6 months later

lmao jk hehehe

Chapter 32 - Explanation

"Thank Jesus it's friday," Zoey gives out an over exaggerated moan as we walk into school.

"Same," I say with a laugh. She is a walking meme. Especially today because her hair is up in messy bun, she's not wearing makeup and she looks like she's wearing pajamas.

"See you in math," she mumbles as I stop at my locker and she keeps walking to hers.

Putting the code into my locker, I open it and take out my math book. It's then I notice that something orange is sitting on top of my neatly set row of books. Straight away I recognise it as one of my favourite things: a packet of Reese's peanut butter cups.

How the hell did that get in here? I didn't put it there, because it never would have lasted long enough to reach my locker if it was in my hands.

Confused, I pick it up and see that there are words written in black marker on the front.

Sorry, baby - Z

My heart races at the simple words written. Sorry. He said sorry, not that he is apologetic.

He also called me baby, and I'm totally not freaking out about that.

A lot of people have been calling me that recently, but only when he does it is when it affects me.

Why does he need to do this and make it so hard for me to hold a grudge against him? He's an asshole. A stupid, stupid, annoying asshole.

A stupid, sexy, kind, perfect, amazing asshole.

It's so sweet that he remembered that I liked Reese's from that one time I asked him to get me it from the vending machine. The guy can barely remember names but he remembers this.

The bell rings and I close my locker, putting the Reese's on top of my math book and walking to class.

+++

I sit in the front row of my chemistry class, excited to hear about what Mr. Kennedy will be teaching us today. If Zeke could read my thoughts, he'd be laughing his ass off right now.

Wait, forget I mentioned him. Again, I forgot that I hate him and definitely should not be thinking about him.

The seats fill up of all the usual people who sit in the front row. Someone sits beside me and I check to see who it is, only to be greeted by an angel faced Mason.

"Hey," he smiles.

"Hi," I reply hesitantly.

Zeke would have said hello instead of hey.

Can my mind just shut the hell up? Seriously, you're so annoying.

"Did you do the assignment?"

Of course I did, who does he think I am? I guess he's just trying to make small talk – I don't know why though.

I nod. "You?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Get out of my territory, doofus." Mason and I both look up at Zeke, standing over Mason.

"Your territory?" Mason grimaces.

"That's what I said, didn't I?" He leans his hands on the desk. "Now get out of my fucking seat."

Oh Zeke.

"Find somewhere else to sit."

Zeke raises his eyebrows, obviously not expecting Mason to back talk him. "Would you like me to beat your ass in front of the full class?"

Ohhh Zeke, how I've missed how mean you are.

Mason rolls his eyes and picks up his books, then gets out of the seat and walks to another. Zeke plops down on it and turns to me with a smirk. "Hello."

Holy crap, can he read my thoughts?

"How did you get the Reese's in my locker?" I ask instead of saying hi back.

"I still know your combination from when I pranked you. You should really change that, it tempts me to snoop."

"Have you ever looked through my locker?"

"Pfft, I do it all the time."

I glare at him. "That's creepy."

He shrugs. "Might as well be open about my obsession with you."

I blush and turn away, hoping he can't notice. He's obviously joking; he'd never be obsessed with someone like me. "Well... Thanks."

He scowls. "How many times do I need to tell you not to thank me for anything?"

"Maybe one more time," I shrug, playfully.

He smiles at his body visibly relaxes. "So do you forgive me?"

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

"I haven't figured it out yet. It's not right for me to just let it go."

"You're so fucking stubborn," his voice is louder than before and I can basically see the anger scale rising. "I didn't even mean anything I said to you."

"Then why did you say it?"

"To make you hate me."

"Well congrats, it worked – but why?"

"I told you, it's complicated," he runs his hand through his messy hair.

"If you're not going to tell me then I won't forgive you."

"Fine," he shrugs, then squeezes his eyes shut and sighs. "No, not fine. Nerd, what can I do to make you not hate me anymore?"

"Be honest and tell me everything."

"Not that."

"Why?"

"Because it is messy as fuck and you do not need to know about that shit."

"But-"

"Okay, everyone settle down," Mr. Kennedy says when he enters the room.

Zeke just raises an eyebrow, obviously happy to be off the hook for now, and I groan and look to the front. If he doesn't want to tell me then fine. I'll just hold a grudge until he does.

+++

I turn the pages of The Notebook, looking at it with loving eyes, reading every word carefully. Romance has never been my favourite genre, but when I was at the store earlier today, this book caught my eye and for some reason it was a lot more appealing than it ever has been before. Ever since i've started reading it, I can't put it down.

I really cannot wait for the day I find my soulmate; the one. Thinking about spending every day with your best friend and love of your life just seems so impossible, and way too good to be true. Is it even true? That there is someone out there who is exactly like you – your significant other. I hope there is, and I do not want to think otherwise.

"Dinner's ready!" My mom calls from
downstairs.

After bookmarking the page i'm at and closing my book, I get up from my bed and head downstairs. Entering the kitchen, I see that Charlie has made chilli. He makes the best chilli – he's just an amazing cook, which is handy because my mom never cooks and the only thing I know how to make is cereal.

"Thanks for making this, Charlie," I say as I sit down at the table across from him and my mom.

"No problem, I know how much you love it," he smiles.

"We have news, Marnie," my mom declares. "We have set an official date for the wedding. It'll be on November second."

"That's great," I say sincerely. "Just a few weeks before my birthday."

"Yes, we hope you don't mind," Charlie says.

"Of course I don't. Seeing my mom happy is the best birthday gift I could get."

My mom smiles and reaches across the table to rub my hand. I love to see her smile. She never used to do much of that.

We eat our food, and by the time I'm almost finished, the doorbell rings, and Charlie gets up
to answer it while my mom tells me about the dress she wants to get for the wedding.

"Oh, that reminds me; would you like to be one of my bridesmaids?"

"Of course."

"Are you sure? You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Mom, I'm sure," I assure her with a smile.

"Uhh, Marnie?" Charlie says behind me. I turn around to find that he is not alone. Zeke is also standing with him in the kitchen doorway.

I drop my fork onto my plate from surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"You know that thing we were talking about earlier?" He questions. "I want to do it."

Does he mean he's going to tell me what he's been hiding? I hope so. I just didn't expect him to break so quickly.

Charlie furrows his eyebrows and looks at Zeke with an accusing glare. Zeke realises that what he just said could be taken in the wrong way, and holds his hands out, his eyes wide. "I didn't mean it like that. We were talking about... Talking."

"Talking, huh?" Charlie folds his arms.

"Oh, Charlie, they're teenagers – let them have some fun." I turn around to look at my mom and she winks at me.

Oh God.

I hear Zeke laugh and I glare at my mom. "That's seriously not what he means." Embarrassed, I get up and put on my shoes. "Let's go."

Charlie continues to glare at Zeke while Zeke just presses his lips together to stop himself from laughing and watches me put on my converse.

"I'll be back soon," I tell my mom and Charlie as I open the front door.

"Okay, be safe!" My mom calls.

"Mom!" I yell before shutting the door.

Zeke laughs as we start walking in the direction of the forrest. We both know that the cliffside is our special place for talking about things like this, so no discussion is required.

"I love your mom."

"She's... Interesting."

"You are lucky she is so supportive of you having sex. If my mother knew about the shit I do in the bedroom, she would put me in a box and ship me off to Mexico."

I chuckle and shake my head. "She isn't supportive of me doing that, she just likes you a lot."

"Damn, it is a shame she is engaged."

My jaw drops and I hit Zeke's arm. "You're disgusting!"

"It was a joke, nerd," he raises his hands in surrender.

"It's still gross that you even said it."

"Well, she is an older, less annoying version of you. So I would totally screw her."

"Zeke!" I hit him again, this time on the chest. I freeze when he winces and puts his hands over where I hit him, remembering that he's hurt. "I'm so sorry! Oh god, are you okay? I'm so so sorry-"

"It is fine, baby," he puts his hands on my arms. "You do not need to be the one apologising to me."

Sweet Zeke, thinking that he deserves the pain because of his actions towards me.

"How's your stomach?" I look at the black shirt covering his stomach, and I fear what could be under there.

"How did you know that that was what is hurting me?"

"What? Um," I feel my face heat up as I try to think of an excuse. I'd rather not tell him that I stare at him all the time and notice every time he winces and stiffens. "I just... You know..."

"No, I do not know," he smirks and steps closer to me.

"Don't," I groan. "You're trying to make me uncomfortable."

"Maybe," he comes closer and puts his hands on my waist. "It is when you are at your weakest, and do not overthink and come up with excuses to why my hands should not be on you."

Maybe that's how it used to be, but now I want his hands on me.

Crap, gotta remember that I hate him.

I push his hands off of me and start walking again without saying anything. He hesitates before following me into the forest.

The view from the cliff is beautiful at this time of day. The sun is about to set, and it reflects on the clear water. Zeke sits on the edge of the cliff with his legs hanging off, and I sit cross legged further back from the grass, ready to grab him if something happened and he fell.

"So, are you gonna tell me why you were more of an asshole than usual?"

"One condition," he lies back on the grass so that his head is beside my leg.

"What's that?"

"You give me a blowjob first."

I flick his forehead with my finger and he smiles his cute baby smile.

"Stop stalling and tell me."

"Okay," he sighs. "The reason I wanted you to hate me was because I wanted to protect you from Jordan."

"Why would you need to protect me?"

He frowns as he stares up at the stars. "He said he would do something."

"Do what?"

His eyes close for a couple of seconds, and I know this is hard for him to talk about. He sits back up, and I now can't see his face as he's further forward than me. I decide just to move next to him and hang my legs off the edge too, even though it scares the crap out of me.

He looks down at my legs as I settle myself, then bites his lip.

"Okay, so you know about what he did to Vanessa."

"Yes..." I trail off, worried about what I'm about to hear.

"Me and her never really had a serious relationship, but it was more than anything I have ever had. It was mostly just sex, but I did like who she was and how she didn't give a fuck about anything. Everyone wondered why I didn't get back at Jordan after what he did, and it was because-" he gulps and looks away, preparing himself for the words to come out.

"It was because Jordan told me that if I went to the cops, or messed with him, he would do to Maggie exactly what he did to Vanessa."

My eyes widen and my jaw drops as I take in this information. Zeke cares about Maggie and his mom more than anything, and Jordan threatened him with her? He has been carrying this weight on his shoulders all along, keeping it to himself. It makes me so mad – he deserves better.

I take his hand in mine and interlock our fingers together. He stares at our hands for a moment before continuing. "Things started getting bad when we were playing truth or dare at Cole's party. When I went to get your bra back, he was grilling me on why I am not buying from him anymore, and if it was because of you," he looks at me, his eyes tracing over every feature on my face.

"Long story short, we got into an argument and he said that he could use you to bribe me. He will literally do anything for me to continue being as fucked up as he is."

"Why does he care so much?"

"Because we used to be really close. We were like brothers, but he did some shit I didn't agree with, and he didn't like that." He pauses and looks up at the sky. "Everyone I care about, he uses against me and threatens me with. When I saw you with Brandon, I freaked and realised that if he knows how much I... Care for you, he will hurt you."

"Zeke..." I say quietly and rest my head on his shoulder. All I want to do is hug him right now, and make sure Jordan doesn't come near him again. My precious Zeke.

"I really am sorry, baby."

Butterflies erupt in my stomach and a huge smile spreads across my face. Sorry and baby are my favourite words to hear coming from Zeke's mouth.

"I forgive you," I assure him, making him sigh from relief. "But how come you started talking to me again?"

"Because I can't stay away from you. It is okay though, I just won't let you out of my sight."

I don't bother telling him that he doesn't need to do that for me, because I know he will anyway. Being protective is just who he is.

I lift my head from his shoulder. "Can I just ask one thing of you? Could you maybe give me a ten minute warning before you're about to start ignoring me for no reason?"

"Maybe," he smiles. For about a minute we just stare into each other's eyes, our faces just inches apart. The intenseness makes me feel the need to lick my dry lips, so I do and Zeke looks at my now wet lips, his pupils dilating.

He slowly places his hand on the side of my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. I stay still, letting him concentrate on my face. His hand moves to my chin, and his thumb runs across my bottom lip. My skin is pricking with every sort touch he makes. The space between us is electrifying; unbearable. I want to move closer, and be able to feel the intoxicating feeling of his lips on mine again.

"Marnie, I..." He looks back into my eyes, then shakes his head and looks away, dropping his hand.

"What?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Tell me what you were going to say," I urge. I want to know. I want him to tell me that he feels the same about me as I do for him, but I know he won't, yet I still hope.

"I was just gonna say that I am... Hungry." He cringes at his own stupid excuse then looks back at me, his voice going quiet. "And I just got a crazy craving for carrots."

He's seriously talking about carrots after a moment like that? "Let's go get food then. I'm sure there are a lot of places in town that sell carrots," I shake my head, giggling and stand up.

Zeke smiles to himself as he looks down at the grass, thinking.

"Are you coming?" I hold out my hand to help him up. He takes it but doesn't put any weight on it, pulling himself up while still holding my hand. He doesn't let go when he's up, and we walk down the hill, hand in hand.

+++

i freaking did it again. I wrote too much and didn't get to the fun touchy bit 😩😂 the next update should come pretty soon though anyway, so I hope you don't mind. please remember to vote and comment 💓

ly

-e