dedicated to psuhuna,sanjana5555,Dinkwetsi,BSRaizada,Priya_sv,  user16243309,gauripjoshi,

and all my lovely readers and friends.......

Chapter 24 : End Or Beginning

" So, It's true, when all is said and done,

Grief is the price we pay for love.."

~E.A. Bucchianeri

Six Years and few months back...

India...

Early Morning....

City Hospital....

Private Cabin...

8 MONTHS Later....

It was dark, so dark with no sign of light. A pool of darkness and a few murmurs which were getting louder and louder, " My chote is a genious...", "papa, chote broke my doll...," "dad Arnav again fought in school....," " Chote, come here, meet my friend Garima and her daughter......", "Come on maa, I was just trying to ride the bike....," " Hi, I am Aman, will you be my friend?...." "Nannav, Mere Bhai....", " Ratna Jiji, don't scold Chote anymore, he will not repeat the mistake again....," "Bhaisahab, Chote got chance in Harvard...." " Sale Sahab, I supported you this time, but please don't pull this stunt again.."

So many voices but there are not a single ray of light. 

Suddenly a dim figure made its presence. An angelic face was coming closer. Who was she? A fairy? An Angle? Everything went so silent. All the voices vanished. But in no time they were back.

" What the....." " Are what the nehi sorry..." " Ohh.. You and Library..." "hold My hands??....." " Casanova Kahi Ka... Rakshash.....," "I promise, I will not go against Khushi's wish.....," "Okay, let's go, we seriously need to talk....," "And now who is behaving like a father?...." "It's a no from my side...," , "I am ready to be your friend.....," " Are you comparing me with that Daksh?...." "Arnav you Rakshash , I will not spare you today......," " So, Raizada to had limitations?....." "Me too playing with my Angel....", " So, I am looking like a clown?...." " You have really beautiful smile Arnav, always keep smiling,...." "Light has already came in my life Khushi,....." "Khuhsi, I am really sorry, I am sorry for who I was,....." "You made my world a better place Khushi,....." "Why are you crying?...." " I am scared, what if I have lost you?....." " BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DAMMIT..." " Instead of cheek, you should have kiss me on my lip..Khush......" "Happy birthday Khushi..." "Dance for me while singing a song.......,"

The angel is smiling, smiling so brightly and my heart is dancing with joy. The love shining in her eyes mesmerizing me, the angel is dancing in rain and I am seeing thousands of lights illuminated around me. 

Suddenly, some more voice came,

"Who I am to you?......" "She is the illegitimate daughter of her home wrecker mother,....." "She is a bloody middle class, gold digger,....." " I hate you from the bottom of my heart,....." "You disgust me,....." "Khushi is missing only because of you,....." "You should die,....." "KHUSHI... I LOVE YOU... PLEASE FORGIVE ME, PLEASE.... FORGIVE ME..."

The angelic face was going away. Everything was again becoming dark. That teary face was looking at him with accusing eyes now. 

The pain had increased. No she cannot go. He could not do it anymore. He tried to hold her hand but she silently took it away from him. She was gone....'''

No.......

No.... No.....

Please Stop.....

stop.... STOP........

" KHUSHI............Khushiiiiiii......Khushiiiiiiiiiiiii............." with a loud scream Arnav opened his eyes. Manorama who was sitting next to his bed got up with a jerk. " Arnav," she tried to make him calm but he was shaking his head sideways vigorously. "Khushi... stop her chachi, she cannot go like that, and she is alone... I have to go behind her, I have to protect her... she is in danger..." Manorama hugged tightly Arnav patting his back. " Arnav, calm down bitwa."

He stopped struggling and looked around. It was probably a hospital room. He looked at Manorama then at his hand where he could see bandages everywhere. His legs were covered in plaster. His head was throbbing. He touched it and found it also bandaged.

Manorama cupped his face. " Thank God you got up Arnav, thank God." She said and kissed his forehead. Her tears were not stopping. She could not tell how happy she was to see her ladla Chote, their Chote coming back to consciousness.

She called the doctor who came there and assured her everything was all right. " We will take off the plaster after few days. Head injuries will definitely take some times to heal. But the good thing is he is out of coma now. Everything else will also get settled now. You may inform the other family members..." He assured Manorama and patting Arnav's shoulder left from there.

Arnav looked at the retreating back of the doctor and then looked at his chachi. "Choti Maa.." " Arnav please don't talk much. It's not good for your health." He did not care and held her hand. " Choti maa, I have to go to search for Khushi... I have to go...She left all alone. Just because of me. Did you all find her? Where is she ?"

Manorama looked at him with tear filled eyes. " Choti Maa, please tell me what happened?" she cupped his face. "We tried Arnav... but... we could not ... find her." he looked at his Chachi with shocked eyes. What that means? They could not find her?

Arnav was about to fall back on his bed when Manorama held him. " Arnav," but he was not listening at all. Manorama took her phone and dialled Akash, Ratna and also informed other family members. She needed them right now. She could not see her Arnav this much torn. This much shattered. Arnav kept on looking at nothing in particular.

Manorama held his hands but he did not make any movement. " Arnav talk to me, bitwa.." He looked as if he had lost all battles of his life. "For how long I have been here?"

Manorama became still. She feared this question. What she would tell him? "Tell me please."

Manorama did not look in his eyes and whispered slowly. "Almost eight months." His hold on his Chachi's hand loosened. He could feel his head was spinning. Eight months. Eight damn months. He was unconscious for Eight months. Why his destiny was being so cruel to him? For Eight months his life, his Khushi was missing. He did not know where she was. Was she all right? Was she okay? He knew nothing. He closed his eyes feeling the pain once again.

Manorama looked at his helpless state and sobbed. What had happened to their ever smiling and carefree Chotey?

Just then Akash entered the room followed by all other family members. "Arnav," Arvind looked at him but then stopped there. His face was telling how much angry he was.

" Papa not now please." Shyam pleaded looking at Arnav's lost state. "Why not? This guy can never change. I thought he had stopped all this non sense rebellious act. But no. For him this is an adventure right. How deliberately he wanted to take his own life? Did not you ever think about us? About your family, at least about your mother?" Arvind screamed avoiding Shyam's pleads.

Akash was looking at his brother who was looking like a lost child. His eyes became teary seeing his brother's this state. Why destiny was being so cruel to them? Eight months. These Eight months were a sheer torture for his family. His brother was in coma and because of him, Khushi was missing. Why this was happening to his brother and Khushi?

All this while Ratna was standing like a statue, not uttering a single words.

Akash looked at Nk who was also looking at Arnav's lost state. Arvind was about to say something more when Arnav looked up with his teary eyes. " I am sorry dad, I am sorry mom. I am so ashamed of myself, I don't deserve to be alive... I...."

Arnav was cut off rudely when someone slapped him hard.

Everyone including Arnav looked at the person who slapped Arnav , who just after eight months come back from Coma...

She is Ratna Singh Raizada, Arnav's mother. And before anyone could proceed any further all of them heard Ratna's voice loud and clear, " Listen me clear Arnav, if you ever had loved me and considered me as your mother and this family as your own, then you have to promise me that you will not take such stunt in future. If you did any sins, then amend those, earn forgiveness.. Don't try to escape like a coward.. I don't think I had raised a coward for these 21 long years. Don't make me feel like a worthless mother anymore, who failed to give his son morals and values, even failed to raised up like a man who can accept his own mistakes bravely......"

Everyone including Arnav had tears in their eyes... Arnav finally taking a deep breath said, "I promise you maa... I will not try to commit suicide.. I WILL FACE MY DEMON BY MYSELF...I know it will kill me every second to remember that I had destroyed an innocent life but till my last breath I will search for Khushi and beg my forgiveness.."He said when tears chocked his throat.

Arvind looked at Ratna with pleading eyes to stop considering Arnav's health condition. But their silent communication was broken by Arnav's voice. " Mom remember, you used to say this to me that one day I will get a huge punishment for worrying my parents like this? See, I am getting my punishment."

Arnav ran a shivering hand through his hair. A bitter chuckle escaped his lips. " I lost Khushi... I pushed her away and now she has left... away from me. Neither she will come back nor will she forgive me. I have lost her mom, I have lost her."

Mrs Devyani came close to him trying to give him the needed support. He looked at her and hugged her tight. "All my life I kept on running away from love... I knew I had started loving her, damn I love her insanely and I knew deep down in her heart, she too loves me, But I failed to trust her nani.. I failed to keep my faith on her. I believed on those Photograph and believed on those vile friends of mine over Khushi.. Heck, I did not even give her a chance to explain her point.. She even doesn't know why I brutally snatched her everything..... I was so jealous seeing her with Daksh, that I forget My rational mind, I said too much to her... tortured her..Insulted her pure love..Broke her beautiful heart.. And the moment I understood that I cannot live without her... she left me...how would I live without her??"

Arnav burst into tears while uttering those words. Suddenly his breaths were becoming shallow. Mrs Devyaji looked at other family members horrified. Shyam ran to call the doctor. Akash lay him down while he was just murmuring Khushi's name again and again.

********************

"He is taking too much tension Mr Raizada. And as he has just come out of coma it is not good for his health. Try to make him calm and don't give him any tension." The senior consultant doctor told the family members sternly looking at the pale figure of Arnav who is now sleeping due to the effects of medicines. And then the doctor asked the question which the family members were dreading to hear..

" Who is Khushi? I guess may be Arnav's fiancée or girlfriend. Now from Arnav's incoherent words it's clear that must be there is something happened between the couple and in anger or frustration Arnav took the step to finish himself. Generation these days..so unpredictable.. But better call Khushi here. He seems so much in love with her. This will help him recovering." Doctor said and left from there.

Ratna stands like a statue while Manorama and Anjali slumped on the sofa crying helplessly. Shyam came to Anjali to hold her. "Search her Shyamji, please, my chotey cannot live without her." Shyam patted Anjali's head feeling too helpless right now. "We are trying our best Anjali from last eight months. But there is no luck. Now I understand why we cannot find her. Khushi is doing it purposely, hiding from us."

Shyam closed her eyes feeling more helpless. Everything was so messed up. How they would bring it all back? They all had just got their Chotey back but his state had shocked everyone. The eight months had just a torture.

Anjali cried more remembering the day when it all started. When they received the news of Arnav's accidents and rushed towards hospital and were shocked to see his state. It was not a small accident. His head was badly injured. There were a fracture in hand and legs with many minor injuries. Doctors were sure he was slipping in coma and yes it did happen. He slipped into coma after having a surgery. Doctors were not sure when he would come back to his senses. According to them it could take a day, a week, a month, a year or many for him to come back. Anjali had believe in her God. She knew her Chotey would be back.

But there was not only his state which was a source of worry for them. Khushi was missing. They tried every possible way of finding her but there was no luck. It seemed as if she had vanished in air. She wiped her tears and folded her hands."God please send her back.. Arnav will die without Khushi ."

*********************

One week later....

Shyam entered in the hospital cabin and looked at his brother –in –law's lost state and took a deep breath. It was not easy for any of them. They had never seen him like this. He was awake now looking at nothing in particular. His face had lost its charm. The dark circles under his eyes were telling the story of pain he had undergone all these months. But the pain was not over yet , truth to be told it's a beginning of new painful journey. His eyes had lost their brightness. There was a sadness engulfing his whole existence.

Shyam wiped his tears and came to him. " Arnav..." he looked at his jijaji with a blank face.

"Eat something." Shyam said softly.

" I am not hungry. I am fine now." He said in a low voice that was only audible to Shyam. Whom he was kidding? He was not at all okay.

" Just a little bit. For me? Please, Chotey." He turned his head sideways not uttering a word.

Shyam brought the morsel close to his mouth when he looked at him with his blood red eyes and asked " jiju... what if Khushi... .she..has not eaten anything?"

Shyam closed his mouth to muffle the sob. Why destiny was playing with two souls who were so much in love. Shyam knew Arnav had not done things in a right way, infact whatever he did is sins but he is ashamed. He had confessed his love for her. He had fought with death for eight months. And unless Arnav sees Khushi or ask for his forgiveness, he will not heal.. it's not about physical wound but the emotional trauma which will not let Arnav live in peace.

"And Khushi?" Shyam's inner self whispered back and Shyam again closed his eyes to overcome the ache in his heart remembering her. He is cursing himself every second after getting the news from Aman that Khushi left alone in the midnight and they all failed to find out her..

" Why did not he understood Khushi's inner thought? Why he did not bring her in India with him?" Shyam's thought travelled again where it was just eight months back. Though initially Shyam consoled himself telling that it was for both Arnav and Khushi's sake, that Khushi needs time to face Arnav but now Shyam knew that it was not the reason.. Truth is that, Shyam gave the priority to his family, to save the family from ultimate guilt and shame, Shyam did not bring Khushi with him..

Was not he too selfish??...yes, he was.. After all he too a human being and he chose his family over Khushi..

And like every other time, Khushi left behind...ALONE......

Shyam left the plate there and ran out of the hospital room to control his guilt conscience, leaving Arnav with his loneliness and repentance. Arnav closed his eyes when a lone tear rolled down his cheeks. " Come back Khushi . I cannot live without you. Come Back to punish me, but please come back..."

**********************

Three weeks later....

Doctor Roy's Cabin...

City Hospital...

Delhi...

"It's been three weeks that Arnav woke up from coma. His physical condition is improving and me and my team is sure we will able to discharge him within few days more..though he has to travel in wheel chair now, but soon he will be able to stand by his own feet... a good physiotherapy will help....But..." Dr Roy, the senior consultant of the hospital who was looking after Arnav's case took a pause and looks infront of him.

Today Dr Roy had called few of Arnav's family members, and there sitting Arvind Singh Raizada, Manohor Singh Raizada and Shyam Manohor Jha.. Being a doctor himself, Akash too was present in the cabin.

Dr Roy again looked at the anxious faces of the family members with his experienced eyes and continued, " Arnav's physical health may be improved and will be cured but his mental health condition is deteriorating with each passing