I S A B E L L A

I sat in the passengers seat of Axel's car, in a comfortable silence all by myself as i waited for him to come out.

I watched drunk teenagers stumble out and in the house as the loud music could be heard clearly even inside of a car.

I hadn't noticed i was gripping onto the door handle until i felt my hand turn numb. It was a uncontrollable habit that i do when i'm upset or nervous that i have attempted to try and stop but only backfired and just got worse.

It was clear as day Axel was not in a happy mood, so i was prepared for any extra grumpiness.

On the positive side, Ronan finally got my number in his phone so as i was waiting in the car i messaged him a few recipes that Lucy taught me to help get over a hung over.

I switched my phone off and flattened my dress as each minute that passed i grew even more inpatient.

I began to grow so bored waiting for him that i even considered going back in to look for him, but when my hand reached for the door handle my actions were cut off when the drivers side door flung open.

Axel climbed in, dropping himself into the seat heavily as he closed the door behind him. I stared at him as he licked his dry lips and shoved the key in to start the car.

His gaze was on the wheel but slowly shifted to mine until our eyes collided. Whilst mine were rather large and awake, Axel's were tired and looked droopy.

I smiled at him, trying to lift up the mood and i watched his eyes flicker to my lips as i swallowed a lump in my throat.

Axel kept his gaze on my lips for a moment before he trailed his eyes back up to look into mine.

I tried to study his eyes, but his pretty blue ones were hard to see in the dark. His stare was intense, so intense that i began to grow nervous. So i broke the eye contact and turned my head to look straight ahead into the empty road. 

His fingers grabbed my chin and forced me to look back at him again. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, because he naturally looked as if he was planning everyone's murder.

I watched his lips open and close again as he hesitated to speak, his adam's apple bopping up and down before he let go of my chin and turned the key to switch the car on avoiding me.

The engine roared and he pressed down on the gas, not even bothering to wear his seatbelt.

"Axel." I softly whispered, fiddling with my fingers. The silence in the car was too loud.

As he drove smoothly down the street he hummed for me to continue. I tucked my hair behind my ears before speaking.

"Are you angry at me?" I asked, a sudden pit of anxiety rising in my stomach.

I watched Axel carefully, but he remained looking ahead into the clear dark road.

I always had a fear of people being angry at me. The thought that i've upset someone in anyway weighs me down like a huge rock on my shoulders. It makes me feel horrible and i find myself doing everything to fix it.

Axel's palm rolled on the wheel as he took a turn. He took a second to reply, and it only made me convince myself he is angry even more.

"No." He blankly replied, one simple two letter word that somehow only made me believe the answer was the opposite of that.

I shifted in the car seat, looking out the window for a moment to blink back the tears that were threatening to escape.

"You seem like you are." I muttered, the sound of the wheels on the car rolling on the road being the only sound heard.

I kept my eyes out the window, afraid that if i looked at him i wouldn't like his expression.

Why is he angry? I thought we were okay?

"I'm not. I've had a shit night."

I finally turned to him, he was still looking at the road like i expected.

"Because i showed up?" I said, hesitation laced in my voice. Axel scrunched his eyebrows together and finally turned to me, but somehow he looked even angrier than before.

"What the fuck?" His voice was calm but his tone was angry. He looked between me and the road, frustrated confusion painted on his face.

"You started at me all night like i killed somebody, Axel." I said softly. His tongue pushed at the inside of his cheek as he rolled it up and down. And it seemed like the nicer i tried to sound the more angry he got.

"All you did was flirt with Kai tonight, don't think i'd want to stare at that." His voice was harsh.

"What? I just made a friend that's all."

Axel scoffed. "Yeah really fucking friendly." He stopped at a red light and then pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Can we stop arguing, please." I asked as i felt tears beginning to form in my eyes. I hated arguing. I hated fighting. I hated it all.

Maybe i was being dramatic, i needed to stop crying over everything, it only made me seem weak. But i couldn't help it even if i tried.

"We aren't." Axel muttered as he continued driving. I sighed. Moved my hair out my face. Took a deep breath.

"Then why are you angry? Because i'm friends with Kai?"

Axel chuckled lowly, but it wasn't a happy one it was one that made me feel stupid. "I don't give a shit who you fuck, Bella."

"I didn't...do that with him" I replied, shock written all over my face as i caught a tear before it slipped out.

Axel didn't reply, instead he kept driving. We sat in complete silence for a good 5 minutes before we pulled into the drive in of Mcdonald's.

I sat there awkwardly, looking out the window as Axel ordered something.

Is he seriously ordering food right now?

He didn't even bother to thank the nice lady when he got the food, instead he just drove off. But i wasn't going to say anything, he was not in the best mood at the moment. That's for sure.

I watched him park in the empty parking lot and when i turned my head to look at him he dropped a bag with the McDonald's logo on it right in my lap.

"Eat." He demanded, i looked in the bag filled with food and then back at him.

"I'm not hungry." I whispered, the tension being as thick as it was before. Axel lifted his hips into the air and adjusted himself in his car seat.

"I haven't seen you eat once today, eat." He demanded, his face still in the same hard expression like it was before.

"I ate before i came to the party." I lied, but me and him both already knew i didn't. He raised his eyebrows, and brushed his bottom lip with his thumb.

"Eat." He repeated, i sighed and gave in before i  dig my hand into the bag. I pulled out a box of chicken nuggets and dipped one into the ketchup before taking a bite. My eyes closed in satisfaction and i almost moaned at how good the food tasted.

I felt bad for eating the food Axel bought for me and not giving him anything, i also felt bad for arguing with Axel. So i reached into the box and gave him my last chicken nugget.

Axel's eyes darted between the chicken nugget in my hand and my eyes. I gestured towards it with my eyes and gave him a small smile after, hoping it lifted the mood and we forgot about everything that happened before.

I watched Axel think about it before he reached for the chicken nugget, but not with his hand and instead his mouth. He bit into it as i held it for him, keeping eye contact with me the whole time.

I felt my cheeks turn pink, i was blushing like a idiot and i had my fingers and toes crossed that the he wasn't able to see in this dark car.

His adam's apple bobbed up and down and his jaw flexed as he chewed, i hadn't realised i had been staring at him until he swallowed it and caught me.

He smirked and for some reason that was enough for me to believe he's not so angry at me anymore.

I smiled widely in return, and dug my hand back into the bag pulling out some fries. I took one for myself before passing some to Axel, in which he took straight away.

We shared the fries in comfortable silence until they were all gone. I looked back into the bag and pulled out the last thing. A McFlurry.

I dug into the ice-cream straight away, i freaking love McFlurrys. Axel took the empty bag of my lap and put the rest of the trash inside of it as i ate.

My now let out hair fell in-front of my face as i tried to put the ice-cream in my mouth without getting it all over my hair.

After a few times of moving my hair only for it too fall back in-front of my face i began to grow frustrated.

But it was when i was about to put my hair back up i felt Axel's fingers brush my neck as he gathered my hair with his fingers and tucked it behind my ear. I turned my eyes to him keeping my head still, smiling at him as i ate the ice-cream.

I must've done something right because Axel grinned, slightly revealing those dimples i love so much.

It only made me smile even more in return as i scooped some ice-cream up and practically shoved it in his face.

He shook his head. "Are you sure?" I said in return.

"Yeah." He replied softly, i shrugged and put the spoon in my mouth and ate the rest of it, licking my lips and wiping my mouth after.

"Done?" Axel asked, watching me.

"Yes, thank you." I replied and handed Axel the empty container that once held ice-cream in it. He dropped the bag in the back seat before looking at me and giving me a look to ask if it's okay to go, I nodded in understanding and he turned the key to the car before the engine began to roar once again.

As Axel drove i couldn't help but wonder where he put Ronan.

"What did you do with Ronan?" I asked, breaking the silence as i picked at my nails.

Axel chuckled under his breath "What do you think i did with him?" He teased as he raised an eyebrow.

"I assume nothing bad?" I grinned, shaking my head and scratching my forehead.

I watched Axel's tattooed hand slide on the wheel as he turned it, whilst his other hand switched gears on the gear stick. His arm muscles and veins seemed to flex whenever he did anything, and it always looked so good.

"One of the boys took him home." His eyes darted between me and the road, as i nodded in understanding.

I looked out the window, where almost no people were passing by. The world seemed so peaceful late at night. I liked late night drives, when the world is asleep and all you can hear is the rolling of the wheels on the bumpy concrete and the silent wind in the air. 

"He really likes you." Axel continued after a beat of silence.

"Who?"

"Ronan." His voice remained low, as he lazily leaned back into his seat and brushed his nose with his hand.

I smiled to myself. "I really like him too ." I replied, placing a hand over my heart. "As a friend." I quickly added bringing up a finger in the air.

Axel smirked and stayed silent as we continued too drive.

When we finally made it to my apartment, Axel parked in front keeping his engine on. He relaxed in his chair as he watched me take off my seatbelt.

"Thank you for the ride." I smiled, he nodded in return.

"Bye Bella." His hand held the wheel as he was leaning back. I climbed out the car and bent down a little to look at him.

"Bye sweetheart." I grinned, and he smirked before i closed the car door. Axel watched me till i made it through the entrance of the building before driving away.

I practically dragged myself up the stairs, then unlocked the door lazily before flopping onto my bed.

I passed out straight after.

A X E L

I wanted to shoot myself pretty much the minute i stepped foot into my own house.

Ethan brought Ronan back too mine because Ronan had lost the keys to his own house. Fucking great.

"Hey." Ethan greeted me as he sat on the couch next to a drunk Ronan.

"I didn't wanna leave him alone incase he decided to do some dumb shit again" He explained, i dropped the car keys on a random desk in the house and walked up to them.

Ronan was half asleep on the couch, a bucket placed beside him on the floor. His ginger hair looked messy and his shoes were missing.

"Thanks." I replied dryly, nodding at him. Ethan stood up from his seat and looked down at Ronan again.

"Message me if you need anything, okay?" He said patting his pockets down. I nodded before he turned on his heal and left the house for me to deal with this moron.

Ethan was probably one of the most loyal and trustworthy guys i knew. He helped me through some of this toughest shit in my life, and he is probably the most responsible out of all of us so the boys and i have grown to respect him.

Ronan moaned as he rolled in his spot. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Of course i'm left do deal with this idiot.

Ronan turned all the way around till he was on his back looking up at me through his tired and drunk eyes.

"Heyyyy Axel!" He rubbed his eyes and began to sit up.

"Where's Isabella?" He asked, only now realising his surroundings as he looked around my house, his expression was confused and his eyes were half open.

"She's at home." I blankly replied, taking a seat in front of him.

"We should go see her." Ronan slurred, he began to push himself off the couch with his hands but i grabbed his shoulder stopping him.

"We should go to bed." I told, pulling him up and pushing his shoulder to walk up the stairs. He stumbled all over the place and almost fell down as few times but he eventually made it up the steps.

I guided him by the shoulder to the guest room, he immediately flopped onto the bed on his stomach groaning into the pillow.

I placed a bucket by the bed before making my way out the room. But i didn't make it out in time before Ronan spoke again.

"I think we should take Isabella to the beach house with us next week." He hiccuped, slurring over his words. I looked at him over my shoulder, but he was already half passed out.

Ronan and the boys drag me out to the beach house each summer for a full week. We party, fuck, swim and shit for a full week. It's not as bad as i first expected it to be, but it also means i have to see and talk to those fucks every minute of the day for a full 7 days.

And now Bella is potentially coming, and knowing Ronan he will not forget to ask because now i knew he made up his mind.

I liked being with Bella, i liked being around her and i liked talking to her as much as i didn't wanna admit it i did. She isn't as annoying as most people, but that doesn't mean that i want her to come to the beach house with us. Kai is gonna be there and i don't want her to be around him, i didn't fucking like Kai at the moment.

I closed the door behind me before taking off my shirt as i walked to my bed room. When i got in, i chucked the shirt on a random chair before kicking of my shoes neatly.

I reached into the pocket of my trousers and pulled out the mini bag of white powder. I stared at the drugs as i held it in the air. I was fully aware it would fuck up my life, it already was. But i had nothing left too loose, and if i was being honest i really didn't give a fuck.

I opened the plastic bag up, spilt some out onto the dresser right by my stuff and pulled out my credit card before forming it into a straight and thin line. I didn't hesitate before bringing my head down and swiping my nose across, inhaling the drugs.

I stood back up straight and rubbed my nose slightly. I then dug out the rest of my shit in my pockets and threw them on the dresser.

I then lit up a cigarette taking in a long drag and blowing out the smoke, and as i watched it evaporate into the air i began to remove my watch and the rings on my fingers.

When i finished getting ready for bed, i got under the covers, burnt out the cigarette on my palm and felt that little sting as it burnt my flesh. I threw the cigarette in a near by bin in my room and looked down at my palm where a brand new cigarette burn was, along side of the other cigarette burn scars

A cigarette for a thousand problems.

~~~
Thank you for 10k reads, i'm so grateful and love you all so much you have no idea!

I wanted to get out a chapter for you guys to celebrate hitting 10k, but i'm sorry if it's not good as i'm on holiday and don't have much time to write.

Thank you for reading lovelies<3