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Luna Harding, she is the bane of my existence.

Why wouldn't she tell me about Chris, why is it some big secret, he's her ex boyfriend. Zayn did mention him when he pulled me aside at the dinner party last week. He asked if I was serious about her.

How do I explain to him what me and her are doing? I Understand he has heard about our sexual encounters, I'm not that bothered that she told him, they are best friends after all so it's to be expected.

I just explained to him that we are having fun, I don't want what I want from her really, it's confusing to me. I enjoy being around her. We seem to argue a lot. However half of that is my fault, I'm a blunt prick.

I'm not the biggest conversationalist on the planet, she just grinds my gears in a different way, a way that woman hasn't done before. I also have other aspects of my life that just don't fit into place when it comes to her.

I have thought several times of telling her, she might be able to handle it, I don't think she will. She likes to question my every move. She must have so much shit going on in her head, the shit she's heard about me.

I need to shake these thoughts from my head, I have a meeting with Crowley today. Fuck knows what it's about he requested too see me straight away, which is never a good sign. I make a quick call to Liam to tell him I have other shit that needs my attention today.

He never asks questions, I think he enjoys running the bar without me. I'm just the man with the money. It's okay with me as it allows me to focus on arcane.

The days I went away, where for arcane as well, I hate travelling for work it infuriates me as I know people question why I go away for days at a time. The worst part about it was I couldn't take goose.

I'm usually allowed to take my dog as security, but not this time which is why I had to leave him with Luna. She keeps making sly comments about that weekend, using it as leverage almost, I have been so tempted to just tell her.

Then to top it all of my fucking mother turned up at my house, I had no idea she was coming over she never does. Then Luna turned up and then shit hit the fan.

Maggie, she had to turn up that day of all fucking days, she wanted the usual, money. I just wrote her a check and told her to fuck off.

Then the fucking unexpected happened, the way Luna felt against me, fuck the thought of her wet cunt against my thigh is enough to turn me on.

Sitting here with a raging hard on before I have to go out, is not ideal. Knowing I can't do anything about it, I need to stop thinking about her, I have no idea if she even wants to see me again after the way I acted last night.

Rearranging my dick in trousers, I need to get my shit together. Pushing her to the back of my mind. I grab my dog and head out to my car. I can finally take Goose to work with me now.

"Come on boy, we got work to do." I pat my outer thigh in order for him to come to me, I don't bother getting his leash he always stays close to me when we go out.

As we both get into the car, he sits in the passenger seat as I hop in the drivers, driving out of my driveway with the radio on at quite a high volume. I'm not too stressed over the one to one meeting I have today. 

Driving into London today, he wants me at his office and not the warehouse which is odd to me but it's not as if I get a say when it comes to where these meetings are held, I'd rather not attend them at all.

The chain by Fleetwood man comes on the radio, reminds me of a better time when I actually had something to live for, this is not the time to think back to the past, that's over with.

As I'm sitting in traffic, tapping my finger on the wheel to the beat. I fucking hate london traffic, people are honking their horns and shouting out their car windows. Not sure what that would accomplish.

Finally we start to move slowly, but we are still moving thank god. I finally got out of this long queue of traffic and made it onto a quieter street.

Pulling into the car park, reversing my car into one of the spaces. Turning off the ignition. I hate these fucking meetings with a passion. I do however get out of the car and Goose follows out of my side as well.

Walking into the block of offices, not bothering talking to this receptionist he knows I'm coming so I don't bother with the formalities of these types of things. She tries to stop me walking past but I get there just before she can say anything.

Knocking on Crowley's office door, "Come in styles." I can hear him shout me from the inside as I knock on his door.

Let's do this I guess.

Walking into his office, he's alone today. He usually has his squad of security around him, those men hate me with a passion. They have the right to, I hate me in general so it makes sense that others do as well.

"Sit!" he's pissed, what did I do wrong now. I need to hold in a laugh as Goose also sits on that command, having to bite my bottom lip. I take a seat in the chairs opposite him.

"What's the issue?" I could probably drop the attitude.

"You've fucked up." Does he always have to take long pauses when it comes to being serious.

"Which is?" Laid back in this chair, waiting for him to give me a fucking bollocking.

"Those days you went away, you left two people alive. Now why the fuck would you do that?" They didn't need to die, I don't kill women or kids.

"For one, I only kill the people in the fucking file, not anyone else. That's my fucking job now if you wanted me to kill a lot more fucking people then you should've specified I'm not a fucking mind reader." I'm pushing my luck here with the language I'm using.

"Cut the shit styles, less of the fucking attitude or I'll have you and your fucking mutt killed next." Empty threats, I'm his best worker.

"My job title is to torture and or kill people in the files, his family wasn't in his file." I am literally stating what he already knows.

"I don't give a shit about your fucking job title, what if someone saw you, you could of really fucked things up for us." yeah yeah, can I fucking leave.

"Well I won't be killing innocent women and children." I have nothing to say to him, the job I was sent away fro was fucking dreadful, how I didn't get killed was surprising.

"What's turned you into a giant pussy, don't tell me you've got a fucking girlfriend. She turned you soft?" He thinks I've gone soft because I wouldn't kill a woman and her child, is this bloke alright?

"No, also if I did have a woman it'd be none of your fucking business." We don't have to disclose anything in this type of work.

"It is my business if it's going to interfere with what you do here, don't think your so fucking special, I own you." Jesus fucking Christ this man is dramatic.

"Is that all?" I am fed up with talking about my personal life, it's not what I came here for.

"For now, you're on thin ice now Harry." My real name and not styles this time, shocking revelation.

I nod and walk out the door, patting my thigh again to make sure Goose knows to follow. Walking out of the office, his little followers walk past me and give me blatant death stares, how fucking scare.

Hopping into my car, sitting here really fucking debating my whole part of this fucking gang, what is it turning into. This is not what it was like when I was 21, I want out but there is no way out.

Thinking about the one lad who got out, we were not deeply infused with this gang then, I should've got out then, started fresh. Me being stupid didn't listen and was too fucking stubborn to leave, I had no point to, he was starting a life.

What on earth am I going to do?

Rubbing my face over the thought of getting out, what If I got to start a life, a real one . the wife and kids type of life. Is that even for me. I didn't even have a real father of my own, so what good am I for creating more life.

Look at the fucking job I do, I'm not fit for a wife or a family. I don't even know why I'm thinking about it, I don't even have a potential girlfriend, I've got a Luna and fuck knows what me and her are doing.

As I'm sitting here thinking about my fucking life, my phone vibrates. What the fuck is this now, I cannot be dealing with anymore bullshit today. Grabbing my phone from the centre console. It's Luna, we haven't spoken or seen each other since she stormed out of mine ten days ago.

I don't know what to say to her, she won't tell me anything about her life, I can't say I don't blame her, I'm not the most open person on the planet.

Cherry: I'm outside yours, we need to talk.

She's at my house, what the fuck.

Me: Okay...I won't be long

Luckily I'm not far from mine considering I didn't have to travel out of London for this meeting. Why did she just turn up, we don't speak for days and then she just randomly turns up. If she wants an argument then she's coming to the right place.

I am way to stressed to be dealing with people and their fucking feelings today, I'm on edge because now Crowley's going to be up my arse about my personal life, he'll probably have me watched so I need to keep Luna safe.

The roads are clear for the drive home, so I'm pulling up to my driveway. I can see Luna sitting in her car scrolling on her phone. She hasn't seen me yet, I let Goose out and he runs straight to her car.

He is obsessed with her, I've never seen him this way with another human before let alone a woman. He usually hates women, for example my mother, Goose hates her which is good for me, just means she can never step foot in my house.

She gets out of her car, she is still so fucking sexy. Even when she is wearing baggy trousers and a loose fitted jumper. She does look pissed, but her face lights up when goose runs up to her, she crouches down to his level to give him a fuss.

I lean against her car, "So talk." I could be less rude but she turned up unannounced, so I feel like the attitude is needed.

"Do we have to talk in your driveway?" She glares up at me from the floor, this is a fucking dangerous way to look at me right now.

I'm use to using sex as a way to curve my anger, I've not had sex since the first date with Luna. I've been sexual a handful of times with this woman, I dream about what it feels like to be inside her. Stop having these thoughts as she's right in front of you.

"I guess not." I shrug and walk to my front door and walk into my house, Goose is now following Luna instead of me. Of course he is.

I put my keys and wallet onto my side table and walked into my kitchen, Sitting at my island, with a bottle of water, waiting for her to take a seat and start talking.

"Do you always have to do things in complete silence, it's fucking weird." What dies she want me to fucking do.

"What do you expect me to do start barking, I'm usually alone and I like the silence so fucking sue me."  I roll my eyes as she takes a seat opposite me on the island.

She's nervous, she's picking at the loose fray on her jumper. Is she intimidated by me or something, what if she's scared, wait what if she is terrified of me. Why am I so insecure right now?

"Do I scare you?" I need to know now.

"What?.. No of course I'm not scared of you, should I be?" Now there's a fucking question.

"Depending on who you ask love, I don't think I've pleased many people." Do I want her to be scared of me, it might be easier for me if she doesn't want to be near me.

"Harry what do you care about pleasing people?" that also depends on the type of pleasing we are talking about.

"I like to please you, I've not heard a complaint from you." She bites her bottom lip, it got a reaction from her.

"You wanted to talk, so what's up?" I shouldn't have made the comment about pleasing her, now all I can picture is her underneath me.

"Right that." She's turned on, her cheeks are that light pink shade when she gets riled up.

"Yes Luna." I sit back and cross my arms over my chest. She gets up and starts to pace around my kitchen, why is she so nervous.

"So, Chris" Is she actually going to tell me about him. ]

"Chris, the elusive Chris." Why is she dawdling over this? "For the love of god stop pacing."

"Sorry, I pace when I'm nervous. Anyway, he's my ex, and the whole theory about me being spiked is just that a theory, Z thought it was him because that's who I was meant to be with all night, but there is no solid proof. "she takes a deep breath, do I talk or is she going to continue.

Fuck it!

"Why was he even a suspect, what made Zayn assume it was him?" This is not adding up.

"I don't know."

"Yes you do." She knows something.

"No Harry I don't." She's angry.

"What are you hiding." She rolls her head back and rubs her eyes.

"Fine, fuck. I don't know what happened that night, one minute I was dancing with my boyfriend the next I was asleep under a tree with one shoe and no fucking underwear, nobody knows the depths of it, not even Z. is that what you fucking wanted from me." Wait, no underwear, who the fuck would do this?

I just sat here really taking in what she said, so she didn't want to talk about it. To be expected but I wasn't expecting that type of outburst from her.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" she leans against the kitchen island.

"Who was going to believe a 20 year old, I was drunk they'd just blame me, I also have no fucking clue what happened, what would I even say" She is being surprisingly honest right now.

"You could start with you being spiked, then take it from there." Why do I care so much?

"It's not that easy Harry, and it's four years way to fucking late now." she rubs her hand over her forehead, I should stop asking these questions, I just can't bring myself to stop.

"Are you going to say anything else?" What does she want me to say?

"I don't know what to say." for the first time in my life I am left fucking speechless, how do I talk to her about this.

"Well that's my que to leave." she walks past me, I grab her arm to stop her. I don't want her to leave. She yanks her arm from my grip, shit I forgot.

I hold my hands up, "sorry, don't go" I sound so fucking pathetic basically begging her to stay here.

"I've just never had someone talk about this before, I'm sorry for questioning you so much. I'll stop, just please don't go." Here I go again acting pathetic and begging her to stay.

I didn't mean to offend her or say something that upsets her but I do like her being in my house, I love the silence but I hate the silence when I'm with her.

"Why should I stay?, give me a valid reason and I'll think about it." She crosses her arms as she stands there, all of a sudden my dog comes and stands right next to her, as if to say I should tell her why I want her here.

"I like your company alright, I don't want you to go." Fuck sake Harry, keep it together, maybe Crowley was right pussy has made me weak and soft.

She squeezes her lips together to hide her smile, maybe she liked what I said. Nice job, if I can keep it together for the night then maybe I can keep her around, who am I kidding she'll never want me.

"My company and not my pussy?" I basically choke on my own spit at that statement.

"Why can't a man enjoy both." I flash her my smile, knowing what it does to her.

"You got me, I'll stay, but I want to know what your mum wanted the other day?" fuck.

"Nothing, she just comes to harass me, the usual." Please fucking believe me.

I don't have it in me to tell her what my mum wants, she'll find me weak, probably want to leave right now, what man can't say no to his mum.

"No, you apologised for her. I can take the beat down from mothers, what did she want?" Glaring at me now, she isn't going to let this go.

"Money, the fucking usual from my mother if you can even call it that, now drop it" I take off my suit jacket, talking about my mother makes my blood boil, just the mention of her makes the hate I have for her grow.

"Why?" fine ignore my plea to drop it.

"Luna please." I stand up from my seat and walk into my living room. I cannot be talking about my mother right now.

"Why, what's the big secret? She's just your mum." just my mum, she's a grade A cunt, I do not class her as a fucking mother.

"Seriously drop it, I don't want to talk about it." She is grinding my fucking gears right now.

"I'll drop it for now, but not forever." Thank god, I know she'll wanna know eventually but not right now.

"Thank you." I have a banging headache now.

"Now are you going to order for me or cook?" making demands, I guess I did ask her to stay.

"Luna order your own fucking food, my cards in my wallet." I need to grab some tablets, I could use something stronger.

"Less of the attitude Harold, don't forget I'm the one with the pussy here." How I could make a comment about finding it elsewhere but I do not need that argument.

"Hmm, threatening me now, I know how to rile you up Luna, I know what makes you tick." I walk up to her, lower my face down to hers.

"I know what makes you wet Luna, I bet you're wet right now." She licks her lips, fuck she is fucking sexy right now, in front of me.

"You're wrong, now where's your wallet." she's not going to give into me, I can tell. She's stubborn like me.

She grabs my wallet off the side, walking off. I don't care what she orders, I'll eat anything. I'd rather have her but I know that's off the cards tonight.

I walk back into the living room and she's sitting there, tv on and Goose has laid his head on her lap, she took her jumper off and she has on a black vest, she isn't wearing a bra, this woman is going to kill me.

"Make yourself at home why don't you." She clocks me standing here, eyeing me up and down. I feel like an object, but I won't moan about it.

"Come sit, I'm watching the fast five, pizza's on the way." A good movie, and good food. Don't get used to this Harry, women are temporary.

I sit next to her, I don't know how to fucking sit with women. It is nice though, sitting here Tv on. I move my arm around her, she cuddles up into me, feeling awkward at first I just lean back and try not to focus too hard on the woman next to me.

Relaxing and watching the movie, knowing this short lived happiness will be over by tomorrow but for now I can relish in this little moment.

Once she finds out who I really am, she'll run so far and this bubble of happiness will be gone.

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