*Hands over two Oreos*

Sorry for the delay guys!
Enjoyyyy!

Emily's P.O.V.

Even though I was very very irritated right now, I knew exactly how Perri was feeling.

That feeling of uncertainty you experience when you don't know how to act in front of a person anymore.

I have experienced that a number of times so I'm very familiar with the worried look on her face as we enter Cole's house.

Ever since that day at the carnival Perri hasn't spoken about Cole but she hasn't been acting different around Cole. I guess she's a lot better at suppressing her emotions than I am.

The moment we walked into the house, following Dylan, I felt a weight on my shoulder.

I looked to the side to see Ryder casually strolling beside me.

Ryder has been acting weird. A lot clingy than usual. He's been taking every chance to hold my hand, talk to me, to whisper in my ear and honestly, I'm not complaining.

I love the way he touches me. Everytime he touches me, it's with so much care that I almost want to melt in his arms.

But the one thing that bothers me is the fact that we are the only one's that know about our feelings and we haven't made anything official yet. The fact that he's acting like this is front of all our friends makes me feel like, he has an ulterior motive.

My suspicion was proven right when I frowned up at him and he was not even looking at me. I followed his line of vision and saw him glaring at Connor.

My frown fell as disbelief set in.

I subtly turned away towards the others, making his arm to naturally fall of my shoulder and walked away.

It was him. It was Connor. Ryder has been acting weird because of him.

It all makes sense now.

The girls were right, after all.

He's so stupid.

'He doesn't know...'

I sighed as we reached up to Cole's room. Dylan being Dylan walked in without knocking.

"What the fuck?" Cole croaked, looking at us filing into his room in surprise.

"They're here to check on you man." Dylan stated, seeing his alarmed expression.

"That's really sweet, guys." Cole said with a tired smile. "But knock next time, I could've been naked."

Mia groaned. "We can never have a normal conversation, can we?"

Cole chuckled, but his look turned into a frown as his eyes landed on Connor. "Um...?"

"Oh right." I exclaimed. "Cole, this is Connor, my old friend. Also, he goes to our school."

"Hey." Connor waved, while Cole returned it with a tired smile. "Sorry for barging in like this."

"Oh don't worry. I live with this idiot. I'm used to it." Cole said, pointing at Dylan.

Dylan rolled his eyes while Lexi stepped forward. "How did this happen though?"

Before Cole could answer she jumped back with a jerk. "Is it contagious?"

Cole chuckled. "I don't think it is. Dylan's fine."

Everyone nodded.

"I'm just too strong." Dylan said, flexing his bicep.

Everyone obviously ignored him.

"And to answer your question, I have a pretty sensitive throat and my tonsils get infected pretty easily. There's nothing I can do." Cole said, bursting into a coughing fit.

I could notice his weak state. His eyes were tired and he looked like he's in pain everytime he spoke.

"Guys I don't think this is the right time to play question answer with him. He needs to rest." I said, walking closer to him.

I placed a container on his side table. "Here. I brought some soup for you."

"Aw thanks Em." Cole smiled. "But really I'm fine, I've been resti-"

"Just lie down and rest. You're not fine." Perri's stated sharply, startling everyone.

"Per-" Cole started, but was cut off again.

"This happens to you every year. And it gets worse when you don't rest and strain yourself." Perri said, glaring at him. "So, shut up."

Cole continued to stare at Perri in shock while Perri looked at him with such strong emotions that her eyes were almost hazy.

I could see the wall she built up that day at the carnival slowly crumbling down as her emotions got the best of her.

To say that we were all shocked, would be an understatement. Perri is usually the level-headed one in the group and to see her raging like this is something I never thought I'd get to see.

"Yeah... We'll just..." Dylan started, slowly inching towards the rest of us and away from Cole and Perri. "Yeah you're on your own, brother. Women are scary."

One part of me wanted to stop her, to comfort her as she might say things she doesn't mean when she's this emotional but a bigger part of me wanted to let her deal with this on her own.

After all these years of experience, I've realised how important it is to actually let out your emotions and express how you really feel. Only then will you finally be at peace.

'I smell hypocrisy.'

Fuck off.

We slowly filed out of Cole's room and Lex shut the door, leaving those two in.

"So... That happened." Lex muttered.

"That's gonna be a while..." Dylan said, glancing at Cole's bedroom door. "Anyone want pizza?"

"Is that all you can think of?" Lex groaned, making me realise how serious the atmosphere has become.

"We're ordering Chinese today." She scoffed, making me facepalm myself.

Serious, my ass.

"Wait, so we're just gonna sit around, till they're done talking?" Connor asked, confused.

"Got a better idea?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

He chuckled in response. "I see, nothing's changed."

Everyone looks at him with confused looks.

"You lot have always been the type to be for each other. Even if you have to wait for them to come around." He said, smiling, while we exchanged sheepish glances. "It's cute." Connor said, strutting into the living room, leaving us astonished.

*****

Ryder has been fidgeting non-stop since the moment we sat around the living room table.

I still don't know how I feel about the discovery of his weird behaviour and the fact that I can't do anything about it is just making me anxious.

So naturally my mind and body starts to repel the source of my anxiety. When we sat in the living room, I instinctively took a seat between Connor and Lex, while Ryder ended up sitting on the single seater alone.

I could see his hands fidgeting as if he's itching to hold or touch me but I tried not to glance at him so much.

He, on the other hand, was not doing such a good job at hiding his emotions.

Everytime my arm or thigh brushed against Connor's, I could see him visibly tense up and I know that I'm not the only one who noticed.

I was laughing at something Dylan said when Connor got up from his seat to get a call.

He gave me a sign and I smiled in understanding as I knew who it was.

About a minute passed and then I suddenly felt a grip on my arm. I looked up to see Connor motioning for me to follow him.

I followed him a little farther from the seating area and their hearing distance and he turned to me, excitement radiating off of him.

"This is it. It's today." He said, and my eyes widened, waving his phone in front of my face. "He's coming."

"What? I mean, wow... But like this? All of a sudden?" I asked, still in shock.

"Yeah, it's about time." He said, before glancing towards the others. "And there's only so much glaring I can handle for a day." He smirked.

My lips parted as I sighed. "I'm sorry. I was a little late to realise."

"You don't need to be sorry." He said, ruffling my hair. "And I see the way he looks at you. This is the least I can do, for you."

"But it's your decision to make, turn. You don't need to do this for me." I said, looking up at this man with such a beautiful heart.

"I'm not just doing this for you, Mill. As I said, it's about time." He said, with a warm smile. "And I'd like to set things right for you as much as I can, specially after everything that went wrong three years ago."

"You don't have to blame yourself, you know?" I said in a small voice.

"I know. I'm not." He said. "But I promised him, I'd take care of you."

I smiled, before he pulled me into a hug. I chuckled, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"Also, I have a feeling that I'm not the only one who blames himself." He mumbled into my hair, making me tense up and hold him tighter.

"Thank you." I said. "For everything. For being here."

He chuckled and rather than hearing his crude comeback I felt him being ripped away from me suddenly.

My eyes flew open in shock only to see Ryder holding Connor by his collar.

"Ryder!" I exclaimed, rushing towards them.

He suddenly turned to look at me with such intensity that I stopped in my tracks.

His stance was tense and anger radiated off of him but his eyes, they showed pain.

He turned his head back to Connor before I could say anything.

"Why is it you?" He seethed.

"Ryder, listen-" Connor tried to speak but Ryder's grip tightened on his collar.

"Why the fuck is it always you?" Ryder's voice lowered as he slowly let go on Connor's collar.

"Ryder-" I stepped forward but he raised his hand as a signal for me to stop.

"I don't want to be the guy who comes between two people. And it always sucks to be the second choice." Ryder said, his shoulder sagged in defeat.

Second choice?

Why would he-

Wait.

My eyes widened.

He thinks I've always chosen Connor over him. Even that night, three years ago, I remember Connor telling me that Ryder called me when I took off to meet him.

I stepped forward. "No. Ryder, that's not it. Connor-"

Ryder suddenly turned to face me, pain evident in his eyes.

"Then what is it, Emily? I know I've done nothing but hurt you and I'm trying to make up for every single bit of that." He said, his eyes losing the usual humor that they held. "But I don't know how long I'd be able to hold on to being the second choice. Do you like him?"

My eyes wavered as I felt a pinch of pain in my heart at his words.

I never knew. I never knew what he'd been going through. I never knew how he interpreted my words or actions, since he had no explanation.

"Man, it's just a misunders-" Connor started in a soothing voice as he realised how tense the situation is.

"You shut up!" Ryder said, glancing at him.

"Ryder!" I exclaimed, making him turn to me in shock. "He did nothing wrong. I'm the one, responsible here."

He looked at me astonished, before he bit his lip and scoffed.

"Great. The situation here is pretty clear, then." He said, his voice growing sad.

"It's really not." Connor said, but I sent him a warning glance.

"No amout of explanation would be enough if he doesn't trust me." I asked, throwing caution to the wind.

His eyes met my pleading ones as he spoke in desperation. "Trust you? Miles, I've done nothing but trust you all these years. Even when you disappeared without a trace, I trusted that you had a reason. But now I find out that you didn't trust me enough to know where you were for three fucking years but he knew!" He finished with his voice increasing in volume.

My nose flared. "Don't you fucking yell at me! YOU KNOW NOTHING."

"BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" He yelled and I noticed, moisture in his eyes.

"After everything that I've told you, you think that I don't trust you?" I asked in disbelief at how incredibly stupid he sounded.

"Well, he knew everything first!" He retorted. "Isn't it natural to think that you have a much stronger relationship with him?! Everytime I express or try to express my feelings, he drops in, out of nowhere and ends up making me feel pathetic."

I stood there looking at him in disbelief.

"Ryder, man. Stop." I heard Dylan's voice but we were both on a whole different level of rage to listen to anybody right now.

We both stood there, glaring at each other, with our chests heaving up and down due to our ragged breathing.

"Uh guys?" Connor's voice said but he sighed when we didn't budge. "Mill? There's someone who wants to meet you all."

As soon as I registered those words, my eyes widened and I whirled around to face the source of the voice.

My eyes landed on Connor standing in front of everyone with a tall, blonde guy with warmth in his eyes.

All the muscles in my body loosened up from their tense state as I saw Antonio standing there with an amused look on his face.

My eyes met Connor and he threw a wink in my direction before turning to everyone.

"I wanted to wait till Cole and Perri were done talking but the situation demands improvisation so guys, I'd like you to meet Antonio." Connor said the next part with his gaze glued at Ryder. "My boyfriend."

There was silence for a few seconds and then I heard tiny gasps from around the room.

I didn't turn to look at Ryder's reaction when I didn't hear one.

Antonio raised an awkward hand to wave at us. "Uh hey?"

"Hi Tony." I said, with a tired smile.

"How've you been little Emily?" He said, with a warm smile making me roll my eyes.

"You're older by a month. And I'm doing good." I said, mirroring his smile.

"Oh shit!" Dylan muttered, making me drop my gaze from Tony's.

"Hi! I'm Lexi, short for Alexis." Lex moved forward. "Do you have a brother, by any chance?"

I rolled my eyes but I was glad for Lex to have picked up a conversation.

Wanting to get away from here, I started to make my way to the backyard to get some fresh air.

I barely took ten steps when I was grabbed by my arm and I was pulled in the same direction. Ryder had grabbed hold of my arm and he was heading to the backyard as well.

I tried to break free from his grip but it was of no use.

We reached the backyard and he shut the door before letting go of my arm.

"What is wrong with you?" I gritted out, stepping away from him.

"We were not done talking." He said, with the same intensity.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm done talking to you."

"You can't always run away from consequences Miles." Ryder said, and for some reason it added to the flame that burnt inside me.

"Consequences for what? For you acting like an unreasonable child? I don't think I should be on the receiving end of it." I said, rage clear in my tone.

"Just because I was wrong about one tiny thing, that makes me unreasonable?" He said raising his eyebrows. "Well, I'm sorry for assuming that there were romantic feelings between you and Connor when your actions told me otherwise."

"You don't get to throw sarcasm in my face right now Ryder. I can't believe you would accuse me of such a thing." I said, and I couldn't help but feel hurt.

"Can you blame me? Even if he's gay that still doesn't change the fact that you always choose him over me. What do I do with myself when you find someone better to be your first choice?" He said, hurt dripping from his words.

"Ryder, after everything that we've been through. How can you even think that you could be my second choice?" I exclaimed, the volume of my voice increasing with every word.

He hung his head, shutting his eyes. "I can't help but feel this way when he knew where you were all these years while I could do nothing but only hope to see you once again."

I sighed, as tears of frustration brimmed my eyes. "He knew because he was there!" I yelled.

He tensed up before raising his head.

"He was there when the accident happened and he has blamed himself ever since, for everything that happened." I said, stopping to breathe. "He was Ethan's best friend, just like you were mine."

A lone tear escaped my eye before I quickly wiped it away. "I was injured and couldn't move when the accident happened so Connor was with Ethan when he took his last breath. And do you know what Ethan said to him?"

Ryder shook his head slightly.

"He asked Connor to take care of me. To make sure that I'm fine and I never get hurt ever again."

Ryder's eyes widened slightly before he looked down.

"I still didn't listen to him." I continued, maing him look up. "I went against Connor and Alec to run away from the hospital that day. Why? Because I wanted to be with you. Connor was Ethan's pillar but you were mine and I needed you. I never chose anyone over you, Ryder."

I looked away from him as more tears started falling from my eyes at the painful memories.

"After all that's happened, I have no idea why you'd act like this." I said, my breathing growing ragged and the residual rage resurfaced.

"After every attempt of mine to give you the explanation you deserve."

"I don't get why you still act like a fucking child when we are concerned." I said exasperated. "My life is a mess, so why can't you just let it be?!"

"Why can't you just let things be the way they are? Just-"

"Because I love you, Goddamnit!"

My lips and my entire body fell numb at the sudden outburst from Ryder.

"What?" I whispered.

He kept his head hung low while his chest heaved due to his ragged breathing.

"So much for doing it right." He shut his eyes before looking up at me.

"Miles, I can't." He said, making me frown. "I can't just let it be. I can't just let you be. Your life isn't a mess. You've just been through a lot, a little too early."

He took long steps towards before stopping in front of me. "I act like a child, I can't leave you alone, I always want to be around you and I absolutely can't see you get hurt because I fucking love you."

He cupped my face, while my lips parted in surprise.

I didn't know what to do. It's almost like my body had been disconnected from my brain and I was floating.

"I didn't want to scare you, so I planned to confess after a few dates but the situation demands improvisation." He said, looking down at me, sheepishly. "And I'm sorry."

I frowned in confusion.

"For yelling at you." He muttered. "I know how much you hate that."

As if a switch went off in my head, I snapped back into reality and narrowed my eyes at him.

Without wasting a second to think, I raised my knee on instinct and it connected with his family jewels.

He lets go of my face and bent down and landed on his knees, whimpering in pain.

I heard the door to the house open and a head popped out of the house.

"Wow, I never imagined a confession to end up like this." Dylan muttered, looking at Ryder, wide-eyed.