Los Angeles, California
February 14
Beyoncé

"This that single mama shit bruh, I swear to God." I took stinky out of the car and kissed her lips, cradling her in my arms.

Nika told me about not having Luxe in her carrier when I carry her but I just always want my daughter with me, on me at all times.

When we got in Nika's office, Cavalli was running around the office and Nika wasn't even saying anything to her. Her face was just blank.

"Cavalli Beyince, sit down." I snapped and pointed to the couch. She sat down and whined. "I don't wanna hear it, you been running around all day and I know your mommy didn't say nothing to you. Sit down and be quiet. You have homework?"

"Yes."

"Do it."

I kissed Nika's cheek but she didn't even move. I put Luxe in her swing that was in her office and kissed her tiny little forehead.

"Baby you okay? You didn't even say nothing to Valli and these Jolly Ranchers still have wrappers on them."

That made her laugh. "I'm fine."

"You're fine? Usually you be on Cavalli's and if not, you call me. So you're not fine. Tell me wassup." I took her hands off of the keyboard and turned her to me. "Look... and talk to me."

"I don't know what you want me to talk about. I'm just sad."

"What you sad about? You look good and you just had a baby girl that for some odd reason, you don't connect with."

"That's what I'm sad about. I feel like I can't connect with my daughter and it saddens me because the moment she came out, you had her and she loved you so much."

"She's a baby. She's two weeks old. You have your and her entire life to connect with stinky. She's getting your features too. You see those eyes? I had her because I couldn't have Cavalli."

"I know but why didn't I connect with her the way I did with Cavalli?"

"Baby that happens and it happens to most mothers. You aren't alone baby girl. Gabbie said that's what happened with Kaavia and look how close they are now. They're the best of friends. A lot of women go through what you're going through, you not in it by yourself. You got me beautiful." I kissed her cheek.

Her dimples sunk, her smile brightening up my entire mood. My mood depended on hers.

"What? Now I got you huh?"

"You've always had and will always have me, always."

"Momma I'm done!" Cavalli yelled, she came running to me while waving her notebook around.

I smiled at her, my lips still pressed against Onika's cheek. I moved away from her and Cavalli hopped in my lap. She slapped her notebook open on Nika's desk as I sat up for her.

As she explained her homework to me, Nika got up to get Luxe. I paid attention to both situations, watching Onika love on Luxe and listening to Cavalli rant on about numbers. She wasn't even on the topic anymore.

"Momma can you come to school with me tomorrow?"

Nika busted out laughing, causing Luxe to start crying.

"Oh nooo baby, it's okay. Don't cry. Mommy's sorry." She cradled Luxe and it warmed my heart. Little did she know, she was connecting with Luxe right now.

"I can't come to school with you tomorrow baby."

"Why?" She scribbled on the paper.

"Because Momma overreacted and did some really bad things-"

"Momma is expelled."

"How you expelled Momma? You not enrolled."

"Just know Momma isn't allowed to come to your school anymore."

"But Mommy you work hereee!" She whined and I could hear her about to cry. Her voice was cracking and all.

I pulled her closer to me and pouted with her. "Don't cry Princess."

"Mommy you have to come!"

"What's going on at your school? You're about to cry and everything."

"'Cause we have to bring a parent and everybody gonna think I don't have one."

"But you have two."

"They don't know that Mommy!"

"We gon have to have a conversation about you yelling cause you keep on and you gon get yo first ass whooping."

"What's that?"

"You gon see. Keep it up."

"Mommyyyyy."

"What you want me to do Cavalli?"

"Come with me to school."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"You waited all this damn time to tell us for what?"

"We were in Paris Mommy. Momma told me not to bother you."

"Why would you tell her that?"

"You wanted to be bothered not even a week after having a baby?"

"You still gonna come Mommy?"

"Yes."

Taylor bursted in the room and I stood up and went around the desk, fast as hell.

"Get out." I held the door open for her. She looked at Onika for assurance.

"Ba-"

"Onika, no. You not about to be nice to her. Not gonna happen."

"You gon stop disrespecting me Beyoncé."

I stared at her, my eyes widened. "Who are you talking to? Nobody disrespected you. You're the one being disrespectful. I don't know how many times both me and Onika have told you to stop coming in here without permission. What if we were having sex in here? You just have no respect for your BOSS, I can't wait 'til she fires your ass."

"Okay can y'all stop?" Nika asked, patting Luxe's back.

I took Luxe from her. "Tell her to get out and stop tryna be nice to these bitches. I'm not playing." I whispered harshly in her ear.

"Taylor I'm pretty sure I told you not knock. Skylar even knocks. If you can't follow a simple direction as that, what can you listen to?"

"I listen to everything you say to me Ms. Maraj."

"Not to knock on that damn door." I interrupted. "Your boss is way too nice. If it were me, I would have already fired your ass."

I already knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to play that innocent card for my fiancé and it's not gonna happen. Not while I'm still walking this damn earth.

"Ms. Maraj..."

Cavalli jumped out of the chair and ran through my legs, holding onto the door. "Gooo!"

"Cavalli!" Nika yelled.

"No. Let her be. She good."

"No she's not. That's disrespectful."

"And what she's doing isn't disrespectful? What the hell Onika?"

"Okay but Cavalli is a child."

"And? Age makes disrespect different? No. You keep giving this woman a pass and that's not okay."

"I'm not giving her a pass." She kissed Luxe.

Taylor looked at me and I jumped at her. I needed this dumb ass bitch to know what the hell was going on. Like why does she keep coming up in here like that? A hot ass fucking mess. I wanna punch that bitch in her face.

**

"The kids are down and Stinky won't be up for another six hours."

"Beyoncé why you acting like I can have sex?"

"I didn't even say nothing about that nasty ass. How you feeling new mama?"

"I'm not no damn new mama. I been a mama for almost seven years."

"You still don't feel connected with Luxe?" I shut the computer off and she turned to me. Tearing up like her damn daughters. "Why you 'bout to cry?"

"'Cause... I do feel connected with her but I don't. It's weird because you connect with her so swiftly."

"It was cause I took my shirt off."

The two of us laughed but I could feel her discomfort. Her and Luxe weren't connecting the way they needed to. I was gonna fix that. They needed more time together.

"It's okay. Look, I'll let you spend more time with Luxe and I'll do the same, just with Cavalli."

"No. I won't do that to you."

"Do what? Regardless, they're my children and I'm always gonna be here for them. So will you. We gon' be fine. Plus, you gave her life, where you gon' go?"

"Nowhere."

"Right so it's gon' be good. You're gonna connect with Stinky."

"Why do you call her that?"

I took my shoes off, laid on the bed, and scrolled through my phone. "I genuinely don't know but that's my Stinky. I told her you loved her before she went to sleep. That girl is something else."

"What she do?"

"Act like you all damn day. You know what's crazy?"

"What?"

"Come here."

She laid on top of me, her head beside mine so she was looking at my phone too. "What's crazy?"

"The kid already has her own personality. I know she acts like you and Cavalli. She gon' have a mouth on her when she's able to talk."

"I don't know why you act like my mouth is such a damn problem, it's really not."

"It really is. You almost got shot over your mouth."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Remember that night with the Matzos'? You almost got shot because you wanted to talk your shit."

"Actually, I put my hands on her, it wasn't my mouth. If I get shot for anything, it's gon' be for my hands and not for my mouth."

My phone rang and the moment I saw that it was Pretty Boy, I answered the phone. The moment I answered, I could hear him bawling like crazy. What the hell was going on?

"Sit up mamas."

She moved away from me, rolling onto her side of the bed. "What's going on?" She mouthed.

I shrugged my shoulders, listening to Taylor cry on the phone. "Tell me wassup boy, what's wrong?"

He couldn't even get the words out but I understood him. I'd been listening to this man cry tragedy after tragedy so I knew what he wanted.

"Stay where you at man, I'm coming. Don't hang up."

I hopped up out of the bed, running to throw some clothes on.

Whatever was wrong with my boy, I needed to be there for him. That's the way it's been since I met him. I knew he was always gonna be my boy and my heart was always with him.

"I'll be back, stay here and don't be stubborn. Got me?" I leaned over the bed and attempted to kiss her but she pushed me back.

"Streets calling?"

"No, Pretty Boy is. That's my boy and you know that. He needs me."

"I know that but fuck."

"Talk when I come home?"

"Whatever. Do what you gotta do then bring your ass home."

I kissed her forehead and rushed out of the house, onto the roads. I passed red lights and swerved through every car until I saw Taylor's banged up car on the side of the road but there was no ambulance. Why was no one helping?

"Fuck." I swore to myself, running to his car.

I snatched the door open, pulling him out of the car. "Yo, you're good man, come on."

"N-No!" He yelled as he pointed to the car.

I looked in the car and both Kennedy and Makayla were in the car, just as fucked up as he was. I sat him down on the road and ran to the car. I got the back door open and struggled to get Makayla out of her carseat. She was crying real hard, her face all red.

"Daddy's right there lil mama, don't cry. It's aight. Let me get Mommy."

I sat Makayla in Taylor's lap and he held onto her real tight. I went to go get Kennedy and Taylor started sobbing.

"She's... She's dead man."

"Nah, ain't no way."

He just nodded his head as he held Makayla. My heart broke for him.

"We gon' get some help, I promise. I promise man."
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