23. Twigs

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When I finally sit back down with my friends at lunch, I'm smiling like a stupid fool. I'm trying my best to wipe this silly grin off my face before any of my friends become too suspicious, but it's difficult to do so. Now that I've found out Aurora likes me, I wonder what this means for us. I wonder what our futures will hold. I suppose we didn't really establish if we were in a relationship or not, but maybe that's because we were interrupted.

"You okay? Twenty minutes is a long time to be in the bathroom," Juliet says, glancing at her phone's time.

"There was a line, and then I got distracted talking to a teacher," I say.

I don't eat the rest of my lunch past that point. I just helplessly think about Aurora. It becomes a problem in my afternoon classes, because all I can think about is our conversation at lunch, the kiss that Friday night, and the kiss we almost shared a few hours before. To think I almost initiated that one. The clock can't tick fast enough. All I crave at this moment is to walk home with Aurora.

Though only a few hours separates our conversation at lunch and the end of the school day, it feels like a year passes before the last bell rings. I quickly rush to my locker, beating Aurora for once, and exchange my books quickly. There's a faint tap at my shoulder, and I spin around to find Aurora smiling at me.

"Hi," she says shyly, though this time, her awkwardness comes from the fact that we've both acknowledged we like each other, not from her trying to avoid me.  

"Hi," I say. "That afternoon was really long, huh?" I ask as I shut my locker. I take my place beside her and begin to walk out of the school gates with her. 

"Yeah," she breathes.

The snow is starting to melt, though there will probably be one more snowstorm until spring arrives, I'm guessing. Still, the weather is a lot warmer than normal today, and the sun is shining so bright that I shield my eyes with my hand.

"How was the rest of your day?" I ask.

"Long, like you said. We could have gotten in so much trouble, Callie. We're lucky that teacher didn't give us detention, or...or overhear us for that matter," Aurora states as she fumbles with her sleeves.

"They can't expel you for being gay," I state. "There are a bunch of other lesbians at the school."

"Well, still..." Aurora murmurs. "If she caught us kissing each other or something..."

"I wouldn't worry," I say. It's strange seeing Aurora acting so shy next to me. When we first met, she was usually the one leading the conversation, but now, she seems to wait for me to talk.

"Hey, let's hold hands," I say.

"We're still too close to school. What would people think?" Aurora asks with almost a frightening tone.

"You held my hand at the tree lighting no problem."

"I didn't know anyone there!"

"Jeez, fine. But you know, I forgot my gloves today, so my hands are freezing cold. I might have to chop one off by the end of this walk," I say.

Aurora grumbles before she reaches and grabs my hand, interlacing her fingers with mine. Though she at first seems annoyed with the act, she seems to calm down once I squeeze her hand and smile at her.

"I'm letting go if I see someone I know though," Aurora tells me quietly, though thankfully, most of the other students left for the metro station a few blocks back. Right now, the sidewalks are mostly empty, save for a few passerbys. And each time, Aurora lets go of my hand, but as soon as they pass, she grabs onto it again, sending more sparks through my body.

"Hey, Callie?"

"Yeah?"

"Look, I haven't told anyone about this, or about my sexuality, so...so..."

"I won't tell anyone. Don't worry," I say.

"Please don't tell your friends about us. I don't want rumors leaking out or anything," Aurora states. I wonder why she's so paranoid, but I agree, understanding that was how I first felt when I discovered I liked girls. Still, it is disappointing that she only wants to love me in private.

"Did you try to kiss me at the sleepover?" Aurora asks.

"What? No! I felt like I took advantage of you enough just stroking your hair," I murmur.

"You like my hair?"

"It's...soft. And it smells really good," I mumble. "Like coconut."

"Probably my shampoo," she admits. "I've heard that from people before."

"You let other people sniff your hair?!"

Aurora laughs. "No, but I do let other people hug me." 

"Oh." Now that we're farther away, Aurora is beginning to act like her usual self, which relieves me some. I was worried I'd done something wrong asking her to hold my hand a few minutes prior.

"You know, I still haven't seen your house or met your dog, or your parents and siblings for that matter," Aurora states.

"I think you'd stop liking me if you came over to my house," I tease.

"I wonder what you're hiding in there, then, if you won't let me see it."

"Ah, stop. I'll invite you over soon, I promise," I say, squeezing her hand.

We're approaching the corner that we normally split up. My heart sinks. Today has been wonderful, and I know that the end of the sidewalk will end the wonders of today. I let go of Aurora's hand and stop walking.

"Huh? What's wrong?" she asks.

"I want to kiss you."

"What?"

"Well, we were interrupted earlier, and you kissed me last time, so it's only fair. Plus...I didn't want to shock you or anything," I say.

"We're in the middle of a public street, Callie. I don't think this is really the time or place for that kind of thing," Aurora admits quietly.

"Just this once, then?" I ask.

"Callie," Aurora grumbles before she grabs my wrist and shoves me in a weird space between a large, overgrown bush and someone's fence. The branches are poking at my arms, but if this is the only way Aurora will let me kiss her, then so be it.

"Little cramped in here, don't you think?" I ask as she enters.

"Do you want to kiss or not?"

"No, no. I do," I say. I grab onto her arm and stand on my tiptoes, shutting my eyes as my lips meet hers. It feels the same; no, even better, than the first time we kissed nearly a week ago, especially now that I expect it coming and know that she likes me back. Aurora's arms fall to my waist, and her fingers gently hold onto my waist. We pull apart so I can catch my breath. Before Aurora can pull away completely, however, I grasp her shoulders once more and lean forward to kiss her again. She lets out a sound of surprise, but kisses me back nonetheless.

"Okay, okay, no more," Aurora says when we pull apart the second time.

"You're no fun," I murmur as I trace a thumb against her cheek, just as I did at the sleepover. This time though, she shivers at my touch and leans her head against my hand.

"Did you enjoy it, at least?" I ask.

"Yeah," she murmurs. "But we need to go now."

I let out a sigh and remove my hand. Aurora pulls a few spare leaves out of my hair as we finish our walk. I think I agree to kissing in private next time. I don't want to come home with twigs in my hair every day.

"See you tomorrow," I say.

"See you," Aurora replies, evidently still flustered from our kiss. I reach out a hand, wanting to ask her what we are exactly at this moment, but she's gone before I can get the words out.

I turn and make my way back home, feeling like I'm walking on clouds, until I remember that when I go home, I have to be silent and pretend this happiness has a different source. Because for now, this is something highly secretive between Aurora and me. But I know that if this continues, the truth will spill eventually. I'll have to tell my friends, my parents, and mostly everyone I know. The thought causes shivers of fear to run down my spine. 

I suppose for now, I'll have to savor these private moments between Aurora and me.

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