All day I was tormented by a letter I had read on Bayezid's desk. I couldn’t believe my husband was capable of doing something like that to his father. After grief over the loss of his mother, he immediately starts thinking about how to dismiss his father.

I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore, and I knew I couldn’t tell anyone. I had to keep quiet about what was bothering me to protect my loved one.

But the thing I knew was that I needed to find out something about Lala as soon as possible. The only person I could rely on was Mihrimah. I knew she knew Lala and his past and decided to talk to her to find out everything that was going on.

We sat in her lavish chambers sipping coffee. It was possible to see that Mihrimah was still devastated by the death of her mother, but she tried to be strong.

- Sultana, I wanted to ask you something I am really curious about. - I said to her as I let cup of coffe on the table.

Mihrimah nodded with her head as a sign I can ask her whatever I wish to.

- I heard that before I came to Kutahya, Bayezid has his Lala (teacher). What happened to him later? - I asked her and I could see her face expression changed really quick.

- Bayezid really loved Lala. In first period, Lala was telling everything to our Valide and he was against his marriage with Huricihan. But later, Lala stopped informing our Valide about everything and was with Bayezid. He helped him to marry with her and he had a lot on influence with him. Whatever Lala would say, Bayezid would listen to him. Valide got crazy about that, and she made things for my father Sultan to expell him from Kutahya. And that's why he was sent to Egypt. - Mihrimah told me the whole story of that.

Based on her story, Lala didn't seem to do anything bad, but supporting him in marriage with Huricihan almost led Bayezid to death.

- Aslihan, I have to tell you something important. - Mihrimah changed the subject quickly and looked at me really seriously.

- What it is, Sultana? - I asked her curiously.

- I decided I will have to marry Selim's daughters. They are too big threat to be here. - she said and took a deep breath. I didn't know why Mihrimah doesnt like them, at the end, she was still their aunt.

- I hope you chosed someone who is living far away, you should get them as far as possible from Istanbul. - I said to her hoping she would do it.

- Of course, but I am scared how the things will go now. Father haven't decided who is going to be Grand Vizier now. I have to wait with the decision still. - she said to me.

As I left Mihrimah's chambers I went straight to mine and I saw Defne is sitting on my couch with Handan.

- Mother, this woman tells me she is my real mother and that you adopted me. Is that true? - Handan said as she ran into my hug.

I felt shocked at that moment. How could Defne tell that to a child which is not yet ten years old.

Defne looked at me peacefully. She really changed during this period she was far away from Palace. I knew she has the right to be with Handan again, because she is her real mother. But she abandoned her.

- My love, I will talk with you later. Go play with Meryem now while I talk with Defne, fine? - I said to her as I hugged her.

- Fine, mommy. - she said and kissed my cheeks and went to play with Meryem.

When she said mommy to me it warmed my heart because I looked all those years at her like my own daughter and I always treated her equal.

- Defne, I know she is your daughter. I know you gave birth to her. But how can you tell those things to young child which is now confused and has no idea what is happening? - I asked her calmly as I didn't want any troubles now.

- Because she is my blood. Because I am her mother. I want to be with my daughter and look at her how she grows up. I want to raise her. I want to listen her calling me mommy, not you. - Defne said and her words hurted me deep in my soul.

- If you wanted her to call you mommy then why did you abandon her when you gave birth to her? You didn't even want to see her. I was with her since the first day, I was even breastfeeding her. And you didn't want her. - I said to her seriously.

- But time changed Aslihan. That period I was hurt because I haven't given birth to a boy. I wanted to give birth to a son, to became Sultana. I thought I would have happy life with Bayezid. That he would love me the same way he loves you now. I was jealous. - she said and looked sadly at the floor.

- Why did you think about that only now? I've spent all those years with her looking at her as my own daughter. I never made any difference between her and my other children. - I said to her.

- Because time changed Aslihan, and you know it alone. - Defne said to me seriously and stood up. She raised her head and stood in front of me.

- What do you want to say with that? - I asked her because I was curious what she has to say about this.

- I am not anymore that stupid Defne which is thinking only about how to get Bayezid and to gave birth to a son
Now I am woman which is ready to take care for her daughter and live with her. And you, you arent innocent Nadia anymore. You are power hungry Aslihan. - Defne told me really seriously. Her words hurted me because she called me power hungry. I wasnt like that, was I?

- I am not power hungry, Defne. You would also change if you survived everything that I did. - I said to her as I couldn't stand her words anymore.

- It's all your fault that it happened to you. You mixed in things that weren't your job. You arent innocent as you were before, you must admit it. - she said to me as she raised her head high.

- Is it my fault that Hurrem Sultana hated me? And do you know why she hated me? Because I didn't want to do her orders. I didn't want to do whatever she ordered me. Is it my fault that Nurbanu Sultan hated me? - I said to her as I was pretty annoyed.

- There is your fault in all of those things, Aslihan. And you have to think alone of that. But you know what, you won. But Hurrem, Rustem, Selim, Nurbanu, they are dead because of you. Only because of you. - Defne said to me.

I was really angry at her now and I was ready to slap her across the face but I didn't want to make any more problems as I knew Bayezid is angry on me.

- You may accuse me its my fault, you weren't here when those things happened. You shouldnt mix into them also. - I said to her as I tried to calm down.

- I don't care, Aslihan. I just want to have Handan with myself, because she is not safe when she is close to you. - Defne said and left my chambers.