls agree. They're all sweet and fill me with compliments. Saying even if they don't know what the song says, they still love how I sang it.

And for the first time ever I can say that I have never been more grateful to see Stefany and Caroline, as they walk in to the room and interrupt us.

Mila spends about three minutes talking shit to them for being late and threatening to kick them out. After that we begin rehearsals for the next hour and a half.

"What happened Friday night, we saw you getting carried out by Noah." Grace says, as well all put our things up.

I instantly cringe. All I've been trying to do is forget that night. Never, ever so I wanna think about it again. I'm gonna go on with life pretending it doesn't exist.

"Oh yeah, Miguel asked him to please give me a ride home." It's not technically a lie.

Mila, comes up next to us. "Ugh. You're so lucky." She dramatically says. "You have all those sexy football players fondling you."

I quickly turn to her, my expression horrified. "Oh my gosh! They are not fondling me." I whisper shout. Is she crazy? "Miguel has a girlfriend and he's like a older brother. And Johnny has...well, he has an Alice and Dominic listens to Miguel about not dating me. And Noah," I literally feel embarrassed just by even mentioning his name. "Well he doesn't date." I chuckle trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Or maybe, you're just not their type." Stefany buds in giving me a look of disgust. "They don't seem to like basic women."

If there's one thing that I hate, is to be unkind. I can usually ignore rude people. Why would I want to let someone like that get to me. But in this case Stefany is already on my last nerve and I'm tired of her being such a bitch for absolutely no reason.

"Apparently they don't like cunts either, seeing how Noah just left you there." I fire back.

I hear a snort somewhere around me, while Stefany's mouth just opens in surprise. And I quickly walk out of the room to get some fresh air, before I go back and apologize.



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