♡ twenty-two ♡

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"baby, how you doing? i know you not doing the best but i'm here, i'll always be here. tell me if you if you need me and call me if you feelin alone 'cause i'm here, i'm always right here. tell me that i'm dumb, i love to get numb. i know that i'm young but I'm still right here. i don't give a fuck, i love who i love and girl you're that one so i'll wait right here."
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You know how in elementary or in middle school you'd make a 'yo mama' or 'ur mom' joke and by the off chance you'd get a response like "my mom is dead?" The instant regret for a lighthearted joke never settled so deep into your bones before that age, and you've never felt a guilt so strong.

Currently, that's kind of like how this feels, but in this case Beatrice has a chance at surviving, at the expense of Benjamin possibly going back to jail and leaving her broken hearted and alone. That made my stomach feel icky. He's clearly not a good person, but a part of me wonders if there's still a seed of hope deep down inside him somewhere.

I shook my head, not really wanting to think about something so depressing on a night that was supposed to be positive and lighthearted despite there being a billion people here.

There's a silver lining to that, though. It means enough people are interested in my parents work for them to continue art as their job and not be forced to pick up second jobs or change their lifestyle in any way.

Benjamin casually gazed off into the distance, probably regretting opening up to me because now I'm not saying anything. I wish I really did have something to say, but although he revealed his issues to me it still doesn't change the fact that he literally bragged about getting me unconsciously high.

I only had bought two of the pills, and he's the one who gave me the extra three for nothing. Now that I'm remembering correctly, he practically forced me to take them. Also, I would have never done the opiates if he hadn't acted like he didn't have Xanax, which I ended up finding out was a lie.

"Why did you do it?" I broke the silence. "If you needed the money so bad, why'd you nearly shove the extra three pills down my throat?"

"Fuck, man. I don't know, I was drunk—It was a mistake. I'm sorry..." I'm really not sure if I believe him. How do you just do something like that and think you can get away with it? Technically, he did receive a consequence..

Which, reminds me.

Gustav beat his ass for me. Regret rushed through my body, more than it had five minutes ago. What the fuck have I done? I totally screwed things up by ignoring him when he had basically poured his heart out to me.. Whether it was verbal or not.

He numbs himself. I should feel lucky that he showed that he cares about me at all, especially since he's been so heart broken in the past.

I took the other plastic glove off in a flash and the hair net came off in less than a second. "I have to go. Please tell your grandmother to call me if she needs anything else." I quickly instructed him and then took off towards the door, leaving a confused Benjamin in my wake.

The heavy, metal kitchen door was unfortunately the bane of my existence as I was attempting to hurry but was caught up trying to push it. "What the fuck?" I cursed, shoving it as hard as I could while the latched door refused to budge. "No fucking way. We're locked in here."

"What?" Benjamin questioned, standing up to come look for himself. Finding I was correct, he began looking for another way out.

"Does anyone have a key? Is there another door going off the other room?" I referenced towards the cafeteria set up that Beatrice was previously working in.

"Uh, there's no exit door going off that room and my grandma left to go find your mother, remember?"

"Oh, of course." I pulled out my phone, bringing up the call app and searching for my mothers contact. The phone rang five times before going to voicemail. Anxiety and panic coursed through my body unwillingly at the thought of being trapped in here with Benjamin until someone realized we were stuck in here. My last attempt was calling my father, and he apparently thought ignoring me would be best as well. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I cried.

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down, we can fix this. Maybe you can just go out the window? Ya know, the one that the people are picking the food up from?"

Why didn't I fucking think of that?

"Oh, man, you're right." My scrambled thoughts quickly collected themselves as I rushed to the other room. The light was much brighter in this room, but I looked towards the window in question. I could see into the main room considering there was no wall in between. People were casually walking by, not paying attention to me.

"Fuck," I whispered, trying to think of any situation in which I could possibly avoid making a scene.

"Let me help you get over the counter." Benjamin offered.

"Do you think people are gonna want to eat this food after my ass has been on the counter?"

"I would." I rolled my eyes at his pathetic attempt and scanned the people who were walking by for any familiar face. Soon, I stumbled on a face I wasn't sure I wanted to see right fucking now at this exact moment.

What is Gustav doing here?

Is this what he meant?

He caught eyes with me from across the room, his chocolate brown ones landing on my sea green ones. My breath stopped, heart stopped, but Benjamin putting his hands on my ass did not.

"What the fuck?" I screeched as I was being propelled over the counter and into the main room—some attention being drawn, especially by Gustav. Holy shit.

Seeing his mouth mimic my previous words made my heart propel forward, starting it's erratic beating once again. Thankfully I wasn't in heels so when I hit the ground, I could start running; faster than I ever had. Tears began welling up inside my eyes, most definitely ruining my mascara.

Becoming closer and closer, I felt like Bella running towards Edward in New Moon—even though it totally wasn't that serious. Was it supposed to feel like I'm in slow motion right now?

I need to fix things with him. That was actually my intention of attempting to get the fuck out of that horrid kitchen that I was nearly trapped inside with Benjamin.

Peep looked genuinely shook. Especially when I jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs right around his waist, completely forgetting I was wearing a dress. A few gasps erupted from the people surrounding us but all I could do was pull Gustav to me as close as could be and bury my head in the crook of his neck.

"Jesus, Evie." He exhaled, his hot breath on my ear and his arms wrapping underneath my butt to keep me up.

"I missed you so so much, and I'm so so stupid. I shouldn't have ignored you." My intention wasn't to start crying, but I knew I fucked up and it was super overwhelming.

"People are staring." He whispered.

"Let them."

"Um, excuse me. Evelyn, what in the hell are you doing?" My mothers irritated voice hissed from behind me. I released Gustav and dropped to the floor, turning to face my mother. Hopefully this cheesy grin on my face gets me out of any trouble.

Pretty much everyone had turned around at this point, but my mother gave me that 'don't fuck with me' look and motioned for me to go out the front door. "You too." She pointed at Gustav.

He lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck, looking like he was a little puppy who had gotten yelled at.

"Sorry," I mumbled to him.

"Oh, you're gonna be sorry." I heard my mother grumble from in front of me and all I could do was just follow her compliantly and pray to God she doesn't freak the fuck out. I pretty much created an unneeded dramatic scene in there, but seeing Gustav for the first time in weeks really did something to me.

When the cold air of the night hit my face, shivers erupted throughout my body. Not expecting it to get so cold outside, I didn't think to bring a jacket.

(a/n : imagine peep wearing this rn btw. not super warm but super stylish LOL)

My anxiety was running high, and I think Gustav noticed because he ran the soft pads of his finger tips down the length of my arms, then covered my tiny hand with his large one.

His silent reassurance soothed me, and somehow I feel like he's already forgiven me.

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