For once in my life, I am excited to return to school on Monday morning. For the entirety of the weekend, I've mostly kept to my room except during meals, and even then, no one speaks much about what happened. In a way, I feel even more repressed than before, but sometimes, my siblings give me light smiles, and I realize that some day, this will be a passing memory.

I do my best to hide the bags under my eyes and my greasy hair that could use a wash, but I still look less put-together than normal. I didn't even have the chance to wash my uniform in all the chaos, so I go to school in a sauce-stained skirt, hoping that a teacher won't notice and give me a detention because of it.

"Are you okay, Callie?" Juliet asks when I meet up with my friends in the morning.

"Yeah, you look tired, girl," Hazel states.

"Rough weekend," I murmur. What's worse is that I haven't seen Aurora today either to tell her what happened, but I suppose I can save that for our walk home.

"What happened?" Abigail asks concernedly.

I consider telling them. After all, I was going to tell them last week. All the attention is turned on me. It seems like an opportune moment. But I can't go through with it.

"Stress," I say.

"You really need to find ways to manage your stress better," Hazel tells me.

"No kidding," I grumble.

I don't find it too difficult to focus in my classes. It's a distraction from the events that occurred this weekend, and if anything, I want the day to drag so I don't need to return to my awkward household so soon.

What really puts a damper on things is that I don't have Calculus today, meaning I really have no chance to see Aurora before the end of the day unless I greet her at lunch, but even then...I know she doesn't want to draw suspicion toward us, and I'd rather not showcase my exhausted state to all her friends.

As I head to lunch, I check my phone, my heart leaping to find a text from Aurora. My heart sinks shortly after. She's simply notifying me that she has to stay at school for a meeting, so we'll be unable to walk home together. I consider shooting her a text, asking if we can talk soon, but I don't want to concern her. This is my problem after all, not hers, so I simply tell her I'll see her another time and disappointedly put my phone back in my bag.

I begin eating lunch, only half-paying attention to the conversation around me, until the topic of prom surfaces. My mind flashes to merely two weeks ago when I was cuddling with Aurora in her bed, stroking her hair, and talking about prom with her.

My friends go on their usual prom spiel, but this time, I feel myself growing frustrated. I've had it up to here with prom and dates and having to put on a performance in front of my friends. After the events of this weekend and what Aurora and I spoke about the weekend before, the last thing I want to deal with is the prom discussion again. 

"Well, Callie still needs a date," Allison interjects. "I can ask another friend of Ryan's, since you already said you won't take Colton."

"I don't need you to find me a date," I growl.

"You're going with someone?!" Hazel exclaims.

"No."

"Come on, Callie. Don't go stag. I'll find you someone cute," Allison promises.

I clench my fists. I know I can't blame them. I haven't given them any reason to think otherwise about me, but for some reason, I can't help but let all the words spill out of me.

"I don't want to take a boy to prom," I mumble.

"Just because it was awkward with Colton doesn't mean you should just not bring a date in general," Juliet suggests. "If Allison can find someone, you might really like—"

"No. I mean I don't want to take a boy."

Again. Stares of confusion.

"I like girls," I say at last. This time it feels different, because this time, I say it not with the hope that now Aurora and I will have a future together, but more out of anger, anger that my friends have not been thoughtful this entire time, anger that Allison keeps making homophobic comments, anger that no one seems to listen to me, even when I appear to be crying for help.

Quiet. It hits almost harder than in my household this Friday, even if there are many girls around us chattering as they enjoy their lunches. Everyone stares at me, blinking for a few moments as the reality sets in.

When no one says anything, I continue speaking.

"I wasn't having a rough weekend because of schoolwork," I continue. "I came out to my family this weekend. It didn't go as well as I thought it would. My entire household feels strange and awkward. I didn't sleep or eat much. So...yeah. I'm not in the mood to talk about prom today."

More silence, before Hazel goes, "Holy shit, Callie! Why didn't you say something?"

I don't know if she means about the weekend circumstances, or the fact that I'm a lesbian. Either way, I awkwardly wring my hands together, stating, "I don't know. You guys don't understand. It's difficult and—"

"I'm sorry," Abigail says. "We'd been bothering you for months about prom and dates and such."

"I'm sorry, too," Hazel tells me. "If I'd have known..."

Allison and Juliet are still eerily quiet. By glancing at Juliet, she seems more shocked than anything else, sort of like Olivia the other night, and I can tell she's thinking about something. Allison, meanwhile, seems stern, barely showing any emotion at all. It stings, but I can feel the judgment radiating from her.

Still, I shift my body toward Allison anyway. "That's why I wasn't into Colton. I'm sorry. I really tried to like him, but I just...I couldn't fall for him. Or any boy, really. It became really clear to me at that dance."

"Understandable, I guess," is all Allison says before she goes quiet again.

"That's all you have to say?" I ask.

"I'm just kind of shocked," Allison says. "You didn't strike me as..." She lets her voice wander off, and I realize she was probably going to say something offensive. The fact she holds back her tongue is enough to keep me from growing angry for now. While Allison and Juliet sit quietly, Abigail and Hazel seem enthusiastic to continue speaking to me about this.

"When did you know?" Abigail asks. "You don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable with that or anything!"

"I think I started questioning around fifteen," I admit. "I've known around that long, but I was just kind of ignoring it, which only made me feel worse inside. It's been hard, but I feel better now. I feel...happier, more confident...acknowledging it."

"I wish you'd told one of us sooner," Hazel tells me. "I would've stopped bugging you."

"What happened at home?" Abigail quietly wonders. I appreciate her keeping her quiet. I've been trying to speak quietly this whole time, and thankfully, I haven't noticed anyone looking over, but I realize this is a public setting, and any of the other students here could look over and hear me, though no one knows me in this general vicinity. It's mostly freshman coagulated around us. I'm not as big of a name as Aurora to be noticed or cared about.

"My mom didn't take things well," I admit.

"You can stay with me for a few days," Hazel offers.

"No, it's not like that. She didn't say she was going to kick me out or anything. She's just a bit more traditional, and I think I shocked her. She said that I was confused..." I let my voice trail off as my throat grows chalky. I thought I had cried enough this weekend, but it seems not.

"I'm so sorry, Callie," Abigail tells me.

Trying not to let my voice shake, I take a deep breath and state, "My father doesn't care, and neither do my siblings, of course. It just doesn't feel like the same home as before. I can tell my mom is looking at me differently now."

"Makes sense," I hear Allison say.

I spin around to look at her. "Sorry?"

"Well, you shocked her, kind of like how you shocked me, and Juliet, too," Allison states.

"I—"

The bell is ringing. Before I can get up, Abigail and Hazel engulf me in a big hug, telling me how much they care for me and appreciate me, and for that, I'm thankful, because that was the sort of response I was hoping I would get from my family initially. Allison and Juliet merely head to class without saying a thing.

It feels strange, being out to so many people now. Such a small number, small enough that I can count on my fingers, but so large in magnitude. Eight people. In only a few days.

The rest of the day goes by slowly, and when I finally am picking up my books at the end of the day, Aurora's absence is much too noticeable. I realize I haven't even seen her once today. I was too preoccupied talking to my friends at lunch to even catch a glimpse of her.

I walk home alone for the first time in a while, I realize. The sun feels warm on my skin, and I realize spring is practically here. I can see the first flowers blooming on the edge of the sidewalk, sharing their colorful petals with the rest of the world. I wish I could point them out to Aurora.

I let out a sigh. Should I just call her? Though I also would feel better speaking to her in person. I let out another long sigh, as that seems like the only sound that escapes from my mouth these days.

Coming back home is still strange and awkward. Thankfully, my mother isn't home yet, so I do some homework at the kitchen table until I hear her car pull up. Then, I move upstairs before I can see her. I still need some distance from her, I realize. I can handle a thirty minute dinner, but I can't handle much more than that.

As I work at my desk, I think of all that's happened in the past few days, and I wonder just how many relationships I've managed to tear up.