18th Chapter

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Throwback to last night in palace
- Bulbul-aga, tell Aslihan Hatun to come to me now. - Bayezid said to Bulbul aga right after Defne left his chambers.

- I am afraid I can't, Prince. - Bulbul aga said and looked at the ground.
- What are you talking about? She told me she has to say me something important. I want to see her immediately. - Bayezid said to Bulbul.

- Prince, Aslihan Hatun wanted to see you before she left the palace, but you didn't want to. Aslihan Hatun was very disappointed them and decided to leave right now. - Bulbul said, but he was kinda ashamed to talk like this to a Prince.

- What? What are you talking about? How can she leave without telling me anything?! - Bayezid stood up from his working table very angrily.
- I am sorry, Prince. She wanted to say to you, but you didn't accept her, so she left it then. - Bulbul said.

- Bulbul, where did she go? - Bayezid was really angry and came to Bulbul really agressively.
- Prince, I promised I won't say... - Bulbul tried to say but Bayezid shaked his arms really angrily.

- I will get you beheaded if you don't tell me where she is! I need to find her right now! - Bayezid yelled on Bulbul.

Bulbul was looking at the floor as he was scared of Bayezid who had a lot of problems with his anger issues, and right now he was very mad.

- Prince.. She went to live in house of Beyaz Hatun, nurse which works in Palace. - Bulbul said even though he didn't want to say it.

- Tommorow morning you will send carriage that will take her back to palace. She must return. - Bayezid yelled on him.

At that moment, Hurrem Sultana came in. She was looking at Bayezid the whole time, and she signalised Bulbul to leave.

- Valide, did you know that she left the harem? - Bayezid was still shocked and angry.
- I know. She visited me before she left. - Hurrem told him as she sat on his throne.

- Valide, how could you let her leave like that? She shouldn't do that! - Bayezid said to her really angrily.
- Don't raise your voice in front of me. She is not slave in this harem and you knew it well before you took her here. She can leave whenever she wants to. You knew this could happen. - Hurrem said to him angrily.

- Valide! I knew it, but she left without a reason. She didn't even wait for me to end my conversation with Defne, she left immediately. - Bayezid said and tried to be less angrily, but it was hard for him to do it.

- I would do the same on her place. You took her from Istanbul here in harem and make her one of your women. And when you found out Defne is pregnant you immediatley abandoned her. Why should she stay anymore in this harem? - Hurrem asked him with a laugh.

- Valide, I didn't abandon her. I am happy because I am getting a child. Maybe I've spent little too much time with Defne, but I didn't abandon her. - Bayezid tried to explain everything to his mother, who couldn't understand him.

- Aslihan Hatun did what was best for herself. And I am happy she did that because this will give you good lesson, Bayezid. Every time you do something wrong. This woman was only one who could take you on a good way, but you didn't want that. Instead, you abandoned her. - Hurrem said to him being disappointed in his acts.

- Valide, firstly you told me you dislike her, why are you defending her now? - Bayezid asked suspiciously his mother.

- Because you must have a woman with charachter which will lead you on a good way. Selim has Nurbanu which has strong charachter, even though I can't stand that snake and she did lot of evil, she was always here for Selim. And you? What will you get with your women? Firstly Huricihan which only led you to bad decisions and now Defne which doesn't have charachter and agrees with everything you said. - Hurrem said really seriously to Bayezid.

- Valide, I love only Aslihan. First you are telling me I need to get heir, and now when my concubine is pregnant you say I shouldn't be happy about this all? - Bayezid was confused with her words.

- You don't understand what I want to say and thats because you don't think the right way. That's why you will never be successful and Selim will. - Hurrem said which really hurted Bayezid.

- And what is that what makes Selim better than me? Ever since we were young children everyone including you loved Selim more than me. He was always better than me. - Bayezid said to Hurrem and you could heard disappointment in his voice. He was hurted by her words a lot.

- I've always loved you equally, moreover I want you to success your father one day on the throne. - Hurrem said giving him a comforting smile.

- Then what is it what makes Selim more successful than me? - Bayezid said as he was really hurt.

- Because behind every powerful man stands a strong woman. - Hurrem said to him giving him a proudly smile.

Next morning
I woke up and when I opened my eyes I was lost where I am. It took me few seconds to realise I am at Beyaz Hatun's house and that from now on I am living here.

I wanted to do whatever is needed to forget about Bayezid, but I knew that won't be easy. I wanted my life to start from new beggining.

I went to the main room in her house and I could see her eating her breakfast.
- Goodmorning, Aslihan Hatun, you used to sleep for so long in harem? - she asked me and laughed.

- Please, call me Nadia. I don't want to be Aslihan anymore. - I told her as I joined her on breakfast.

At that moment, somebody knocked on the doors. Beyaz Hatun went to open the doors and she saw Cevri Kalfa.

- Aslihan Hatun, prince Bayezid ordered us to take you back in Palace. - she said and gave me a wide smile.

Beyaz looked at me with interest beacuse she was really interested how I am going to react on this.

- I don't want to return there. - I told Cevri and continued to eat my brekfast.
- Aslihan, Prince is very angry. He had a fight with his mother last night and he doesn't even want to see anyone except you. - Cevri Kalfa told me as she was trying to convince me to return to palace.

- If he really wanted me to come back, he would go here by himself to see me. Tell him my words. - I smiled to her and saw her and Beyaz being really shocked about my words.

- Aslihan Hatun, you know Prince is going to be really mad about this? - Cevri asked me with a sad expression of her face.
- You can only tell him my words. I don't care if he is going to be mad. I don't care about him anymore. - I told her and continued to eat.

Cevri was standing on the doors for few more minutes, before she sadly left.

And I couldn't understand Bayezid. Now he thinks I will come back? He didn't even came here by himself to ask me that? This hurted me even more. But I've promised myself I won't return there.

He could even come by himself here and I still wouldn't want to return. This only showed to me how I am not important to him, and the sad part was that I really thought I am important to him.

Maybe if I never became close to him, my brothers would be alive. I could went in Russia with them and have happily life, not like this.

I am the one who's fault is the biggest, because I've listened to my heart when it was time to listen to my brain.

Its my fault I believed him in his fake words and all his lies. I really thought somebody loves me for the first time. But I was wrong, obviously.

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