NINETEEN

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TW/sexist language toward the MC, violence, mention and use of drugs !!

I've decided to ask Harry to come with me today, I'm only seeing my mum but I feel as if he might be able to support me through this. I hope he doesn't find me weird for asking him to come and meet my mum.

It's not like something a boyfriend and girlfriend would do considering my mum is a grade A bitch, it's more of a Harry come and wait in the car whilst I go and get belittled by my mum.

I'm currently sitting outside of Harry's house waiting for my courage to finally come to me in order for me to go and ask him, I did ask Eden if Harry was at the bar today but she said he wasn't. So he is home which is god for me.

Finally getting out of my car and walking up to his front door, I knock on the door and I don't hear Goose bark, which is unusual as he always barks whenever the door knocks, there's something off about this.

I shoot him a quick text asking if he's around, usually he replies quickly but today nothing. I guess I'm braving my mum alone today. This could be for the best, I shouldn't have let Z get in my head about asking Harry to come.

I get back into my car and start heading towards my mums, she lives on the outskirts of London so about an hour away from where I currently am.

Plugging my phone into the aux, putting on one of my many playlists, The neighbourhood starts to play, really fits the mood for now, I sing along to Rip 2 my youth as it plays through my speakers.

"You can play this at my funeral.." Traffic isn't too bad today either, I do wish I had some company, if I knew harry wasn't going to be home I would've forced Z to come with me. Maybe this is a bad idea.

Debating whether or not to go through with this, I never told anyone I was going to see her today, I probably should have considered my dad could be there and he is the last person I want to see.

The last time I saw him was six months ago and he kept asking me when I was going to get back with Chris. I sort of explained the situation to him that me and Chris weren't compatible anymore, he claimed it was bullshit and all relationships go through these phases.

I wasn't quite sure what he meant, as I don't think cheating and bullying is what I call a phase, surely it is emotional abuse but each to their own, he was pissed at me for ending it. He thought Chris was my future and had a in with the family company.

I don't think Chris wanted to be a lawyer, he would always slate my family's company to me after we ever visited my parents. Looking back at that relationship I can see that he was never a fan of my family.

I don't blame people for hating my family, I can barely stand them. I just thought he would at least try to make me feel better over not having a normal family, he however liked to remind every chance he got.

I was so dumb and naïve to ever believed he truly loved me, but then again I never truly loved him in the way I thought I did, he was more company to me someone to be around whether it was good or bad.

I've still not seen him since I've had Goose, I still feel slightly worried that he is lurking in the background but I try not to think about it too much, I'm trying to focus on being happy and starting fresh.

I wish I could have a good thought where I wasn't scared of him attacking me but that's unlikely, he would always grab me or pull me around like I'm some ragdoll, he slapped me once then apologised profusely, I didn't know how to react.

I wish I left then, I wish I had the balls to say no and just leave, but 21 year old me thought I could change him, I could tame him, then the spiking incident. When I think about all of the shit he had done wrong it makes me wonder how I could be so dumb.

I've been keeping this all in from everyone, Z knows about the emotional abuse but he doesn't know that he slapped me once, he would've made a scene and Chris did apologize so back then I just let it slide.

I finally arrive at my mums, with the memories of my past relationship still fresh in my mind. There's two cars here, which means both of my parents are here. What  a surprise, a serial cheater was forgiven by my mum.

I walk up the front steps and ring the doorbell, I have no idea why I'm so nervous, it's not as if I don't know who these people are. I can hear the lock on the other side be pulled.

"Luna, what a....surprise." I'm aware she wasn't expecting me but that was a very cold greeting.

"Hi mum." Why am I acting so timid? I hate the way my parents make me feel, especially now I'm 24. They still make me feel like I'm some naïve 12 year old.

"Well don't just stand there the neighbours will question, get in." She turns and scurries into the house, I follow behind her, closing the door behind me.

"Nice to see you too." no, hello or how are you.

"Don't start now Luna, I've been busy." Doing what, she doesn't work. She's a stay at home wife or ex-wife, I have no idea what the state of my parents marriage is like anymore.

"So how have you been?" I've always been shit at small talk, especially with my mum.

"Why the small talk, I know max sent you." How loving is she?

"Max didn't send me, he came to me asking to check on you but I said no, he made it seem like you were unstable again, so I thought I would check in" I'm guessing he was lying.

"He is such a little worrier, I do love that boy." Yes, we get it he's your golden child.

"So are you unstable?, or was this some big ploy from Max to get me here." There has to be some other reason Max wanted me to come.

"I am not unstable, your brother just panicked. Why would this be some ploy, don't flatter yourself Luna" I wish Harry was here.

"I'm not flattering myself mum, but why did he make it seem as if you had gone off the rails. If you clearly haven't." She's hiding something.

"Jesus Christ, me and your dad had a big blow out at family dinner last week that was it." Family dinner, I thought we stopped, I'm guessing that memo was just for me.

"Why did you argue, did he cheat again?" I bet he did.

"What else would he have done, sometimes you act thick as shit" Love you to mum.

"It's dad, I don't know what he could have done." She just rolls her eyes, but grabs the kettle and takes it over to the sink.

"Well he apologised so we are good for now, he loves me." Dad doesn't love anyone but himself and the money in his account.

"Don't roll your fucking eyes at me." She treats me like a child.

"Is dad even here?" I really don't want to see him.

"I am here." Great, just fucking great.

"Dad, hi." he shakes my hand, a hand shake. I am your daughter.

"Why are you here? Finally come to your senses to join the business." They have never accepted me for wanting to start my own store.

"Nope, Max mentioned something about mum, but it was a lie so I'll be out of your hair now." Why did Max lie?

"My boy, always looking after his mother." could these two get any further up his arse.

"Okay, well I'm off." As I turn around to leave my dad grabs my arm.

I try to yank my arm out of his grip but he is a lot stronger than me so he doesnt let go, I turn to face him.

"Let go of me." I glare at him.

"My business has a gala in two weeks, you need to be there." He still has hold of my arm, a gala, why? And why do they need me to go?

"Why do I need to go?" He needs to let go of me. His grip tightens around the top of my arm, I am trying my hardest not to show that this hurts me.

"We need to look like a normal family, so you need to come and bring a plus one, my business friends don't need to know your town whore, so I expect you to bring Chris." I bit my bottom lip, we will not cry right now, this isn't the first time he's slut shamed you.

He drops my arm, I play off as if I'm fine when I know that is going to bruise, just great now I'm going to need to hide that for the next week or so.

"I'll come but I'm not bringing Chris." I cannot take Chris.

"Fine, but he must be acceptable for us and wear a suit, this is a big thing for me so don't fuck it up by being yourself Luna." Now all I need is to persuade Harry to come with me.

"Whatever, I need to go, I have a business to run." My dad starts to laugh, as in a proper belly laugh. I know he doesn't take me seriously.

"Don't make me laugh Luna, you run a shop. Fuck off with that business bullshit." I don't bother saying anything else, I pick up my car keys and proceed to leave.

Trying my absolute hardest not to cry, I need to keep it together at least till I get to my car. As I unlock my car, I get in and sit there. I hold my arm where it hurts, I don't get why he needs to get so rough.

I sit here take a deep breath, I will not cry over a man who doesn't deserve my tears, I don't know why I agreed to this fucking gala, it's going to be filled with a bunch of old men who feel as if they can touch and speak to you however they want.

My phone buzzes in my bag just as I'm about to drive off, I quickly grab my phone and see the text is from Harry, he's about over an hour late.

Harold: I'm around, you okay?

He clearly wasn't around, why lie?

Me: I'm okay, I do need to ask you a favour, are you home now?

Harold: yh, come whenever.

Blunt, I do need to ask him about the gala, but why did he say he was around when he clearly wasn't, what the fuck is going on with him these days, I still have the conversation me and Eden had about the mysterious phones.

I also remember the call he got when he took me home that one time a few months ago, he promised me that we would be honest with each other, so I will have to ask him.

I start to drive to his now, I would ask him today, but seeing my parents and then that whole conversation. I know I'm not meant to see Harry for this week until our date but I can't wait until the end of the week for this.

I don't bother playing any music at this point, my mind is too busy from thinking about my family, to Chris, then to harry. My life has been one big roller coaster at the moment, I need to take a moment to breathe.

I need to start working out again, to calm me down. I might take up running again, that was helpful for me, I need to also look into getting a dog. I want my own guard dog, it might help ease some of the anxiety that I've been feeling.

I'm not too far from Harry's now, I do need to be quick here. I want to go home and sleep for the rest of the day, I can't be bothered to socialise. I know it's only Harry but still he knows when I'm off or not, it's weird.

As I pull into Harry's drive, I still don't see his car but apparently he is home. What the fuck is going on, I am way to drained to even bother with these lies right now.

I get out and he comes out of his front door, he looks exhausted. Has he even slept? Is he hungover?

"Harry my god, what have you been doing?" He is so run down.

I place my hand on his face, he hasn't even looked up at me yet. When he does, I can see the stitches on his forehead and his swollen eye.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Is he high right now?

"I'm all good, baby." he is so far from fucking good right now. Where's his dog?

"You are not good, look at the state of you, where's goose?" What in the actual fuck has happened in the two days I haven't seen him.

"I..m grd." His speech has increasingly slurred.

I need to get him in his house, he needs to shower.

"Are you high Harry? You need to tell me what's happened or what you're on?." His speech is all slurred and he can barely walk.

I grab his arm and place it over my shoulder and try to walk him into the house, he's quite heavy and is a lot taller than me. This is just what I need, what has been going on with him.

"Luna, what you doing here you aren't meant to see me." His mood has changed, he's bubbly now, this must be pills.

"I texted you earlier" I'm dragging him into his bathroom. I still have no clue where his dog is.

"You did, didn't you. Wow, your hair is so fucking soft, so's your skin." He's now stroking my face and my hair, I shouldn't laugh but I can't help it, he's being funny.

"Okay, we need to get your clothes off, you need to shower okay." This is the first time I'm going to see him naked without it being sexual.

"You want a strip tease from me, well If the show is what a lady wants she just maybe will get it." That does not make any sense, but he lets go of me and slowly takes his top off, I am so far from turned on right now.

"Bow chicka bow wow." is he trying to re-enact a bad porno right now.

"Harry come on you need to shower, please." He nearly falls and grabs onto the sink.

I take his shorts off as he stands there just staring at himself in the mirror, once he is finally naked, I turn his shower on. I keep the cold water running as he needs to somewhat sober up.

"Come on Harry." I touch his back, rolling up my sleeves. He steps into the shower steeping under the shower head.

"Fuck me that's cold." He doesn't try to change the temperature, I leave him alone in the bathroom whilst I try to find him some new clothes, I've not been to his bedroom yet, it's simple. He has the basics a bed, two bedside tables, one big window. He has black out curtains.

The wardrobe is a walk-in, I go rummaging through his drawers, I grab a pair of black sweat pants and a black t-shirt, I also grab some boxers. I walk back into the bathroom and I see Harry sitting on the floor with his head against the back tiles.

I ran over to him, "Harry, wake up, come on baby." I smack his face and he takes a big gasp, coughing up some water.

"You need to get up now, I got you some fresh clothes." He stands up and gets out of the shower, I pass him a towel and he dries off his hair and face. He then processes to dry the rest off his body. I shouldn't watch him.

"You've seen me naked before, don't get shy now." I turn back around and see him stepping into his boxers, this fucking man.

"You need to eat, I'm going to see what you have. Get dressed and come to the kitchen." I walk out, this is not what I expected to see when I came to Harry's but here I am. I won't be able to ask about the gala today.

I check in his fridge, which is basically empty. Then in his cupboards, he has some pot noodles. This will do for now, he definitely needs to go do a food shop. I boil his kettle and butter some bread.

He walks into the kitchen, topless with his sweatpants hanging low. Can this man not just put on some clothes, he sits in his kitchen, I grab him a glass of water and some tablets. Why did he get himself in such a state?

I pass him the pot noodle and bread, he thanks me. I lean over the island with my glass of water and stare at him. He takes a mouthful of bread and then looks at me.

"So what's with the mess?" he will need to explain this.

"What mess?" he shrugs as if I didn't just put him in a cold shower, whilst he was off his face.

"Don't make me look fucking stupid Harry, so explain." I run my hand through my hair, I am beyond stressed right now.

"Alright, I was with some old pals from years ago, one thing led to another, some pills were shared and here I am, baby." I roll my head back.

"Don't baby me, why pills? Also where the fuck is your dog?" Why is he being so secretive?

"I was bored when they were there, why not? What with the third degree Luna?" Is he taking the piss.

"The third degree, are you fucking kidding me, I came here this morning to get you to come to my mums with me, then I come here to talk to you and then I see you in this fucking state, so I think the third degree is fucking valid here right now Harry." I'm using very aggressive hand movements.

"Alright, I was stressed, I couldn't be asked to be sober anymore so I said fuck it and took the pills, I'm sorry you saw me like this." oh he's sorry, he's fucking sorry.

"Do you do them often?" I can't be around him if he's some sort of drug addict.

"No, I used to then I got sober." He can't even look at me now.

"So you ruined that because your bored, is that even a valid fucking reason." I have no words for him right now, but why won't he tell me where his dog is.

"Yes alright, fuck I'm sorry. I'm not some addict, okay, I'll get sober." I rub my hand over my face.

"Get sober, I'm going to help you, I'll be your sponsor." why am I doing this, he doesn't deserve me but for some reason I can't for the life of me leave him.

"Why?" fuck knows to be honest with you.

"Because for some strange reason, I can't leave you alone." I just shrug at him.

He grabs my hand from across the table and I flinch at the touch from him, I feel like he hasn't touched me in ages. He strokes his thumb against the top of my hand.

"I promise I'm going to get clean, now tell me about the talk with your family. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you." I can tell he means what he's saying, it does warm my heart.

I explain to him the bare minimum about the conversation with my family, I don't want to bombard him straight away with all my family drama.

He really sits there and listens to me ramble on about how Max set me up, Harry rolls his eyes over that comment about my brother. I know he isn't a major fan. He has voiced it tonight.

"So how are you and Max related again if he's a cunt." That makes me laugh, I know how much of a cunt max can truly be. I'm glad to have someone rooting for me for once. We laugh about it and I carry on.

Ranting about my dad, I leave out the way he grabbed me and called me a whore but I mention that he likes to belittle me, I'm trying to be a lot more open with him, he was honest about the drugs so I feel like we have some common ground now.

"I do also have a question for you, I do understand if you want to say no, I will take no offence." I'm rambling right now, which is to be expected.

"Ask away my lady." He's trying to lighten the mood, it is a bit dark and gloomy between us right now, so I appreciate the sentiment.

"So...I have a family gala in two weeks and my lovely father has insisted I bring a date, he wanted me to take my ex but fuck that, so will you be my date?" Please say yes.

He smirks, that fucking smirk he knows what it does to me. I think that's why he does it, he likes to try and get a rise out of me.

"Of course, any excuse to wear a suit, is there a certain way I need to act." Yeah not like ourselves for the whole night.

"We need to be completely different people, you can be Harold for the night." this makes me chuckle, fake names might actually make the night more interesting and fun.

"Harold and Clara, what's our back story." He really is something else, I have a huge grin on my face from when I arrived here, if we can keep going like this and being honest with each other then

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