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GUSTAV

Life can be confusing. Everyone knows that, sometimes more than others.

I personally never thought I would be caught up in a situation like this. My best friend being in love with my girlfriend, the girl I've actually put the most time into ever, is kind of a slap in the face.

You can't control who you love and I guess I can't blame the poor guy for falling head over heels for her, I mean, I did—Why wouldn't he?

I guess it's just the fact that they've been in such intimate situations together and he was there for her in times I couldn't be that bothers me. All those times I was comfortable with some of the comments he would make in regards to her? All those times he knew more about her than I did? I don't know how to stomach this.

I pulled my dark jean jacket on before I gathered my phone and pack of cigarettes to go stop at Evelyn's parents house, where I knew I needed to speak to her about this. She's the only person I have left, especially after both Tracy and Wicca left. Coldy and Goth are nowhere to be found and haven't contacted me in days—I guess I'm gonna have to start reaching out to some new people.

Driving there, I kept questioning myself. Has Evelyn known about Bexey this entire time? Why wouldn't she tell me if she did? I keep asking myself all these questions but it's doing no good, there's no way it could. I need to talk to her about the problem and pray she doesn't lie about it. She's not the enemy here, right?

It didn't take too long to get there. I've memorized the route so well now that I could drive here with my eyes closed. I can't believe her and I haven't even actually been together that long and we've been through so much crazy shit together. I can't believe I'm going have to leave her soon.. I don't know what I'm going to do without her.

Speaking of which, it was kind of risky not telling her we all were leaving. Also kind of shitty of me if I'm being honest. She's the only thing I have here and she's all I want. Unfortunately I've put our relationship at risk by hiding things but hopefully she'll be able to look past it considering she's looked past everything else I've put her through, but I'm really trying not to take advantage of that.

I picked up my phone and texted her 'here' as I parked in the driveway. She texted me back, telling me to come in and so I let myself in the front door. I remember coming here the first time and how nervous I was.. Meeting her parents, meeting her favorite cousin.. Watching that cousin beat somebody to a bloody pulp in the Taco Bell parking lot.

Shit happens.

Evelyn just sat there on the couch, quiet, hands folded in her lap while wrapped up in a giant fuzzy blanket. She looked up at me, green eyes practically drinking me in.

"Heya Gus," I missed her voice.

I waved at her and moved to sit next to her. She shifted herself to where I would have more room and she just stared down at her hands again. I took the seat next to her and watched her perplexed face.

"Hey there Evie. How are you?" I questioned the younger girl. I've missed her so much and it's like we've been apart for years although that's not even the case.

"I'm doing okay... I think,"

"What do you mean you think?" I asked, eyes flicking down to her phone screen that lit up with a basic twitter notification and it showed me what song was playing on her phone before I came in. It's The Fall by XXXtentacion.

"Well, I have some things to talk to you about," Evelyn admitted "And it's not good." I sighed, not knowing if I should be nervous or down right terrified. I'm the one who came here to talk to HER, how much worse could it be than what I have to say?

"Well, I have some stuff to tell you too. But I want you to go first. It's okay to tell me—you can tell me anything."

"Bexey kissed me," She spat out.

I sat there silently for a moment. No emotions rushed through me like you'd think they would. I expected this, how could I be angry? I'm not the type of person to react either. Sometimes I'll say some petty shit on social media or I'll get sad but I never lash out like I have since Evie and I have started seeing each other. My natural self doesn't feed into this shit, I just feel so protective over her.

We sat there for such a long time that it was nearly scary. The amount of patience (or stubbornness for a lack of a better, more fitting word) we both possess is terrifying.

"How do you feel about it?" I questioned her. I want to ask because if she is actually in love with him or shares his same feelings I'd like to know before we begin this conversation. There's no point in talking to someone who has their mind already made up. She could easily leave me for him in a second and there is nothing I can do about it. I think that scares me more than the awkward silences do.

"Well, I was not happy to say the least. He called me in the middle of the night asking basically how I was doing. It didn't seem out of the ordinary because he and I are friends so.. I just took it as a friendly phone call—" She sighed and took in a deep breath. "I don't know. Anyways.. He started scaring me. He kept telling me to come to his hotel room to see him because he had something important to tell me but I couldn't tell you, he was very serious and adamant about that and now I can see why." I nodded in agreement. The story started to get my blood boiling. So much for not reacting, eh?

"So, what happened when you got there?" I questioned the long haired girl in front of me. She looks frightened and confused like a forest animal that lost it's way. Possibly this is all way too much for her. "You don't have to keep going if it's upsetting you." I told her, trying to make her as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. Although I'm nosy as fuck and want to know, I'm not going to push her past her limits.

"He said, 'If you care about me like you say you do, you'll do what I'm asking' basically and I caved. I'm a sucker for guilt tripping and everyone knows it." I smiled at her although I grew increasingly pissed at Bexey. How dare he just use her like that? This goes way deeper than I thought.

"That doesn't even sound like him. I mean honestly. He's been acting so fucking weird lately and it's all because of this," I explained to her. I just want things to be alright again.

"All because of me," Evelyn whispered. I felt bad instantly and I know she was not trying to make me feel bad but wow did that tug on the heart strings.

"Baby, no," I started, then wrapped my arms around her—pulling her in for a bone crushing hug. "This is not your fault. You didn't ask for him to do this. It was his own feelings that drove him to make the phone call.. To even see you that night in general. You just wanted to be a good friend to him which is all anyone has ever tried to do. I'm sorry things happened this way..." I apologized to her. "Did he hurt you?" I added with a whisper, not exactly wanting to know if she kissed him back or not.

"You don't have to apologize and honestly I think he was more hurt in the situation than I was.. considering the bruises on his face. It's just been a crazy couple of days. You have no idea how bad I wanted to tell you since it happened and I feel so bad for saying it because Bexey begged me not to but he betrayed all of our friendships here so.. I'm just trying to do the right thing now." She explained, heart heavy. I finally had a real chance to look at her since I've been here.

She knows that Bexey and I fought. Or at least knows something more about our situation than I do. Dark almost bruised looking bags adorned her under eyes. She looked as if she hadn't slept in a month. Her hair was not as youthful looking as it usually was; she didn't look any less beautiful, but she certainly needed a spa day and at LEAST an hours worth of therapy.

"Well, personally I just think it's crazy because I was actually coming here to tell you what happened between him and I as well," She looked perplexed and stared down at her hands again, not quite sure what to say obviously. "He and I got into a fight. Well, more like him and Jazz got into a fight and I stepped in but to say the least it was a very strange interaction."

"Okay—You have to give me way more details," She spoke with interest. Probably more interested that there was a possibility I could have gotten hurt or something but whatever.

I completely left out the fact that fucking with Mackned's coke almost got me killed. She didn't need to hear that, with all the stress she's been going through lately. I don't think I could bare it if I put any more burdens on her shoulders. Especially not with the cryptic ass comments I've been getting from everyone lately—I'm taking everything as a sign even though I know I shouldn't.

"Well, basically I took Wicca to the airport and came back. It didn't take very long at all so I was extremely surprised when I pulled up to the house and there was a shattered TV on the ground underneath Bex's bedroom window. When I walked in, it was only a screaming match. Then, Bex shoved Jazz into the kitchen counter so I'm sure you can imagine what happened next."

"That must be where he got all those bruises from," she noted, still puzzled by something. I didn't want to tell her I may have been also responsible for those same bruises.

"Well, after roughing each other up a bit, I intervened because I was NOT trying to watch anyone get killed and those two were at each others throats. I got Jazz's attention which was enough to distract him so Bex could take off upstairs. I had no idea what was going on at this point, no one offered me any context and they weren't talking to each other, just grunting like a bunch of wild animals," I joked and she giggled. "Finally though, I did get some context from Jazz. He told me Bexey destroyed his entire room and basically just flipped the fuck out on him. Then said some weird shit about how Bex said that he or Jazz failed everyone—I don't fucking know anymore." I chuckled, leaning back against the couch trying to relax. Evelyn joined me and we just stared up at the ceiling together.

"Honestly Gus, I think if he just found someone else we would never have a problem again. I guarantee he doesn't love me like he says he does otherwise he would have made the first move on me, not you. I met him first. We had so much alone time to talk. I've tried to be such a good friend to him and I thought he was comfortable with telling me everything. Apparently not the one thing that's been eating him up the most on the inside." I just nodded in agreement.

"He's been such a good friend to me for such a long time now. I just can't believe it ever had to get to that point. It bothers me a lot. That day I asked him if he could trust me because when I went upstairs to find him he was hitting his head off the wall sitting in the corner of a destroyed room. He looked like absolute shit and no doubt I wanted to be there for him no matter what he thought he did so wrong because to me, personally, I never thought he would hurt me," I confessed to my girlfriend. She just nodded, understanding what I was telling her. I'm so thankful that she is so capable of being the most sympathetic person I know and doesn't ever use it to her advantage in a negative way. "Then, he asked if I could trust HIM. Which I told him yes because up until this point he has never wronged me in any way. Then.. He told me I shouldn't."

"That must have been kind of freaky, huh?" Evelyn questioned, sitting up to take a drink of her lemonade. Standing up to go to the kitchen, she turned to face me. "Want some?"

I just stared at her lovingly. Even though she is my girlfriend I can admit she looks very depressed right now, considering the state of her clothes and overall hygiene but she is still the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. I ran my eyes across her, just trying to make a mental note of her in this way. I want to be reminded that she's human more often. Sometimes I start thinking she's some kind of alien sent to destroy the world because how could a woman ever be so perfect?

"I want SOME of that ass," I joked, lifting my hands in the shape of finger guns and shot her.
She rolled her eyes at me, a smirk still on her lips. "But yeah it was a completely terrifying occurrence. That's that horror movie type shit. I thought he was gonna scoop my eyeballs out and eat 'em or something."

"Well they are a very beautiful chocolate brown. If I were a serial killer I'd eat them too," I just stared at her. Then we both burst out into a fit of laughter.

Three lemonades and a coffee down we finally got to the bottom of the situation. We both shared our experiences, I got to hear all the lovely things he said and did to my girlfriend. It bothers me, no doubt. I'm not going to kill him, but at this point I don't ever see him and I becoming friends again if I'm being honest. You never betray your homies in that way. That's some opp shit.

"Should we talk to him together?" Evelyn asked.

"Now why on earth would we do that, dear?"

"Well, he was both of our friends until this happened. Besides this he's never done anything wrong. Maybe we can set him up on a blind date or something!" She cheered optimistically.

"UH, no. Definitely not. He'll be lucky if I let him in my house to get the shit I bought for him.." I trailed off.

"Oh come on, Gus. You're not that kind of superficial dickhead who's only got materialistic shit on his mind. You know damn well you still care about him, and not only that but what would you do with all of that stuff anyways?"

She was right. I'm only being petty because I'm hurt and I don't know how else to manage it. The only other biggest betrayal in my life was definitely the Layla thing and I don't even want to begin thinking about that again. It almost killed me. I went on a month long bender and wasn't even really writing music or anything. Just getting fucked up and destroying my liver like usual, just a hundred times worse. I can only imagine how MORE fucked up I'm going to get when the dust really settles and I start to think about the situation for what it is. Right now my mind is clouded by feelings and judgment which will get me nowhere.

"Fine, we'll arrange a meeting to talk to him together. I just don't know what's going to be what's lies and truth, he even said himself that I shouldn't trust him." Now, all of this is true.. But I'm really hoping he leaves out a few details here and there because I would rather Evelyn not think I'm just this awful monster who hurt her friend.

"You're right, we'll take it with a grain of salt but I think since all three of us are involved we should all talk. I think you should definitely be there anyways because I don't ever want him thinking that making a pass at me is okay. I know that sounds utterly stuck up but I also wanna be there myself so you guys don't get into some huge fight. It could go a few different ways," I nodded in agreement. "Oh, and there's one more thing." She added.

"What's that?" I questioned.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving for tour the day after my graduation?"

"Uh..."

Holy fucking shit. He told her.

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