Chapter 06: A Long Day's End

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Seth didn't think that he would be glad to see the miserable, ramshackle colony, but damned if he wasn't relieved and even a bit cheerful when the gate closed firmly behind him.

"You did well, Seth. Thank you for your assistance. I look forward to working with you again," Yex said as they moved deeper into the colony.

"Same, Yex. You're pretty great," Seth replied. He suddenly offered the ithorian his hand. Yex immediately clasped it and shook it.

"You are a good man, Seth. I can sense it. Now, I must find my shack and eat. Tomorrow awaits us," he said.

Seth nodded, his good mood only increasing. He wasn't sure if he was a good person or not, but he did feel confident that Yex was.

He watched him go, disappearing into the encampment. As he left, Nova took his place, coming to him with a bag, cinched at the top. "Here," she said, "another change of clothes. Um...what happened at the plant?" she asked.

"Yex fixed it. Some Dreks showed up. I killed them all. We should be good, for now. We're going to need a long-term solution," Seth explained.

Nova smirked suddenly. "I think I have one."

"What is it?"

"Later. You need to get a shower, some food, and some sleep. Go to the showers. Seri is waiting for you there," Nova replied.

"All right, um...thanks."

"No, thank you. You've helped out a lot today. I'll meet back up with you tomorrow."

"Don't wake me up unless people are dying," he replied.

"We're all dying," Nova said. "But don't worry, no one will wake you unless it's a genuine emergency."

He nodded, then headed off, making for the shower area. He felt good, but he was definitely in pain, his muscles aching, his burns hurting, his head throbbing. A shower would go a really long way towards feeling better, though. A hot meal too. Although a hot meal was probably too much to ask for right now. At this point though, he'd settle for pretty much any food. He came to the structure housing the showers and storage room, nodded to Essale. She nodded back, let him in.

"Seri's waiting for you," she said.

He thanked her and headed inside, this time going through the left door, which was already open. He found Seri waiting for him inside. She stood before a counter with a simple washbasin beside it and a row of four basic stalls with no doors on them, each one a very simple shower. She had a medical kit open on the counter and some supplies spread out.

"Seth," she said as he came in, "you've made it back. I was beginning to get a little worried. It is very dangerous out there."

"That it is," he murmured.

"Close the door," Seri said, continuing to organize her tools and supplies. Seth did so, but began to feel a little uncomfortable. He trusted Seri, but hospitals made him anxious for the same reason that they probably made most people anxious. Needles and sickness and death. And needles. He hated needles.

He'd forced himself to get over that fear, for the most part.

"Strip down," Seri said as he moved away from the door. He hesitated again. "Don't worry, nudity does not affect me. I won't be uncomfortable."

He tried not to sigh. It was great knowing that she wasn't going to be uncomfortable if he got naked, but he sure was. But, again, that was something you had to get over in the military as well. Lots of shared space, communal showers and barracks and all that. Seth started stripping down. Despite his discomfort, it did feel good to get these clothes and his armor off. Before long, he stood completely naked before Seri.

"I was afraid of this," she said, studying him. "A few of your wounds reopened. Well, it would make sense for you to wash yourself first. Here, hold on."

He watched her walk over to one of the stalls and turn on the water. It took a moment to get going, and even then it didn't look too good or clean coming out.

"It needs a moment to be properly filtered after the plant being shut off," she explained, coming back. He just nodded. She was studying him again, though now she was simply looking at him, not at his wounds.

"Um...something on your mind?" he asked.

"Yes." She paused a moment longer, as though considering her words. "Would you be adverse to me showering with you?"

"I...ah...is there a particular reason?" he replied.

"Oh. Yes. I suppose an explanation would help. Even with the filtration plant, our reserves of water are limited. Two people consuming roughly the same amount of the water is more logical than if I took a shower on my own," she explained.

He hesitated a few seconds longer, then just shrugged. Why not? He wasn't sure if that completely followed, but at this point, he was getting too tired to care. "Okay," he said simply.

"Thank you. I can also examine you further, and help tend to your back."

He just nodded. After just a bit longer, the water finally became clear and steamed with a wonderful heat. It looked terribly inviting. He moved into the stall and stood beneath the showerhead. He hissed and gritted his teeth at the pain of hot, running water on his burned areas, but held his position.

Even still, it felt good in some way. A psychological comfort.

"Perhaps I should turn the temperature down..." Seri murmured as she finished stripping down and then moved into the shower with him.

"No, it's okay. My muscles need this, and I like my showers hot," he replied.

"Very well."

He stood there awhile longer, letting the water wash away all the dirt and sweat and blood and grime and dead skin he'd built up over the past...however long he'd been going since the horrendous space battle overhead began.

Eventually, he opened his eyes and saw Seri standing in front of him. She looked close enough to a human woman to look at least kind of attractive...

Seth shut down that part of his brain fast and hard.

She didn't seem interested in him and he wasn't going to make this weird.

"Here," she said, offering him a bar of soap and a washrag. "This is antibacterial and the washrag should help get some of your dead skin off. The kolto managed to deal with almost all of the burns, but even so, it will not be, ah, pleasant. I have painkillers if you desire."

"Maybe after the shower," he replied, accepting it. He started running the soap over his body, trying to cover as much as he could. "So, um...you're from a water planet, aren't you?" he asked.

"My species is. Manaan. But I grew up here, on Taris."

"Is it hard to survive in a place like this?"

She sighed, or what he assumed was a sigh. "It can be. I feel guilty. I require more water than anyone else down here. I make up for it as best I can, and they are all more than happy to give me water in return for the medical expertise I offer, but still...it's even more frustrating because one of the things Yex has had to trade for are pills that delay dehydration for me. They are expensive."

"How did you end up down here?" he asked.

She frowned, considering it. "It is a long, sad story, and I would not like to talk about it now."

"I understand."

"Thank you."

He went as fast as he could after that, first going over himself with the soap, then once with the rag, which did make him grit his teeth in pain, his skin still pretty raw in some places. Once he'd gotten that out of the way, he went over himself with the soap one more time. When he thought he was done, Seri held her hand out.

"I will get your back. It needs it," she reminded him.

"Yeah, I guess so," he muttered, turning around. He winced but held his peace as she got to work. "How bad is it?"

"Not too bad, but you easily got it the worst back here," Seri replied. She was silent for a few seconds longer. "What will you do?" she asked.

"About what?"

"About leaving. Have you determined anything further yet?"

"I...Nova and I are working on a plan."

"Oh?"

"Yes. She asked me not to talk about it to anyone. I think she doesn't want to get anyone's hopes up about, uh, anything," he murmured, suddenly wondering if he had said too much already.

"I understand her discretion," Seri replied simply, relieving him.

After what felt like far too long, she finished with his back, then took his spot in the shower. He carefully dried off as she washed up, soaking in the water, her skin glistening. He wondered what it must be like, being a species that evolved in water, being forced to live in a place like this. It had to be a nightmare, and that just made him even more curious about how she had ended up here. But by her reaction, it had to be sad.

Seth waited for Seri to be done, and eventually she was. She didn't dry off, instead simply coming out and beginning the process of fixing him up.

"I'm going to use some more kolto on you," she said.

"Maybe you shouldn't. There's so little of it..."

"I believe we will use less kolto than we would alternative supplies maintaining you," Seri explained.

"All right, then."

She applied a thin film of kolto over his burns, cuts, and scrapes, then covered the worst of them with some gauze patches and bandages. Once that was finally finished, he opened up the bag Nova had given him and pulled out the new clothes. Well, different, not really new. They were a step up at least: an all-black jumpsuit with several pockets, faded in several places but very functional. Before long, the pair of them were dressed and heading back outside.

"Where am I staying?" he asked.

"In my cabin," Seri replied. "I have a spare cot and I had some extra food brought in for your meal."

"Oh. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

They moved back across the settlement. Although the light level was the same, he noticed significantly less activity now. It must be 'night', he decided. There were two different people by the front gate, guarding it and chatting quietly. He followed Seri. Like Nova's and Yex's shacks, hers was one of the better ones. Larger, sturdier, with more stuff inside of it. Moving around felt weird and kind of sticky, what with the thin film of kolto across most of his body, but at least the pain levels had reduced. Kolto also had a kind of numbing quality to it. Now he just had hunger and an intense, immensely powerful lethargy to contend with.

The meal wasn't much, but Seth enjoyed it all the same. He ate meat, fruits, and vegetables from sealed cans.

"Don't hold back, you need to eat, to finish healing," Seri said. "And you seem to have earned it. Your pod has brought much to us, and getting the plant back online was a great help."

"Yex did that," Seth murmured.

"And you assisted."

He just nodded, going through a can of mixed fruit, then downing it with a canteen of water. It tasted better this time around, at least.

"How long have you been a soldier?" Seri asked.

"Twelve years," he replied. "I signed up as soon as I was legally able."

"Why?"

"I...had an unhappy upbringing. And spent a long time in poverty. It's like, uh, how you didn't want to talk about your own circumstances earlier."

"Ah. I understand."

"Thanks. But I guess it's fair to tell you some about myself, given you saved my life. I fought in the Mandalorian Wars. I've seen a lot of combat. Spent a lot of time in kolto tanks. Seen a lot of worlds."

"Do you have anyone in your life? Friends? Family?"

He sighed. "No, not anymore. I mean, I've got people that I'm friends with, but that's the nature of war and the military. We got split up. I've got no idea where they are now. No real family to speak of. Hoping to have a big party once this is all over. Hit some pleasure planet and go on a three week binge to celebrate. Then..." he shook his head. "Then we get to start picking up the pieces. Again. Provided nothing else goes wrong."

"I don't hear much about the war down here. Do you think we can win?"

"I...don't know," he said softly. "Although I guess it won't matter to me if I don't make it out of here alive."

"It is good at least that you have hope, and determination. Both of those things are in short supply down here. I often find myself struggling with depression and anxiety."

Seth just nodded. "I'm deeply familiar with both of those," he murmured. "There's pills for them, but really, pills can only do so much when your life is a nightmare and you actually do have several legitimate reasons for feeling intensely depressed and paralyzingly anxious."

"Yes. I imagine you would have difficulty with managing such emotions, being a soldier."

He laughed, a little bitterly. "Yeah, you could say that. I've figured out ways to deal with it. Mostly I just ignore it. Which probably isn't a great idea. But really, whenever it's getting really bad, there's one thing that's gotten me through the worst of it."

"What's that?" Seri asked.

"I know that the only way to go on...is to go on. Even when you feel like you can't. Especially when you feel like you can't." He waited to see how Seri would react to this. She said nothing, instead opting to look down at her meal. He couldn't read her. "It's kind of stupid, I know, but-" he began, but she cut him off.

"No," she said, looking back up at him. "It is not stupid. It makes sense. It is an admission of the simple reality of the situation. You either continue, or give up. A binary choice. I have seen people endure long past the point where I thought they would give up, or even break. I think many people can endure far longer than they think they can. But few wish to, because to endure is to suffer. I know this well."

"As do I," he murmured. He yawned suddenly. "Sorry."

"No, you've had a long day. You need to sleep."

Part of him wanted to argue, he wanted to talk about this more, but now that he was full of food and had showered, and with kolto slowly seeping into his body, his battle with lethargy was one that he was rapidly losing.

Especially when Seri offered him a pain relieving injection. As much as the shower and the kolto had helped, he still felt like crap, his headache throbbing, muscles sore and aching.

"Thanks," he said as she stuck the hypo into his neck. He winced slightly at the small prick of the needle he felt, but then began to feel better, and sleepier.

Standing up, he swayed slightly, then moved over to the cot she'd set up for him. It looked old, but there were pillows and a blanket. He kicked out of his boots, then gratefully crawled beneath the blanket.

He was asleep almost the second his head hit the pillow.

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