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Chapter 25 : The Face Off

" I left my memories behind in search of freedom,

But they still follow me as I walk towards the future.

Dark thoughts of a different life,

Where dreams spend their days in a cage and love is nothing but pain...."

~Christy Ann Martine

Present day....

AK Fashion House....

Delhi....

With a determination Khushi wipes her tears which were flowing remembering Arnav face and his eyes full of agony. Then she took a turn towards Arnav's cabin. Khushi was about to enter in Arnav cabin but halted in her step at the doorway. She heard Arnav was conversing actually, arguing with someone, and the voice she recognised to be of Aman Mathur... But the words which Arnav spoke break Khushi all over again... Khushi rooted in her place, all shattered.. Once again...

"Please Understand Aman... If Khushi come to know that real reason why I humiliated her on that day, She will probably never see my face, ever." Arnav pleaded Aman who was beyond angry.

" Don't ... Don't you dare utter a word more.. I could not believe, were you that much idiot? Look ASR, just tell Khushi about your so called reason and then ask for her forgiveness.... I seriously don't care about what you are feeling and all, but I care for Khushi... and Khushi has the right to know.." Aman said irritated this time...

" Tell her? Tell her the truth and then lost her for forever?" Arnav asked a little harsh this time.

" I cannot believe Arnav... I never thought that you will be like this much selfish and jerk.. once a jerk, always a jerk...You always claimed that you loves Khushi and for the last six years seeing your condition, somewhere I also started to believe that you really love Khushi... But man.." Aman was rudely cut off by Arnav..

" I love her.. I love Khushi, Aman... Don't .. Don't you dare doubt on my love... I not only love her but I was obsessed about her and still I am... The only thing that I lacked was TRUST... I did not able to put my trust on her, I bend down before the fake proofs they all showed me, I ... I was so much jealous, about her closeness with Daksh.. And when the photograph came infront of me and I saw them hugging each other and confessing their love to each other, I just .. I just.." Arnav voice choked with emotions, a few tears drops rolled down from his eyes. " I cannot tell Khushi about the actual reason before earning my forgiveness, because ..."

" Because you are a selfish, egoistic jerk, who knew only about himself..This is not love ASR, love always comes with trust... Khushi believes that because of your unconditional love for Sheetal, you took the revenge and destroyed her, just for Sheetal's happiness, but if she comes to know that......" Aman stopped looking straight to Arnav's red eyes.

"If she comes to know that it is not because of Sheetal or her instigation but it is because of my mistrust, because of my extreme jealousy that I humiliated her, If she come to know that I trusted those photograph over her, if she comes to know that I thought so low about her, she will not even see my face ever, forget about forgiveness... Truth to be told, I myself felt disgusted when I look back on that day, the memories haunt me day and night... But I am scared; scared that what will be her reaction when she will come to know about that, it was because of My Insecurity, my jealousy, my immaturity and my bruised ego, that I snatched everything from her.... Above all the truth is that, though I claimed to love her but I did not put enough trust on Her.. I thought she is betraying me with Daksh...Basically I MISTRUSTED her... I ... I..." Arnav suddenly froze in her place looking at the way where Aman is looking... There standing Khushi in the doorway and the way her face became pale and contorted with pain, it proves that she has heard everything....

" So...You thought I am going behind your back and having an affair?" Khushi's voice was low yet the brokenness is prominent...

" Look.. Khushi...listen..." Arnav gulp down seeing the brokenness in Khushi's face. The guard Khushi had put on her face till now was just gone.. It was that 19 years old girl, who was brutally humiliated by the person whom she loved with all her heart and who in return crushed her under his big fat ego and mistrust...

"Well, Khushi... please come with me.. listen..." Aman was cut off by Khushi herself, " No Aman bhai... I want to talk with Mr Raizada... can you please leave us alone? PLEASE..." Nodding Aman Mathur left the cabin but not before glaring at Arnav..

**********************

There is a pregnant silent in the cabin...Khushi was looking so exhausted, her feature depict that as if she lost a battle.. Arnav carefully observed her with his needy eyes which were eagerly waiting for her since last 6 years.

" So... You believe I am having an affair seeing me with Daksh and assume things? And just Like that tagged me as characterless girl only because you did not able to trust me? Because of your insecurity, you make sure to snatch my everything? Did not you for once thought to confront me? For heaven sake, we were friends.. At least for the sake of friendship and humanity, did not you bother to ask me about that so called Photograph or whatever scene you witness? .. You know what Arnav, since that day, till today, I believed that whatever you did towards me due to your UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for Sheetal... though I was devastated, humiliated, damaged beyond repaired, but I always, always remembered the reasons for your deed and somewhere it make me still believe that TRUE LOVE EXIST.... I thought because your true love for Sheetal you destroyed me, but today, after 6 long years, I came to know it was your MISTRUST on me?? You never trusted me, you were jealous and insecure and you thought to BURN ME ALIVE ??" Khushi struggled for breath after so much stressful revelation..

Arnav came towards Khushi with two long strides, seeing her so vulnerable.. His own condition was no better. Arnav was about to hold Khushi but Khushi warned him not to come in front of her.

Dejected Arnav just started to say something but Khushi beat him, before Arnav could open his mouth Khushi said, " Do you remember Mr Raizada, 6 years before I only wanted one thing from you, that is TRUST... this trust was always plays the major role in my life... Years ago my so called biological father betrayed my mother and me , in turn breaking my trust, then years after when with lot of struggle I allow You in my life, you just broke my trust in the same manner..Once it was Sheetal mother and now it was Sheetal...but every time, I became the victim..without any fault of mine. I guess it was my fault after all...because I choose to believe a womaniser like you, so, I deserve this reward.. " Khushi's voice was trembling with extreme pain and her eyes were shedding tears of agony. Arnav's condition was no better.. ...

But..

But the difference is Arnav brings the destructions in his life by himself where as Khushi was being victimises...

"Whatever I did on that day, I know it's not a mere mistake but a sin..But believe me Khushi I..." Arnav finally spoke making Khushi snapped her head towards him. Arnav took few steps back seeing the immense hatred in her eyes. He knew that Khushi will hate him for his deed but knowing and witnessing the same is entirely two different aspects.

"Believe you? Mr Raizada Are you making fun of me? Believe you so that you again broke me the remaining whatever pieces I am having now? Believe you so that you can again make fun of me? Believe you?? You know what even your friends Veer and Raaj were better than you because they never pretend unlike you.." Khushi spat making Arnav close his eyes to control his tears.

" I am not that naive Khushi Gupta who will believe you and your every uttered lies blindly. Now it make senses, why you stalked me, why you showed so much concern and care on me...Actually you wanted to crushed me so badly, that I can never be regain myself, that I lost my everything and eventually I die...You wanted to KILL ME... Now I get it.. You must be very disappointed that I am still breathing... Now what will you do?? Make some more vicious plan to KILL ME...once and for all??" Khushi smirked looking at Arnav's face which became pale..

" By the way, I am ready Mr Raizada...bring your nasty plan , unlike you I will face you...let's see, what kind of dangerous trap you plan for me this time to KIIL....." Khushi could not able to complete her words because a muscular palm covered her mouth..

Looking at infront, Khushi sees Arnav was standing almost hovering over her and shaking his head in denial.

Khushi got angry but at the same time her heart thumped in her rib cage. She felt the same kind of increased heart beat which she use to feel years before.. This man still had the same effect on her.. Khushi felt surprised as well as angry on herself... But she comes back from her self monologue hearing Arnav's voice.

" Don't... DON'T utter those words Khushi...It hurts..It hurts to hell Khushi.... Don't say that I am indented to kill you ...this thought itself sending me in the verge of losing my sanity.. Please don't... I know that my deeds are too massive that it's difficult for you to forgive me or believe me once again, But ...there is so many things I need to tell you, there is lot more...Please just listen me once... will you ?" Arnav almost pleaded Khushi while few tear drops spill from his eyes...

In all this while, Khushi was observing Arnav closely. He became more handsome in these years, he looks more mature, but there is gloominess in all over his gesture. Specially his eyes, they are speaking volumes, it's showing immense pain, hurt, rage and something akin to..To MADNESS ???

"What is it, actually?" Khushi thought looking at Arnav's eyes.

"Now what the great ASR wants to speak with a no one like me?" Khushi taunted back the moment Arnav removes his palm over her mouth..

Ignoring the taunt swallowing thickly Arnav spoke, " I... I..want to talk with you, about so many things..if you want to beat the crap out of me, then beat me, slap me but in return listen to me Khushi..."

But Arnav felt loss of words when he raised his eyes to Khushi and found her looking at him so vehemently that his inside churned with pain, he felt suffocated.

" Don't look at me with so much hatred Khushi," Arnav chocked and Khushi looked side way.

" You heard me right, It was not because of any third person but it was my mistrust which compelled me to take such actions which I took years ago.. Do you know why?? Why I was so jealous, so mad at you? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DAMMIT....I love you like a insane..That's why I lost my rational mind. If my feelings for you was a little less, I would not had feel so much jealous, if I was not insecure regarding my past, the scenario would have been different today.. I was always restless, scare to lose you. Because of my past, I always felt inferior.. I knew I don't deserve a pure soul like you but still I wanted you, Because You were the only light which illuminate my otherwise darken path which I choose in my foolishness. The thought of letting you go or someone is snatching you always kept me on my toe. Why do you think I use to land in your hostel room early in the morning every day? Because I was always insecure.. Insecure to lose you Khushi... The moment I saw the photograph I went to confront you Khushi, believe me. But there in front of your hostel I found you and Daksh hugging each other and confessing your love.. It broke me Khushi... I lost myself... I was so hurt, so angry, so so jealous... I was hurt and I wanted to hurt you the same way, I was in pain, so I wanted to drawn you in the same pain....Believe me, If my feelings were not that much intense for you, I would not had caused the blander... and besides, when Sheetal told her fake story to me, the first person I remember was Rima aunty and Pakhi.... I thought to give justice to Rima aunty and Pakhi, though it was total irrational part from my side but I was not thinking straight and irony is that I insulted those particular two persons instead...I am very sorry, Khushi ...whatever I did to you...I am so sorry....I know a mere sorry will never give you return whatever you lose, but please Don't abandon me once again..I will not survive this time... I am breathing but I want to LIVE once again...since the last 6 years, I am not Arnav , but I am carrying the shadow of the man who was once Arnav, the jovial 21 years boy.... Khushi...ALONG WITH YOU, YOU TOOK AWAY MY EVERYTHING THAT DAY...my feelings, my sanity, my desire to live...EVERY...DAMN...THING.... I was breathing but was not alive since you left that day. I was waiting for your return since the last six years, every second of my life, with the believe that I will get the chance to bare my heart to you, that I will make you understand about my situation, that I will beg you to give me a chance to heal you and in process, I will get cured too... I know I am too damaged to demand something like this but I cannot help it Khushi... Because I WANT TO LIVE.....and without you I will not survive...I promise I will accept all your punishment without uttering a single words, beat me, slap me, humiliate me, I will endure everything with a smile but please... PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME...don't say, I am a stranger... Don't push me away from you...I will not survive this time...I will not...." and with that Arnav Singh Raizada fell on the ground on his knees covering his face with his palm and splinted into helpless sob.

" PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME..... Don't push me away from you...I will not survive this time...I will not.... the burden of guilt is killing me Khushi...choking me...show me some mercy, relieve me from this suffocating life of mine...." the agony, the suffocation of living a love less life and above all the burden of the sins which destroyed not only Khushi but eventually his own life, all came out into his helpless sob. Arnav did not cried openly that day, after humiliating Khushi but the sin was internally crawling his heart, snatching his sanity, drowning him in pool of guilt and pushing him towards an agonizing death, finally find a way to pour out And the floodgate finally opened Arnav cried like a baby...

Arnav's heart wrenching sobs shook Khushi too, she can feel the tears were flowing from Arnav's eyes like a waterfall and unknowingly few tear drops slips from her eyes ... And at that very moment Arnav raised his head with his bloodshot eyes and tears stained cheeks to her.

Time stilled for both of them...

"Khushi...Don't leave me... I will surely die THIS TIME..." Arnav's voice was so much agonizing that Khushi felt her heart broke...once again.. For a moment of desperation, Khushi forgot all her sufferings, all her humiliations and all her loss but her heart went for the devastated man infront of her, whom once she loved and trusted with all her heart...and Khushi will not deny, that still there is corner in her heart which belongs to Arnav...because emotions cannot die so easily, especially if they are true in all means... and Khushi's feelings for Arnav was something so pure and genuine, Arnav was not only Khushi's first love but he was the only man of her life, who successfully had broke the wall around her heart and make a place in her heart by himself.. And the saddest part is he himself leave that place leaving a shattered Khushi behind..all alone.. BUT STILL...something was there which connected them together in all these 6 years, was it agony, was it pain, was it unfulfilled love, Khushi don't know... BUT for these particular moment She wanted to comfort this man...Khushi was about to put her hand on Arnav's hair but few words from past rushed back to her," Gold-digger... Characterless... illegitimate.." and her extended hand halted in air.

She make a tight fist, closed her eyes and about to turn in her heel without uttering any single words but Arnav's pleads reached towards her ears, once again.. " mat jao...mat jao Khushi... ( Don't go..don't go).... I once survived but not for this time... not again...I will die..... I will die surely...."

But putting a stone on her heart Khushi spats, " THEN.... DIE....... I don't care if you live or die...I absolutely don't care...You means nothing to me... You are nothing...infact...truth is that Mr Raizada....YOU ARE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE....." and with that Khushi Gupta run towards her own cabin putting a hand over her mouth to prevent the sob coming out and leaving behind a shocked, devastated , stunned Arnav sitting on the floor with his broken demeanor.

************************

After few hours...

Khushi was in her cabin trying to focus on her works but it was all in vain. Arnav's devastated look, his cry and the words.. " I will die..." was not letting to concentrate her in any in her works..

Khushi was restless, she wanted to see Arnav once but did not able to make herself ready... she was really really confused today...

Whatever Arnav confessed today, it was too difficult to believe for Khushi.. For the last 6 years she was with that thought that Arnav loves Sheetal and