have fun!
*witchy laughter*

***

Harry Styles

"Plus, you can't be Joey."

"Why not?" I stand up, and walk over to the kitchen island, dragging my fingertips across a stack of crossword puzzle journals.

"Because... he's my favourite." She folds the candy wrapper in an origami shape, creating a small boat and resting it on the countertop. My droopy eyes scan over the kitchen once more, being met with a large electric clock reflecting the symbols 4:13 am in the dim lighting.

If I stay in this apartment any longer, I swear I'm gonna fall asleep.

"C'mon." I grab the bottle sitting on the island, and nudge us both to the exit, making Amber furrow her brows in confusion, but after a moment of some introspection, she tiredly rubs her eyes and puts on her almighty yellow Crocs matching the sunglasses in her hair.

After we get out of the apartment, I start pulling her in the direction of the stairs, but she stops me from making any further movement, only to earn a confused look from me.

"You do realize that there's an elevator, right?" She tugs me toward it, making me feel like an idiot for previously almost losing a lung by climbing up several staircases.

We drive down the elevator, and I impatiently wait for the numbers to go down faster by bouncing on my leg like a little child the whole ride down. "C'mon, we're going to miss it!" I impulsively grab her hand and drag her outside the building, as she just stares at me like I'm a freak.

"Miss what?" She skeptically questions, but I ignore her question, starting to run to the path of my destination instead.

The whole suburb fades by in a flash, as I make a turn into a park in the forest, running with every ounce of speed I have.

My heart rate accelerates with each hastening pace, and I feel Amber clutching onto my hand for her life, as it's being the only balance keeping her from tripping over the branches in the way.

"Slow down! Why are we running?" She yells over the wind overpowering our hearing, her bubbly laugh appearing in between sharp puffs of breath.

I act as if I didn't hear her question, and fasten my pace even more, my feet flying over the familiar path I've crossed a few times before, making small yelps leave Amber's lips with each rapid stride I make.

"Hurry! We're almost there," I pant, dragging her upwards the little hill leading to a row of trees.

I finally stop my sprint when we reach the about 150 feet long wooden bridge leaping over a river, the sound of our pants and the stream hitting against the rocks being the only things filling the air around us.

"I'm sorry, but... All that running... Just for a damn bridge?" She looks at me with an unreadable expression, her eyes searching for answers.

"Hold on. C'mere," I softly detach our hands,  take a few steps on the narrow bridge, and sit right down in the middle of it, hoping I won't get any splinters in my arse from the wooden boards.

My legs are left with minimal space, so I hang them over the edge and swing them back and forth. I lift my sight to see Amber now towering over me, her curls running in every direction the wind decides to blow.

I've never brought anyone here with me before.

"What's happening?" She narrows her eyes, but finally takes the seat next to me after I pat down on the free space on my side as a silent answer, creating about a four feet distance between us.

I lean forward and press my forehead to the unsafe bridge's metal railing, trying to observe the view, but my cross necklace gets in the way of my sight, creating a clanging sound against the rusted metal post.

The vicinity's lit just by a small lantern, so it's hard to see anything happening down the river's stream, especially from sitting about 70 feet up from it, but I swear you can come upon trout jumping over the rocks in the daytime.

Amber recreates my actions by dangling her legs down the edge and diverting her sight down in hopes to figure out why I brought her here, but jumps back once she sees how high up we are.

"Holy shit, we're like 50 feet up from the ground." She exhales but fearlessly leaves her feet still dangling down the bridge.

Well, then this probably isn't the right time to tell her this old bridge is actually very unsafe since it hasn't been maintained for a couple of years now.

"That's not why I brought us here, though," I note, watching her give me a puzzled look as if trying to understand my thought process.

I feel the dose of adrenaline from the high elevation fill my veins, making me quite literally feel like on top of the world.

I lay down from my sitting position, my back hitting the damply ruffled wooden boards, still leaving my feet to swing off the edge.

I turn my sight to a few meters on my side, seeing Amber recreating my actions, her head meeting the wooden surface as well, making her sight divert at the nocturnal sky. I notice her nearly gasp at the astonishing view above us.

It's beautiful, truly — seeming as though hundreds of stars are shining just for us.

"Holy shit," she amusedly says, her eyes frantically shooting everywhere over the dark sky like she's trying to memorize each and every luminary.

Looking at her stunned features, I start to wonder if she's ever even seen stars. After all, it's not easy to come upon them in LA.

"Holy shit, indeed." I smile, watching the darkened trees move along the wind, "This is one of the only places in LA where you can see the stars. I come here whenever I need to think."

"Yeah?" She doesn't take her eyes off the gleaming sky, "And what do you need to think about right now?"

I feel this is a good time to take a huge sip of the bottle of whiskey, deciding to just tell her the truth. "I don't know. I think I'm just tired of people lying to me."

"Lying to you?"

"Yeah. It's hard to tell when people are genuine or when they're just saying things to try and get on my good side," I take another sip, starting to wonder if the bitter taste on my tongue is from the alcohol or my heavy heart, "I just want someone to be genuine."

She hums in response, making known she heard me but doesn't give a verbal answer to my statement, so we stay like that for a while, enjoying the pleasant silence and the stream of the river around us. A faint sound of crickets is even audible if you listen closely enough.

As if to check our surroundings, she rolls on her stomach and peeks down at the water once more.

One wrong move and you're plunging down to your death.

"Fuck, we're so high up." She twists around on her back to look at the starry sky again, anxiously inhaling a large breath.

"Are you scared of heights?" I curiously ask, turning my head to meet her eyes, as I get to appreciate her hazel irises.

"No." She defends herself in almost like a ridiculing tone, her eyes glimmering more than the luminaries above us.

"Then what are you scared of?" I start to get curious and turn on my side to face her better, still feeling the adrenaline pumping in my bones.

"What are you scared of?" She backfires the question, avoiding answering mine, as it's seemingly hard for her to open up.

"Easy. The world ending," I simply say, earning a doubtful scoff from her. "Oh, please." She doesn't believe me.

"What? I'm serious. There are catastrophes everywhere around this planet — fires, earthquakes, tornados... Did you know the Sun is halfway to its death? It can actually grow cold. Even the stars die, you know?" I defend myself, taking a sip out of the glass bottle.

"Do you think the world would end in a blink? Like one second you're here, and the next it's all over. Blackout. Quick and painless. All the torment disappearing instantly." She's quick to answer my list of catastrophes, never taking her eyes off me. "Because if that's so, there's nothing to be afraid of."

Seems like she's thought about death a lot.

"Well, that could be a possibility. Seems too easy though. But what if it's something like a slow earthquake, making you die awaiting many torturing hours, and having to watch the whole world fall apart right in front of your eyes?" I start doubting everything again, "I don't want to die alone."

"Well... If that ever happens... you could come over, then. When the sky would fall, we'd be plummeting to our deaths by watching Friends, eating the sour gummy worms, and wearing the colourful sunglasses. Who knows, maybe I'd even give you my yellow sunnies." She shrugs, creating a plan in case of a deadly earthquake.

Even though I know she's kidding by the way her lively laughter rings through the mist air, I can't help but feel the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth for the backup plan.

"Sounds like a plan." I approve, "Now, tell me your fear. Be honest."

"You'll laugh." She finally ends our profound eye contact by laying on her back and returning to look at the moon shining brightly over our heads.

"Well, I'm sure it's better than the world ending." I justify, as she perches herself up on her elbows, and takes a drink out of the whiskey bottle, not even scrunching up her nose at the taste.

"So what is it? Spiders? Snakes? Clowns? Dentists? Maybe death?" I try to figure her out by guessing a list of fears one could possibly have.

"Trust me, I'm far from being afraid of death." She closes her eyes and sighs, leaving me a bit bothered by her statement. "I... I'm scared of falling in love."

Well, that's definitely not what I expected to hear.

"Why?"

She keeps her eyes closed, anxiously swinging her legs at the edge of the bridge back and forth. "Because everything that falls — breaks."

"I'm sorry, but have you ever been in love?" I interrupt the silence around us, so she opens her eyes, turning back to look at me and laugh for some reason.

She shakes her head in denial, clearly struggling to elaborate. "It's not easy for me to open up, you know? I have no idea how you do it."

"I know. I just need something genuine. Something true. You always give me that," I explain, possibly opening up too much in retrospect.

"Honestly, at this point, I don't think I even know what love is," she admits, nervously fiddling with her nailbeds, as I give her an encouraging look, and patiently wait for her to continue.

The expression on her face screams she just wants to be listened to, so I willingly do. I give her every ounce of my attention, and let her speak her truth while not saying anything in return.

Sometimes people just want to be heard.

"I mean, my parents fell out of love, got divorced. And don't let me even get started on my last relationship." She starts laughing at herself, though the corners of her mouth don't quite reach her eyes like they always do.

"Tell me more about it," I try to grasp onto every ounce of information she's giving, as I might be overstepping some boundaries, but I don't think she's ever really opened up to me before.

"W-Well... I thought I was in love. But now that I look back to it, I don't think that's what love feels like." She looks up at the stars and inhales a deep breath, as though mustering up the courage to continue, but this time it's not the strength she needs to open up.

This one seems like it's hard for her to voice the words that have seemingly been dwelling in the darkest places of her soul. "He used me as his arm candy, always showing me off to people. But not in a good way."

"Whenever he had people around, he'd be the most affectionate boyfriend ever. He'd give me his jackets and hold my hand because he had to keep up a good image since he was famous." She takes a sip out of the half-full bottle, as I keep absorbing her story, gluing my eyes on her at all times.

"But when we were alone, he would barely even acknowledge me... sometimes even pressure me into doing stuff with him. I mean, I always tried to justify his actions because he'd treat me like a Goddess when we were around others, so I was naive enough to not really understand it." I notice her voice slightly waver, but she clears her throat before it escalates.

She takes in a gulp of air to steady herself. "I'm pretty sure he was fucking his 'friend' behind my back as well. I mean, not even two weeks passed after we broke up and he was already dating her."

As silence overtakes us, I decide to finally speak up for the first time in a while, "What made you break up with him then?"

I notice her slightly tense from my question as she takes another gulp of the hard liquor to stall her answer. "That's a story for another day." She shrugs it off. "My point is, I don't think love's worth the hassle."

"That wasn't love," I justify, making her eyes snap to mine.

"Doesn't matter. As far as I can tell, it's absolutely pointless to fall in love if it's bound to break." She shakes her head, anxiously fiddling with her nailbeds once again.

"Why do you buy flowers then?" I recall the daffodils she bought in London and the tulips resting in the vase on her apartment's kitchen island today.

"What?"

"I mean, what's the point of buying flowers if they're gonna wilt anyway?" I restate, locking my eyes with her glimmering ones. I swear, they haven't always been like that.

My question seems to have her deep in thought, but after a while, a lopsided smile slips onto her features when she shyly asks, "I'm sorry, but have you ever even been in love?"

"Nah," I drag, wondering if it could be possible for me to fall in love at least once. Though, my career likely wouldn't allow me to get that lucky. As I said, peace is something I'll never get to experience.

"So that must explain why you're such a hopeful romantic." She laughs, snatching my bottle and taking the last sips of it.

"Hey, let a man dream, will ya?" I raise an eyebrow, watching a smile slip onto her features. This time, it does reach her eyes.

"Sounds nice, though." She laughs. "That epic feeling that keeps you going even when everything feels like collapsing. A once-in-a-blue-moon person, if you will."

Once-in-a-blue-moon person.
I like that.

"Sort of like a Halley's comet kind of love, yeah?" I add onto her metaphors, only to earn a confused look from her.

"A what?" She narrows her eyes in thought.

"A Halley's comet. Known for coming around only once or twice in a human lifetime." I explain, feeling a bit idiotic for knowing so many facts about astronomy.

"I guess you could say that, yeah." She smiles with her teeth showing now. "But if you ask me, it sounds like a bedtime story told by a failed parent, knowing that kind of stuff only happens for the lucky."

"Guess we're out of luck, then," I mumble, unsure if she heard me considering my barely-audible voice.

She turns back to the starry sky, both of us laying on the bridge in utter silence, smiles lingering on both our faces, as I watch her every movement, scanning over her gleaming eyes, the Hello Kitty shirt, the yellow sunglasses gotten lost in her curls, and her Crocs dangling over the edge barely staying on her feet. One gust of wind and they could be plummeting down 100 feet into the freezing water.

She's fucking gorgeous.

"I should've brought you here in August. You can see shooting stars then," I sigh, twisting the ring she gifted me around my finger.

"Next time."

After some time consisting of counting the stars, and deciding there are too many to even perceive, she lifts her hand, as though reaching for the luminaries, "Isn't it wild? Frustrating even."

"What?" I ask, my back getting stiff from laying on the wooden boards a few meters away from her.

"How we can admire the prettiest things, but never actually have them?" She closes her fist, pretending to grasp the constellations, then traces the tip of her finger over them like playing a game of connect-the-dots.

I watch her eyes glimmer like two sparks at the nocturnal sight, so I quietly stretch my hand in her direction but sigh when it falls short from the distance between us.

"Yeah, very unfortunate," I keep my sight on her, not talking about the stars anymore.

***

Well well well

how are we feelin'?

I really hope you caught onto the song references ;)

You may not understand now, but a lot (A LOT) of foreshadowing was put into this...

how are we feeling in general? are you doing ok mentally?

feel free to pm me anytime! i've been told i'm a great listener

love yall!
hope you're all ok,
stay safe <3

can you feel my kisses of love?
xx