Note: mention of suicide and abuse.

The four seasons of the year may be too short to look at the surroundings. The blue sky that stretched in the morning, the golden light that was scorching right at noon, the row of clouds that refracted thick so orange filled the afternoon at that time, and the sprinkling of stars accompanied the moon into the night. Don't mind the hours, minutes, and seconds, because years alone have zero range.

That summer was full of drama made by the book of human stories. The hands who write the fate sentence on the destiny book sometimes like themselves. It's nice of them, to let other people go through the abstract synopsis of the laziness of the writers.

Shadows were thick behind the path. The setting sun is suitable to be combined with a tired face with closed eyes and flat lips without any curves. The school bag he was carrying looked heavy, he wanted to put it down immediately and sleep on his bed. The rhythmic steps of the bicycle wheels of children playing past him.

Earphones plugged in, his hands opened the music app, and played a playlist that had taken him all night to compose. The strains of a fast and slow tone at the end invited his head to move slightly to the rhythm. The wind blew against the gray strands, brushing against long blonde hair with glasses that were dazzled by the evening light.

At first, he didn't pay attention, even the blonde thought she was completely invisible at the time. What a surprise when the blonde almost fell because of the pothole, there was a hand holding her arm.

Round glasses down to her pointed nose, a look of surprise with her mouth open facing the flat face of another figure.

"Flies will come in when your mouth is wide open," a distinctive voice, not heavy but not high either, wafted into her ears. A soft laugh, more nervous, was the girl's first response.

"John will catch the fly before it gets into my mouth? Just like he catches me before it falls into the hole?" Her tone was not at all convinced, the frown on the boy's brows and the troubled look in his autumn eyes answered her question.

The grip on the arm slowly loosened, making the girl's body almost fall over. This time she managed to keep her balance.

"John wait for me..!"

He didn't listen to the request, his feet continued on his way, making her have to catch up because of the wide stride.

The two of them crossed the pedestrian bridge side by side, or at least one of them felt so. The girl hummed, John was still using his earphones. They play a different rhythm.

Whistles from passing train tracks filled the air. John continued to focus on his cell phone, pretending to ignore the straight gazes directed by the person beside him.

"Stop glaring at me like that," he finally couldn't help but comment.

Silence is the answer to his question. John quietly stroked his chest, trying to be patient. His feet stopped, his body tilted slightly to meet the pomegranate bead, "Louise."

"You're like an old geezer with a lot of thoughts."

"Really? I gave my three precious seconds to stare at you and this is what you give in response?"

"Well, you look more and more like an old man."

Dizzy, John responded to a strange comment from Louise. No, the girl was weird from the start so John should be more than used to being bothered by her.

Yes, it should.

"John, John! For example, if the sun is exposed to paint, what color will it change too?"

"If the sky is painted, what color will it change? Think to yourself." His curt runs faster, don't forget to turn up the volume of the music too.

Louise's sullen expression passed by her eyes. She quickly followed the long strides of her friend, for this maybe Louise should re-confirm whether she was also considered a 'friend'.

"John is too genius, what's wrong with asking?"

"No matter how smart the person is, you have to filter the questions first."

"It won't be fun to talk!"

The brown bead began to squint, between annoyance and sarcasm, "You think I can be 'fun' in a chat?"

"John is an interesting person, so what?"

For a moment the music in his ears was silent, his feet continued to tread but his heart was beating very fast. "You're a strange person."

"Hey, what do you mean John!?"

The hand was now clasped tightly together, the grip of the smaller palm gripping the man's cold fingers tightly, ignoring the reason why it could happen when it was summer. The chatter that didn't stop seemed to fill his head, resulting in a loud click, even with a thump that released the two of them.

"You're annoying. Leave me."

Thus the passing carriage witnessed the man's departure, leaving the purple scarf in the wind. Louise stayed there, watching John's shadow slowly disappear from before her.

Is that true what you said?

Once again the question was only submerged in the orange glow of the afternoon sun.

***

The first bell resounded even for those at the far end of the class. John lazily rested his head on his crossed arms, summer mornings turned out to be his longtime enemy. Fortunately, their class was only twenty, far less when compared to other classes that had at least thirty people.

'Yeah, don't worry, at least it won't be too noisy—'

"John, good morning! Oops, I forgot this still morning, how about in the afternoon? Uh, the sports teacher said today there will be a running assessment. Don't miss out again like last week!"

John didn't look like he was going to find his peace.

"Why are you here, Louise?"

"Why? I'm in the same class as you, idiot. How could you forget your classmate?"

"You're too annoying in real life, so I'm lazy to include you in this silent head of mine."

"That's not how the brain works, John!"

"Louise! What are you doing? Sit down quickly. Class is about to start," a man in a doctor's coat who was known as their homeroom teacher appeared. With a look as if to say, 'we'll talk again later', John only replied with a roll of his eyes.

They sit next to each other. John was sure that there would soon be a disturbance of whatever form Louise.

TUK!

Just thought about it, and a small rolled-up piece of paper was found on his desk. The wide smile that reflected on the girl's face made John couldn't help but immediately open the paper, he was too sure if he didn't respond there would be troublesome things that Louise gave to him.

Hey grandpa, wanna have lunch together? Incidentally, I brought more food because I know you must have gone senile and forgotten your lunch. Do you agree? Wow so good! We meet on the roof as usual!

Who asked who answered? And again, is Louise helping or mocking him?

The click of John's tongue seemed to signal victory for Louise. John, not bothering any further, decided to close his eyes, good enough if he managed to get some sleep until lunchtime.

The buzz of the crickets somehow crept into his sleep. The sound of blackboard markers and the noise of the teacher teaching in front of the class slowly faded as sleep swallowed his consciousness.

His feelings had only been closed for a second, and now his body was like being hit by an earthquake caused by someone shaking, which John don't want to know much about.

"John! John! John! Come on, wake up!"

Maybe it's bad luck to be stuck with a super hyperactive person like Louise.

Lunchtime is a mess, especially in the school canteen. Many jostles for just a slice of sandwich and fruit juice, sometimes those less fortunate are left with a piece of cake.

John seemed lucky Louise brought more food. Whether it was intentional or not, John survived the long queue in the cafeteria, not with the exercise schedule after this break.

A simple lunch box containing rice, eggs, sausage, and some vegetables in it. Even so, the scent made his stomach start to rumble.

"This is your favorite black coffee. Luckily our school has a lot of vending machines, so it's not hard to get one."

John gave a slow nod as a signal, his hands had begun to grip the spoon and eat the lunch. The rich taste in Louise's cooking was beyond question. The girl was already known for her top-class cooking skills. Any dish could be made ten times better, or so the other said.

"How? Delicious? Or is there something missing?"

"As usual."

"Ehehe! John is shy, admitting that my cooking is delicious."

Ah, she started again with her words.

Well, whatever. John, again, wanted to enjoy the hot summer air without spending any more energy even just talking.

"After school, do you want to go to the cafe? There is a special discount for students who shop there."

"No, I want to—"

"That's it, we have decided to go to the cafe when we get home from school."

"Oi!"

A cheerful laugh never left her lips. Louise stood up, brushing the dust off her skirt before walking over to the guardrail. The wind blowing her blonde hair did not forget to flutter the purple scarf that the girl always wore.

The silence that accompanied them seemed to bring its lullaby.

"It's a very sunny day today," began the girl, capturing John's attention.

He lazily replied, "This summer is said to be sunny," then threw away the trash that had been used by the two of them. Thick clouds crossed the sky above him, carrying shadows that covered the glare of the sun. The head that was wrapped in greenish gray strands moved to the side, staring at the typical smile of Louise who was already facing him from the edge of the very edge of the barrier.

"Ahaha, that's right. Later when it rains I can't say it's sunny anymore, okay?"

There was a brief pause, "I think so."

The bell came at the end of their conversation.

***

Sure enough, when John opened his closed eyes just in time for the last lesson, Louise was already standing by his desk with her trademark smile. With a spirit that seemed endless, considering they had just been ordered to run a marathon, he had been pulled out of the classroom, after tidying up his stuff.

The streets were deserted even though many cars were passing by on the highway next to them. The heat from the scorching sun has more or less reduced the intention of the crowd to walk. Not much shade to cover, so the two teenagers decided to walk faster to reach their destination.

A cafe with a simple design but attracts a lot of interest from young people to make the place a cool hangout when doing assignments or just relaxing. The fan that is installed is perfect for cooling the sweat that is pouring. A glass of cafe latte and black coffee are the two choices, plus a strawberry cake for Louise.

The conversation that flows is also not far from school problems and the assignments given.

"Where will John go after graduation?"

"Anywhere as long as there is no disturbance," he replied nonchalantly.

"Oh, didn't John ever say you wanted to be a doctor?"

An eyebrow raised, "how did you know that?"

It seems that John managed to provoke a proud smile, not forgetting her puffed-up chest, "Louise must know everything!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"So? You want to be a doctor?"

An image flashed through his mind.

"I thought again, being a doctor is too much trouble, maybe I'll choose economics like most people and become an office worker."

"Having an office job means John is going to get a lot of fuss, right?"

A gentle breeze blew through the fan above them, "You're right."

Silence fell over them, the ticking of the clock and the cutlery that filled it. In the afternoon the two of them just stared at each other and finished the dish in front of them, before leaving, of course not forgetting to pay, along the same road when the train passed beside them.

An orange shadow once again followed every step he took. In the hole that Louise had previously managed to jump through, the girl didn't forget to put out her trademark smile as she walked backwards to look at John who was again wearing his earphones.

"John, do you like summer?"

"Only people from the sun love summer."

"I'm just asking ..!"

"And I just answered."

Their short conversation stopped for a moment. Louise was engrossed in the original rhythm that she sang when her feet played 'walking only on stone paths'. John was still focused on the music playing in his ears. Right at the last part, Louise spoke again.

"I hate summer," a voice that was so different. Until John struggled to remove one earphone to make sure he wasn't wrong.

"I thought you were the sun people."

"John that's not funny!"

"Then don't force yourself to like summer."

"Ahaha, John is exactly the kind of old man who likes to give advice."

"Whatever," John was too used to saying this.

But his hand was grasped once again. "Thank you."

Again John paused before he replied, "You can go on and on, I don't care. It's just that your purple scarf is a little annoying."

Louise laughed lightly, "You think so? I really like it though."

Before John could open his mouth, the girl's forefinger stuck to him, "not 'whatever' again. Your heart has a desire, don't just let it go like that."

"Now who looks like a granny?"

"At least I don't have wrinkles from how much your eyebrows are bent."

"Whatever..!"

Louise let John walk ahead of her. Her smile continued to shine even as the young man's shadow disappeared behind the setting sun.

What is the word from your heart?

It seemed like Louise wanted to hold John's cold fingers once again.

***

Today from morning gray clouds have covered the sky. The summer sun was nowhere to be seen, nor was the atmosphere as hot as it had been a few weeks ago. The lessons are still just as boring. Lunch break was only accompanied by a can of his favorite black coffee.

There was no provision or toss of paper to disturb his sleep.

'Where's Louise?'

The question that ran through his mind when the school bell had rung, and all the class left him alone.

One day. Two days. Three days. One week.

There is no sick information or absence, its existence is like being swallowed by the void of air. Miraculously, that week the sun was out of sight, and John didn't manage to get his regular sleep during class.

Coming home from school after a week still rains. John took out an umbrella and prepared to head to his house. When he looked up at the sky, there was a sense of ambiguity in his heart, telling him not to go home yet, and to go to the roof where they used to have lunch.

TAK!

The vending machine takes out his favorite can of coffee. The stairs leading to the roof were very quiet, especially now that school time is over. The lightning that struck for some reason didn't scare John.

'Though usually I would have rolled up in a blanket in my room and slept.'

The metal doorknob was cold to the touch. When it was opened, the strong wind grabbed his face, which was natural because it was a storm, and John was still desperate to go into the open room without any protection.

Silence for a moment, John just realized someone else was there. A figure who has not bothered him for more than a week. Rain does reduce fog, especially since it's summer when there will be a lot of fog forming.

The dark purple scarf is the most striking clue for John.

"Louise? What are you doing there? Trying to turn into a statue?"

"Ah? John? Ahaha, so? Did I manage to become a statue then?"

"You're doing so badly because you don't look alike at all."

He put down his bag and all his belongings. Never mind the rain, what John wanted at that time was to get close to the girl's face and make sure that his eyes still functioning correctly.

"John?"

"What?" The short answer seemed curtly actually managed to make the girl laugh, but this time John really hated it.

"You still hate summer?"

"Of course, what's with the question?"

"No, it's okay," this time John let Louise finish, "I hate summer too."

When the girl turned around, from a good distance away John could still tell which raindrops were raining and which were the tears that fell without hesitation from her pale cheeks.

"Louise—"

"The summer of ten years ago, when my two brothers and I, and our parents decided to climb the mountain, we were caught in an accident that killed both of them. My second Brother shut himself up without eating and drinking because of shock," Louise still smiled unmoving from her face, "and you know what? Mom died from holding me so tight to lessen the impact on me."

"Oi—"

"Three years ago, my second Brother decided to commit suicide, after he killed the person who tried to harass me. The court found my brother guilty and discharged the perpetrator of the abuse," the hand that had been gripping her school skirt, now moved to touch her scarf.

"Louise, I didn't know you—"

"It's okay. Last month I got a call, My eldest Brother, who was put in jail for allegedly committing fraud, is dead because he was beaten by prison thugs. He didn't even commit fraud but was a victim of fraud too, and the warden in charge of guarding Brother let Brother beaten badly without any intention to intervene," her voice was getting hoarse, somehow John knew this was not the end of the story.

"A week ago I just found out everything. Why did the accident happen while on the mountain, the reason my second Brother committed suicide until my eldest Brother was slandered like that."

John could no longer describe his hatred towards the smile that formed on the girl's pale lips.

"My uncle, the one who took care of us when our parents died. He was hungry for wealth, he hated Father who got all the love from Grandpa and Grandma. He planned an accident, he instigated Big Brother to commit suicide, he also slandered about the fraud so that all the company's shares fell into his hands. He bribed the warden to kill Big Brother in prison," this time Louise bit her lip too hard for a drop of blood to escape, "and he's also the abuser who attacked me."

Has John ever felt his limbs go limp when he heard other people's stories? He was so guilty now, he wanted to hug Louise's body, comfort her and hold her close.

"It all happened in my favorite season, summer. I always wanted to go out with the whole family without rain or storm, bask in the hot sun joking with my two brothers. We would laugh at how burned our skin was, and end it all with fireworks," the rainwater no longer hides her melt of sorrow.

"I used to hate the rain for always thwarting family vacation plans, now I'm hoping why not just a storm then? John, am I a bad child for wishing it didn't rain ten years ago?"

In his mind, John just hoped his feet would beat the sound of the girl's tiny body colliding with the guardrail at the end of the roof. His arms were outstretched until it felt hurt. His brown eyes narrowed sharply, so he wouldn't mishandle her like the male character in one of the dramas he'd been watching lately.

"LOUISE!"

GRAB! BRUK!

The heart beats fast, but it's not a romantic feeling like in the movies. "Are you crazy!?" He shouted as the two small shoulders were shaken tightly.

Luckily John was still able to pull the body that was almost carried away by gravity.

The pomegranate bead no longer shines, and the purple scarf has flown.

"Look, I'm not a very good talker, but what I do know is that death is bad. You think your family