Sierra

I feel nauseous. I need a trash can or I'm going to projectile vomit across the table on to the girls.

I sat down slowly next to him and Cameron and Parker sat across from me. The guys had uncomfortable looks on their faces. My mom insisted for us to change and look, "presentable."

Presentable my ass.

I had on a blue dress with small white flowers dotted around. Cameron had the same design but in yellow and Parker as well but with a forest green. Cameron had her straight blonde hair tied up and Parker's was curled like mine.

The boys look nice too. Ty had a snug Elwood tee on with black utility jeans. Blake had a white sweatshirt with dark grey sweats and a beanie. Kaydon is wearing a black t-shirt that clung close to his body with dark pants.

Stop staring Sierra and start eating.

I let out a quiet sigh and nodded to the girls that we'll be fine. The tension with us is high and it's like the parents don't even notice. I grabbed my empty plate and began putting the food the moms cooked for us. Quesadillas, macaroni, mashed potatoes, stew, and rolls. The dads were all busy so they couldn't come but they did promise to see the guys soon. Well, besides Harry. I'm assuming he left.

If he didn't, then I have some shit to say.

I would like to projectile vomit on him instead.

As we were all eating, I kept playing with my food with the fork in my hand. I could see the times Kaydon would quickly glance at me and then look away.

"How has football been for you guys during the years?" my mom asked to break the silence around the table. Ty looks up and wipes his mouth before answering.

"We've been doing pretty well," he looked over to the guys for a second, "Kaydon is our captain and he has been doing our team justice."

Kaydon smiled slightly but it disappears as everyone stops laughing.

"How is football gonna work with you guys moving back and the season not starting?" Steph questioned after taking a bite of the quesadilla.

Blake answers this one. "We'll talk to coach about it." he said with a smile. The boys look tired but happy. I just know that they had a hard time saying goodbye to where their football career started at, the teammates and friends they made, and even the relationships.

Speaking of, I wonder how Kaydon and Holiday are doing.

A knock came from the front door and my mom jumped up to answer it. Parker gave me a weird look but I shrugged and started sipping on my water.

Again, I choked and here I am coughing my guts out staring at the man of front of our table. God fucking damn it, Harry.

Maybe I should stop drinking water before a major event?

You think?

Fuck you.

"You okay?" Kaydon whispers and shivers went down my spine. I nodded and sipped some water again to control myself.

"Sierra good to see you too." Harry responded sarcastically. I narrow my eyes and smile over dramatically.

"Sure." I take my focus back on the mashed potatoes in front of me. As I kept smushing it, my mom nudged me to listen to Harry's question.

"So how do you feel about the boys being back girls?" Parker stared at me with noodles still in her mouth with wide eyes, Cameron's mouth was a bit open with a shocked look, and I was taken back by that question that my heart started to beat like crazy.

My mom shoot a nasty glare at him but motioned me to talk. What do I say? I'm gonna say something stupid, aren't I..

Yep!

"I, uh," I was baffled by all means and words couldn't even form in my mouth. I looked around and saw the guys staring at me and the girls giving me encouraging glances. "The girls and I are very shocked-"

"Shocked?" Harry interrupts. Okay, so we're interrupting.

I clear my throat and continue, "Yes, overwhelmed since we hadn't have time to talk to them yet-"

"They should be overwhelmed for coming back! You guys didn't even once communicate with them. Do you know how they feel? They probably felt hurt!" Does he know how we felt when they were ripped apart from their hometown? We couldn't communicate because of Harry. He thinks he's this "hero" for helping the guys with football, but what about their childhood?

I suddenly scoot back my chair with my face on fire. If he wants to know how we felt, he'll get a fucking answer.

"Did you know how WE felt?" my voice echoed throughout the dining room. All eyes were on me as I kept on shouting at him.

"WE didn't communicate? They didn't even say why they left! You took them away for heaven's sake!" I held eye contact as tears were welling in my eyes. "You are real bold for asking if we knew how they felt when they were gone when you know for a fact that our other family were ripped away. What about the girls and I? We were crushed." Kaydon looked at me with full guilt in his eyes and it broke my heart. The guys didn't tell us, yes. Did it hurt, fuck yeah. Harry made them silent for years, they don't have the courage to even say a word about it.

"I have had enough of you trying to rip our friendship apart," I point right at Harry who was shocked by my outburst, "You have done nothing but blame us, when you took them away with no explanation." my hands were shaking and the whole world was beginning to blur.

"Get the fuck away from me." I step out of the dining room and slammed my shoulder against his knocking him back. I run straight up the stairs to my room. I slam the door and you could hear the paintings rattle on the wall. I lay on my bed in a pool of tears as I try to cover my sobs with my hand.

I have never thought that my emotions would be all over the place when the boys came home. Harry had the nerve to even show up with his suit all ironed and that stone cold look on his face. He knew the girls and I would break. Why would he agree bringing them here in the first place?

My door slowly opened and I knew it was the girls. They both sat down on my bed and brushed away the tears that were still on my face. I looked at the both of them and they had tears in their eyes too.

Cam and Parker had their own feelings when the guys left. Cameron lost her only sibling. Her first ever best friend, her twin. She cried for hours on end. Carol had to ask me and Parker to give her food. Cameron always got emotional when people talked about why they left. Even if they didn't know, it hurts her.

Parker on the other hand was angry. She got mad, threw things, cried, and stayed in her room for days.  Everyone was terrified of her. Ty was like a brother to her when her brother died, Dylan. He was only a year older than her. She found out a couple days before the guys left. Ty was the light and joy in her life besides Dylan.

"Please don't cry," I sniffle. Parker laughed softly and pulled us into a hug. We're like sisters who have these instincts. Emotional instincts. We'll feel a certain way if the other does. We never expected it.

No, I didn't expect the tears to come about the guys, but I'm real damn glad that the girls are by my side.

—

My mom decided to come in a few minutes ago and she sat down with us. She gave us all an apologetic look.

"Girls, I'm so sorry." she whispered grabbing our hands. Cameron shook her head and wiped her eyes. "Don't be sorry,"

We all nodded and she smiled.

For the rest of the time we talked and chatted but my mom had to eventually close out the dinner. It was nearly ten so the girls and I changed into more comfier clothes. We wore our team t-shirt and some black shorts.

"Do you remember the stargazing in the backyard?" Parker suddenly asks. I nodded and stared out of my window which has a good view of the backyard of my house. The pool was covered and the treehouse with a huge opening at the top was bright with string lights that us kids did when we were five.

We would always stargaze and talk when we were little. It was our thing.

"Shall we check it out?" Cameron opens the door and waits for us. We happily walk on out.

The treehouse was still in good shape and we started walking towards it. "I can't believe we're going back here since like a year," Parker lets put a huge breath and leaned on the ladder. "Hopefully our amazing renovation still works." We stopped by a year ago to check on the shape. It was like brand new.

The amazing renovation is the opening for the top of the treehouse. Just imagine the treehouse of Troy in High School Musical 3.

We all climbed up and I was first. When I got to the last part and opened it up, I nearly toppled on down onto the girls.

"Holy fucking shit," I clutch my chest and climb
up to let the girls up. I hear Cameron take a sharp breath.

The guys were up here. They were all huddled near each other on the opposite side of us. Parker grabbed my hand and I squeezed it slightly for support.

"Sorry for coming up unexpectedly," Cameron plays with the drawstrings on her shorts. Ty shakes his head and grinned a little.

"It's alright."

We sat in silence for the most part and every time someone moves, another person lets out a breath. We were never this awkward before and it's certainly awkward right now.

"How was the transition back here?" I suddenly ask. The guys look up and look back to Kaydon who was staring at the ground.

"It was fine." he responded coldly. Blake shoves him a little but Kaydon doesn't budge.

Looks like someone is in a bad mood.

A notification goes off on Cameron's phone and she checks it out. "Look, I uh it's late. I'll see you guys at school." she gives Parker and I a thoughtful look and climbs down. Ty and Blake also goes to the opening.

"Bedtime?" Parker tried to tease. Blake just nods and Ty just dips. "Gotta talk to uh, my mom." Blake closes the trap.

I let out a sigh and leaned back against the treehouse wall. Parker pats my arm and I see her leaving. I try to keep her to stay but she just looks at me sheepishly. She gives me two thumbs up and closes it.

Just work it out with him, Cameron texted me. I groan and put my phone down. They've been wanting me to talk to Kaydon about it for years now.

Istare across the treehouse to see he was already staring at me. His brown hair all messy with the tiny freckles dotted around on his face.

"Look," I started to say but he scooted on over to me. I scoot back a bit to leave a bit of distance, he knows and doesn't say anything.

"I just wanted to apologize for my outburst earlier," I began and he lifts his gaze to meet mine. "I know it's been hard for you and I get it. I'm just really sorry." I fiddle with the hair tie on my wrist. I hear him let out a deep breath and he leans back too.

"Don't apologize," he says in almost a whisper. It felt like he was scared to wake something up. His voice was quiet and calm like it used to be, and I hate that. I hate that I remember. I hate that I miss his stupid voice that used to make my stomach have fluttering feelings on the inside.

I hate that I miss him.

"Whatever I did it's unforgiven. I know the shit I did. Please don't apologize," he gives me a pleading look and started to move to the opening. He's giving up on talking? "I think we just don't need to talk to each other right now. It's getting dicey."

"Dicey?" I ask in confusion. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out and he shuts it close. He keeps on looking over to the small football in the corner. So that's what this is about.

"You're scared that I might cause you to get farther away from football? Is this what that's about?" my heart was being torn again into a million more pieces as he just stares at me with a sorrow look.

"It's not that," he tried to explain but I put a hand up.

"Don't," I said harshly. "Goodnight, Kaydon."

I turn around and hide my teary eyed face once again. Once I hear the opening click shut I let the sobs out that I couldn't control. Every tear that left my body was for Kaydon. Every inch of pain I felt in my heart was because of him.

He is choosing football again. Am I surprised? No.

He is still unforgiven, and nothing is gonna change that.