I ran into the chambers of the Şah Sultana. She stood there with her helpers aghas, who held my sons Mustafa and Ibrahim. My heart broke when I saw them being treated.

My poor sons were still small, they were only six years old. They didn't blame anyone. Did they deserve to be punished just because I am their mother?

- Şah, what are you doing? What did they tell you that you separated them from me? - I asked her, trying not to break at that moment. I saw my sons looking at me sadly and calling to me in tears.

- You're the one who killed my two sisters. You took two lives of my sisters and two lives of my parents. Now I'm taking revenge on you and taking two of your lives. - she told me proudly and came closer to me.

- Take my life, but spare my children. - I told her, looking at her in sadness.

- What would your life mean to me? If I take away someone who means something to you, it will hurt more than to hurt you. - she told me and raised her head above me.

Yes, I did bad deeds. I poisoned her sisters, but how could she make fun of innocent children?

- Don't you have any feelings? What is their fault? That I'm their mother? - I told her and headed towards her. So much anger and sadness overwhelmed me at that moment.

- Aghas, hold her. - Şah Sultana exclaimed and her helpers caught me. Each took me by the hand and took me firmly.

I tried to resist as much as possible. I pounded my feet, pushing them away from me, but I wasn't as strong as them.

Most of all it hurt that my little kids had to watch it in front of their eyes. Which they must have suffered because of my actions.

I started yelling at Şah and her helpers aghas. I yanked myself out of their arms, but then only more of them came and grabbed me so I couldn’t move.

- Now say goodbye to your children. - Şah Sultana said and nodded to the helpers who were holding my children.

- If you have any feelings don't do it to them, they're not guilty of anything. - I shouted at her, with all my strength. Feelings of sadness and aggression were mixed inside me.

- Mother, help us. - I heard the voice of my son Ibrahim, who was taken so hard by the assistants that it hurt.

At that moment, I saw them pulling out the ropes. They pulled out the ropes and brought my children to their knees. They started putting a rope around their necks. I knew what that meant.

- Şah, spare them please. - I yelled at her as much as I could while at the same time tearing myself out of the hands of her helpers.

- Mom, I'm afraid, save us. - Mustafa barely spoke through his tears. I couldn’t look at my children crying. They were so innocent. They didn't deserve this.

- Mustafa, Ibrahim, mom is with you. Mom loves you. - I told them as I tried to move towards them, but without success. I wanted to help them, but I couldn't.

At that moment, the agas started squeezing the ropes around the necks of Mustafa and Ibrahim. The pain in me was so strong, and so was the anger.

I was angry with myself because I knew I was watching the death of my children in front of me, and I was incapable of helping them in any way.

The pain was in me because it was my fault that two innocent children were killed, who were unable to grow up or enjoy life. The pain was because I was unable to help my children but I was forced to watch them die before my eyes.

I only heard their cough and their calling to me. They called on their mother, me, to help them. To save them from trouble. And I had no way to do that now.

- Mom, why don't you help us? - was the last word I heard from my son Ibrahim while he was choking. Until at that moment both he and Mustafa fell to the floor.

Their small lifeless bodies fell to the floor. For the last time, the helpers checked to see if they had a pulse, and just nodded to Şah Sultana to tell her they were dead.

At that moment, the assistants let me go. Şah and everyone came out of the chambers. They left me in a room with two lifeless bodies of my children.

What would I have given at that moment if I had been that lifeless body lying on the floor, not them. My poor children did not deserve it. The pain in me was so strong, I couldn't take it anymore.

I came closer to them. I leaned them on her lap. I touched their cold foreheads one last time. I kissed her children's soft cheeks for the last time. She smelled them for the last time.

I couldn’t hold back the tears. I couldn't stop crying. I blamed myself the most for all this. I knew I would never be able to forgive myself for this.