I huff as I stare at my reflection, today was Monday, my first day back at hell. The day I've been dreading since I took my absence. I knew that eyes would be on me, questioning me. I was still torn between wanting to make an effort and not giving a shit. I settled with something in the middle.

I let out a shaky breath before I grab my backpack. I knew it was time to leave but I couldn't, my feet were glued firmly in place.

A knock on my bedroom door makes me flinch, the thoughts I were trapped in suddenly fled. The door swings open to reveal my mother frowning at me deeply.

'Autumn, come on. You're going to be late, which means that I'm going to be late.'

I roll my eyes, 'Remind me why I can't drive myself.'

'Well, for starters your car is still in the garage and I don't trust that you'll actually end up going.'

I bite my cheek in an attempt to refrain from snapping at her, instead I settle for a glare before I follow her downstairs.

'Did the school email your schedule?'

'The answer is still the same as when you last asked me, yes.'

'I know, you are nervous but I don't appreciate the attitude.'

I scoff as we leave our house, I shiver slightly as the cool air blows over me. I instantly regret not bringing a coat, but I know if I try and get one now, my mom will throw a hissyfit.

'It's unlocked.'

I nod as I climb inside, I clench my fists as the nerves in my stomach grow from small butterflies to large birds. Part of me felt physically sick.

'You look pale.' My mother states as she gets into the driver's seat.

'I'm always pale.' I murmur as I lean my head against the glass of the window.

She begins driving wordlessly, part of me was thankful for the silence but the other half of me wanted a conversation, anything to distract me from the thoughts that were racing around my head.

'Are the girls meeting you at the entrance?'

I narrow my eyes, 'I told you, we aren't friends anymore.'

'I know but after everything that has happened, don't you think it would be good for you to try and make amends.'

'I'd rather drop dead.'

'Autumn Olivia Martin, don't say things like that!'

I shrug, 'I thought you wanted me to be more open about my feelings.'

Her green eyes roll at my sarcastic tone, my heart stops when a familiar building comes into focus. My stomach drops so deep, it feels like it's been anchored down. My knee bounces up and down as she pulls into a space.

'Here we are.'

I nod stiffly, 'I'm not blind.'

She sighs, 'Please just try, if you won't try for yourself then try for me.'

'Fine.'

I wrinkle my nose as I feel her press a kiss against my cheek, I wipe it off before wordlessly climbing out of the car, I briefly wave before walking towards the front door. The second I'm inches away my entire body is frozen.

It was more the unknown than anything, I didn't know how people were going to react around me, will they be scared? Will they be nice? Will they even acknowledge me?

A hand taps on my shoulder, I flinch at the contact stepping as far away from it as possible. I whip my head around to see the person who has invaded my personal bubble.

Scarlett stands there smiling at me, 'You okay? You've been staring at the doors for the last few minutes. You're going to miss the first period, if you aren't careful.'

I narrow my eyes, 'I'm aware of when the bell rings.'

'I was just checking, I didn't mean it in a bad way.'

I let out a sigh, 'I'm fine, I just don't want to go inside.'

She laughs, 'I know that feeling.'

No, I really don't think that you do. And part of me hopes that you never will. As much as I despised her quirkiness, she was harmless for the most part.

The bell rings, my hands begin to tremble again. I quickly stuff them into my jean pockets.

'I've got to head to class! But the invitation for lunch is still open, I know you said no but think about it!'

The first few periods were a painful blur, people gawked at me as if I was an extinct species, whispering to their friends, I tried to tune out what they were saying but it was useless, I couldn't escape it.

'Is that Autumn?'

'What the hell happened to her?

'I heard she ran away with her thirty year old boyfriend.'

'I heard she got pregnant.'

'I hear she had a nervous breakdown and tried to kill someone'

I don't exactly know what brought me to the cafeteria, my original plan was to hide out in the library until lunch was over. But I didn't know if I could handle the stares on my own, so I decided the company I didn't want was somewhat better being alone. My eyes scan the room ignoring the staring. I exhale sharply as I notice pink curls sitting in a messy bun. I clench my fists tightly as I walk over to her table.

The second I arrive all of her friends stop talking, my body flushes uncomfortably. Scarlett looks up with a wide grin.

'Autumn! You came, come sit next to me!'

I nod mutely as I take the seat next to her, I don't dare to make eye contact with the people she's sitting with.

'You invited the princess to sit with us?'

I turn my head to the owner of the voice, Lucas Wilson. He was the school's drug-dealer, constantly getting thrown out of lessons for making smartass comments. Everyone was terrified of him, since he got put into juvie for a year for getting into a fight with a police officer.  Despite being a total ass, he had the kind of beauty you couldn't miss. It was sickening, when I was in first year, I had the biggest crush on him, that was until he opened his big fat mouth.

'Yes, she did. You got a problem with that?'

'I'm just surprised you'd interact with us mere mortals.'

I narrow my eyes at him, 'What the hell is that supposed to mean?'

'You know exactly what it means.'

I roll my eyes as I bite the inside of my cheek, I scan the rest of the group. Toby Woods had his head nestled into his arms, that didn't surprise me, he was constantly stoned, I don't think I've ever seen him sober. Next to him sat Sammy Taylor, he was too focused on his sandwich to pay attention to the conversation, if you could even call it that, in hand.

I don't think I've ever personally spoken to any of these people in my entire life. And If I had, it certainly wasn't by choice.

'Luke, can you just be nice for me?' Scarlett asks her voice quiet.

'No.'

'Please, I'm your little sister.'

'Step-sister.' He corrects.

'Same difference, we are family! So if I ask you to be nice to someone, you be nice.'

'It's fine, I don't need him to be nice to me.' I state dryly.

Sammy snaps his head up as if he's only just realising, I'm sat across from him, 'I-I'm not smart!'

'What?'

'Look, Autumn, I know I look like I'd get good grades but I really don't. So if you're here to get homework off me, I'm not your guy.'

Scarlett scoffs, 'I invited her, here dumbass.'

His dark eyebrows furrow together in confusion, 'What? Why isn't she sitting with her friends?'

I clench my jaw as I look down at the graffiti filled table, the trembling in my hands begins to come back.

'Because she isn't, don't be so rude!' Scarlett snaps, she turns her attention back to me, 'Did you bring lunch? If you haven't you can have half of my sandwich if you want.'

I shake my head, 'I'm good thanks, I'm not hungry.'

'Is that because your maids made you such a big breakfast?'

I scoff as I look at the dark-haired boy glowering at me, 'I don't have any fucking maids, stop acting like you know me.'

'Oh but I do, I know your type down to a tee.'

'You know nothing about me, so shut the fuck up.'

'You've got quite the potty mouth don't you.'

'Bite me.'

'Only if you ask nicely.'

I roll my eyes as I cross my arms against my chest, 'You are a pig.'

A smirk tugs on his lips as he leans forward, 'I'm pretty sure, you used to have a big crush on me. One of your friends told me, they said I would make your entire year if I asked you on a date.'

Them fucking bitches.

I falter slightly before recovering, 'It was a joke, I would never be interested in someone like you.'

'Ditto.'