^^^ Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding (nightcore's version)

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Ponyboy's POV

Uhhh, my head! It was splitting in agony and my face didn't feel right either, like it was foreign, yet that made no sense. My mind was too foggy to put the pieces together, shards of memory shimmering faintly in my mind without meaning. I couldn't remember what had happened, like everything was just a dream, fuzzy and shady around the edges. All I could feel was the achy sensation coursing through my body, pain hitting me in consistently throbbing waves.

My eyelids were heavy and just...wrong! Thick and swollen, and at first they wouldn't budge, refusing to open. I panicked, allowing a meek whimper to escape my lips, trembling at the thought of being lost in that sea of sightless darkness alone again.

Suddenly, I felt softness, a touch, a caress. My hands were held. I could feel fingers stringing through my hair, sensing warmth from a person's touch. The gentleness soothed me, easing me into security. I wasn't alone in the blackness. I was safe. Nothing could hurt me.

When I convinced myself that there was nothing to be frightened of, I more calmly attempted once again to open my eyes, and this time they did open, slitting against the blinding white light. I blinked, struggling to take in the scene around me. Darry was on my left while Soda was on my right, both sitting on the edge of the mattress, my hands braided with theirs'. Dally and Steve stood at the far wall while Two-bit and Johnny leant over the foot of the bed, all eyeing me with ashen faces. With white glaring me down from every angle and the harsh cotton sheets rubbing ruthlessly at my skin, I knew I was in the hospital, but pieces of the puzzle still didn't quite fit. Ever so slightly, I shifted my head to Darry, my eyes making contact with his face as I longed for understanding. At the sight of his blue-green eyes, memory came rushing back, yet what I saw horrified me.

Darry was crying, tears glistening on his dampened cheeks. They were silent, strained, the teal in his eyes glinting in desperation, pleading, just like they were at mum and dad's funeral. Yet he didn't cry then, not even a single drop had etched it's way through those stony eyes. But now the ice was gone, leaving only flames to burn. How had I ever thought of him as unfeeling? How had I ever been scared of him? He did love me, possibly even more than Soda. That's why he hit me, because I'd scared him. Not because he didn't love me. Had I really been so blind? I'd never thought of how much fear I must've put him through when I went on my way to face the Socs. I didn't even think...

Watery diamonds blurred my vision as tears silently began to gush down my face, streaming down my swollen cheeks and raining down on the bed sheets below, my frame jerking with each soundless sob. Each quake was a biting pain rippling through me, but the strength to stop was something that I didn't possess.

"I'm so sorry, Darry," I choked out, the painful lump in my throat swelling as I struggled to speak.

"Oh, Pony," Darry sobbed, a fresh supply of tears sliding their way down his cheeks. He pulled me into his lap and I buried my face in his chest, allowing my tears to soak his t-shirt. At first I sobbed softly, trying to keep it together, until I burst, just letting it go. Darry rubbed the back of my head, his fingers trailing down to the nape of my neck as he whispered repeatedly, "It's ok, baby. Don't be sorry. You're ok. I'm so proud of you. You were so brave."

Never had I heard Darry say that he was proud of me before. My heart felt like exploding with happiness. I only snuggled into him deeper, hearing his reassuring heart beat against my ear as his body quivered with his own sobs. Darry was proud of me? Actually proud of me?

I leaned against him as he held me close, my convulsing sobs softening to strangled cries, until I had nothing left, tears falling without a sound. Darry rarely held me. Ever since mum and dad's funeral, I thought he never would again. All I'd thought I was was a burden, a chore, something to vent anger and frustration towards. Now, lying there with Darry's protective, warm arms around me, I knew better. I'd missed this more than I'd thought I ever would. Feeling his rough hands caressing my cheeks, his fingers in my hair, gathering me close without a single complaint. I didn't care if the gang were there watching. I never wanted him to let me go.

"I'm so glad it's over," my voice said, coming out muffled and hoarse within his embrace. "It's finally over and I'm glad it happened to me. It showed me who I am, and it proved to me how strong I am. Instead of letting others fix my problems, I went and fixed them myself. I can stand on my own two feet and I know that now. I couldn't bare them hurting you. After they went for Soda, I knew I had to make this stop. I didn't scream for no reason. I'm just glad that I stood up for myself and fort back. I'm just glad..."

Darry squeezed me a little tighter, and although it sent a spasm of pain shooting through me, I didn't care. My body was achy and tender, but I'd deal with anything as long as I could feel those secure arms surrounding me. I just savoured the moment, melting into the sensation while it lasted.

Yet time refused to freeze, and soon enough, Darry placed me back down in the bed and a tearful smile graced his bold features as he continued to run his fingers through my hair, thumbing away the last tears off my puffy cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Soda's wide grin as he watched us contently. I had a feeling that things were gonna be ok now between Darry and me.

Suddenly, I was gripped by guilt and I turned my head away, avoiding Darry's eyes once more. "I'm sorry I scared you before. I-I didn't mean to..." The moment the words came out I wished that I'd kept my mouth shut. I knew all too well that the phrase 'I didn't mean to' really brushed Darry up the wrong way. I still had the bruise to prove it.

Darry caught my chin in his hand and forced me to look at him. I didn't have the will to pull away, gazing into his eyes apprehensively. I was stunned however, by how gentle and calm his voice was. "You don't know half of it, Little Colt. But it's ok. It wasn't your fault. I knew you had to do this, and I'm proud. Okay?"

With a sheepish nod, he released me and I sunk a little in the covers, grateful for their warmth as shivers of cold went riding through me. "How bad am I?"

"The Doc said you'll be fine," Soda beamed, grasping my hand once more and lacing our fingers together. "Just need to rest for a few days."

"You also lost a lot of blood, kiddo," Darry chipped in, "and you're underweight."

"Oh," I exclaimed without emphasis. I hadn't been getting much down my throat in the last couple of weeks and I guess it was finally catching up to me, because to be honest, I felt half-starved. Just to prove my point, my stomach rumbled viciously and I felt heat rush up into my face as my cheeks burned red with embarrassment. Laughter echoed throughout the room, and even though it was at my own expense, it filled the void that had been left empty for so long.

"Hold on, kid," Two-bit chuckled, draping his leather jacket over his arm. "Let me get ya something, and none of this hospital..." He went on cheerfully to say quite a few colourful remarks. "I'll get ya something real."

"Golly, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing coming from Two-bit," I cringed mockingly.

"Don't get mouthy, Ponyboy," he retorted, cocking one of his famous eyebrows with a taunting smirk. "I could just get a nurse to give you some hospital crap instead..."

"No, no, no, I didn't mean that-"

"Just jokin' with you, kid. That would be torture. I'll be back in a jiffy!" With that, Two-bit spun on his heels and practically skipped out of the room with Steve right behind him.

I yawned, feeling a laps of exhaustion overwhelming me. Every part of my wiry body was tired, each muscle sore, each fiber tender and I longed to sleep.

"How long do you think they'll be?" I asked quietly, the stiff, grating bed sheets feeling rather inviting all of a sudden.

"A while probably. Why?" Darry's voice was distant as I began to give in to sleepiness.

"Wake me up once they get here, okay?"

Someone replied, yet I was too far gone to really register it. I was determined to keep my eyes open, yet I knew that war was already lost and eventually I shut off the desire to stay awake. I felt no fear. I knew the Socs weren't going to jump out from the shadows. It was over...finally over. I allowed my drooping eyes to shut, Dally's, Johnny's, Darry's, Soda's, Steve's and Two-bit's faces flashing in my mind. It'd been an uneven, wavering path with death at the finish line, yet I was alive with my family around me. Without them, the world would've shattered under my feet. I was more grateful then they'd ever know, especially to Johnny.

I felt soothing, gentle hands brush my cheeks and the warmth of the blankets as they swallowed me into an endless embrace. I had no energy, completely drained like someone had drawn it out of me. I welcomed sleep, lost in the warmth, the peaceful darkness easing me, the pain fading into nothingness. Man, you don't know how tense you are until you finally let it go...

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Hey guys!

I just want to let you know that this story is coming to an end. There is one more chapter left before the 'Acknowledgements', so I hope you're looking forward to that. The ending is going to have a few surprises, so wait and see. I am going back to school tomorrow, so I'll have less time to write :'(

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

M. Elyse Lynch