Broken

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I STARE AT MY SNICKERDOODLE CREAM CHEESE APPLE PIE, compliments of Owen Samuels. I'm still savoring in my win as I make googly eyes at my pie and sigh happily to myself, completely content.

"I swear your one true love is food." Am sits down in the stool smiling.

Owen brought me home and I'm delighted knowing I'll see him at dinner. There's nothing that can bring me down. "My mom made you some kind of special salad for tonight."

Am beams at that. "Really? Your mom may be a pain, but she's the best cook."

I walk over to grab my purse and fix my long grey maxi dress. Mom thought it would be a good idea to hide my leg...

Am watches me and a knowing look passes in her eyes. "I'll bring you some extra clothes to change into at your mom's." She comes over and takes out a piece of dirt from my hair "Why are you doing this again? I'm shocked, especially with how you and Owen were all over each other today."

I smile like an idiot. It's like it's permanently tattooed on my face. "Mom promised me if I go on this one, it will be the last. I don't know what's going on between Owen and I, but I think this is my chance Am. I think he's seriously interested in me."

Am's eyes warm. "It's not a chance Buttercup, it's going to happen. I've always known it."

I cock a brow at her. "Is that why you've never set me up on dates."

She tilts her head looking flawless. "Why send you men, when Owen was bound to come back for you."

I start looking for my keys in my purse as I ask the question that's been plaguing my mind for years. "What about you?"

When I peek up I see her face fall. "I'm good with my single life. I have work to keep me busy... and you." She ends with a smile. "Now you better get going or else you'll be late."

"At least I won't get pulled over by Owen this time."

She pushes me out the door with a strict expression plastered on her face. "Please Harp, no more tickets."

I give her a salute as she shuts the door. Laughing I head out and drive to the dumb date happily. I walk in the little café and look around for a guy in some blue shirt and grey slacks. My eyes stop on a man by a window. He has nicely styled brown hair and brown eyes, but all I can think about is getting this over with.

I try to walk over there smoothly but my leg is killing me from the game so I resort to limping the rest of the way to him. He turns indignant eyes on me and I halt. He stands and shoves his seat away.

"Harper Collins?" The obviously annoyed expression on his face makes me want to say no and walk out or smash his face in.

Last one girl, last one.

I put on a fake smile. "Yes and you're Brandon."

His jaw clenches. "So the gimp arrives. I was hoping you'd at least be a looker."

My hand falls at that. No amount of sass in me could prepare me for that comment. Shame slaps me in the face and my chest tightens in agony. Is that how people see me now? A gimp? It was easy to be confident with two strong legs, but now it's not so easy anymore.

I swallow. "I'm sorry, I was in the explosion at the elementary school. I'm still in the healing proce..."

"Just sit down. I'm not interested in a sob story." He rudely interrupts.

My temper flares. "People, children died. How could you say that?"

He narrows his eyes at me. "People die every day. You should get some tougher skin." He points to my leg. "I won't be the only one saying things like this to you."

My fists shake in rage. "Have a nice day."

He snaps his fingers at me and points to the chair opposite of him. "Sit down Ginger. I'm only here for two months so I don't mind having some fun with you before then, despite your condition."

Who is this guy? He's making the bowling alley dufus look chivalrous. And he called me Ginger?

No one calls me Ginger.

I slam my hand on the table making it shake and people to turn in our direction. "There's something you should know about me. I have a quick temper and pack a mean punch. One more demeaning word from your mouth and I knock your teeth out."

He stares at me unamused and with emotionless eyes. He stands and towers over me but I'm not intimidated until the next words flow out of his mouth like venom. "Wouldn't be a good idea to hit the mayor's son, now would it?"

I step back. Crap in a bag.

He eyes me. "I hate this as much as you but I've been getting some bad publicity, so my dad decided it would be a good idea for me to date you as punishment. Sympathy earns a lot of points in the media and he wants to save face after this whole bombing incident, using me for it."

He cocks a brow at my silence. "Didn't your mom tell you? This is all a setup. We date for the two months I'm here and I make my dad look good and you get to shine in the spotlight. A voice for the victims."

He puts his hand up in the air as if he's a reporter. "Headline: Mayor's Wild Child Changing Tides by Dating School Bombing Victim."

I clench my teeth in disgust as he puts his hand down giving me a smug look. He roams his eyes over me. "Damaged goods come with perks."

I punch him.

Right in the face and watch with vindication as he falls onto the floor. He wipes his bloody nose with his shirt as he stares at me in shock.

"Screw you."

I storm out to the best of my ability as he shouts angrily, "Be excepting a hospital bill along with getting served."

I can't even process what I just did.

Damaged goods? I'm damaged goods?

My leg throbs and once I'm inside I slam my car's door shut. Damaged goods. Those words have haunted me my whole life but it wasn't until today and in this moment that realized they had. My leg could've blown off completely and it wouldn't affect me nearly as much as when my dad had left. He's the reason I'm damaged.

It's weird how circumstances totally unrelated to each other can open up old wounds and make them bleed more than the first. I drive away and halt at a stop light and finally let myself cry. I'm tired of being strong. I scream, hit my fists against the steering wheel and wail. A car honks behind me and I look up to see the light's turned green.

I try wiping away the angry tears as I drive. All I feel now is raw, all consuming anger as my leg pulses from pain. This stupid leg. If it wasn't for this leg I could've gotten Nick out sooner, I could've saved him. I glance at the clock and see that dinner is probably starting at mom's. At the thought of mom, my temper heightens to that of Mount Everest.

Why would she do this to me?

I drive around trying to cool off my head before I interrupt dinner but the more I'm in my head, the angrier I get. I pull up to the curb in front of the house. I can see everyone in the dining room eating and laughing. My fingers grip the car door handle and I rip it open, limping angrily to the house.

When I step inside I shut the front door so hard that for a second I wonder if I made the whole house shake, especially with how the light fixtures shuddered and clanked.

Hurricane Harper coming through.

"Harp is that you? Did you slam my door?" My mother's irritated voice chimes.

I walk pass the dining room and straight to my old room where I know Am has my change of clothes. "Who else would it be?" I snap.

I hear Am whisper, "Oh no."

"You okay Harp?" Matt asks, but I'm already storming/limping up the stairs and into my room to change. I feel a little more like myself once I have my t-shirt and shorts on. I take a few even breaths and go downstairs and enter the dining room not looking at anymore.

Damaged goods.

I can't stop his voice invading my mind and I growl. He said things to me I never even knew I feared. Mom looks at me with annoyance as I shove my chair back and plop down on it, spooning gallons of mashed potatoes onto my plate.

"That's plenty Harper." She states strictly. I finally look at her and continue plopping mashed potatoes with heated rebellion until it's about to overflow.

"How did you mess it up this time? At least give me an idea of what I'm about to hear from Courtney."

I don't touch my food and lean back in my chair. I'm fighting tears by distracting myself with the sound of my fork clinking against my plate. No one says anything and I quietly ask, "Why?"

Mom stiffens when my eyes lock on hers and she feigns innocence. "Why what?"

I snap and mimic the idiot from earlier by throwing up my hand in the air. "Headline: Mayor's Wild Child Changing Tides by Dating School Bombing Victim."

Matt drops his fork and Elise's eyes widen. Am stiffens as Owen remains eerily silent. I notice the girls aren't here and I'm guessing the baby is napping in the bassinet next to Elise.

Remain calm Harp. At last for little Matthew's sake.

"How could you do that to me?"

Mom rolls her eyes. "You should agree to it sweetheart. You could make a real difference by being with someone like him."

Remain calm. "Why because his dad's a slimy politician? Why would I want to be with a guy like that mom?"

Mom drops her fork and dabs at the corners of her mouth with her napkin then places her hands neatly in her lap. "Listen sweetie, I think you need to start being realistic. You had a hard time before trying to find someone, now it will be even more difficult. I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you, but men will take notice and turn away. You're personality is already barbaric and now you have..."

"Mom!" Matt yells.

Am grabs my hand from under the table as my mom looks around with a blameless look. "We all have to realize what happened to Harp is going to cause problems for her. You heard the doctor she will never be able to walk the same way again and, worst off, it will never look the same."

Elise jumps in and I'm shocked by the anger in her voice. "Momma Collins what you're saying is terrible."

Mom's unmoved. "Harper, look, you aren't going to find love with the way you are. You are too much like how I was before your father left. You're stubborn, thick headed, unladylike and to top it off your leg has been mutilated and hard to look at." As if I didn't already know that. "This is your chance to be with someone secure. Yes, it's not a love match but you could continue being... you and yet be taken care of."

I sneer, "Yeah, he said two months mom. How's that secure?"

She licks her lips. "It wouldn't be two months Harper. The mayor wants something more... long term."

Stay calm.

I howl in bitter laughter. "Okay, yeah, sure he does. Especially after he learns that I punched his son in the face and possibly broke his nose. You'll be paying for the bill by the way."

Mom gasps in horror. "You did not! Harper please tell me you're joking!"

"Nope." I pop out.

"How dare you! When will you stop behaving like a brute!"

"Mom, that's enough." Matt shouts slamming his fists on the table.

I refuse to look at Owen, afraid I'll see pity and I can't bear seeing that, not now. So, I keep my eyes on my mother. "You're using your daughter for the publicity, just like the mayor's using his son, aren't you? Boost your book sales, get you on another talk show."

She looks honestly hurt by that comment. "Absolutely not, I'm doing this for you."

"For me?" I ask bewildered, "You think a guy like that is good for me?"

She stares at me. "I'm worried about you sweetheart."

Am squeezes my hand but I'm already long gone. Calm is out the door. I'm past boiling over the pot. I'm over the stove and spilling on the floor.

"No," I whisper harshly, "You don't get to do that." I slam my fists on the table and throw my chair back by how quickly I stand up. "Stop with your little endearments and just call me a gimp like he did. That's how you see me right? That's how everyone sees me."

Mom's eyes fill with tears. "Of course not!"

I can feel the heat of my anger as I whisper out, "Then say it, say what you really think."

For the first time since my dad left my mom actually yells like a hysterical woman. "Do you want to be like me? Alone? I was just like you and it's why your dad left me!"

I froze. It hurt more than anything ever could. I always feared my dad left and didn't love me. Now I know if he met me now, he wouldn't. I can't hear anything mom is saying because my ears are ringing but she's going off, sobbing and ruining her perfect makeup and for once we look alike.

Matt's had enough and stands yelling at her but I don't hear any of it. My fingers dig into my hair and finally my lips move, "I am damaged goods, aren't I?"

Everyone is immediately quiet and then Little Matthew breaks it with a big long wail. I cover my eyes with my hand, trying to stop the tears from being exposed. I take a shaky breath, "He told me I'm damaged goods, mom and he's right but it's not my leg. it's because of dad."

I hear a chair slam against a wall and remove my hand to see a blurry Owen fuming in rage I've never seen from him before. Matt grabs his arm. "Calm down man. We aren't kids anymore. We can't just go and beat the crap out of the guy."

Owen rips his arm easily out of Matt's grip. "I'm not going to beat him, I'm going to kill him."

The viciousness in his voice makes me realize he's serious. Matt gets in front of him and I see Elise grab her son walking out and away from the madness.

Matt holds Owen steady. "I want to kill him to, but we can't."

Am stands with me in an attempt to soothe me by rubbing my back and mom's crying. The chaos is making my head throb from Owen and Matt's shouting to mom and the baby crying.

"Enough!" I shout.

Everyone stops except for Matthew Junior and Matt gets Owen to sit down. I slide Am's arms away and she steps off giving me my space. It feels like the more people try to comfort me, and the more I heal, the more everything hurts.

I turn to mom finally releasing my unshed tears. "It's true though isn't it. And maybe your right too. Who wants something that's broken?"

Mom stands and tries to come over to me, but I recoil and step away from her. I raise my voice sounding hysterical. "Why would anyone want me if my own dad didn't?

Matt stands. "Harp."

My eyes remain on mom. "You think you're afraid? Imagine being me."

I shove past her and out the door. I limp quickly to my car and snatch my bag from the game. I head to the one place that provides me some form of peace. The one place where I can break down and be pieced back together with each swing of my bat.

A/N: An intense and hard chapter! This was hard for me to write and edit. I hope I did a good job of showing Harp's pain, but also her mom's. Both woman had been hurt by a cowardly man as was Matt. What do you all think? And who do you think will be stepping up to the plate for Harp ;)

Don't forget to vote and comment!

~ Living Red




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