Chapter: Now What?

Author: Axel Otto

As soon as I stepped out of my hotel room, there was Tucker. In his underwear.

"FUCK YOU!"
Tucker looked taken aback. "What? Axel, we have a serious problem—"
I stepped towards him. "Yeah we fucking do, asswipe!"

"SHHH! It's 3 AM, Axel! People are sleeping!" I rolled my eyes at him, and I could feel myself heating up even more. I dropped the level of my voice anyway.

"I can not believe you," I took another step closer to him. So close, that I could tell how red his eyes were. His cheeks were blotchy, like they got when he had been crying, even if only for a few minutes. I felt my brows furrow, but I continued bitching him out anyway. "You didn't write any of it. NONE of it! You're the one who fucking started it, too! You're the one who begged for me, that night at the bar! And you didn't fucking write one word of it!"

Tucker paled. He took a step back from me. "You read it? You read part three?"

"Yeah, well it's not like you had anything to hide!"

"And you did." It wasn't a question. Tuck read it. He read my confession, my secrets, he practically read my mind. I grew furious all over again.

"Tucker!" I was being a whiny bitch. "Why would you do that! I told you not to!"

His face softened into a look of sympathy. "Axel, I—"
"No. No you don't. You just don't get it. Your part three wasn't humiliating, it wasn't degrading, it wasn't disgusting, like mine was. Yours, it was, it was... IT WAS BULLSHIT! It was a lie! It wasn't the truth, you didn't tell the truth! I can't believe you!" I was livid. "All this time, I've been writing every damn thing, everything that has happened between us. I've written everything I've felt about us, about you! It's not fucking fair!"

"Do you want to know why I couldn't write about us Axel? Do you really want to know?!" Tuck was just as infuriated as I was. I snarled at him; he didn't have the right to be as angry as me.

"What dumb ass excuse have you conjured up to spare my feelings this time?"

He glared at me. "Dumb ass excuse? I don't have an excuse, Axel, I just have the truth. The truth is, I tried. I tried writing about us, but every time I wrote something, it felt fake. I didn't know if there were even words to describe what being with you felt like. I still don't have words to describe it! And then, Ax, I thought about it, and I didn't want to write any of it anyway. You want to know why?" He didn't give me enough time to answer. "Because I didn't want anyone else to have it; to have you. I didn't want anyone else to know what touching you feels like. I didn't want anyone else to know what it's like to be kissed, really kissed, by you. I didn't want anyone to be able to feel what I felt. And maybe it was selfish of me. Maybe it was rude, and I know it pissed you off, but I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't. I'm sorry Ax, but to me, you are sacred. And so are the things we do together. So sorry, if I don't really feel like sharing that with the entire population."

I couldn't speak. I tried, I opened my mouth and tried, but nothing came out.

"Just, never mind all of that," Tuck was clearly here on another mission. "We have a bigger problem."

I didn't think a bigger problem could exist. "Fuck, now what?"

Tuck swallowed. "Maggie read the book."

"How the hell did Maggie get her hands on the book?!"

Tuck shoved two copies of the draft at me. I hadn't noticed them before, but now I certainly did. Both of them were read; you could tell easily. Since it was a first draft, it wasn't an actual book. It was just pieces of flimsy computer paper bounded together by three industrial size clips. The pages of both copies were dog-eared, flipped through, bookmarked, and so on. One of them even had one of Maggie's page markers in it; my mother had gotten her a set of them for Christmas one year. One of the books was obviously hers.

I looked up at Tuck. His eyes were wide and his hair was a mess and his lips were parted. I imagined I looked nearly the same.

"How the hell did she get her hands on a copy?"

"You think I know? I tripped over her purse and everything fell out and there it was! Axel, she read everything! I didn't see it before, but look! Her bookmark is at the end of the fucking book! SHE READ EVERYTHING! She read my last chapter! MY LAST CHAPTER!"

My brows furrowed slightly. "What's the deal with your last chapter?"

Tucker looked at me, his eyebrows narrowing. He was perplexed. "What do you mean, what's the deal with it? You read it yourself."

I reddened a little bit. "Uh, well, I kinda stopped reading after that chapter about Ryan's doorman. You know, the chapter where you conveniently left out how you stuck your dick half-way inside of me?"

A blush appeared on Tuck's face, but it faded quickly. "Wait. You mean, you didn't read anything after that?"
I scratched the back of my neck. "Yeah, well, I didn't think I needed to! I figured you not talking about our sexy time sealed the deal. Quite frankly, I didn't want to read any more of your bullshit."

Tucker groaned, then grabbed a copy of the book out of my hands. "You're such a fucking pain in my ass," he mumbled, flipping through the last few pages of the book. He stopped on the last one, then shoved the book in my face. "Read this, then tell me we don't have a serious problem."

The last page was titled Love, and it was written by Tuck. It was only a sentence or two. I looked at it more closely.

Love—Tucker

For Axel's birthday, I gave him my father's wedding ring. It felt so real, proposing to Maggie felt like something I saw in a movie.

I had finished reading the words, but I couldn't look up at him. I felt my cheeks heat up. My chest grew anxious. I took a deep breath, then shut the book. Tucker was looking at me expectantly.

"Yeah," I muttered. "We definitely have a problem."