30th Chapter

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- Nurbanu, please, give me my children. - I said as I stood on my place, not moving even a step because I knew she is ready to throw my kids in Bosphorus.

- You think I will give them to you that easily? After everything you done to me? - she asked me sarcastically. I knew Nurbanu is crazy, but I never thought she is capable of doing something like this.

- Nurbanu, I understand you hate me. You can do whatever you want to me, but dont touch them. Nothing is their fault. - I tried to explain to her, but she didn't even care. I couldn't look at my babies in her arms, because she was ready to do whatevet she wants in that moment.

I heard them both crying at that made my heart break at million pieces. At least I knew they are healthy and alive.

Sultan Suleyman and Bayezid were standing behind me. They were also aftaid what Nurbanu could do now. I knew I shouldn't mess with her. I knew she is really evil to do something like this.

- Nurbanu, we won't send you to Egypt. You can stay in your Palace together with Selim and your children, just return the children to Aslihan. - Suleyman told her calmly trying to make her calm down a bit.

- You think that will make me give you them? You only care about Bayezid and his children, Hunkarim! What about our children. If in front of you was standing Aslihan which kidnapped my children, would you do the same? - Nurbanu asked him in distrust.

- I would do the same. Life of members of our Ottoman Dynasty is most important. Now Nurbanu, give me them. - Suleyman said to her.

- I will give them to you if you do what I want. - Nurbanu raised her head and said.

- I will give you whatever you want just to return my grandchildren. - Suleyman said.

- I want Aslihan's head. Only if you give me her head, I will return grandchildren to you. - Nurbanu said.

At that moment, my heart broke at million parts once again. It was my life or life of my children.

- You can't do it. I won't give you Aslihan's head. She is their mother, they need her. - Bayezid yelled at Nurbanu.

- You have ten minutes to chose, Bayezid. Do you want to see your wife dead, or to see your children dead? - Nurbanu said to him while she was laughing. Today I found out what kind of snake she is.

I would understand if she was Bayezid's wife so she would hate me so much, but she was Selim's wife. We never get in touch until we are in Istanbul. Why do those things matter to her so much?

- I will never chose between them because I love them all equally. You are no one to give me such conditions. - Bayezid yelled on her.

- I can give you those conditions because I have right to do it this time. Fate of your children depends on me. You will chose. Do you want to have your children alive, or children which won't be able to give you more children? Anyway you will have to find another woman to give birth to your children, because Aslihan is useless. - Nurbanu said laughing at me.

Her words hurted me so much. She and Selim enjoyed emphasizing  that I would no longer be able to have children.

- Nurbanu, I will kill you at first opportunity I will get. You and Selim. - Bayezid yelled on them. Suleyman didn't want to mix into those things anymore, as he saw Nurbanu won't give us children.

I turned to Bayezid and stepped closer to him. I looked at him deeply in eyes, maybe for the last time.

- Chose your children. As she said, I won't be able to gift you with more children. Any way you would need to find another woman. Maybe you will start loving her. Risk my life. Kill me. Just let the children survive. - I said to him and took his hands.

- I will never let anyone touch you or do something bad to you. You are most precious I have. I won't give you to her. - Bayezid kissed my forehead.

- I love you Bayezid. Please take care of them. I will give my life to their life. - I said to him and kissed him for the last time.

-Have you decided? - Nurbanu asked us. I took a deep breath and walked towards her.

- I am ready to give you my life, but please I want to kiss my children for the last time. - I said to her.

- No, I don't allow you. - she said and looked at another way.

- Nurbanu, you are mother also. Please, that is only thing that I want. - I looked at her sadly. I didn't know if this is going to work, but I hoped it will.

- Okay. For the last time. - she said and gave me both of my children at the same time.

Firstly I kissed my Murad for the last time. My first born and only child I gave a birth to. My poor soon which is probabbly going to have to suffer his whole life because of his health. My biggest love.

Then I kissed Handan which I loved equally as Murad. I loved her as she was my daughter.

I only wanted this moment to last longer. I only wanted my children to be happy in their life. I hope Bayezid will take care of them well after my death.

My end has came. When I return children to Nurbanu, I will end my life. I wasn't even twenty years old. My children lost their mother while they were still babies.

I know Bayezid is going to be good father. I believe in him. I know he can do it.

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