^^^^^^ play when you get to nialls POV

TW/ DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

Cold water is all I can feel as my brain switches on. I slowly open my eyes and notice the bright light, I'm in my bathroom.

How did I end up in my bathroom, I notice Niall pacing around my bathroom talking to someone on the phone, what happened?

"Oh good you're awake, no he's just woken up, yeah I'll call you in a bit." he hangs up and pockets his phone.

"Who was that?" my voice is croaky, my head is pounding, jesus why do I always do this.

"Nevermind, you need to sort your shit out mate, you've been out cold for four hours, I nearly called an ambulance." I was out for that long, holy shit, I rubbed the back of my neck, I sat in my boxers on my shower floor.

"Tell me who was on the phone." I try and stand but my whole entire body aches, so all I manage to do is turn off the tap to stop the water.

"It was Luna, I called her to see if she knew what the pills were." fuck!, she had no idea I kept ecstasy in my house, now she is going to hate me.

"Why the fuck would you call her, what made you think that she needed to know about this." saying that takes it out of me, my body feels numb yet aches at the same time.

"What was I supposed to do Harry, call an ambulance and then have them and the police show up, you were drunk and high. A fucking blubbering mess." ph god, what did I say before I passed out.

"I slipped up, I was sad and angry, can't you blame a man for wanting to forget." my stomach flips and I move quickly over to the toilet, emptying my stomach into the toilet.

The harsh movements of my body and the forcefulness of my sickness, makes me feel dizzy. I lean against the toilet bowl.

Niall walks back into the bathroom with a glass of water and two pills, I assume are pain killers. I wish they were ecstasy, I just want to be high and forget about everything.

"Take these and drink this, you've also got four missed calls from Jack, so you need to answer him before he sends people here Harry."

"You don't need to fucking shout." I stand, my knees nearly buckle as I try to walk to my room.

I strip and put on some clean and dry boxers, Niall looks away as if he hasn't sucked my dick at one point.

"No need to be a prude, you've seen me naked a million times." he shoots me an evil glare.

"Fuck off, that was years ago." he still suprsses the fact that we fucked.

"We fucked and fooled around, why do you act as if it never happened, you know what this is the last thing I want to think about." My head hurts too much to deal with his secret ass.

"I don't act as if it never happened, I just don't need to reminisce on shit that's not going to happen again." so we aren't going to drop this subject.

"Is that what you want then? For me to fuck you again?"

"No, for fuck sake Harry." touchy subject, if i wasn't in love with this woman I'd definitely fuck him again.

"Okay I get it, I was a good lay." I lay down in bed, he chucks a pair of jeans and laughs at me, I'm glad we lightened the mood a little.

"You're so up your own arse it's unbelievable."

"You just want me up yours again." he shakes his head and starts to clean the mess around me.

"What are you going to do Harry?" Now that;s a loaded question.

"I have no idea, I need to get out Niall, I have to do it for her." he sits at the edge of the bed.

"I'll help you, we need to make a plan, but first I'm going to talk to Luna soon and get her opinion on everything." I grunt at this revelation

"Why?, just give her space if we go and see her she's going to feel bombarded." he scowls at me, "what?"

"I never said us, I said me, Harry you're not coming."is he joking?

"Why?"

"Look at the state of you, also she just found out you're a literal murderer let me talk to her it might help your case." whatever.

"Fine, go and see her, see if I care." I turn over and place the covers over my head, wanting to sleep off this come down.

"Jealousy isn't a good look on you, so get some sleep and I'll be back later, I'll bring food." I just grunt at him, I can hear him closing my bedroom door as he walks out.

Praying that he doesn't fuck her up even more, I've broken her enough he doesn't need to go and hurt her.

As much as I appreciate Niall for what he does and what he's doing, she's the love of my life and I can't see her sad.

With a shaky breath, I drive to Zayn's place, having no idea who these people are but I know I need to talk to Luna.

When I called her and told her about Harry's night, she seemed panicked and offered to drive over and talk to him. I couldbt let her do that. Harry would have hated me if she saw him like that.

I just needed to understand what he was on, I've only see him that high and out of it once and it ended with us fucking, both of us high and drunk.

She had no idea he kept drugs in the house, she said she felt sick at the revelation, which made me feel bad but I had to do what I needed to do.

Pulling up to Zayn's house, feeling a little nervous as I'm guessing she knows I was part of this gang that Harry's in, unless he never mentioned me but then again she isnt exactly dumb so she probably understands what I did.

I get out of my car, locking out and then walking up to his front door. I know she needs space from Harry, I'm not here to get them back together I just need her to understand that he's not a bad person.

I knock and wait for someone to open up, a brunette man opens the door, very tattooed and not very tall, I've not met him or heard of him I don't think anyway.

"Hi, I'm Niall here to talk to Luna."

"Ahh yes, I'm Louis, come in." we make meaningless conversation, as we walk into his house. I spot Luna and Zayn on the sofa, she looks defeated.

Zayn whispers something to her and then walks off with Louis, I'm guessing they all know.

"How's Harry, did you leave him alone? What if he takes more pills?" she seems panicked.

"He's old enough to look after himself, if he takes more pills then thats up to him i'm not his fucking mother." I could be less aggressive, but I don't want to babysit him.

"What do you want then?" she's pissed.

"I came to talk to you about Harry." I take a seat at the dining room table.

"What about him, there's nothing you can say that will surprise me now."

"I'm not here to tell you anything new, I just want you to know that Harry is not a bad guy, he just had a rough start to life."

"okay....I get that but it doesn't take away from the fact that he literally tortures people and then kills them, like tell me how you can justify that?" She does have a very good point, but Harry never got a choice.

"He never wanted this, when I met him he was a hard core druggie, he never wanted to do this but he was living on the streets when Jack met him, he had no choice Luna." she looks stunned.

"What do you mean he had no choice? You got out, so why couldn't he?"

"It was easier for me, I worked under Harry so I wasn't that important. Jack could lose me and it wouldn't matter. You don't understand how deep in Harry is, he has no way out, he also doesn't see a way out, the only way out for him is death." She needs to understand the depth of Arcane.

"No there has to be a way out, he doesnt need to be involved, Niall there has to be a fucking way out, what if I talk to Jack, I mean he is my uncle after all." fuck!

"No, don't you dare go to Jack, if he even gets a whiff that Harry wants out they will kill him Luna, do you understand."

I pace around this small kitchen, she can't go to Jack. What have I done? Was coming here a bad idea?

"Niall, he needs out."

"I fucking know, I've been trying for yours to get him to understand that he needs out, why can't you fucking listen." I turn then all of a sudden a glass gets thrown against the wall near my head, I duck and turn to face her.

"Are you fucking sane, what if that hit me?"

"Don;t you fucking dare come in here and start having a go at me purley for the fact that you can't get Harry out, did you even fucking try Niall, because to me all you did was fuck off with your girlfriend and send Harry into a fucking death sentance."

My blood is boiling, she clearly doesn't know about the relationship I had with Harry. She doesn't get it.

"I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM '' I shouted in her face, she got under my skin, blaming me for Harry not getting out.

"Wh..at?"

"You heard me, I loved him okay."

"Niall" I can hear the sympathy from her voice, I don't need her sympathy.

"What, are you happy now? You got me."

"No I'm not happy, I had no idea that you loved him, I knew he was very fond of you but we never discussed it further." fond of me, is that what he told her.

She sits back down, resting her head on her hands.

"Does he know." is all she says, not looking up at me.

"Nope." I take a seat opposite her.

"Why?"

"I couldn't bring myself to ever tell him, he never saw me in that way. We just used to sleep together and that was it, I was never meant to develop feelings, then Courtney came along and he stopped what we did, becoming consumed by her." I sound pathetic right now, why am I even telling her this, I've never told anyone this.

"He should know"

"No, I'm not going to tell him, what good would it do?I'm with Alicia now, it won't do anything."

"You've been in love with him for how long, Niall?"

"Too long" I hate to admit it, but a part of me still loves him and always will.

She grabs my hand, stroking my knuckles with her skin, she can see the redness in my eyes, I'm trying my hardest not to cry.

"I love him too, I love him so much that it hurts Niall." she starts to slowly cry, the tears fall from my face too. I never meant to come here and tell her about my feelings for Harry, I just wanted her to realise that he is a good man.

"Go back to him Luna, he needs you." I shouldn't push this on her, but he needs her.

"I can't, I need time away from him to just process this all."

"Okay, but just please go back to him eventually, I don't think he'll last without you." I notice her swallow, she's nervous.

"Don't put that on me Niall, that's not fair."

"No, what's not fair is Harry is stuck in this fucked up cycle, he deserves to be happy as well, I'll stay with him until you realise what's important here."

"Fuck you, my mental health is just as important as Harrys happiness, I get what youe doing for him but my whole life from my family to Harry has just flipped upside down, so I'm not sorry for needing time." I didn't mean to offend her, it's just that Harry means a lot to me.

"Get the fuck out."

"What?"

"Get the fuck out of here Niall, go back to Harry or fuck off for all I care, just leave." I put my hands up and stand.

"Fine I'll leave but Harrys a mess, high and drunk so think about that." I know I'm guilt tripping her into this, but he needs her otherwise he'll end up killing himself before Jack can.

"GET THE FUCK OUT" she starts to push at my body with full force, she's strong. She's screaming at me as she pushes me.

"Luna what the fuck." Zayn comes flying in, grabbing her by the waist and picking her up as she cries and screams at me, god she is broken.

"Zayn put me the fuck down."

"Luna baby calm down." baby? What the fuck.

"Mate, I think you should leave." Louis comes in, placing a hand on my arm, escorting me out of his house.

"Why did he call her baby? Is she fucking him?" He gives me a puzzled look.

"No he's fucking me, Luna is his best friend, and if it wasnt for him Luna would still be attakcing you, so do us all a favour and sort your shit out and Harrys and leave her alone." he pushes me out the door and before I can say anything he's slamming the door in my face.

Now I've managed to piss them all off, Harry should be pleased when he finds out.

This is a fucked situation, I'm just hoping she can get to Harry before he puts himself in an early grave, I don't have the power over him like she does.

Getting into my car and realising what I've done, I drive back to Harrys and hope he's still asleep. I don't feel like going back and seeing Harry in a state. It hurts me to see him throw his life away because of drugs and alcohol.