Continued...

I got up off the couch, wiping the rest of my tears off of my face. There wasn't one person that looked just like me except Ming and Beyoncé would have said Ming. She knows what Ming looks like. She knows exactly who Ming is so what the fuck is going on.

"Who are you?" I asked. The woman looked just like me but nowhere near old enough to be my grandma. My mom is dead so ain't no way that's her.

"Onika? I'm your mother."

"No you're not. My mama dead honey. Who told you where we live?"

Beyoncé was just looking.

"We need to talk."

"We don't. I don't know who you are."

"I'm your mother." She pulled something out of her purse then showed me her ID. The name said 'Carol Maraj' but there was no way I believed that woman. Whoever she was.

"Just because you pull out an ID with my mother's name on it, doesn't make you my mother."

She put her hands on her head, cursing at me in broken Trinidadian. I knew exactly what she was saying but Bey was confused. Shit wasn't adding up right now.

"Little girl, I am your mother. You were born on December 8th at Mount Hope Women's Hospital. Three a.m."

I furrowed my eyebrows. How the fuck does this lady know when I was born, where I was born?

"I don't-"

"Nobody told you how your mother looked?"

"Uh uh."

"Come in the house. If y'all just gon' stand in my door, we got a problem. Letting out all my cold air." Bey complained. Me and the woman laughed at her. She sounded like somebody's grandma.

We both walked in the house and I stayed close to Beyoncé. Cavalli was probably asleep and I was honestly scared. Whoever this woman was made me feel safe and that wasn't good. Beyoncé just let this woman in our home without even knowing her. That wasn't Beyoncé. What's going on?

"You know her Bey?" I asked her.

"That's your mom Nika, that's the only reason she's here."

"So why you acting like you don't know her when you the one that invited her?"

"I wanted you to figure it out on your own."

I didn't know how to feel.

"You were supposed to have been dead." I was not gonna cry but I sure as hell was tempted.

But she was already crying. "I couldn't afford a baby Nika. I was going to abort you but there was this guy named Genie. He told me that he'd take great care of you since there was no way I could do it. If I had kept you, you would have been dead. I didn't want you to be dead so I had to pretend."

"Seriously?! What about Tiana and Ming? Do they know who you are?"

"Yes, I was in their lives. I just had to leave all of you due to some things that were happening in my life-"

"I'm a grown woman now, you can tell me what was going on. I know you were gonna move right past that."

"It was just a lot of stuff Onika. People were out to get me, trying to kill me and stuff like that. It's over now which is why it took me so long to tell you about me being alive." She looked at Bey. "This one really cares about you." Bey blushed.

I made a face. Did this muthafucka just blush? For somebody that's not me?

"You're really my mother?"

She nodded her head. I turned around and almost went upstairs but Bey wouldn't let me. I loved and hated this about her. She want a bitch to face her problems all the time. She don't do the same though.

"Talk to her."

"The first time I've ever seen Genie is twenty-five years into my life. He lied to you G. That nigga ain't never taken care of me." I was pissed. Pissed at her for leaving me, pissed at Genie for lying to my mother, pissed at myself for not killing Genie myself.

"Oh so you've seen him?!" She got excited.

"Yeah, not anymore though."

"Why not?"

"That nigga dead." Bey dismissed the issue.

"Why you asking about Genie?" I asked. She got too excited when I said I've seen him.

She sighed. "Robert isn't your father baby girl, Genie is."

Tears slipped down my face. "You lying. Ain't no way- did he know?"

"Yes."

"So that nigga tried to kill me knowing I was his daughter?! He sat there and told me to suck his dick knowing he was my father?! Oh I'mma-"

"There's nothing you can do. He's already dead."

"I don't want nobody to talk to me."

I made my way upstairs into the bathroom of our room. I locked the door, sitting on the floor. I had to ball up my fists to stop from pulling my hair out. This shit was a lot. Why does everything keep coming up at one time? Cavalli's grandad was dead because of me but I wasn't remorseful for what I had Beyoncé do. I didn't have the stomach to do it unless it was for Bey or my daughter but I was glad he was dead. My mom wasn't dead and apparently she cheated on my 'dad' with my dad. Everything was confusing as hell. I had NOT ONE full sibling. My entire life had been a lie. I blame my mother for all of it.

"Baby. Can you open the door?"

"No."

"You know, I think how you think. I'm your other half. You can't blame your mother for what she had to do. If keeping Cavalli safe meant you had to leave her, you would do it. That's just the type of mother you are. I see that in YOUR mother as well. She wanted what was best for you and obviously, you got what was best for you. Look at you. You really poppin' shit out here. Everything you went through got you here. Throwing out blame isn't going to do anything but hurt you and the people around you."

"I love you Bey."

"Uh huh. I love you too. Now come out. Go talk to your mother."

Beyoncé

With Onika getting to know her mother and Cavalli's ankle being broken, I decided that I would one, go see my Nana and two, take Cavalli out. I already knew it was gonna hurt seeing my Nana, talk to her but I missed her so much. I needed to update her on what was going on.

Cavalli and I sat with her in silence. My daughter was much more mature than I thought she was. She was smart. She knew when Momma was feeling bad. She just knew.

"Momma, Nana's in a better place right?"

I don't know what place was better than with me but yeah, I guess so. "Yes."

"Can I tell you what Nana told me? About when she died?"

"Yeah."

She turned her body toward me. "She said that if she dies, she ain't really going nowhere. She said she's gonna stay right by my side through everything. She told me to look out for you because you would take it the hardest. I always listen to Nana."

"You're not sad?" I asked her.

She crawled over, careful with her leg. She hugged me. "Not anymore. I was sad a lot before. Mommy noticed it and she said you didn't because you were dealing with your own pain. I love Nana so much and I'm not going to forget her but I won't wallow in sorrows. She didn't want that."

I was shocked as hell. Did my six-year-old daughter just use the word 'wallow' correctly? Did she just school me on my own feelings?

"Talk to Nana. Can I call Mommy?"

"Yeah. Here." I gave her my phone and helped her on her crutches. She smiled at me, going far enough to where I couldn't hear her conversation but could hear her.

I hadn't even realized I was crying until the tears fell down onto my shirt. "Damn. Hey Nana. You heard Cavalli just school me like she was you? Crazy as hell right? I'm able to see her now and Nika trusts me now. We're also back together. I thought you would've been here to see that. I wish you were. Nika Momma not dead and Genie is her real Daddy. He dead now but like... why does stuff keep happening and I don't have nobody to talk to? I know I can talk to Onika but it's like I want your advice. Sometimes Onika doesn't know what to do and I can understand that because she's going through it as well. I need a third eye, I need my net. You're my net Nana. You're always there so I won't fall on my ass and get hurt but it seems like that's what happening now that you're gone. That hurts more than any pain you were trying to keep me from." I broke down into more tears. "I just don't wanna hurt no more Nana."

It was like I could hear her but I knew she wasn't here. I knew she wasn't beside me but I missed her so damn much.

"Momma! You ready?! Mommy said y'all going out tonight!"

Onika didn't tell me that. "Yeah! I'm ready baby! Come on." I placed the roses down then grabbed the rest of our things.

I helped Cavalli in the car and we rode back to the house. There were a bunch of cars there so I assumed that Onika had told her friends that we lived here now.

We went in the house and all of her friends were in the living room and kitchen. Cavalli sat on the couch, conversing with Kelly. The other Kelly was in the kitchen with Meagan.

I went to find Onika and when I did, she had on this Fendi bodysuit and some jeans. I knew it was a bodysuit because her jeans were unbuttoned.

"What you doing in here?" I shut the door to our room.

"Trying on some clothes. You like this one?"

"Take it off. Let me see if I like it."

"You can see it on me." She hugged me but I didn't hug back.

I licked my lips, staring inside the shirt. "You got on a bra?"

"Beyoncé come on now."

"I'm just asking. You look good."

"Thank you."

"I went to see Nana today and Cavalli school the shit outta me. I was shook as fuck."

"What she say?"

"Just a bunch of deep shit that you and Nana told her. That girl is smart."

"I told you she's not dumb. She can be EVERYTHING but dumb."

"She's only six Nic."

"I know how old she is." She laughed then held my face. "How you feeling today?"

"I'm okay."

"Is it getting any better?"

"Missing Nana? No, never. But Cavalli told me that I can't just wallow in my sorrows because that's not what Nana would have wanted."

"Oh she schooled you for real."

"Yeah, she did. Where we going?"

"I wanna take you where my mom said she took the dad I claim as mine when she told him she loved him. It is absolutely gorgeous."

"So why you wearing a bodysuit?"

"It's not a bodysuit dummy. It's a bathing suit."

"Well I'm not getting in no damn water."

"You won't have to baby. Come on."
______
So? Genie being Nika's real dad?

Would you have left and pretended you were dead so your daughter could live?

Was Bey right for not telling Nika right away?