We finished the movie and Derrick insisted we go to the burger shack to eat. During our drive to the burger shack my mind wandered to Noah. Should I have stayed? 

I try to shake these thoughts from my head. If he truly wanted me he wouldn't have ignored me for two weeks. I have to repeat that in my head every time my thoughts drift to him. I mean im on a date with Derrick for Pete's sake. 

Derrick has been a perfect gentlemen all night. He's held doors open for me, paid for me. He actually wanted to go out with me unlike some people. 

Stop.

You're on a date with Derrick.

Stop thinking about Noah. He doesn't deserve your thoughts. 

"Hey is everything ok?" Derricks voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

I realized I haven't said a single word all the way to the shack. 

I look over to him giving him a soft smile, "Yeah just lost in my own thoughts." I laugh at myself. 

He smiles opening his door, "Okay." 

I get out of the car and follow him to the burger shack. He holds the door open for me and the smell hits me. 

I haven't been here since mom died.

Coming here used to be a thing between the four of us, mom, dad, Brady and I. Eventually Noah too.

We'd come here every Friday night for dinner. My mom said 'It was a treat for surviving the week.'  

I still remember the last Friday we came. It was three days before she died. 

We walk into the diner. Noah and Brady are fighting about who gets to sit closest to the wall. I just stayed next to mom and dad as we walk to our booth. 

Brady makes it to the booth first so he sits closet to the wall with Noah next to him and me beside him. Mom and dad sit on the opposite side of us.

I watch as mom throws her golden blonde hair into a bun. The waiter comes to give us our menus but we all know what we are going to order.

We order our food and begin talking to one another. 

"So how was your day pumpkin?" my dad asks and I turn to face him.

"It was so good, me and Delilah got an A+ on our science project and then-"

"LAME." Brady and Noah call out in unison interrupting me. 

I glare at the both of them my bangs falling into my face. 

"Boys be nice while your sister is talking." my dad says and I stick my tongue out to them. 

Brady rolls his eyes while Noah sticks his tongue out at me and I laugh. 

The rest of dinner goes by as normal. We eat, Brady and Noah make fun of me. I punch them in the arm. Good times. 

Once dinner was done we head back towards the car. Brady and Noah race to the car and dad is right behind them. I stay to walk with mom. I noticed she really didn't say much tonight. 

"Mom are you ok?" I ask peering up at her. 

She gives me a warm smile, "Yeah sweetie I'm ok." 

She wasn't ok.

Derrick clears his throat and I realize I am still standing in the door way.

"Sorry." I mutter and step in. 

We sit down and the waiter hands us our menus.

"Oh I don't need one I'll just have a bacon cheese burger, extra bacon." The waiter who's name tag reads, "Laura." nods her head. 

We wait a few moments as Derrick scans the menu, "I'll have a plain burger no cheese."

Le gasp. No cheese? Thats one dry ass burger. 

The girls hums before taking our menus and heading off. 

"So why'd you freak when you came in?" he asked and I gulp.

Shifting in my seat I take a look around, almost five years and nothings changed. "Uh I used to come here with my family before my mom died."

"Shit" he says shaking his head, "I didn't know your mom died, im sorry." he looks at me with pity eyes. 

I hate pity. I know people mean well, but it's just an awful thing to be pitied. 

I give him a small smile, "It's ok. I mean its not ok, but you know-" I drift off. 

He nods his head.

We sit in an awkward silence before our food arrives. 

I take a bite of my burger, I forgot how good these were. It's funny Noah and I always got the same exact order. 

A bacon cheese burger extra bacon, a side of tater tots and a root beer float. Usually I couldn't finish all of my root beer and I'd get upset because I was wasting something dad paid for, so Noah started to not get one and he'd just finish mine.

Derrick and I talk more. I learned he's actually lactose intolerant which is why he doesn't eat cheese. I also learned that, his goal after school is to go to college for football. Just like my brother and Noah. 

We finished our food. I looked at my half drunken float and sigh. At least dad didn't pay for this but Derrick did. I get into his car and we head back to my house. He walks me to the door. 

"I had a good time tonight." he says leaning forwards and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

I smile, "I did too." 

He leans down and kisses my cheek, "See you at school tomorrow?"

I nod my head and he gets back into his car and leaves. I walk into my house to see all the lights are off. Going into the kitchen to grab a glass of water I see a note from dad on the counter.

Leaving tomorrow for a quick haul in another town

went to bed early, and will be back before the game tomorrow

hope you had fun on your little date

-dad

I smile at the note. Putting the glass in the sink I head upstairs. I can hear Noah and Brady playing some kind of video game as I pass by their door. 

Getting into my room I head to the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes before getting into the shower. I let the hot water run down my body. A tear slips from my eye as I think about mom. In three weeks it'll be five years since she died. 

Five years since she left us. 

Me.

Once the water runs cold I step out and wrap my self in a towel. I look in the mirror and my eyes are all red and puffy. I didn't realize I let more than one tear fall. I put on a fresh pair of underwear before throwing on an old t-shirt and a pair of gray cotton shorts. 

I exit my bathroom to see Noah sitting on my bed. I walk towards him. 

"Noah what are you doing here?" he sighs and looks up at me.

He pats the side of the bed, "Can we talk?" I nod my head before sitting down next to him . He turns his body so he's facing me. 

"I'm sorry for the past few weeks, there's just been a lot of stuff happening at home and after your brother interrupted us I thought I should keep my distance." I nod my head in understanding.

I get it. I hate it but I get it. My brother would kill us if he found out. I should've stopped things before they got that far, it just....

I turn to face in front of me. 

"He took me to the Burger Shack." I mumble looking at the wall as it suddenly becomes interesting. Wow who knew there was a chip in the paint. 

"Shit Bails what'd you do?" I can hear his worry in his voice.

I turn back to face him, "I sucked it up, sat down and ordered. I still can't finish a rootbeer float by myself." Noah and I both laugh. 

"Derrick didn't finish it for you?" I shake my head. 

"He's lactose intolerant." Noah snorts. 

I begin to laugh, "I know and when he ordered a plain burger no cheese I almost laughed. It was just two buns and a burger patty. How is that good?"

"That's dry as fuck." Noah says through his laughter. 

"That literally what I thought." And we both continue laughing. 

Our laughter dies down and we sit there in silence. 

"So are you going to go out with him again?" I take in a deep breath.

I look down at my hands, "Yeah I think so." 

Looking up I see Noah's jaw clench. I place my hand over his. His body tenses and he pulls his hand away.

I study Noah's face. He looks hurt? 

"Whats wrong?"

He laughs but there's no humor, "I got to go." he goes to stand up but I grip onto his arm. 

Less than five hours ago roles were reversed. 

"Noah wait." he pulls his arm out of my grasp. "No." He whispers.

He looks at me with defeated eyes, "You made your decision, now I am making mine. See you around Bailey" and with that he leaves my room. 

Why does it feel like he's leaving my life too?

_________

A/N I just finished rereading Crooked Kingdom and chapter 40😢

Also for those freaking out I am lactose intolerant too. My friends and I joke about it all the time especially when we are out and I forget my lactaid pills and have to decide whether to tempt fate or not. 

____

Edited