CHAPTER FIFTEEN: in another world

The flickering TV was a blur of colours, shapes and mumbling static. Dorian felt his exhaustion creeping up on him, finally catching up and tugging him into sleep. Corey was already half way to unconsciousness, his head resting heavily on Dorian's shoulder.

They had been curled up on the sofa all afternoon, pretending the world didn't exist beyond their bubble of oblivion. Leah had left a few hours ago and all they had done was switch the channel and started watching cartoons. Dorian had thankfully gotten Corey to eat something, putting his nerves to rest.

The only reason Dorian was delaying going to bed was because he enjoyed the feeling of Corey sleeping on him far more than he should have done. They were alone, something that didn't happen very often. Secluded, cut off, trapped in their own little world. A world where they could cuddle on the sofa wordlessly, where Corey could rest his cheek on Dorian's shoulder and neither would consider it weird. Dorian liked this world more than the real one. More than the brutal reality of judgement and heartache and constant disappointment.

Corey mumbled something incoherent, making the other boy smile to himself in fond amusement. Finally, Corey cracked open his tired eyes and yawned, pulling himself away from Dorian's warm body. Both boys immediately missed the heat, but neither could complain nor say a word about it. "Wanna head to bed?" Dorian offered, pausing the TV.

Corey rubbed his eyes and nodded, humming in acknowledgement and agreement.

"You want my bed? I can sleep on the sofa."

Corey finally looked up at Dorian properly, and his expression was clouded with guilt. "No, let me sleep here. You need a proper night's sleep."

Dorian laughed, "So do you. Plus, you're the guest. Just take it, Corey. Honestly, I'm fine."

"No." He refused stubbornly.

"Core—"

"No."

Dorian rolled his eyes, "Fine; you take my bed and I'll take my Mum's. Okay?"

Corey hesitated, his lip caught between his teeth in contemplation. Dorian didn't care where he slept, all he needed to do was get Corey out of his sight. A second longer and he wouldn't be able to control himself. Drunk on tiredness, he wasn't himself. He was close to making a mistake, doing something he would regret. Right now, all he wanted to do was kiss those soft lips and make Corey moan. And that was probably the only thing he couldn't do.

They headed upstairs together and Dorian gave Corey a spare toothbrush he hadn't taken out of the packet yet. "Let me find you something to wear." Dorian placed a hand on Corey's shoulder and led him into his bedroom.

He still wasn't used to the limited amount of contact he needed to use when around Corey. Dorian had always been an affectionate person, he was always touching people, hugging them, grabbing their hand to show them something. But he had to be careful around Corey, he didn't want to freak him out like the first time he'd tried grabbing his wrist.

"Sorry about the mess." He apologised as they entered his bedroom. "I didn't really have any time to clean."

"That's okay." Corey said softly.

Dorian scanned the interior of his wardrobe, realising that none of his clothes would ever fit the petite boy stood beside him. He ended up just lending him an oversized T-shirt which may as well have been a dress on him, and a spare pair of pants. "Is that alright?" He asked nervously, feeling bad that he didn't have anything smaller.

"That's fine." Corey accepted gratefully.

"Okay, so you know where the bathroom is and I'll be just down the hall if you need anything." Dorian smiled warmly. "So, uh...goodnight."

Corey grabbed the back of Dorian's shirt before he could leave, forcing him to turn around. "Thank you." He whispered. "For...y'know...everything." He added. His words were pumped with such emotion, Corey was almost unrecognisable.

Dorian smiled sweetly and Corey almost returned it. Almost.

"That's okay." He said simply. "Sleep well, we've got that English presentation first period tomorrow." He reminded.

"Yeah." Corey murmured as Dorian left, shutting the door gently behind him.

As Dorian lay awake that night, his mind drifted to his Mother. He was in her bed, curled up in her sheets. They smelled like cigarettes and dust. He would visit her after school tomorrow and check that she was doing okay.

And in the meantime, he occupied his mind with the same boy he hadn't been able to stop thinking about. He wasn't sure where his fixation on Corey had started, but it was only growing. He wished the world wasn't so complicated, filled with social rules and moral order. He wished he could just tell Corey he liked him and be free to pursue him as he wished, without fear of rejection or judgement. He wished it was that easy.

Whatever happened, he knew he needed to relieve some of the tension in his body somehow. He hadn't had sex in a good month or two and his body was starting to suffer. He'd progressed from looking at Corey as someone he wanted to be with to someone he wanted to shag. He used to see his lips as soft and kissable and now all he could imagine was them wrapped around his—

Stop it, Dorian, he thought to himself agitatedly. It wasn't that he only saw Corey as something to fuck, not even close. But now he was focusing on that aspect of things a bit too hard. Speaking of hard—

Shit.

He groaned internally and twisted over, trying to ignore the problem between his legs. He tossed and turned and tried to imagine his grandma's face as much as he could. But it was no use, his thoughts returned to Corey every time and it only made matters worse.

The thought of Corey's hands on his body, his lips on his neck, his teeth grazing his skin. Pants and moans and desperate begs. Heavy breathing and twisted sheets. Moaning each other's names and squirming for release.

Before he knew it, his hand was between his thighs, rubbing himself over the fabric of his boxers, his eyes clamped shut as he imagined the smaller boy sharing the bed with him. "Fuck." He cursed under his breath, slipping his hand below the waistband of his underwear. He threw his head back against the pillow at the skin-to-skin contact and increased his pace.

It didn't take him long to finish. It had been a while, after all. He lay there, dazed and breathless, his cheeks red with embarrassment.

He really needed to have sex, preferably soon.

Maybe that would finally wash Corey out of his system.

The next morning was torture for Dorian. Corey appeared in the kitchen wearing Dorian's baggy shirt and a pair of boxers. His hair was messy and his eyes laced with exhaustion. The bruises had only faded slightly and with Corey's arms out on full display, Dorian could see the true extent of the damage for the first time. He bit his lip and didn't comment on it, as much as he wished he could. Corey wouldn't want that; it would only make him uncomfortable.

They ate breakfast, got ready and headed to school. Dorian had leant Corey one of his jumpers which practically drowned the poor kid. He would never admit it, but he loved Corey wearing his clothes. It set off an instinctual reaction within him; he felt like he was claiming him, marking him as his own. It went against everything Dorian stood for. He hated the idea of 'owning' someone, but somewhere deep within his nature, he loved it.

Once Dorian had parked his bike at school, they parted ways, "See you in English." Corey waved and headed towards the front entrance.

He stopped in his tracks when he spotted Velvet waiting for him by his locker, just like she did every other morning. But today, she was joined by someone else. Ty was tucking a stray curl behind her ear as Velvet laughed at something he had said, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek. When her eyes met Corey's, she immediately sobered and shoved him off, running forward to wrap him in a bone crushing hug. "Oh my god, hun, are you okay? Fuck, you're face—"

"I'm okay." Corey brushed her away, "Dorian...I had Dorian." He told her awkwardly.

"You can come to mine tonight, okay? Stay with me as long as you need to." She gushed as Ty stood behind her uncomfortably, scratching the back of his neck, unsure what to do with his hands.

"It's okay, I'm staying with Dorian for a few nights until his Mum gets back."

"With Dorian?" She frowned, struggling to keep the hurt off her face. Corey could tell she was offended by his rejection. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He said certainly. "I'm okay, Velvet. Really."

Maybe that was a lie, but for the first time in god knows how long, he really felt like he was going to be okay. He was getting there. Slowly but surely he was getting to a place where he really would be okay.